Re: Library Battle Simulation: Let's Play Library of Ruina
Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2023 9:08 am
Appendix 34: Xiao
Miris’ Page wrote: Director Xiao liked to emphasize something: “A mercenary’s work is to deceive; to fool the enemy into believing that we are advancing when we defend; to make the enemy believe we will thrust from the front when we strike from above. Feign submission when you raise your claws; we must seem unable when able to attack, that the enemy may grow arrogant. When the enemy is roused, distract them through disturbance; be aware that we ourselves are not subject to such anger. In order to defeat the enemy, we must be roused to anger; to remember that one’s emotions must remain a means to motivate the body and not the ends, and to exploit the enemy’s wrath with this in mind.” Our director may be seized with anger and momentarily stray onto inadvisable paths sometimes, but even the whitest jade has a flaw; I trust her to set herself back on the right track in no time.
Xiao’s Page wrote: I was in no way a soft person, though I don’t view myself as particularly tough or rugged, either. A straight and honest person. Accusations would be brought against me for being unmoved by the death of any person however close they may have been in life, a point not everyone would see as criticism. How could a person be so cold and heartless, even if the basic bearing of a Fixer is to look after oneself first and foremost? At first, I spent much time thinking over it, and asked myself many questions. Xiao as a person valued the lives of her colleagues, although her position forced her to keep her farewell to deceased teammates short, since carrying out her duty and emerging victorious came first. Shedding fewer drops of tears than the number of fallen was all the tribute I could pay. Bawling my eyes out would have stirred uneasiness in my colleagues. In the early days, the responsibility sometimes felt too heavy and burdensome.
I had never once thought that my method was incorrect; I believed it to be the best method for myself, and I deemed that problems couldn’t be solved any other way. Most Fixers will probably think in the same way. Therefore, I could not understand the manners of Lowell, the newly appointed Section 2 Director at the time. A person who tries to look after everyone, and doesn’t hide his grief-stricken face when a coworker passes away. It seemed clear as crystal that his tenderness would one day lead his team to death, yet he was faring better than I thought. A polar opposite to me. The ways I wanted to pursue but gave up because I was faced with my limitations. It might have upset me for a moment. A principle I could not follow, for I was not allowed to openly express sadness over the death of the few in order to protect the many; and my obligation to seize any chance of victory compelled me to march forward if there was something to count on. My capability wasn’t vast enough to embrace every member of the team. Was my choice wrong? What did he have that I did not? Looking back, I don’t think what I felt was envy or jealousy. The indignation certainly was not a toxic emotion. I’m sure each of us had different specialties.
It is said that people intersect with one another in some manner. I don’t think the process to be natural at all; I was not a believer of fateful meetings. After all, two parallel roads could never cross. A relationship begins with a desire to know. Simple curiosity. To know more about a person, or to go further and see what they are seeing together. People open up new roads to merge into the roads of others for various reasons.
I thought I would never care about him since he was so different from me, but my expectations weren’t quite right. I wanted to learn more about him, and I wanted to know what this emotion I felt was. And I thought I could perhaps become a better person if I saw what he was seeing together. If there’s one thing I realized, it’s that relationships between people always start from such small curiosity.
Taking in what I have said so far, you would think that this is such a peculiar and untruthful love. You might think it’s fussy. I cannot give out a clear answer, for I can’t dare define what love is. What could I say or add about an emotion I felt for the first time, one that I am still struggling to figure out? Furthermore, every person carries a different form of love. There will undoubtedly be some people who don’t place much importance on that emotion. You might even think that such emotion is absolutely useless in this City. Even if I were to define my love, this wouldn’t come across as a sweet story if you cannot understand it.
However, I can be certain that my sentiment towards Lowell was sincere. The so-called curiosity and sympathy… They bring about attention, admiration, and a little bit of obsession. I learned soon enough that this isn’t much different from what people call “love”. It may not have been something out of a fairy tale or a drama, but we still cherished each other in our little relationship. Perhaps I had been under the impression that love is a concept that is utterly distant from me. The love that I came into was cramped, yet big… and it felt burdensome at times.
You said I am strong, but the truth is that I was weak and fainthearted until the very last time I faced you. I have only grown so ironclad after I lost you. Why did I miss everything while you were still by my side? Why do I spend the whole night longing for you and regretting only after you have parted from me? I do have one regret regarding you: that I could not trust my feelings for you. That I was too afraid to tell you that you’re my everything the night before you left me.
Moments of loneliness will come as I live. It won’t be a thirsty longing for love, however. It is when I look to my side, yet there is no one next to me; when I am worn out from running somewhere; when I feel that my heart grows heavy rather than painful. Trying new things might let me forget it for a moment, but the memories will still follow me for life. When I feel such things, I can go back to familiarity. A familiar place, a familiar mind, a familiar person. And I plan to reunite with you soon. I want to tell you that I no longer have shame for the path I’ve chosen, and that I have finally freed myself from the guilt.



One hundred and ninety-three.
Would you please stay still~!
Don’t act like it’s anything new, this isn’t even the first time we’ve had a quarrel with the Thumb~ Your boss isn’t gonna make a big deal out of this, y’know~?
“Remove the limbs of all Thumb personnel still remaining in the Nest. And hang their bodies on skewers…” We’re simply carrying out our Prescript. No personal feelings are involved in this process.

…We only have one Prescript left to carry out now.
It’s quite a magnificent sight to see those limbless bodies make futile struggles with their fading consciousnesses.
Prescripts are just meant to be followed. It’s not a good idea to give extra meaning or have any sentiment for them…
I still don’t thank the Prescripts or anything.
I don’t believe we’re mutually hospitable enough to be having chats in such close proximity, now?
Hum, friends, no need to be so wary. I’m here to ask you a favor, Proxy Esther.
I was wondering if I could take those heaps of flesh on the skewers you prepared.
It looks like you’re done with your Prescript anyway. It never told you to keep them hanging forever, no?
I have no interest in learning what you’re trying to do, and I suggest you cut your antics short while you still can.
Is that so? I’m sure you’d like it once you heard it…
Pah, you’re right. He always dumps the tedious chores on us.
I know! This’ll make a perfect treat if I spread a mix of soy sauce and ground garlic on this and then grill it! What do you say, mixer face?
NEIIIGH~! BARK!! NEIGH!!!
Some appetite you’ve got there. They did a good job of chopping the meat into nice chunks, I’ll give them that; but the meat itself isn’t very high quality.
Easy, friends. We need them for other things. As long as you carry them all in mint condition… I’ll let you have two or three, maybe.


If you knew the Prescripts were fake, then why did you still declare war against the Thumb… And why are you about to dig your own grave by going into the Library?
I was ridden with guilt, but I forced myself to do it anyway. Because the Prescripts must be carried out!
I resented Prescripts; I feared them; I loathed them; I didn’t even want to look at them again; And then… a Prescript gave me the role of the Messenger. Delivering Prescripts… with my own hands? So I began making fake Prescripts. I thought I was showing my will for the first time with that act…

We’ll see soon enough. Although I’m not exactly thrilled to find out… By the way, Blue Sicko’s got more new members for his band of freaks, from the looks of it.
I’ve seen that wolfhead, but I… don’t think we’ve seen the other two before.
One of them seemed rather enthusiastic about cooking.
Do you have any guesses?
The Index… A Finger that acts strictly based on Prescripts. It’s curious how he forged false Prescripts, but it looks like the Prescripts anticipated that as well.
…Nothing, I was just having some thoughts for a moment.

I don’t believe that’s relevant right now.
…
BOO! Muahahaha!


Oho..! Just by putting it on, you can feel the raw emotion coursing through your entire body. The flames tickling the back of my mind… waiting to be unleashed with the right stimulus.
I like it.
Oh..? That was a nice speech just now.
It's the truth. Don't go taking away anything weird from it.



Remember not to go overboard, Tiphereth. This is as much a mission to gather information as it is to win.
Yeah, yeah… We need to investigate that thing, right?
Precisely. Not even Angela could fully determine the effects of Xiao's unique E.G.O. We'll be studying this fight to see what precisely it does.

Even with those blindfolds… They're all looking right at you, boss.
Chinely… you're not doing anything.

Speaking of, are you okay boss?
I'm… fine. This isn't much!
You sure? The music says you're behind.
That sounds like being behind.

Such emotions are pointless human sentiment! The most important part is victory at any cost.


…yeah. Once my emotions got fired up enough, the armor manifested itself. It looks like the incomplete form, though.





I'd say it's more a… "normal Chinely thing."



























You don't look too good either, you know!
You hearing this? It's like they don't care if they live or die…

























Hmm… You know, I do have a thing or two to say about performing tasks as they’re given.
As you pointed out, the Prescripts of the Index end up benefiting the Syndicate. That Prescript commanded them to eliminate all members of the Thumb in L Corp’s Nest. Right when an Underboss and his Capos have disappeared.
Whether that’s true or not, I don’t think you have to be so unnerved about ‘em, yeah? The Prescripts could be some grand entity or a big ball of nothing for all I know. Point is, there’s no need to pay too much attention to what they say. Even if everything I’ve been doing was actually done out of the City’s will and not mine, that doesn’t matter to me one bit since there’s no way for me to realize that.
Who knows? He might lead us to the full story behind the Prescripts.
Even then, we won’t get to see it if he isn’t our guest.
Hngh… Good point.

"Finally, she sprinkled cinnamon powder—her favorite—and clutched the pumpkin in her arms."
Honestly, I'm curious about what runs the Prescripts…











I’m the Weaver working here!
It’s so nice to see a guest after such a long time. Come on, now! Don’t be shy and step right in!
You were invited by the Prescript, right…?!

Shh.
Wrong! This isn’t a simple tremor. You’re feeling the heartbeat of the City.




In my opinion, that’d be the City itself. The pendulum inscribing patterns on the threads swings according to the City’s motions, like I said just before.





…As the City wills it.

It does seem like there are some beings out there that fit the description that Weaver person gave. I think I’ve seen something similar a few times, though I don’t know if that actually was one.




What in the hell?!
I don't think he cares. Swords up!
There wasn't any chance to review the data either…
Hold on… let me think here. Prescripts, prescripts… What's the prescript he's talking about now?
He said for us to "Receive the guest before you."

Hahaa..!
Excuse me! Dear guest!













It looks like he doesn't quite have control over those hands yet, sir.














































































I just took care of the problem as best as I could.
Yep. After all, this is the fate those Prescripts led him to.
It’s much easier said than done. They won’t truly realize what they’re talking about until they’re put in such a situation themselves.













So it's the prescript-loving blokes today, is it?
Given that they never know what sorts of prescripts they get, it makes sense that they'd be prepared for anything, right~?
Speaking of wildcards, this page from Yan is… we're testing it too, right?
Of course. It looks to have some kind of unique power like Xiao's, so now's the perfect time to test it.


One with an attachment to her pumpkin… It seems she must have been cursed.
I’m Ozma… A single person took everything away from me…







A problem? What's up?
Looks like things just got a little complicated~












































Well, at least we're done here… I can't say I feel too good about bullying a victim.





Not… the best, I think? My hair seems to be on the fritz.










What the hell was that contract about, then! You know breaking contracts and dropping your reputation means a death sentence for a Fixer like you, right?


Didn’t you receive the notice? The terms have long since changed.


It’s rather… romantic to be living in the so-called streets of music, too.




I know! I know that I have to stand this ground and try to make a living like the rest… even if I loathe this cursed world and this City!!! I can’t do anything about it… I can’t change this damned City alone. It’s just how things work. Knowing the truth or making up my mind won’t allow me to go against the flow.


So you know everything, do you..? Then tell me, what should I have done? What didn't I know to do?!































No matter how much I wish for it, I'll never find that warm heart again. I can only chop away at this ocean of trees.






















It would be possible to attempt, but the inherently less stable forms you Assistant Librarians have would likely not be able to hold together.







…Home… It's right there. I'm on my way, dear. I have that pajeon you wanted~!



































…But I'll be damned if I let anyone else steal another thing from me.




























Ah… you lot have traveled quite a distance to come to me. You must be unhappy with your place in life. Come, tell me your troubles.
























































































Oh, it's not just NatSci. They made a mess of Language, too.
And I helped. It's all done, nerds.
This was a really interesting idea, Seyser. But why..?
Bah… I liked you a lot better when you were just a box of steel.
…This teal-haired turd keeps rubbing coffee in my face. I don’t get what’s so good about a cup of bitter bean water.

What?
Maybe he doesn’t have any other excuses?
Forget it. In that case, I could just come up here with Tiphereth to hang out more often.


Man, really loving this well-dressed pirate vibe I've got going on.
Is that why you went with that page? You wanted a pegleg?
Just make sure you don't accidentally stomp down with that leg too hard and throw off your stance. The body'll do almost all the work… but if you're too gung-ho you'll fall flat on your face.
And why have you chosen the form you've taken, Talow?
We both know that the Smoke doesn't work that way.
Hold a moment, Morgan. We must consider our options carefully.
It was before your time… before mine, as well. That thing is The Price of Silence. An Abnormality so troublesome that it was sealed away before Ayin's plan began in earnest, lest it directly lead to countless Managers despairing and taking their own lives.
That very potential was why I drew upon its powers in my battle against the Manager.
Very well… It screws with time. Once the battle is joined, we will have to be quick and decisive.
The flowing time cannot be grasped, nor can the flow be stopped.




















































…
I don’t really feel like treating you nicely…
Both, I guess. I dislike both. I’m denied something of my own, then and now.


…Is he gone?
Finally. I was never any good with that guy.
Oh, you too..? I thought it was just me. Pass me another, eh?
Even then, I'm not sure it was "hide from him" worthy.

Hey, it’s not like we get to gather up like this often… Why don’t you guys have some drinks before you leave?
Oh, that so? Guess I should vamoose. Appreciate the drinks, Netzach. The story you told was interesting, too.

I'm heading out to check on Kaori again. I'll let you know if she's moved from that spot or not.
She certainly seems to be in higher spirits since she woke up, but she hasn't stopped poring over our pages and cackling to herself.
That's why we're doing the wellness checks, right? Not that T wouldn't tell us if anything was suddenly wrong with her in the first place…
True, but I think that proactivity is good when it comes to our mental health in this place.
I'll ask Switch to prepare you two some tea, then.



Praise be the Star!



































































There were no such problems.




Yes, ma’am.
Wanna bet which Myo will win?
I’m surprised you still aren’t sick of this. As much as I dislike that rabid hare… this is the one scene I don’t like to see.
We have to do this fuckery over more?
Stop whining, we’ve been through this many times already.
Let’s hurry up and decide the winner now.

I know that sufficient time and population are needed, but we cannot afford to wait any longer.
One day accelerated 100 times would be about three months.
Shit! Shit! Shit!!!
That’s about half of us dead.
Reminds you of the old days, doesn’t it?
The first time I killed me?
My hands were shaking like crazy…
Keep killing if you have the time to chat!
As per A Corp’s rules, no more than one of an individual may exist in the City for longer than 7 days, clone or original. If R Corp. violates this rule, it will lose its qualification as a Wing and will be shut down according to B Corp’s regulations. The “7 days” here is measured based on the time scale A Corp. is on.
Crap! I’ve been feeding on human meat for two months… And it’s my meat, too.
Better than living on it for one year straight.
Why do we have to kill each other, why?!
You still don’t get it? It’s to produce the fittest Myo.
Some still lose their minds like that even after killing many others. It’s odd how clones of the same person can act so differently.
You’re telling me, most of us are thrilled to kill people now.
Because killing was literally the only way to survive!
Because L Corp. went down so suddenly, we don’t have enough energy suppliers to meet the demands right now. W Corp. is apparently in emergency for the same reason.
I suppose so. I heard from the supreme commander that L Corp. was extraordinarily generous about its offer.
Mmhmm. Shocked that I had to kill myself…
But after killing myself again and again, it became as easy as breathing.
If I can kill myself with ease, what’s to stop me from killing others.
And the joy of being the last survivor was something else.
It was piss annoying to wake up every time with all the memories of struggling to survive, though.
It’s not the strong who survive… It’s the survivors who are strong.
Khh~ The legendary Red Mist rescues me like a hero in the Backstreets, says that, and leaves… Wasn’t it awesome?!
You bet it was.
Let’s get back to business and see who survives now.
I’ve been expecting that. There wouldn’t be any energy left to use for us.
No need to hesitate. This is our last fight, so let’s end this with no regret.
What?! Why the hell would you greet me?!
Aw, shit!
…Hey, you guys made another bet, didn’t you?!
By the way, Maxim! You’re paying for my drink too, right?
Hah… Alright, it’s payback time! Let’s wreck those librarians or some shit!

This atmosphere makes me feel as though we’re in the Ruins.
And we all died here once.
With what?
…So?
How is it possible that your mind hasn’t collapsed?

Heeeey, Miss Binah?
Speak.
So you are curious as to how a Wing is disbanded, are you? You should know by now, I do not have any such relevant memories left within me.
The by-laws of A or B Corp are so numerous it's hard to remember all of them regardless. There's the simple stuff like taxation and the ban on AI, but for weird cases like this…
That's why I dragged them over here! I sensed a relevant question happening.
You refer to the quantization. Very perceptive of you to have noticed.
The quantization. The way that people are turned into books.










Reindeer… prance all over them.
Attack diverted. Spear's a lightning rod. 














But we came here within a week of our original deaths…















Of course we are. Your guys beat us last time, so we're going to get our win back. Our survival depends on it, after all.















You got it. Your boys couldn't cut it either.









































I won't be giving you three a rousing speech. You already know the stakes. Move forward, and graze until the fields are barren.


































So this is it… I guess in the end, I wasn't strong.
…Gebura. You still listening?












Come on, you’re flattering me. You’re not the type to say such things.
Sorry, but I’m just not cut out for music.
Honestly, I thought you were little more than some deranged maniac until you came to me.
You were so quick about it, it’s almost obese at this point.
I was lonely, to tell you the truth. So painfully lonely. The loneliness born from the belief that we could never understand each other.
The two of you suffered terrible things at such a young age, so the bond between you both must’ve been even more special.

That light… I could almost touch it, but not quite snatch it…

Dunno. My guess is as good as yours. Maybe looking at you reminded me of my son…
…
…What’s your true motive in helping me?

That brain of yours you put to work was far inferior to my Thought Gears.
You’ve lost something precious to you… Surely you can understand us.
Aha! How about a snake show drenched in strawberry juice?! The fleshy fruit will make an explosive display!














Yes, it seems our paths have crossed once more. I take it you still seek without end?
She has been a Color since before my imprisonment. We were fated to become aware of one another in the course of our duties, much as two rivers may join and break apart once more as they run.
…I wonder… Who shall gain the upper hand this time?
We shall see if your estimate is an accurate one.


She is incredibly skilled, with more experience than any of you. Some of you may fall to her.








Some things are given time to age because they are effective. You understand this well, do you not?































































Ah… huh?!







I… don't follow.
























































