LP Beach

A plot? How unexpected.

Hell Comes to Frogtown

"Used to take everything seriously...then they blew it up."



Synopsis

The setup here is that a nuclear war that destroyed the world (introduced with the ironic phrase "a difference of opinion") which among other things caused a mutant race of frog people to be created. In a brief pre-credit sequence, we learn that the frog-men are not allowed to carry weapons, but have managed to get some guns anyway, as one of them kills a human.

We then meet Sam Hell (actual last name Hellman), a wanted criminal who is about to face some rough justice from the father of one of the women he sexually assaulted. However, two women from 'Medtech' show up and take him into custody. They've discovered that he is a virile male, one of the few remaining in the world. Instead of going to prison, he is forced into service for Medtech. It is a military organization (run by women, it seems) that is charged with ensuring the continuance of the human race; fertility is highly prized and getting pregnant is seen as a patriotic duty.

To keep Sam from running, a chastity belt of sorts is placed on him to monitor him, and control of it is given to Spangle, the officer who is now in charge of Sam. Their mission is to rescue a group of fertile women who have been captured by a frog commander named Toty in Frogtown, a place few humans apparently go to voluntarily. Sam's job will be to impregnate the women once they are rescued. They leave together with one other soldier, Corporal Centinella, who drives the car and crews its machine gun.

Along the way they encounter a woman running through the desert in the middle of the night. She doesn't speak, but when Spangle discovers through a scan that she's not sterile, she induces ovulation in the woman and orders Sam to impregnate her. Sam initially balks at the idea, so an exasperated Spangle attempts to inspire him using her "training in seduction techniques". When Sam eventually "does his part" and the woman is safely a mother, she's released and told she's now a "national hero".

As they get close to Frogtown, Spangle has Sam put a chain on her so she can show up as his prisoner and not be taken by anyone else in the city, since his belt will self-destruct if he is separated too far from her. Centinella stays back and the two go into the city. They enter a bar where most of the patrons are frog people. Inside, Sam runs into an old (human) friend of his, Looney Tunes (real name: Lonnie O'Toole) who says he has discovered a uranium deposit to mine. The frog dancer at the bar also gives them the password indicating that she is their inside contact with Toty.

Sam and Spangle find out from one of the frog-men that it was 'Bull' who had captured the women for Toty, an act which earned Bull a promotion. There is then an attempt to purchase Spangle as a slave from Sam. Sam seems to be avoiding having to go through with it, until Bull himself shows up and forcibly auctions her to himself, since no one is willing to upset him or Toty. Arabella, the frog dancer, rescues Sam and tells him that Spangle has been taken to Toty's harem.

Arabella then throws herself at Sam, but Sam's belt starts to beep since Spangle is being moved and they have to move quickly. Sam finds Spangle just as she's being presented to Toty. Toty also talks to a man named Count Sodom, who tells him another shipment is coming soon. Sam accidentally reveals himself, and ends up getting captured.



Spangle wakes up and finds that the other women who were taken are around her, performing some sort of ritual on her on orders from Commander Toty. She reveals herself and they tell her that she needs to have 'passion' in order to survive the 'Dance of the Three Snakes', to which two of their companions have already been lost. She wants to fight her way out, but is unable to overpower the frog who takes her to see Toty.

Arabella arrives to rescue Sam, but is killed by one of the frog guards, who Sam then dispatches with a hand drill. Although he could now leave (one of the frog guards cut off his chastity device, which did explode afterward), Arabella's sacrifice fills him with resolve to actually do the right thing. At the same time, Looney Tunes is discovered by a frog patrolling the streets and fires off the signal flare that will bring Centinella in.

Spangle is presented to Toty and force to dance for him; if she does not please him she will be killed. She does her best to 'remember her passion'. She is sufficiently seductive, and Toty calls her to him, but she kicks him as soon as she gets close enough. Toty is likely about to have her killed when Sam shows up and kills Toty's bodyguards. Toty leaps away and Sam and Spangle fight their way out (mostly it's Spangle that does the fighting).

Centinella arrives and the hostages are all freed. In the fighting to get out of Frogtown, Looney Tunes is fatally wounded. Toty pursues them in an armored car with a tank gun mounted on it. They lose him up in a rocky hilly area, but are stopped by Count Sodom, who is armed with an RPG aimed at their car.

Count Sodom reveals himself to be the man who had originally captured Sam -- Devlin. He is upset that the government (particularly Medtech) is run by women, and wants to destroy the world again. He's been trading guns to the frog people in exchange for uranium, which he is having processed by rogue scientists in a plot to develop a nuclear bomb. He pulls out a gun and is about to shoot Sam when one of the girls loosens a sword on Sam's back and he throws it straight at Sodom. Sam retrieves Sodom's gun; Sodom shows himself to still be alive so Sam is forced to shoot him. Sam then takes the RPG launcher.

He heads back to the car and before he arrives hears an explosion. He finds the car wrecked by a shot from Toty, and thinks everyone inside has died. Toty drives up and starts to celebrate his triumph, but Sam appears from behind a bush with the RPG. He tells everyone else besides Toty to run off, and plans to blow both of them up by firing off the RPG. However, it turns out to be a dud. Sam then engages in melee combat with Toty, finally kicking him off the cliff.

It turns out that the women had just been hiding, and they are all safe and sound. Sam and Spangle finally confess their mutual affection, although Spangle reminds Sam that he first has duty to perform, and impregnate the 'fertiles'.



This film seems like a perfect example of 'tongue-in-cheek' because it never quite gets too hammy but never really drops the lighthearted mood. The acting is always cheesy so it doesn't matter if it isn't all that great. That said, a fair amount of the movie is put together well. It is surprisingly well-plotted, even if it is simplistic and intentionally over-the-top. Most of the plot elements work and nothing feels nonsensical even if the world is outlandish. The production design is also quite good, from the sets to the nicely detailed frog-people costumes.

While this is an exploitation movie, it is in some ways undercutting that effort. Even if it's only in a half-serious "nice problem to have" way, Sam does come off as somewhat reluctant to be required to engage in so much sexual activity. There's also a certain alienation that results from Spangle saying that she's 'trained' in seduction; it highlights the fact that anyone displaying their body is just doing it because it's some sort of job requirement, not because they are trying to entertain or enjoying it. We know that it's all a show, and there were times I almost didn't realize just how much skin was being shown on-screen because it kind of just fits with the plot. It is still a film where women's bodies are being shown off and the sexual prowess of the protagonist is constantly hyped, but it does at least some of the work to make it less crass than it could have been.



I don't blame anyone for finding the sexual politics and other aspects of the movie just bizarre and potentially off-putting. It could be extremely difficult to sympathize with a man who, according to the opening sequence, is probably a rapist (even if that detail is somewhat glossed over and he never really acts that way in the film). The frog people are uncomfortably depicted as an oppressed and exploited underclass. While that does seem to be a slight criticism of how the humans have treated them, it's not given much examination, making it feel like another muted voice and potentially a minimization of the real-world analogous problems. There is also the peculiar valorization of pregnancy, even when forcibly administered. However much that seems to fit in with the world as it's designed, it can't help but seem out of place. To be fair, it is slightly better that this is occurring in a female-led society than as a rule imposed by men (and the one man who hates that 'women run too many things' is an irredeemable villain). On the whole, these things are not overly damaging to the film as it is, but could be distracting since they are more serious issues than the movie lets them be.

This film is entertaining in spite of some of those weird bits. They almost give it a bit more charm, since they reveal that there was more thought put into this than just making another cheap post-apocalyptic exploitation movie. I'm not sure it comes off in the end as entirely charming (Roddy Piper as Sam is quite likable, but that's just him) but it at least has character. Even if it is a character with some rough edges, those are presented in a way that allows you to question them (or ignore them if you really don't care), and it's entirely possible to enjoy it for the fun parts.

Connections to Roadwar 2000



While most of the movie is about the strange world in which humans and sentient mutated frogs are contending with each other in a blasted wasteland world, there are still some connections that can be found with the relatively mundane fighting world of Roadwar. There is actually a bit of vehicular combat, influenced mostly by the Road Warrior, but these cars are outfitted, in a somewhat realistic touch, with more military-grade hardware. A big front-mounted tank weapon is something that would have been pretty fun to have in Roadwar, though it'd probably alter the way combat works a bit too much to do so.

The other point where this film matches things in the game is that there is some sort of remnant/provisional government with broad powers but not a broad reach. The GUB in the game is as good as a government as we get, but as we'll see very shortly it cannot do much on its own, and has to enlist ordinary citizens, even if they are criminals. Sam is even someone who'd probably be fairly comfortable having a gang to run with, and the tone of this film is reasonably close to the slightly cheesy tone of the game's story as well.

Kibayasu wrote: ↑

Thu Dec 31, 2020 6:21 am

A plot? How unexpected.

Just to look at what it's taken to get to this point: You have to build up your gang enough to survive, which is probably something most players will do. Then you have to actually take over multiple cities. It's possible to do that without a lot of fighting if you're willing to travel around and find the unclaimed ones, but of course traveling city to city is not easy either. Then hope that by random chance you get the GUB contact (I believe the password/location is always one city to the next, but you have to look for 'people' in both). Once you finally make it to the GUB's city, you actually have to search again for people until it pops up.

The only guide you get is the vague hints in the journal entries. It's no surprise that a lot of people never got this far. In fairness, the bulk of the game isn't in the plot, it's in the combat and gang-building. The plot doesn't even add much other than a goal and a final end state.

I figured as much. Considering how fast a game seems to be able to decline its seems just as likely that even if you do get the first part you'd lose before getting to the second, and unlike a rogue-lite of today it isn't anywhere near as fast to get back to the same point.

Florida Man Teams Up With Army Ranger

With Elpida nudging him, Florida Man stepped forward. "I guess we'll have to accept."

Herrell gave a slight sigh of relief. "Good. Now, let's head into my office where I can brief you."

The guards dropped their guns to the side and moved away from the Gatormobile. Another two guards appeared from the hall behind Herrell; one took a position behind Florida Man, Cecile, and Elpida, and the other stayed at Herrell's side. The group then proceeded down the metal-lined hallway. After passing numerous doors, they stopped at one on the right side labeled "Director's Office".

As Herrell unlocked the door and the guards moved to positions in the hallway opposite the doorway, Florida Man spoke up. "So where are we right now, anyway?"

Herrell responded, "Well, you came in through the Ruston tunnel, right? You're under Tacoma right now. Technically, we're under University Place," he added.

"Oh, I see. So you can use the university to help you with the research?"

"Well, there's no actual university up there," said Herrell, a bit flustered as he opened the door and led them into the room. "Anyway, we need to get down to business. Have a seat. We at the GUB need help, and you've shown that you might be the right people for the job."



When Herrell finished explaining the situation, Florida Man sat for a few seconds lost in thought. Then he said, "So you need... The Gator Goons?"

Herrell replied half in thought, "Yes, that is what you call yourselves, then? Yes. The Gator Goons. It crushes me to think of what has to be done, but right now only the powerful gangs are able to undertake the trip around the country that will be necessary to retrieve our scientists."

Elpida questioned him, "What is being done to restore the government? Do you have any contact with the President?"

Herrell replied, "I can't comment on the President. No one knows his status for sure. But we don't expect that order can be restored until we can stop the pandemic. That's the job of the G.U.B., and we may be the last best hope for the country. If we can't stop the plague, then there's no point in having a government, is there?"

Florida Man said, "I have another question. What can you tell me about the" — and his voice dropped a bit lower — " Invaders?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. Probably Russians, I would bet. Too well-trained to be some terrorist group. Yes, I know you'll probably encounter some of their squads out there, but you've proven yourselves to be tough so far. They said you took Syracuse, right? Anyway, we don't get many reports on the military situation here. The soldiers from Fort Lewis do a good job keeping us safe and secret. They might know more. But now, I must tell you, time is of the essence. We need you out on the road. It's going to be winter soon, and mountain travel's going to get tough. I hope you can make some headway before the snow comes."

Welcome to the 'plot'. The vague hints in the director's journal are the only hint to get you to this point. Now we have an actual goal, however: Find the specialists and return them to the GUB.



With the briefing concluded, the three returned back to the gang later that morning. Florida Man filled in a few of the higher-ranking members on the details. He made the offer that nobody was required to stay; they could leave at any time. But he thought it might be the right thing to do to help out the GUB.

Dr. Kassabian asked, "Where do we start? What's the first stop?"

Florida Man said, "I don't know, but maybe if we gotta look everywhere, why not head on down to Florida? I bet one of these scientists will be somewhere on the way, or down there already."

Cecile spoke up, saying, "Hey, you know, I actually would like to see Vancouver while we're here. It's not far, and then we can head out somewhere else..."

Florida Man pursed his lips, thought for a moment, and then smiled. "Sure thing. And Cecile, why don't you ride in the Gatormobile for now. I think it'd be safer."



The ride up to Vancouver was uneventful; the gang bypassed Seattle entirely and upon reaching the Canadian border, had no trouble crossing. The guards seemed a lot friendlier here, and Florida Man's GUB ID gave them the impression he was actually on an important mission. Vancouver itself was a peaceful city, clean, and there was little sign that the pandemic and subsequent chaos in the US had affected them.



The next day, a dark-haired man in his late thirties approached the gang. At first they wondered if he was a new doctor about to make an offer to join up with them, but when he told them his name, Elpida immediately recognized it as one of the team from the GUB. They promised they'd take him back to the lab immediately.



Just after crossing the border, the gang stopped for a break down at the shoreline. There was a wide rocky beach where they could relax, and the pleasant late-summer sun was warm and relaxing. As Florida Man wandered for a short walk on his own up the beach, a dog padded towards him. It was a light brown in color, with a lean body and a scruffy muzzle. It had an old, half-soaked newspaper in its mouth.

"Well hey there, fella," said Florida Man as the dog continued to approach. It dropped the newspaper in front of him.

"What's this? Must be someone's old news." Florida Man absently scanned the articles. "Army Ranger Simms Mounts Bid For—" The dog barked.

Florida Man smiled. "What, Army Ranger Simms? You know the dude?"

The dog made no noise, and just walked in a short circle, as if searching around for something on the ground.

"Well, hmm, wonder if there's any other news here. 'Man From Florida Claims He's An Alien', well, I hope that's not true." He looked again at the dog. "Now where'd you come from, anyway? Walking around with newspapers?"

The dog stopped looking and barked again.

"You looking for someone? I bet you're hungry. Let me see, I think I got something here." Florida Man pulled a strip of gator jerky from his pocket. He'd made it back at his home, and although he didn't really like to eat it that much, it reminded him of earlier times.

The dog approached him expectantly. Florida Man looked down at the jerky. "Well, I guess I wasn't going to eat this anyway. Here, have some." He tore off a strip and tossed it on the ground. The dog eagerly scooped it up and chewed it for a while, as if uncertain of what it was, but finally swallowed it. Then he barked again.

"You want more?" Florida Man stripped off another small piece and held it out. The dog came close, sniffed it, and then took the scrap in its mouth. "Well, come on, Army Ranger Simms or whoever you are. Wanna come back with us?"

Florida Man turned and walked back down the beach. The dog followed along. When he returned to the group, he told them the dog's name was "Army Ranger Simms" and that's what stuck. Dr. Kassabian told him the dog was a lurcher, and added, "You don't see too many of them in the US. Wonder where he came from?"



Upon arrival in Tacoma, Florida Man took off with Pintero, Cecile, and Army Ranger Simms in the Gatormobile down to the hidden tunnel entrance. When they stopped the car, Florida Man honked the horn to show his presence. The voice asked the question, "What's the first page of the road combat rules?"

Florida Man said smugly, "I got this the answer is Christma- wait, what? Did they change it? What combat rules?"

Cecile responded, "Did they give you some sort of guidelines for being out here? I bet it's some military rules of engagement thingy."

Pintero interjected, "I think I know this. We had a set of rules, covers every... eventuality." He called out to the voice, "It's page 12, open up!"

The tunnel opened and they drove on toward the lab's entrance. "Weird that I know that so well, huh," said Pintero off-handedly.

Director Herrell greeted them again at the end of the tunnel. "Back already? Who's that with you this time -- ah, Pablo!" He turned in amazement to Florida Man. "How did you find Pablo so quickly? He had to be hundreds of miles away by now."

Pintero responded, "Well, I started out in Canada. Worked my way westward. Last few months I've been in Vancouver. It's pretty nice there."

Herrell seemed a bit shocked. "Didn't you hear from any of our agents? That's right near by, you must have known it was time to return."

Pedro Pintero shrugged. "I heard rumors, but nothing definite. Figured if you really needed me back down here someone would come to get me. When this guy crossed the border one of the agents came to notify me right away. Well, who else is back inside?"

Herrell wiped his brow. "You're the first, really. But come on, let's get your data downloaded." To Florida Man he nodded and said, "Thanks. But you've got to keep looking. The rest of them are out there. Try to find a few at a time if you can."

Army Ranger Simms barked, as if agreeing that this was a good idea. Florida Man chuckled and drove back down the tunnel.



With a successful operation for the GUB under their belt, the Gator Goons headed south down the freeway to Oregon. As they approached the Columbia River, scouts were sent out to determine the status of the city of Portland. Upon discovering that it'd been taken over by the Invaders, the Goons just drove on around the city without even bothering to stop.



They made it to Salem, the sometime capital of the state, just a few hours later. Almost immediately, they found themselves under attack. It wasn't clear if it was a small unit of the Invader army or just some local militia that had taken over the capitol building. Fortunately the fighting was over quickly. Afterward, the Gator Goons realized that it was up to them to assume control of the city. Jack pointed out that this city, along with Spokane, would make for good safe stops on the last leg of a trip back to the GUB, in case there was any trouble on the way.



A brief trip to Springfield, a short ways south of Salem, revealed that it, too, was solidly in the hands of the Invaders. The gang returned to Salem, and Florida Man made sure to install a new city government that was authorized to protect the town and keep the state capitol building secure.



There'd been some gradual losses in the minor skirmishes and scouting missions. An appeal was sent out to the locals in Salem to join the gang if they wanted to see more of the country. A lot of people showed up, although hardly any of them displayed any fighting skill to speak of.



Nevertheless, the Goons needed the numbers. A few days later, they were on the highway westward. Florida Man intended to head down to Florida, but figured if he had to look for these other GUB scientists, the gang should make its way through as many cities as possible.



They were somewhere around the small town of Pendleton, in eastern Oregon, when they were attacked by a renegade militia group. Florida Man offered to let Cecile get into the Gatormobile, but took one look at Army Ranger Simms sitting in the front seat and said she'd rather get back in the trailer truck.



It didn't look to be part of any official military unit; just some overdressed backwoods anti-government group that was riding around in two beat-up Plymouth station wagons and an old Ford Escort.



The militia men seemed to be in a drunken rage and veered all over the highway median in a path the Freightliner found hard to avoid.



Some of the men on top of the Ford tried to make their way up onto the Mack truck, but it did not take long to kick them off.



After the first wagon had slammed into the Freightliner, the rest of the gang made sure to give the other vehicles a wide berth. It didn't take long before the Ford Escort was surrounded and all inhabitants shot dead.



That left only the other wagon. With Cecile directing another broadside from the Frieghtliner, it was rapidly driven off and the Gator Goons were victorious.

Florida Man noted that Army Ranger Simms had been moaning during the firefight, and gently patted his head to calm him down.



There was some concern that similar groups might be trying to attack them again, but the group had to at least stop to make what fixes they could on the tires.



Fortunately everyone seemed to steer clear of them. Four days after they'd left Salem, they were in Idaho, at the town of Boise.



Once news that a new gang had arrived spread through the town, a shifty looking man in a black sweatshirt showed up at the Gator Goons' camp. He said he had news, if they really were the 'right people'. Once Florida Man flashed the GUB ID, the agent revealed information he'd gathered on Alec Trotier, one of the scientists. He only knew the general region of the doctor, and as a left he told them he was leaving the mountains before the weather got worse, and suggested that they ought to do the same.



Boise actually was in better shape than the gang had expected; it seemed the ravages of the disease hadn't affected them so much, and the war had kind of passed them by.



Nevertheless, the group was on a mission, and it wasn't worth it to spend any more time than was necessary in the sparsely-populated mountain towns.



An incident free-trip down into the Great Basin allowed the gang to make it to Salt Lake City in only a couple of more days.



They discovered to their surprise that the city, once the center of the Mormon faith, had been all but abandoned. The LDS church's larger operations had apparently folded, and only a small remnant remained to keep the temple in operation. None of them had any interest in taking over the city government. But Florida Man didn't see a need to take the city, either. Jack said it might be nice to ensure a safe outpost here in the middle of the West, and Elpida said she was inclined to agree, but neither of them really seemed to press the point. Salt Lake City would remain in the hands of nobody.


This week's film: Def-Con 4

Def-Con 4

"You think I'm ruthless because I wanna be. It's the only way to administer limited resources in an unstable situation, can't you see that?"



Synopsis

There's a title card indicating that new defense systems mean nuclear war is not possible, and then we start on an orbiting spacecraft over a year into its long-term mission. It seems the three astronauts onboard can only get occasional messages from their loved ones, and two-way communication is for some reason disallowed. They then watch with mounting dismay as international relations spiral out of control, and nuclear war becomes imminent. We then discover that they are in fact part of the 'defense' system and are actually responsible for sending space-launched missiles. They start to observe launches and detonations on the ground. Two of the three decide they should hold off their launch because they did not receive the proper authorization indicating that DEFCON 1 was reached (despite the title, their last orders seem to indicate DEFCON 2) and the world explodes into violence below them.

After two months, the crew debates whether to return to the surface, as they've received no orders. One of them, Howe, who seems to be the main technical officer, has reason to believe his wife is alive. The crew's doctor, Jordan, doesn't have anyone to go back to but seems to favor landing rather than staying up in space. The commander, Walker, overrules them both and decides to stay. However, their hand is forced when a message comes in that takes control of the control computer and forces them to de-orbit. Before doing so, they must arm and discharge their payload. They do so, although one bomb (armed to detonate in 60 hours) gets stuck.

They crash on a beach (as we later discover, somewhere in the Maritimes in Canada). Jordan is injured and unconscious, and the hatch is buried in sand. Howe and Walker start to dig their way out when they hear tapping and knocking coming from outside. As soon as they get part of the way out, Walker is grabbed and apparently eaten by whoever (or whatever) is outside of the vessel. Howe sneaks out at night and leaves a message for Jordan that he'll try to get help.

Howe eventually discovers the cannibals; he escapes from them only to be caught in a trap set by a large man named Vinnie. He promises to Vinnie that he'll share the supplies of food on his ship. Vinnie is unwilling to make any sort of deal other than just taking his food and allowing the cannibals to get Howe afterward.

While Vinnie goes out to check on some of his traps, a woman being held prisoner in the basement pops up to scavenge from Vinnie's stores of food. She isn't willing to untie Howe until he mentions he has food; she makes a deal that if he gives her half his food, she'll lead him to a boat. The are about to get away when Vinnie returns. Vinnie is about to simply kill Howe, but when Howe mentions Jordan, Vinnie is suddenly interested in taking her as well, so he makes a deal with Howe.

Howe and Vinnie leave with the captive woman, whose name is 'JJ' (Jacquelyn Jameson), in Vinnie's armored bulldozer. On the way, they fight off some people JJ calls 'terminals'. At the beach, Vinnie ties a rope to JJ and tells her to scout for the crashed ship. At that point, another man who knows Vinnie shows up. Vinnie immediately buttons up and tries to escape, but the man's gang attaches chains to his vehicle and then get him to bail out by throwing in a fake grenade.

All three are taken back to a slave camp, which they discover is run by a young man named Gideon. He's an affable dictator, sort of a spoiled trust-fund type. Initially he seems interested in Howe, but then his lieutenant, Lacey (the man who captured them), reports that they've found the ship already. Howe is thrown into a pit in the ground.

In the pit, Howe discovers that Jordan has also been captured, and is being held in an adjacent pit with JJ. JJ explains that Gideon is actually her boyfriend ('ex', she says now) and that after the war started, she was taken along with Gideon and his parents in a Navy helicopter. With them was some strange satellite equipment and a man named Boomer, some sort of computer expert. She's pretty sure Boomer is the one responsible for bringing down the ship from space.

Boomer, it turns out, is now being held prisoner by Gideon. He's trying to force the computer password out of him so he can locate the 'survival stations' that he might be able to sail to. Gideon taunts the starving Boomer with food; Boomer says he has nothing to live for anyway and gives up the password. Gideon does give him the food, but not before stamping it into the dirt.

Gideon brings in JJ and offers to take her back, and then leave with him to the survival station. She refuses him; he sends her back into the hole and announces that there will be a 'trial' in the morning.

The trial the next day is of course a farce of justice. Gideon presents himself as judge; he accuses the two astronauts of participation in the nuclear war, JJ of 'treason', and Vinnie of crimes too well-known to enumerate. The assembled crowd stands as the jury, but naturally not a single person is willing to stand up against the obvious intentions of Gideon, and all are found guilty.



The condemned are taken to a scaffolding and nooses are placed on their necks. Gideon declares that he is feeling 'generous' and will pardon one of them on the condition that they pull the lever to hang the others. After some deliberation, Howe steps forward (though it's clear that he's only doing so to buy time). He's led to the lever with guns pointed at his head. However, just then, Boomer, who's managed to crawl his way out of the room where Gideon had left him, finds a gun and shoots Gideon. In the confusion Howe escapes from the camp, although the others remain.

Gideon is alive but injured, so they bring Jordan down to take care of him. She forces him to call off the hangings if she helps him. She tends to his wound, and he reveals that he plans to have Vinnie and JJ killed anyway. He then asks for a shot of painkiller. She tries to inject him with a lethal dose of potassium; he is aware of the ruse immediately and manages to turn the tables and inject her instead.

As Gideon and a few of his closest cronies prepare to depart, JJ is brought to him for one last chance to be 'forgiven'. Vinnie is taken out of his hole and led to a wall to be shot by a firing squad. Howe, meanwhile, has retrieved a rifle from Vinnie's house and killed the guards at the sailboat. He then gets Vinnie's bulldozer out and saves Vinnie's life. The two grab as many guns as they can and distribute them to the people in the camp, who start an uprising.

Vinnie and Howe get to Gideon's office to discover that he's left already. They drive off in the bulldozer to catch the sailboat, but get there just as it is leaving. At the camp, we see that the uprising is being put down in a brutal fashion. On board the ship, Gideon gathers the guns from all his guards on board, including Lacey. He then shoots everyone but Lacey (and JJ).

Howe is able to swim out to the ship and signals to JJ, who throws him a rope. He gets on board and tosses Lacey off the ship. He threatens Gideon, but Gideon grabs JJ and starts to cut her throat. Howe jumps back off the ship, but continues to fight and as he fires off his gun at Gideon, JJ pulls the yardarm and knocks Gideon overboard.

Gideon and Lacey arrive back at the camp to discover the massacred bodies of the civilians. Just as they enter the camp, Gideon notices the warhead in the spaceship, and asks, "Shouldn't all those be empty?" Seconds later, the camp erupts in a mushroom cloud as we see the sailboat heading off to safety.



This starts out almost as a tense nuclear-war drama, with all the scenes on the spaceship played fairly straight, but eventually turns into a sort of darkly comic (or maybe horrific) action film that fits more in with the typical post-apocalyptic fare. There's an over-the-top quality to a lot of it combined with a realist style, mixed with a low-budget Canuxploitation sensibility that gives it a dark edge. It's fairly messy, but reasonably well-made within its own constraints.

Most of the drama never quite lands due to somewhat uneven acting; almost everyone aside from Maury Chaykin as Vinnie is overacting a bit (even Chaykin gets there at some points but he has a marvelously understated creepiness a lot of the time). The humor is maybe too dry to make it enjoyable for that alone. The one thing that it really does well is induce a sense of discomfort in the audience, especially the horror of living at the whims of an unpredictable dictator.

Many post-apocalyptic films will use the setting to showcase the darker side of human exploitation, and just how quickly some people will resort to violence when society has broken down. What this film really does well is explore just what it is like to feel that oppression, especially when the people who hold power are capricious and terrifyingly strong. Initially Vinnie seems like he's going to be the main villain, as he intimidates the weak-willed Howe by flatly refusing to make a deal and casually brokers a deal with him to take Jordan captive, as if Howe somehow has control of her. But once Gideon shows up, we find that the protagonists are in a much more desperate situation. There are constant details that reinforce the sense of desperation people might feel in this world. There's constant degradation of the prisoners by the guards, the enthusiasm of the 'jury' to see an execution, and even the ways in which Gideon talks on a pretended equal level to the people he has bound and unable to escape (like Boomer). Even if some of these elements are intended for shock value, the net effect of living under an unstable regime is palpable.

There are a fair number of plot elements that just don't make much sense (like why the missiles have to be armed to jettison them) but the film moves smoothly enough past those hiccoughs that most of them can be forgiven. Sometimes the information is revealed in a realistic manner that requires a bit more effort and could have been done better, such as when Jordan 'poisons' Gideon, and we only see her dead body much later. It's not really a comedy, but there are fairly dry, ironic bits of humor that can be found (such as when the final text says "Mankind can now rest in peace"). There's also some outright weirdness, like Howe's sister sending a message asking if he's "getting any" right in front of his wife. Those points actually kind of increase the whole sense of discomfort that develops throughout the film, and make some of the shocking parts work a bit better because of the generally uneasy mood.

While I'm not entirely sure this is a good film, it certainly surprised me. It seems to be billed as more of a 'survival in the wasteland' movie, but the parts in space last a good twenty minutes. Indeed, the 'wasteland' isn't really one, just a part of Canada that seems relatively untouched by the war itself, aside from the dwindling supplies. The dark tone (near the end we see bodies piled up in scenes reminiscent of genocides) was also unexpected. I think perhaps I would have wanted to see a slightly more polished effort, given what it's going for.



Connections to Roadwar 2000

While the game doesn't have a nuclear exchange on the level shown here, the situation depicted actually fits the world of Roadwar reasonably well. With Defcon-4 there are pockets of functioning groups of people, and enough supplies to live by scavenging, but the breakdown of the global economy is causing them to be isolated and violent. There's only one vehicle in the film (Vinnie's armored one), and not much combat other than when Howe and Vinnie first break out, followed by the failed uprising. Most of these outcomes actually seem much more realistic than anything in the game, of course, and the tone of the film is appropriately depressing. The film also seems to be decently depicting what such a world might look like, since it's fairly dirty and gross but most people haven't really started dressing in weird outfits (though some clearly no longer care about fashion). The world of Roadwar is of course a bit more stylized, but this is kind of a peek at what such a situation might really start to resemble. To be fair, in Roadwar there seems to be at least some semblance of the previous economy, but it's one that for the moment is only ruled by force instead of any sort of functioning government.

Wakkerdis wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 12, 2021 6:59 am

The ride up to Vancouver was uneventful; the gang bypassed Seattle entirely and upon reaching the Canadian border, had no trouble crossing. The guards seemed a lot friendlier here, and Florida Man's GUB ID gave them the impression he was actually on an important mission. Vancouver itself was a peaceful city, clean, and there was little sign that the pandemic and subsequent chaos in the US had affected them.

Getting political in here

Def-Con 4 is a strange movie for me because for the longest time that opening scene seeing the bombs go off from the satellite cameras was just one of those things my brain never forgot and kept reminding me of. I'd normally account for this by it being something a young kid shouldn't have watched on a Canadian TV channel's sci-fi movie night but I figured I would have remembered the hand dropping back into the hatch door as well. But no, just the nuclear war scene.

I think during the Cold War that scene would have hit a lot harder; it was still pretty tense for me since it wasn't clear what tone the movie was going for. The cities are just kind of casually blown off the map. The cannibals didn't really bother me (especially as it's one of the goofier moments, really), but the shooting at the camp was really jarring, even when I watched it a second time.

Wasn't really being deliberately political with that, but it's hard to avoid sometimes. I just wanted to have a different feel to certain locations. Politics is unavoidable. I just decided to switch which movie I'm going for this week because about ten minutes in, there's a person on the TV with an American flag behind him saying, "The White army needs to take back America from the foreigners" and he's appealing to disaffected young men who lack opportunity because there was an economic crash. I could not take it. We'll get to it, probably Prayer of the Rollerboys; just not this week.

Florida Man Unearths Military Relic




Salt Lake City was a decent place to rest for a day or two. Since there were a lot of people wanting to get out of the town, the gang was able to increase its numbers. Jack and Cecile noted that it was still pretty unfortunate that so many of them were not actually ready for combat, and were destined to become casualties.



The Gator Goons headed down the road to Provo to see if there was anything of greater interest there, or perhaps any news on the GUB scientists. They found the town to be a lot more closed-off than Salt Lake. Most of the citizens there had decided to just barricade themselves in their homes and ride out the apocalypse, and were having no dealings with people from other parts of the country.



After a couple more days resting up, the gang headed out into the Wasatch Range. People in the city had told them it wouldn't be long before it would drop below freezing at night. Florida Man really wanted to get through the Rockies before that happened.



On the high winding roads in western Colorado, the gang encountered a small patrol of another so-called 'militia' group. When they approached the two vehicles, they could hear them radioing desperately for backup. The goons would need to take them out quickly.



The Gator Goons nevertheless approached a bit cautiously, as they were aware of the old tactic of the Furies, which meant ramming a vehicle in the hopes that later reinforcements could finish it off.



It nevertheless seemed as if the Freightliner was destined to take another blow from a smaller vehicle colliding with it.



But the driver was at this point well-experienced with what her truck could do, and swerved easily past the enemy car. Cecile directed a blast out the back that took out the small convertible.



Unfortunately, that only led to an actual collision, as moments later the other car, knowing it was doomed, rammed itself straight into the side of the trailer.



Losses were light, although the damage was significant enough that they would need to stop for repairs in whatever city they encountered next.



They weren't out of the mountains yet. A rowdy gang of cannibals drove up in three small cars. Dr. Kassabian observed, "You just find these crazy types everywhere, don't you?"



Florida Man led a charge to engage them at close range. He blasted away with the shotgun while Army Ranger Simms tried to dive under the seat. Florida Man called out, "It's okay boy, this'll be over soon!"



The battle was, indeed, handled quickly, as the Mack truck polished off the few of the crazed human vermin who persisted in the assault. Unfortunately one of the Cannibals' cars managed to smack the front end of the Gatormobile, leaving an unsightly dent.



Just a few days after they'd left Salt Lake City, they made it to Denver, on the eastern slope of the Rockies. They found that one of the local crime families had seized power.



While searching for repair garages, the group stumbled upon what they initially thought was an abandoned bus in the parking lot. It was painted bright green and had a picture of a smiling turtle on the side. When they tried to force open the doors, however, they saw motion inside and someone shouted, "Hey, hey, I'll open up, hold your horses, people." A disheveled-looking man in a tattered bathrobe came to the front and unlocked the door. He had a patch of curly white hair on his head and peered out from the bus's door with reddened eyes.

"Hey, if you're looking for a ride, sorry, we had to shut down. You want anything else, you won't get much food from me. Don't have much as it is."

Florida Man was called over to talk to the man, whose name was Harold. He said that he'd been helping people travel around the country to get to their homes, but as the roads became less safe and fuel became harder to come by, it wasn't really possible to travel out there.

Elpida asked him, "So what do you do now?"

Harold said, "I guess I've just been living in here. It's pretty comfortable. Sometimes I let people stay inside, but you do gotta be careful sometimes."

Elpida responded, "I think we can make an arrangement here. If your vehicle is working, we could use you." She paused for a moment. "There might be difficulties out on the road. Sometimes we encounter... hostile parties."

The man lifted his hands uncertainly. "I don't know man, not sure I want to deal with that. Seems safer here."

Elpida smiled slightly, and said, "What will you do here? Are you going to just roll around Denver all day? I think the mafia will get you before too long."

Harold suddenly looked worried. "Wait, mafia? What would they be doing here?"

Florida Man answered, "They own this town, didn't you know, man?"

Harold hesitated for a second, and then looked at the rest of the gang. Then he said, "Well, I guess it might be worth it to have some driving to do. Change of scenery, all that."



They spent a little more time in Denver searching for repair facilities, but no auto garages were to be found. Reluctantly Florida Man said they could try searching in the smaller surrounding cities. He didn't want to hit the road with the Gatormobile dinged as it was, but couldn't waste too much time in one place. The expanding size of the gang meant food consumption was slowly starting to become in issue.



Heading south, the gang decided to scout into the surrounding hills for either food or extra fuel. Florida Man was out wandering with Army Ranger Simms when suddenly the dog barked and started pawing at the ground. He couldn't see what the dog was looking at, and wondered if some animal had been buried there. Cecile had joined them once she heard the barking, but she didn't notice anything on the ground either. Army Ranger Simms began digging.

Then Cecile grabbed Florida Man's arm. "Look," she cried, pointing down the slope of the hill. "Out there, there's a road!" A few hundred yards away could be seen an apparently abandoned road that was now mostly covered in dirt. "You think it leads under here?"

Florida Man had hunched to the ground to assist with what Army Ranger Simms was searching for. After a few moments, there was a clinking sound as he pulled up a broken metal pipe. "Well, there's something here, all right. Not sure what." He used the pipe to continue with the excavation and Cecile went to call for others to help.

A half hour later, the gang had dug down two more feet, and uncovered the metal roof of a wide tunnel. At its edge was a broad rim on which letters were affixed, reading "CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN COMPLEX". Florida Man looked down and exclaimed, "This place? They got all the secrets down there!"



A little more digging, and they were below the opening of the tunnel. While there was still a large dirt pile beneath them, they could see that most of the interior of it leading into the mountain had not collapsed. Florida Man was contemplating making another tunnel in the side of the mountain to surprise them, but decided going straight in was the best way. He told the others he was going to crawl into the tiny space they'd cleared. He'd slipped his legs and was having trouble squeezing through, when from below he heard a crisp voice declaring, "All right folks. That's far enough. We've got our guns out and ready to shoot, so don't come any further in."

Florida Man called out, "Hey, just, uh, wondering if anyone was still okay in there? You might have been trapped a while, wondering how it is out here, huh?"

The man below spoke again. "Well, you have our gratitude for helping to clear the tunnel, but we can manage from here. And we really didn't need the help."

Florida Man cried out, "Wait, wait, I got something to show you!" He reached in his pocket and threw down his wallet into the tunnel.

"What's that? Stop!" The voice was suddenly much louder. "Hold still!"

Florida Man spoke again, a little meekly. "No, no, I'm ... I'm with the GUB. See, you can check in my wallet. That's it, down there."

Outside of the tunnel, Cecile stared at Florida Man incredulously. "Did you seriously just throw your wallet in there?"

In the shadowy tunnel, Florida Man could see someone approaching the wallet he'd thrown down. They appeared to poke at it, and then picked it up gingerly.

"Bring it here," said the voice below. There was some more sounds of movement inside the tunnel, and then a flashlight clicked on. It was aimed first at the wallet, then turned up toward Florida Man's half-inserted body. He leaned himself over and tried to wave as best he could. "I'm here to help. You got anybody hiding out with you? GUB doctors?"

The man ignored the question and then could be heard talking with someone on a radio telephone. After about thirty seconds, he made an announcement up toward Florida Man. "All right! You, and just you, come down. You're not getting inside. We can talk here."

With a bit more effort Florida Man grunted and then went sliding down the dirt pile.



After another half hour, he called up and said, "Hey, try to clear the tunnel a bit more, could you?"

With the opening enlarged a bit more, Florida Man, his clothes covered in dirt, crawled out from the below the tunnel mouth. He was followed by a well-built man in an Air Force uniform, who introduced himself as Master Sergeant Leonard Adams.

"Lennie's agreed to travel with us. Maybe serve as personal guard for the scientists we get. And help us fight back the Invaders when we have to."

"You know, we probably wouldn't have found you if it hadn't been for Army Ranger Simms."

Sergeant Adams asked, "You have someone with the Army with you? Where? I'd like to meet them."

Florida Man called out, "Army Ranger Simms, boy, where are you?"

Adams let out a shocked "Boy?" before turning to see the tan dog bounding down the slope to Florida Man. He processed the thought for a moment, and then laughed. "This is Army Ranger Simms?"

Florida Man grinned and rubbed the dog's head. "Sure is!" Then he added, "Hey, Simms, this guy's in the real army, you know."

"We're actually Air Force here, sir," responded Adams as he held his hand out toward Army Ranger Simms. "Looks like you knew the right place to look." Then he stood up. "Well, your little 'army ranger' made a good start, since we couldn't get the real Corps of Engineers to come out and clear it. They'll be fine inside, but it might be time for them to uncover the road anyway."

The Drill Sergeant is the last of our 'cronies'. Drill Sergeants improve the rate of promotion after battle, and also prevent losses due to desertion (which occurs most commonly when scouting). As a result, we'll have a much easier time keeping the gang strength up and won't have to constantly be recruiting.



Florida Man asked Sergeant Adams if he knew who controlled the local cities. He had said that all he knew was that they'd declined to use martial law to take over the city, and had instead retreated into the mountain while other units were called up to fight the enemy on the coasts. It wasn't too surprising, though, when they learned that the mafia had spread its influence outside the borders of Denver.



What they did notice was that most of the townsfolk were unwilling to engage with any outside group. It wasn't clear if they feared retaliation from the mob, or just were naturally untrusting. But Florida Man really wanted to fill the seats on the new bus, so the recruitment effort continued.



Later that day, they returned to Denver and Adams led them to a body shop that he knew about. It had been abandoned for months, but the tools seemed to be in working order and the vehicles were all fixed up in no time.



Florida Man knew they'd need even more fuel to keep all the big vehicles moving. Acting on more advice from Sergeant Adams, he sent the crew out to scavenge oil supplies at the nearest source. Unsurprisingly, it was well-defended.



It turned out to be another small 'militia' group that was vying for control of the precious gasoline tanks. Their force consisted of a Ford van outfitted with protective grills and roof-mounted radio equipment, along with two smaller cars that had been painted a drab green color.



The Gator Goons pushed forward through the rough scrub brush on a broad slope. Harold's bus had been ordered to stay off to one side but prepare volleys in case they were needed.



The terrain proved a lot harder to navigate through than expected; the locals who seemed to know the tracks better were able to close in on the bus while the trucks struggled to find a route. Florida Man snaked the Gatormobile on a line directly ahead of them to provide a distracting target.



Only some of the militia group took the bait; a fair number still focused their attacks on the thinly-armored bus.



Harold was starting to panic as he tried to slow and then turn around his ungainly green vehicle.



It all was happening too slowly, as first the van and then a car smashed into its side before it could bring the guns around to bear on them.



Florida Man had to slam down on the accelerator to outrun the remaining enemy car.



Eventually the Hyundai pulled up along the side of the militia's car and finished off the crew.



To their surprise, the Gator Goons found that there were no oil tanks, wells, or pumps to be found nearby. It was a mystery as to what this group had even been trying to defend.



Harold was shaken but still alive. "Man, you guys gotta protect me better than that next time!" he shouted.



The 'next time' came mere minutes later, as a large group of Cannibals showed up, apparently having heard the sounds of the firefight.



This enemy had their own bus filled with raving violent gang members. It was a battered old yellow school bus, with a fair bit of rust -- or blood -- staining the sides.



Harold rushed to drive towards safety as the rest of the goons drove down the treacherous hillside.



But he still couldn't get his bus to turn away, and the enemies once again chose him as the nearest target.



A massive burst of gunfire erupted from the school bus and knocked down almost half of the people inside Harold's own bus.



There was a slight cheer, though, when as many as could still fire shot back and eliminated the smallest car on the other side.



To Harold's luck, the Cannibal bus decided to engage with the rapidly-approaching Mack truck and Chevy van.



It drove right into the middle of the Gator Goons, but the crazed occupants fired with surprising accuracy, knocking two of Florida Man's crew from the top of his Pontiac.



Harold was bravely putting just enough distance between his vehicle and the enemy's second-biggest target, a Chevy pickup truck.



The school bus, meanwhile, had pulled up behind the Mack truck. A savage group of men and women wielding machetes lunged on to the rear of the trailer.



An intense struggle began as the topside crew found itself quickly outnumbered by the bloodthirsty intruders.



Harold had made the turn to safety at last, although it was looking as if the Hyundai was about to sacrifice itself to save the bus.



The pickup wasn't looking to ram, however; they just wanted to get close enough to leap onboard the car. Only a handful of people made it, though, and they were quickly beaten back.



The situation on the Mack was much grimmer, however. The Cannibals were ferocious fighters.



But as the rest of the gang's cars came to the rescue, the school bus was finally eliminated.



The Stellar spun around and knocked out the pickup truck as well, and the battle was won.



The battle was won, but the spoils still weren't that impressive. It seemed as if this fuel depot was unlikely to yield much more.



The gang returned to Denver, but that night one of the mafia's groups (or possibly some cannibals on the prowl) made a probing attack. They couldn't stick around for much longer.



After going back to the repair shop Sergeant Adams had shown them, they decided to move on. The group leadership thought should get more fuel, and Florida Man said the best place he knew that had oil would be Texas. He informed the Gator Goons that they were about to head south.

This week's film: World Gone Wild

World Gone Wild

"Like the man used to say, nothing makes any sense in a world gone wild."



It is the year 2087. Seventy-five years ago, a nuclear war erupted and 'a cruel trick was played on the survivors' in that rain has not come down for fifty years. The man speaking (who has a somewhat snarky tone) tells us that he has managed to survive in a small settlement known as Lost Wells that has access to water.

We see that Lost Wells is built around a junkyard of cars. A group of students are being taught on a broken-down school bus that serves as a classroom; they have only four books, one of which is an Emily Post guide to etiquette. The kids aren't able to learn much from it, but somehow it turns out to be fortuitous, as there is an announcement that visitors have arrived.

The visitors are a group of white-robed men and boys who show up in a helicopter (pulled along on a wheeled cart by people). Their leader, a man named Derek Abernathy, exits and the villagers welcome them. Derek makes some odd comments about searching for 'truth and love' and his own dreams. Then Derek and his followers pull out guns from under their robes and start massacring the villagers.

After the fighting, Derek confronts Ethan, a man dressed more or less like an aging hippie (he's the narrator from the opening). Derek mentions that he's heard tales that Ethan has 'magical powers' but leans in close and says he thinks that that story might just as much bullshit as the stories told about himself. Derek kidnaps some of the kids to 'replace' his losses, and also takes one woman from the village. He promises he'll come back eventually for more.

Ethan tells the schoolteacher, Angie, that in order to deal with Derek's crazy cult, they'll need to go to the city, 500 miles distant, for help. He knows of a man named George, who he says is "a hero, he just doesn't know it yet", and the two drive off to the city. When they arrive, Angie is shocked to find that all of the inhabitants are crying out for water from a rationing truck. The situation worsens when a motorcycle gang shows up to steal the water from those who just got their ration. One of the ration workers can't accept this, and pulls off his mask and starts fighting. Ethan recognizes him as George, and stops him in the act of chasing off the gang so he can tell him he needs him to save the village.

Ethan apparently raised George as a child, but it's been a long time since then. Ethan promises to reward George handsomely (with water), so George agrees to come. However, the leader of the biker gang, Hank, returns and is about to kill George. He lets up when George desperately promises a water reward to him. They go on to recruit two more to their side, two sideshow hucksters named Exline and Nitro.

We get a brief glimpse of what life is like in Derek's camp. It turns out they have only one book in their possession... and it's The Wit and Wisdom of Charles Manson. Derek makes a speech from the book to the cult and they pray to him.

On the way back to Lost Wells, Angie comes under attack by two cannibals. As George is fighting them off, he recognizes one of them as an old companion of his, Ten Watt, and tells him to come along with them, too. Angie is terrified by the prospect of having to rely on such characters to save their town. Ethan tells her that's why he prefers to live away from reality, in the 'land of the mushroom'.

The mercenaries are overjoyed to see that the well actually exists. They begin to form defenses for the town. Hank has the people move out of the cars they use as homes and piles them up to make a wall. The villagers dig a ditch and Ten Watt gathers snakes and scorpions to toss into it. Exline finds the lack of alcohol upsetting so he crafts a still. Nitro sets up explosive charges at strategic points around the camp.

Ethan and George have a talk about the old days, when they used to run around together fighting their way through the wasteland, an occupation Ethan has long since given up. George is still uncertain about wanting to stay and help Ethan. Ethan then gives George one of his mushroom 'potions', causing him to have a terrifying vision of being tortured and killed by Derek. He wakes up in Angie's bed and she tries to comfort him. He takes it too far and attempts to assault her, causing her to kick him in the crotch so he gets the message.

That night, Hank comes to Angie and also tries to force himself on her. George sees what's happening and draws a gun on him. Angie then gets the gun, and Hank rides off from the town. Hank goes to Derek and tells him about what the villagers are doing, and offers to fight for him instead. Derek, however, has no need for a 'disloyal' mercenary. George comes to the camp and sees Hank strung up in a manner reminiscent of his own vision.



The next day, the villages continue to prepare the defenses. George tells Ethan they could use his magic, although Ethan calmly smokes a joint and tells George, "I expect you to be my magic." George decides to clean himself up a bit and tries to impress Angie at the school bus (and maybe get a reading lesson). At that moment, they get word that Derek is approaching.

Derek notices the car wall, but drives straight through the gate into the town without a concern. He confronts Ethan, who remarks with mock surprise, "Oh! You're back!" Derek deposits the dead body of the woman he'd captured, complaining that she had knifed him, and says he wants "an exchange". He mentions that the walls didn't really do much to keep him out, to which George replies that they weren't meant to.

At a signal from Ethan, Nitro blows a charge that drops several cars to block the entrance, and then the villagers attack. Almost all of Derek's men are killed or driven off. Derek manages to escape through a gap where the cars fell and starts to ride off. George's job is actually to finish him off by firing a gun at a hidden placement of dynamite, but when he goes to do it, it turns out he hadn't loaded the ammo in his gun.

After the battle, the villagers discover that the well has somehow gone dry. The mercenaries have no reason to stay, but George decides to hang around anyway, and this convinces the rest to remain. Ethan then appears and happily turns the water back on; it appears to actually be coming from a hidden pipe.

That night, George is teaching Angie about dancing, and it appears they're about to have a romantic moment. It's interrupted when Derek returns, with fresh troops and some sort of military vehicle with a machine gun on it.

Derek starts shooting up the town, with the defenders mostly caught by surprise. Ten Watt gets captured and Derek demands to know where George is. Exline is found near the still and manages to coerce two of the enemy soldiers into having a drink with him. Nitro has his grenades at the ready, though, and when he becomes enraged when one of the children he'd been protecting is shot, he starts fighting back and blows up the vehicle. George rushes to the fight but gets wounded in the shoulder.

Another cultist is about to get George when Ethan shows up and takes care of the enemy for him. Ethan says he's on his way out of there, on his way to "the sky" or "maybe even heaven", and walks off. Nitro rescues Ten Watt and forces Derek to run away. As Derek tries to flee in his car, George pulls his weapon and hits the dynamite at just the right moment, blowing the car up.

Except he didn't get Derek, who is right behind him with a gun at his ear. They fight for a bit in hand-to-hand combat. Derek clearly has the upper hand. Exline is still drinking with the soldiers, but as they observe the fight, they pull their guns and prepare to do him in. Instead, he lights up a cigarette, causing the still to explode. An on-fire Exline rushes out toward Derek, engulfing both of them in flames.

Ethan, in an apparent final act of protest against the craziness of the world, mounts a platform he has built and then sets it on fire. Before he can immolate himself, though, there is a crack of lightning, and water starts to fall from the sky. Rain has returned; the fire around Ethan is put out and he has to remain among the living.



The film is basically a post-apocalyptic version of The Seven Samurai (or possibly The Magnificent Seven, given that several characters are dressed in an Old West style). Even with a plotline as strong as that to model, it's still a bit disjointed and nonsensical. However, it generally makes up for that with the entertaining characters and competence in a lot of other aspects. The director, Lee Katzin, had been working for quite some time, mostly in television, including some early western series, so that's not too surprising. The acting is almost universally great (especially Adam Ant as Derek, and Bruce Dern as Ethan), and most of the time the film looks decent visually if not overly impressive. It does a good job referencing the films it is similar to (including The Road Warrior) without feeling derivative.

There are a ton of interesting details and moments that make this work well, and they are conveyed with subtlety and craft. For instance, Ethan's 'magic' clearly derives from the fact that he remembers some key bits of knowledge and technology. Each of the mercenaries has their own amusing quirks. Exline, for example, hates guns despite having been a gunfighter in the sideshow scam he was running; Nitro is really good with the children; and Ten Watt's very off in the head and talks to the scorpions as if they're his troops. The comparison of the cultures that arise from the remnants of the books that remain is apparent. Some of these moments are a mere flash on the screen, and it happens rather naturally, without much in the way of exposition.



Most of the time, the parts that don't fit together as well do so because the film opts for having something cool happen instead of what might make more sense. Derek's initial reluctance to finish off Ethan (or the town's inhabitants) isn't very rational, but you wouldn't get the film without it. The rain at the end is a fitting conclusion, despite there not even being a hint of an explanation as to why. There are a few misses on this front, though: for some reason George keeps getting compared to Derek, even though he's clearly not the leader type, and his journey as a hero isn't very fleshed out. There's an entire sub-plot involving the traumatized daughter of the kidnapped woman that starts quite oddly with Derek kissing her (on the lips); it sort of seems like her soul is at stake but it's also not quite articulated well, even if what is there is actually intriguing (for instance, she wears the bloody robe of one of Derek's followers for a while, suggesting she's connecting him somehow with her mother). On the whole, the film shies away from making the violence too real, but also doesn't try to gloss over it. It sounds like it shouldn't work, but I find that it does.

It occurred to me while writing this up that the film actually resembles quite a bit the TV series The A-Team, but with the violence and its effects allowed to be shown. That establishes a tone that really does fit the title; insanity, cruelty, and violence are the expected result when society has broken down and the lessons of the past have been forgotten. Even if Derek doesn't fully buy into his own cult status, he still seems to think that Manson's words must be important in some way, which to us can come off as both terrifying but also absurdly comical in a weird way. That sort of balance is what this film, just barely, does seem to manage.


Connections to Roadwar 2000



What's interesting about this film is that while some aspects of the scarcity of resources (such as water) are focused on, there isn't much concern to things like getting fuel or producing weapons. There is some vague sense of how rare such things may be. It's really only brought up as necessary to service the plot. To some extent, that fits moderately well with the game. The survival of the cities, the rise of the gangs, and the ongoing use of automobiles are all bits that do make sense in this post-apocalyptic setting. Further questions (like why the gangs engage in combat so often) are most easily answered by the statement that this it makes the game work, much in the way World Gone Wild just has some parts that serve the characters rather than a fully cohesive world.

In terms of how it feels, the cheeky tone of the movie is close to what the game is doing, but it's a lot less mock-serious than Roadwar. A more apposite reference might be the Fallout games, which at least some of the time mix their humor about the treatment of the past with a crazy and dangerous world. And if I'm so bold as to admit it, I find that it actually isn't that far off in spirit of what the narrative part of this LP has been. I'm not intending these characters to be taken very realistically, but little touches of what the ruined world is actually like intrude sometimes. There is also quite a bit of inevitable violence and death in every combat that I'm neither trying to make too glossy nor dwell on over-much. I can only say that for both the movie and the game, this is a fictional world, wild as it may be.

Two fights in a row seemed pretty costly if I'm reading that right, almost 75 people? By the way if a vehicle is boarded successfully is that just a more roundabout way to take one out of a fight or do you get to control it for the rest of the right/capture it after?

The massive casualties were even heavier due to the boarding (which took out more than 20 on board the truck), but yeah, those two fights were probably the most costly we've had.

If you win a fight on a vehicle, you have the option to capture it and control it immediately, or to kill it outright. I actually don't know if you lose the people on board if you eliminate it. It's basically always to your advantage to capture, since you can abandon a vehicle at any time from the main screen. It's only an issue in the very rare instance where you'd want to fix flats first and a combat popped up before you could abandon (and even then, you could move all the crew out and stick it in a far corner of the battlefield, like I tend to do with the bulldozer on the tactical map). Or, maybe, if it might otherwise collide with one of your own cars but that'd be even rarer. The last thing about on-vehicle fights is that if the fight ends, the onboard combat is stopped and you win automatically. That has saved us at least twice already, since we don't run with a full crew on the big vehicles.

Florida Man Discovers Fuel Efficiency Secret




The Gator Goons followed the highway south of Denver until it wended its way up through the mountains toward Albuquerque, New Mexico. It was a quiet stretch of road, with hardly even any wrecked vehicles or signs of life along the way.



Upon reaching Albuquerque, they stopped at the edge of the city and sent down scouts. Reports came back that the Invaders had taken control there.

Sgt. Adams was shocked. "They're already that close? We thought we'd been able to stop them at the border!"

Florida Man replied, "Nah, man, we're in New Mexico, now, right? I think they were already here. You know, years ago. Roswell, right? You guys know this stuff."

Adams just gave him a disgusted look. "Come on, man!"

Florida Man replied, "Well, I guess you can't discuss it, heh. Anyway, I say we skip this town. No need to fight them, they probably got more of their own special technology here."



They did bypass the town and took off down toward the Texas border.



A day later, they arrived in Amarillo, a quiet town in the high plains of the Texas panhandle. The residents there didn't seem to care much about outside events. A gang of local business leaders had banded together to control the town and try to extract whatever revenue they could from visitors, but it was clear to the Gator Goons that they'd rather have them leave town as soon as possible.



With Amarillo giving them a fairly unfriendly welcome, the group sped a little south, to Lubbock.



It, too, was under the sway of the invading armies. Dr. Kassabian commented that the folks in Amarillo were going to be in for a rough surprise if these troops started marching northward.



Elpida went around the city to gather more volunteers; they were expecting a fight in the Texas oilfields and fresh troops were needed. "I just hope you can train them in time," she commented to Adams.



As the Gator Goons headed south into the wide open land south of Lubbock, they could see from far off five solid black Lincoln Continentals, running in formation and kicking up a cloud of dust behind them that was visible for miles. Their readied their weapons and drove down to engage the gang.



The enemy cars, despite being boxy late-70s models, seemed to be in top condition with their engines roaring when the Gator Goons grew closer.



Jack took a shot at the tires of the massive cars; he expected that limited steering might be these cars' weakness, and wanted to press that advantage even further.



Nevertheless the Lincolns advanced, seemingly undeterred. Fire was exchanged between all vehicles with light casualties.



Harold had been trying to stay out of the action, but one of the enemy cars chased him down. A broadside from the side of the bus finished off most of the people on the car. It still managed to skid into the rear of his bus as it halted, causing some minor damage.



This gang did not seem to be willing to smash their own vehicles so easily. One of them pulled close to the Freightliner and then veered sharply to the side. That allowed boarders to easily make the jump on to the truck. Cecile could see the Lincoln's driver, dressed all in black leather and wearing a broad white cowboy hat, give a cruel sneer as he kept pace with the truck.



Florida Man shouted, "Hey idiots, chase me!" and darted the Gatormobile just past the front bumper of one of the black beasts.



The sudden turn of the Freightliner straight toward an oil well took the enemy car by surprise. It slammed on the brakes and then crashed into the side of the truck.



Meanwhile, Jack had been forced to halt in a muddy patch of the plain to avoid skidding into a large rock. He was now being tailed at close range by one of the Lincolns.



Florida Man and the Gator Goons' own limo (a Cadillac) took out one more enemy vehicle.



As Jack's Chevy van gained distance from the last enemy car, the Cadillac pulled up from its other side and pummeled it with gunfire.



The "Hot Rod Lincolns" had taken on the Gator Goons and lost.



This time, there was a sizable cache of both fuel and food to be found after the battle.



Florida Man had heard warnings that the Invaders would be even stronger near the Mexican border, but decided to press his luck and went ever southward into West Texas. He refrained from crossing the Rio Grande, though, and instead took the gang down the desolate highway to the east.



A day later, they'd reached San Antonio. To their dismay, they found that a group calling itself "The Texian Army" had taken over the town, putting its headquarters at the Alamo.



However, the town actually seemed free of violence, and it was actually possible to find a repair garage that was running almost as a business; they seemed to be mostly working on smaller vehicles and even bicycles, but were willing to take on the job of fixing the Gator Goons' cars. The shop owner did mention that it'd be best for the gang if they moved on quickly, as the Texians were not too happy about letting any rival gangs get big in their city.



While the cars were being fixed, a tall brown-skinned man approached them at the garage. "You're the group that just came into town, right?" he asked earnestly. "Have you had any contact with any government groups?" He lowered his voice and added, "Federal government, I mean."

"Hey, we got an Air Force guy," responded Florida Man, "He was with them up in the mountains around Denver. Maybe he knows something." He pointed out Sgt. Adams and the man went over to talk to him.

As he left, Cecile punched Florida Man lightly in the shoulder and said, "Hey, you know, I think that guy's looking for the GUB. You could have told him..."

"Oh!" said Florida Man. "Oh yeah, I guess we're kind of government agents, too," he remarked with a chuckle.

Sgt. Adams had already managed to figure out that the scientist, Gabriel Washington, was in fact someone they were searching for. He promised Dr. Washington that they'd bring him safely back to the GUB just as soon as they could, and until then, he would ensure his personal safety.



They paid the repair shop in food and medicine, and moved on to Austin, which they found to be under the control of the Invaders.



All the nearby cities had been taken over as well.



Most of the citizens seemed to have fled or gone into hiding, as many of the buildings were abandoned and in disrepair. There was little to be found in the way of loot. It was a bit worrying for Florida Man, as keeping the numbers up to the level necessary for fighting larger battles was using up the food supplies quickly.



As they continued up the road to Dallas, there were a few more signs of life, but the general air of desolation remained. This was especially true as they made their way through the city's downtown, where the empty skyscrapers loomed hollowly overhead. Florida Man had an idea when he found one curiously angular structure right near the city's center. Once the goons broke through the entrance doors, he started wandering up through the empty offices. He'd reached one of the upper floors that had a large conference room with a broad view out the window. As he walked over to check out the city from above, Dr. Kassabian rushed into the room, accompanied by Gabriel Washington and Sgt. Adams.

Dr. Kassabian said, "Hey, check it out, looks like Gabe here found something neat. Tell him, doctor."

"What is it?" asked Florida Man as he turned away from the window.

Dr. Washington was holding in his hand a large flask of pale yellowish liquid, which he held up and swirled around. "Well, this was in one of the labs here, and according to the notes we found with it, it contains an experimental fuel additive. A self-replicating nanomolecule that, when added to regular gasoline, doubles its efficiency!"

"So we could add it to our fuel tanks?"

"Yes," interrupted Dr. Kassabian. "It'll let us go twice as far on a full tank of fuel. No more searching out those oil wells!"

Florida Man replied, "So how much is there of it? Do they got tanks of it down in the basement?"

Dr. Kassabian and both started to speak at the same time, then paused. Washington continued, "The thing is, it'll self-replicate. That means we can add it to the tank once and every time we fill it, within hours, the gas will be back up to being super-efficient! This amount here is all we need for all the cars."

Florida Man smiled. "That sure is something. Guess it was worth coming in this building after all." He turned and looked out the window over the city, and the rest of them came over to admire the view as well.

Dr. Washington stared off toward the southeast, as if trying to make out some distant object on the horizon. "You know, I heard they had been doing some of this work here, but never got a chance to come up. Back in Houston, they said they had even done amazing things, too. But then..."

"Wait, what happened in Houston?" wondered Kassabian.

"Hm, I guess you guys didn't know that," he said, walking slowly over to the window. "Houston got hit. I was in Spring when it happened. Nuclear bomb took out the whole city. I tried to stick around, moved on the outskirts, see what effect it had on the virus. But the new strain... you know, turned people violent. They call them mutants, they do, but they're just sick. Either way, it wasn't safe. That's how I ended up down in San Antonio. Good thing you guys found me."

Sgt. Adams said, "Oh! So is that why these cities are so abandoned. Seems like the invading armies came through and even they didn't want to stay."

Dr. Washington said, "Yeah, I suppose. There's probably nothing worth going back there for, now. Maybe what I did find can help out if we make it back to the G.U.B."

To this, Adams responded, "Oh, we'll make it back safe. No worries about that." Then to Florida Man he said, "So what is our plan anyway?"

Florida Man scratched his head. "I did want to see if my house is okay, you know, I had been kind of heading back home. Uh... while we're looking for the scientists, too."

Dr. Kassabian said, "Yeah, but didn't we get a lead on one? Dr. Trotier?"

Dr. Washington spoke up. "Alec? He's alive? Where is he?"

Dr. Kassabian replied, "We don't know if he's alive really, it was just a tip. Somebody told us he might be in the 'north central U.S.'"

Adams said, "If we know the whereabouts of any GUB personnel, that should be our top priority. We were pretty lucky to find Dr. Washington here, but as he said he barely made it through this."

Dr. Washington added, "We really should look for Alec if he's out there. You could bring us back together."

Florida Man sighed resignedly. "I guess so. At least we got a few cities up there that are ours."

As they left the office, Dr. Kassabian commented, "Gee, I sure hope Trotier wasn't in Chicago."



It turned out the quiet of the city would not last very long at all. Almost as soon as the goons had left the building, they came under attack from a unit of the Invader army. They'd managed to gain quite a few followers as they made their way through central Texas, but many of them were lost in the fight through downtown Dallas that followed.



With the knowledge that the Invaders were only likely to come at them even harder if they stayed, the Gator Goons left Dallas as fast as they could. On the road eastward as they made a hasty camp, they were surprised by an assault from a group of 'mutants'. Dr. Washington figured they'd probably come up from Houston as he checked all the survivors for any signs of infection.



Instead of heading farther down the highway, the gang swung up through the farmland of eastern Oklahoma. The gasoline additive had worked wonders, but their food supply was still dwindling.



The next big city they encountered was Oklahoma City. From what they could gather, the heightened state of security in the state capital meant that the response to the pandemic had been a rapid deployment of the national guard, who'd managed to maintain order in the city since then. After checking if there had been any 'research scientists' who might have come through the town, and finding no reports, the Gator Goons left town.



Tulsa was the next stop. Florida Man was relieved to hear that the Reborners were the sole power in the city, as he'd actually hoped to do a bit of looting for food, but didn't want to arouse the anger of the soldiers back in Oklahoma City. He wasn't going to be so rude as to force the Reborners to feed the gang, but he was pretty sure they wouldn't do much to bother the Gator Goons either. Initial scouting yielded no results, however.



Fortunately, they were able to scrounge a bit through the supermarkets and managed to find another day or so's worth of food. During that time, the Reborners remained stand-offish but amicable.



Later the next day, the Gator Goons were still searching the city blocks when they heard the sound of gunfire. At first they thought it was someone celebrating a find, but as the bullets started whizzing past them they realized they themselves were under fire. The vehicles took to the streets and started firing back.



Harold, in the bus, found himself more than a block away from the main part of the group, with only the Hyundai near by. Florida Man gunned the Gatormobile down the street to provide more covering fire.



As the Gator Goons got closer, they heard the twisted hooting of a group of Cannibals. There appeared to be several medium-size vehicles and one large truck that they'd kept stashed on a side street, likely because it carried all of their ill-gotten food stores.



Harold turned his bus down a side street as soon as he spotted a small Toyota approaching; he wasn't sure if it was going to be the lead element of some larger force or not.



Jack swerved his Chevy van around a tight corner while being pursued by a little Dodge Neon. Farther back, Cecile ordered the truck driver to slow to a crawl so they could let loose with the guns at long range.



As Harold made a lumbering turn around the corner, the tiny Toyota continued to head straight for him.



Gunfire erupted out the side of the bus, eliminating the driver, but it was not in time to prevent the car from barreling into the back end of the bus, causing Harold to halt to avoid fishtailing into the building behind him.



A couple brave souls tried to leap out the back door of the Chevy on to the Neon, but one just slid off the roof. The two who made it did knock one person of the opposing car but where killed in short order.



The two trucks had now apparently become the main targets of the enemy, though the Freightliner seemed to be at a safe enough distance down the side street at this point.



Jack and the Mack truck finished off the Neon. Now there was a red Ford Bronco that was looking to close in on the Freightliner in a narrow street race.



Just as those two were headed down the side street, the Gatormobile and the Stellar were making all speed up another street to get closer to the action. The Cannibals in their truck had gotten underway now and were looking to even the odds.



The Freightliner lurched back and forth to give its passengers a better shooting angle, and it worked: the Bronco was taken out before the truck had made it to the next block.



Florida Man broke off to head behind the flatbed while the Hyundai rushed to beat it at the corner.



The Stellar zoomed by at nearly 100 mph and took a screeching turn around the block as the van and the Mack got into range of the Cannibal's flatbed.



Crazy cannibals dancing around on the open bed of a truck were easy pickings, even at moderate range.



As the opposition's numbers dwindled, Jack took a crazy risk and drove in close with the Chevy van.



This lured several of them to get off the flatbed and onto his own van, where the more-skilled defenders knocked them off easily.



Jack had timed his run perfectly, as he swung the van out of the way just in time to avoid a collision.



There was still a lot of fight in the Cannibal crew, though, as they took out two of the people on top of the Hyundai.



By the time the rest of the enemy gang had been defeated, even Harold had been able to rejoin the group.



It had been one of their lengthiest street battles yet, but the Goons came out of it in relatively good shape; there'd hardly been any damage to the vehicles.



The commotion of the battle had naturally garnered a great deal of attention. A group of Reborners actually showed up afterward with a grateful gift. "We do not allow violence, but we are glad to be rid of such foul people as that. They have been troubling us for some time," said their leader. "We share our gifts with you, and hope that you, too, will see the new light."



Not wanting to push their luck any further in this region, the Gator Goons made preparations to leave the next morning. A review of the forces showed that Sgt. Adams' training was producing noticeable results.



The Gator Goons pushed onward and nearly made it as far as St. Louis in a few days. On the way there had been an attack on mutants, and it wasn't clear if these had migrated north from Houston or south from Chicago.



The town was said to be controlled by a group of bureaucrats occupying the city government offices, but rumor had it they were too busy arguing over how to plan the town to mess with any outsiders.


Elpida was able to convince a number of the citizens that to be stuck here in the middle of the country, while safer from the Invaders, wasn't going to make things get better any time soon, and the mutants would be coming any day now. If they wanted adventure and excitement, they should sign up with the Gator Goons.



After stocking up with a few more food stores, the gang continued up into anywhere that they might get updates on Alec Trotier's whereabouts.



When they reached Indianapolis, they were unable to find any GUB agents, but it turned out that news of their journey through Chicago, and the takeover of Detroit, had made it to the city. There were still a number of skilled crews who had hung around at the Speedway hoping that somehow, fast car racing might make a comeback. They offered to fix up the Gator Goons vehicles for free if Florida Man would give them a show in the Gatormobile.



The engines were tuned for excellent performance.





Florida Man suggested that they still had to deal with a lot of attacks out on the road, so reinforced steel panels were added wherever possible, with an upgrade to the brakes to account for the weight increase.


Harold was especially pleased with the upgrades. Even if his old bus was not going to be able to turn any better, the protection on the windows and front was vastly improved, and it would take more than a simple collision to dent it now.

Note that unlike some of the upgrade sites, this one did not repair all the vehicles for free; I'm not sure why that is so. Also of note is that while I could not have known when we would get the first contact from the GUB, we did benefit from having it happen when we did. Apparently, the GUB update overrides these 'first visit' bonuses, so it did not trigger when we went through Indianapolis before. I did take advantage of that to save these upgrades for the bus.


The constant threat of mutant attacks from Illinois had only seemed to worsen since they'd last been here. The gang's casualty rate was getting to be unacceptable.



This week's film: Deathsport

We'll get back to Florida one day.

Deathsport (1978)

"When the sun rises, there's no necessity to announce it. Clearly we have lost."



A voiceover explains that a thousand years into the future, after the 'Great Neutron Wars', the world consists of a few city-states and large wastelands. The wastelands are peopled with 'cannibal mutants' as well as the 'range guides' who are able to navigate safely through the dangerous territory when the 'statemen' must travel outside of their safe city walls.

One of the guides is seen being chased after by helmeted men on motorcycles. He kills off many of them using a crystal sword and a 'blaster' (a death ray that his pursuers also wield). Before he manages to escape on his horse, his horse is shot and then the statemen finally knock him to the ground.

Two leaders have a meeting and say that they need people to believe in the 'death machines' as a display of military power. They want to show their strength by using them to defeat the famously tough range guides in the 'Deathsport'. The statemen then go out and capture a woman who's been serving as one of the guides for a group of scared travellers avoiding the mutants. In the process, a young girl she'd been training is also captured by mutants living in the surrounding hills.

In the prison, Caz Oshay (the man who was caught at the start) finds that if he tries to resist his captors, they can send some sort of shock torture directly into his cell. He sees the woman who'd been captured in the cell opposite him. Her name is Deneer, and they both speak in a stilted language apparently used by the guides; they also seem to form a psychic connection since he has flashes of her being captured without her having to tell it to him.

The leader, Lord Zirpula, is informed by his doctor (a man named Agust Karl) that he has a degenerative brain disease and should probably step down before it worsens and drives him insane. This throws Zirpula into a rage and he sentences the doctor to 'Deathsport'; Karl is thrown in the cell with Caz.

Zirpula's lieutenant Ankar Moor (the man who captured Caz) comes down to the cell and threatens the two guides; he apparently killed Caz's mother, the most famous guide of all, and he wants him to know it. Caz is defiant.

Dr. Karl's son (who'd been travelling with Deneer's group) wants to rescue his father, and he comes to the prison cell with some guards. As they open the cell, he surprises them from behind and Caz is able to overpower the guards. However, it turns out that the walls of the prison cannot be breached, and the prison escape is thwarted. Both Karl and his son are imprisoned with Caz.

Zirpula punishes Deneer by having her dance naked in a dark room that has electrodes hanging from the ceiling. He seems to be able to control them somehow to give her shocks and this pleases him sadistically.

Caz is tortured and thrown back into the prison, where Deneer heals him. Then the guards come in (being sure to turn on the torture and stun the prisoners first) and carry all of them off to the Deathsport arena. It appears as if they are to be used in a some sort of gladiatorial combat. They are only provided with helmets and swords, while their opponents have the 'death machines' which seem to be just the same motorcycles we've already seen.

Caz & Deneer of course are able to win the fights. There's a fair amount of random explosions, although we see at some point that Zirpula and Ankar Moor have control over them and are maybe trying and failing to blow up the gladiators. Caz and Deneer, along with Dr. Karl and his son, take over some of the death machines and are able to escape the arena.



Zirpula, upset over the escape, tortures another woman. She collapses to the ground, but when he goes to pick her up she grabs him and hits him with one of the shock devices, killing him. Ankar Moor, now knowing that he can become the leader of the city if he catches the escapees, heads into the wilderness after them.

In the wasteland, Caz and Deneer return to the place where the little girl was taken. They come across a location unfamiliar to them (it looks to be a shot of some refinery, and is said to be a secret weapons factory). They hide out during the night to avoid the roving mutants.

The next day, Ankar's men catch up to the four as they make for a 'pass'. In the ensuing chase, Dr. Karl is killed. His son wants to go back and take the rest of Ankar's men on, but Caz convinces him that it he'd be throwing his life away. As the chase continues out beyond the pass, both sides notice an oncoming 'flash wind' that they need to take shelter from.

Deneer searches her memories and realizes the location of the mutant cave. Inside, they discover the child in a cage and release her. On the way out, they have to fight off some of the mutants, and Caz has to come back and save the junior Karl from being taken.

When they exit, Caz rides off to draw Ankar Moor away, while the others head off to the nearest city, since that was Deneer's original task. After another fiery chase scene through a military base, Caz has managed to blow up almost all of the death machines. He finally faces down Ankar Moor in a duel of swords, and defeats him by slicing off his head.

Deneer comes out to the range with horses. She and Caz agree to make their 'union complete', and so they ride off into the sunset together with the child following after on a pony.



While this was intended as a follow-up of sorts to Death Race 2000, this one ended up largely being a failure. There seems to be a germ of an interesting future world at its heart, with the lore of the guides as mystical figures, and the neo-Roman Empire setting, but it just ignores anything interesting in favor of distracting the audience with exploding vehicles and occasional gratuitous nudity. Unfortunately even the action scenes are too low-budget to even be entertaining, and the somewhat serious and pretentious tone of the character interactions makes it hard to enjoy it even in a more trashy way.

The attempts to provide any tension or interesting conflict simply don't work. The city-state is trying to trick the populace into a war, but we never see anyone's reaction to what the leaders are doing, and Zirpula is simply eliminated before anything more comes of it. Caz and Deneer's convoluted jargon wants to highlight that the guides maintain a fiercely independent lifestyle in the wilderness, but since they are together for almost the whole movie, there's never a doubt that they won't end up together. About the only decent source of conflict is Ankar Moor, played with intensity by Richard Lynch. He has some good scenes with Caz Oshay (played ably by David Carradine), but this alone cannot carry the movie, and opposite most of the other characters he seems to be overacting.



There's a clear contrast between this and Death Race; while Death Race was fun and satirical, with well-shot vehicular action even while being lurid and graphic with the sex and violence, this is just far lower (or wasted) effort. Unlike the Death Race, the titular Deathsport is neither well-defined nor interesting. There's only one scene involving it, which goes on far too long, and it is hardly different from the other motorcycle chases in the film. Few of those are compelling to watch either, since even though they showcase some great stunts what happens in the chase isn't in service of any narrative. There are explosions and lots of things burst into fire, and the person you expect to win eventually wins. There's also the sexual exploitation, which is tossed in with barely any commentary or context. Aside from an occasionally shirtless Carradine and one very brief scene of intimacy, it's just naked women being tortured for no good reason than to be on display for the audience. There's also only a hint of Corman's unique production values, since this is mostly shot in exterior locations, and it's clear that this is the side of Corman that could care less about the plot or characters as long as the film has enough explosions and naked people in it to keep the audience satisfied.

The problem, of course, is even this does not leave the audience satisfied. While a fair amount of the camera work is well-executed, it tends to fall down in the action sequences; there are too many POV shots, and unlike speedy cars on highways these are motorbikes on bumpy off-road trails, which only makes for an unpleasant watch. The editing isn't able to hide that that the same bits and locations are being re-used over and over, with cuts to explosions with no real reason for them occurring far too often. I'd say the spacy music (assisted by Jerry Garcia) is at least intriguing, and the sound in general is competent. I listened to this with the commentary track by Allan Arkush (the second director, brought in to try to salvage the film), and as he puts it, "Bad movies don't start out as bad movies." That's true, and whatever it might have started out as, the end product is still just a bad movie.

Connections to Roadwar 2000



There is the promise in this film of vehicular action with the motorcycles, but it rarely is fulfilled. The death rays are invisible and kill instantaneously, so they have to either be not used or be planned with just the right shot, and it does not liven up the combat at all. Even the swordplay isn't terribly well done, since the unwieldy plastic swords don't lend themselves to proper fencing, just people either running into the hero's blade or slashed off their bike without it actually being shown on-screen.

You do get one other point where this has a common element in the game world, which is the mutants. In Roadwar, the 'mutants' only attack at night, which is something suggested by this film (although they also kidnap the child in the day, but that's hardly the movie's only inconsistency). The Deathsport mutants seem to be an actual sort of human subspecies, as they live in communities but can only speak in grunts or howls. Their appearance is unnatural but still humanoid, even if it is probably the cheapest-looking thing in a relatively low-effort film. With Roadwar's shortened timescale for the collapse they had to resort to the hand-waving 'mutant virus' idea, but they do also hold to the concept that these are a constant threat, and not quite human either. They also seem to follow the trope of being cannibals in a world where that doesn't seem strictly necessary, something that pops up in the game as well.

If nothing else, the mutants are in a way one of the least disappointing aspects of the film, as from their first appearance in their cheesy outfits we have an understanding of what they will be like. The cave scene even provides one of the more engaging fight scenes, with a torch fight that actually gives a reason for everything eventually catching on fire. It's just unfortunate that as with a lot of the parts of Deathsport, it doesn't fit together with the rest at all.

Just a note that the update schedule will likely be a bit less often than once a week for now. It's better to get them out at a more workable pace for me than to push, since trying to get it out actually has taken more time out of my schedule than doing it slowly. No big slowdown - more like 10 days or so between posts, and a new update is coming within a day or two.

Florida Man Abandons Millions in Buried Gold Treasure




The Gator Goons spent a bit more time in Indianapolis searching for new members and seeking reports on Trotier's whereabouts. They encountered another band of the oddly face-painted people who'd spread out after the 'gathering' in Detroit. They didn't seem to be ready to help out the gang. Army Ranger Simms gave a bark, and they dispersed.



The mutant attacks continued as they moved on toward Ohio. In Cincinnati, they discovered that with the cold weather already arriving, the Reborners were only sharing their food to those who professed the new faith. There were many left out who were ready to join up with a road gang instead.



However, the leadership knew their own food supplies were going to get tight if they kept bringing in so many members, and Sgt. Adams was having trouble training all the raw recruits. Florida Man told Elpida to hold off on bringing in more people, and only to look for Alec Trotier, or any other GUB scientists.



Unfortunately, this behavior often drove the assembled crowd to anger. In some cases, they turned out to be cannibal gangs that were only waiting for the right moment to strike. After a few encounters like this, the Gator Goons were down to their lowest numbers in weeks.



In Dayton, at least, there were doctors who had set up camps for the Reborners, and they were able to trade for a few more doses of antitoxin.



But even there, the Chicago mutants continued to find them, and again the Reborners asked them firmly to leave the city.



Columbus and Cleveland proved to fertile ground for new and friendlier replacements for those who'd been recently lost, but there were still no reports of Trotier.



By the time they got to Youngstown, the gang had swelled to nearly 200 members again. This time, when they encountered a group in the street, Army Ranger Simms started to jump and whimper. Sgt. Adams looked and spotted telltale traces of blood on the shirts of some of the crowd.

"Cannibals!" he cried out, and the Gator Goons attacked. With their ruse discovered, the cannibal gang tried to pull their weapons out, but the Gator Goons were already firing. They mowed down the enemy with ease.



As the afternoon faded into evening, Florida Man spotted another small band of men and women coming down the street. They had smears of blood all over them. A couple seemed to be dressed quite differently, with one in a flowing black gown, and another wearing an oversized red, white, and blue hat and a star-spangled suit. Oddly, the seemed to be laughing as they meandered towards him.

"Cannibals?!" cried out Florida Man, and pulled out his shotgun.

"Holy shit, no!" yelled one of the bloodstained men. "Is that real? No, wait, wait, we're just going to a party!" He, and several of the others, began waving their arms furiously in the air to show they meant no harm.

"Party? In that get-up? Huh?" asked a bewildered Florida Man. He lowered his gun.

"Yeah, you know it's Halloween! Still gotta party," responded one of the women. "What are you dressed up as?" she asked, twirling around and following the shocked group away.

"What do you know, Army Ranger Simms, I guess it's Halloween," said a relieved Florida Man, remembering all the fun he'd had on Halloweens past. He patted the dog on the head and called back to the rest of the gang, "False alarm. Just a costume party, you know."



There was a growing chill in the air as Florida Man guided the group up toward Michigan. He didn't want to spend another winter up in the northern cold climates; last year in New York he had thought he was going to freeze to death. Fortunately, as they entered Toledo and checked in with the National Guard, they found Alec Trotier right there, staying safely at the base.

It seemed word had gotten through that the Gator Goons who had set up the government in Detroit were the ones chosen by the GUB to bring the scientists in, and he'd expected them to come back any day. Dr. Washington was overjoyed to be reunited with him, and they spent the afternoon comparing notes and discussing the current state of the pandemic.



While they were in town, the helpful national guard allowed the Goons full use of their repair yard. The vehicles were once again ready for action on the road.



Early the next morning, Florida Man was just returning from a morning walk with Army Ranger Simms. He found Ms. Stojanova and Sgt. Adams waiting for him. Elpida brought up the question first. "We have two GUB scientists. Where do we head now?"

Florida Man scratched his ear and replied, "Well, it's been pretty cold lately. Getting toward winter time soon. I think it would be good to head south for a while." Army Ranger Simms came and nudged his hand, and he leaned down to pet the dog. "And I do aim to see my home," he said with conviction.

Sgt. Adams said, "And what after that? We need to get these scientists to the lab as soon as we can. I can keep them safe, but our goal is to get them there, not just wander about the country."

Florida Man chuckled a bit. "We've been all around the country. But I haven't been home. Besides, don't we have, like, five more scientists to look for?"

Elpida responded, "We don't know if we will find them all on one trip, though. We cannot even be sure they are all really alive. It would be a mistake to keep them away from their work for too long. We do have to head back to Tacoma, possibly sooner rather than later."

Cecile and Jack had shown up at this point. Jack broke in with, "The United States is a big country. There are more places to check for the scientists. And moving these cars in winter is going to take some doing. We might be better off in the South."

Sgt. Adams said, "It's not yet winter, and that's precisely the reason we ought to move now through the north. We can make it back "

Florida Man finally said, "Look, Gator Goons is my gang. We will get back to Tacoma, and we'll all get there safe if we stick together. But we're gonna head South. We can search for more scientists down there too."

Elpida responded, "I just hope you don't keep those scientists out on the road for too long. And make sure that we have the supplies to make it back, too."



The decision on their next step seeming to have been made, the Gator Goons headed off the highway and in a southerly direction. They tried searching through the southern Ohio farmland for any edible crops. They did manage to find some overgrown pumpkins, and added them to the half-empty trucks. Even the bulldozer was barely carrying a load anymore.



They crossed the Ohio River a little west of Louisville, Kentucky. Someone pointed out that the Gold Bullion repository must be close by, wondering idly if all the gold was still there. Florida Man said, "Well, that might be something worth checking out."

Sgt. Adams responded immediately with, "You'd better not be getting any ideas. The Army's got that place well secured. Besides, what are you going to do with gold anyway? Buy yourself a vaccine?"

Cecile chimed in, "It'd be pretty neat to see, anyway! All the gold in the US, all in one spot!" She giggled gleefully.



The first sign that something was off was when the gang pulled up to the front gate of Fort Knox and found it abandoned. No one was there at the guard post, and the base looked like it had been abandoned long ago. Here and there were scattered bits of refuse on the ground. They continued driving on and there were more indications of something worse. A few of the bushes seemed torn out or burned. There were spent shell casings in the gutters. Black spots on the pavement suggested explosions, or fires. Then they found the rusted hull of a pickup truck - not a military vehicle, although there was the twisted wreckage of a machine gun in its bed.

"Looks like a bomb went off here," commented Cecile. "I hope things are okay inside."

"You mean like a nuke set off?" wondered Florida Man.

"No, silly," she said. "Who'd do that? I just... you know, probably it's been looted already."

The Gator Goons drove on, slowly, and rounded their way to another empty gate of the fort, and then up the road to the bullion storage. Here, too, there were even more signs of combat, with a few smashed motorcycles and one Army jeep that had been shot up in the sides.

"It's unguarded!" shouted someone when they drew close to the main repository building. Indeed, the doors of the main bunker looked to be torn open. Nobody stood on guard, and on there seemed to be a faint glow of gold from somewhere inside the structure.

Soon more people started shouting, and rushing toward the door. In short order, the vehicles had largely been abandoned. Jack was futilely shouting, "Wait! Wait!" as the unruly mass ran into the building. Cries of "Gold! Gold!" could be heard as footsteps echoed down the stairwells.



Then, the gunshots started. At first, there was a shout and some people rushed upstairs, possibly fearing and ambush from hidden guardians. Before long, however, the gunfire was repeated sporadically, and sometimes it was cut off in the middle as if unnaturally. From below, there were more sounds of a melee.

Florida Man had dismounted and finally reached the building. He dreaded heading down into it, but Jack and Sgt. Adams spurred him on.

He said, "Okay, Adams, you stay up here, make sure it's safe on the outside. Me and Jack'll go down." They pulled out their guns and headed down the stairs. Elpida followed after. Dr. Kassabian had come up to the group and asked those standing guard, "You think I should go? See if anyone's hurt?"

When he got down, Florida Man witnessed a scene of intense carnage. Dozens of bodies lay on the floor and many had been shot in the stairwell with their hands still wrapped around ingots of gold. Although the fighting had mostly subsided, Florida Man fired off his gun in the air to silence the room. He announced, "Nobody gets the gold. We're heading out now."

Dr. Kassabian and a few others descended to care for the injured and remove the bodies to be buried outside the fort's compound. He noted that there was more dried blood on the ground in places where none of the Gator Goons had fallen.



Fleeing the fort, the gang regrouped and headed back to Louisville. While the town was quiet, it seemed to them almost as if it were under a cloud. Scouts they'd sent out earlier told them that it was a Reborner zone. Florida Man wandered through the city and one of the white-robed members of the group came to talk to him.

"You look troubled," she said calmly. She studied his face and said, "Oh, you've been to Fort Knox. Here for the gold I suppose. You should learn, like us, to abandon your selfishness."

Sgt. Adams asked, "Do you people really control this town? The fort too? And you don't do anything to guard it?"

"We find we don't really need to," the woman smiled. "Such things as gold we do not desire." She paused a moment, giving the group a long stare. "Only outsiders come for it... but they never leave with it. It's a problem that takes care of itself."



Elpida did some inquiries around the city and found a few remnants of former gangs that had torn themselves apart in their own attempts to secure the gold reserves. "Let us leave this cold city, and never come back," she suggested, and Florida Man agreed.



The goons found a calmer, more relaxing atmosphere in Nashville. There, the Tennessee 'Volunteer Guard', as they called themselves, had established the law. They were largely made up of former members of the military, but not necessarily answering to any higher authority than their own units. The Gator Goons were able to breathe a sigh of relief after the tense situation in Kentucky.



A small bunch of cannibals did wander into the town, but the Gator Goons, with the help of the Volunteers, made short work of them. Sergeant Adams was starting to turn a lot of them into experienced soldiers.



It was undeniable at this point, though, that the food situation was dire. Instead of heading off on the highway through the mountains toward Georgia, the gang tried to scour the countryside in a search for working farms. There was none to be found, though, and by the time the crew made it to Birmingham, they were subsisting on scraps.



Starvation was held off for a few more days by a big find at one of the Piggly Wiggly markets on the north side of the city. It seemed that here, at least, large sections of the city were untouched by looters.



When probing the local residents for news about any scientists or government crews who might have been through the town, a number of them mentioned that they should take to 'Miss Gloria', a local doctor who it seemed had helped a lot of people through the illness.

The group made its way over to the campus of the Birmingham-Southern College, where she'd reportedly set up her practice. In a red brick building that housed a former biology lab, they were met by a tall, pale woman with a bright smile. "Well, hello," she beamed when they came in. "You need some medicine, or got someone you have to get patched up in here?"

Sgt. Adams spoke up. "Actually, ma'am, we're here on a special mission. You are Dr. Gloria Mills, correct?"

"Yes, that is me. But, oh, wait, you mean to say— Alec! Gabriel! My gosh, you are here in the flesh! Well, now, what a delight!"

The doctors explained about the call to come back into the GUB. Gloria was a bit saddened that she'd have to leave behind the people of the city, but she understood that it was necessary to gather the group and combine their knowledge to really discover a cure.



Early the next morning a sizable group of people showed up outside the camp and begged to come along with the Gator Goons. Gloria explained that she had told some friends about the gang, since she figured they had to be doing something right to make it to her. Florida Man said it'd be fine for them to come along. Sgt. Adams, Elpida, and Jack were less pleased. Elpida noted that if they were going to be making down to Florida and back they could have at least let them stay in their own homes until then, and save the food.



The gang departed Alabama and pushed on to Atlanta, hoping that it would be more rich in resources. By the time they got there, even the fuel supply was rather low.



Initially things went poorly there. The first group of people they encountered feigned an interest in discussing joining up, but attacked as soon as the envoys were sent over to negotiate. Elpida managed to escape safely, but casualties were heavy.



The gang's luck turned later that afternoon, as they found a long-abandoned cafeteria in a public high school.



A few more searches and they had more than a week's supply of food, enough to safely get them to Florida.



The next day, they crossed the border into Florida. It had been more than a year for him. Florida Man just said, "I'm looking forward to seeing my house again."



They had just passed Gainesville when Cecile flagged them to slow up. "We got trouble coming!" she called out, pointing ahead to the convoy of vehicles rolling up the highway ahead. "They're all hopping around and ready to fight! A whole bunch of cannibals, by the looks of it!" she added.



Sgt. Adams gave the signal to the large vehicles to form up at the sides to provide firepower. "Those cars are fully loaded, and staying in a close formation. They won't go down easy," he shouted. The more nimble smaller vehicles pushed ahead to get around to the enemy rear.



When the Gator Mobile took the lead, there was a sudden commotion on top of the limo in the center of the enemy cars. One man stood up to full height on top, and he leaned forward as if trying to spot something. He appeared to be wearing some sort of captain's cap. A second later he screamed out and started waving, "Him! It's him! In the Pontiac, get it!"

A moment later the enemy vehicles erupted with fire, all aimed at the Gator Mobile. One of the troops on the roof went flying off.



Jack shouted out, "It's a trap! Turn around!" Florida Man wasn't sure what was going on, but he slid the Gator Mobile across the highway at 100 miles an hour and started to circle back toward the Gator Goons.



Sgt. Adams directed the vehicles on one side to take out the small Chevrolet at the front of the enemy pack; he hit in such a way that it lined up perfectly with the wrecks already on the freeway and would make that flank much tougher for the opposition to navigate.



Even as Florida Man took evasive action, the shots continued to be aimed at his car. Another casualty was lost. The only fire at the other vehicles was aimed at the tires, as if they were just trying to keep them from interfering with their target.



As the Gator Mobile passed behind the Freightliner, Cecile pushed forward several willing soldiers, telling them, "Jump on his car! Make sure you can defend him!"



Adams's trick had done the job, as the limo with the apparent gang leader on top of it had been unable to maneuver past the wall of twisted steel, and halted with a loud thump into the barrier at the edge of the highway.



The combined firepower of Harold's bus, and the two trailer trucks, polished off the other limousine without a problem.



Florida Man gave Jack a thumbs-up as he passed him in the rear of the circle he'd made away from the battlefield. Jack's own Chevy had taken two hits to the front tires, and he'd wisely retreated.



The limo had successfully extricated itself from the low highway wall, but the 'captain' who had been on board was nowhere to be seen when it turned around.



It didn't take long for the Gator Goons to fire off some well-aimed shots that took out the few people who remained inside it.



The Mack had played a little game of chicken with the bus, the last opposing vehicle. The souped-up truck had no trouble whizzing past the old bus, but as it did so it exposed itself to boarders.



They were not well-armed, and didn't seem skilled at fighting, but there were an awful lot of them.



Florida Man, gaining confidence, had brought the Gator Mobile back into the battle. "You won't take me out that easy!" He leaned to the seat next to him and said, "Ain't that right, Army Ranger Simms."



Less than a minute later, the bus, too had crashed off the highway. Most of the rest of the cannibals fled, and the Gator Goons took a few potshots at them as they ran.



One of the biggest hauls was the crates of food and fuel that had been stashed on board the bus.

Sgt. Adams said, "This stuff is military rations, at least most of it. These guys were no cannibal group. Maybe they took over the cars of somebody else." He turned to Florida Man. "But they were targeting you. Did you recognize that guy? Like, maybe when you lived down here?"

Florida Man shrugged his shoulders and said, "Can't say that I do."



It was just about sunset when they finally reached Tampa. Florida Man was awfully eager to get close to the city, but the gang decided that after the run-in they'd just had, it would be better to fully scout the town before getting in closer. Florida Man's return home would have to wait for one more day.


This week's film: Cherry 2000

Cherry 2000 (1987)

"Remember gentlemen, life's an adventure."



The film opens with a man coming home from work to his loving wife. Their house appears to be quite futuristic, although she seems to be filling the role of a stereotypical housewife from an earlier era. After dinner, they start making out on the floor. When the dishwasher malfunctions and soap suds hit the woman, she jerks violently and freezes up. It turns out that she's actually an android.

The man, Sam Treadwell, visits a repair shop and the repairman tells him his 'Cherry 2000' has had a complete meltdown and there's no way to get parts for those models anymore. He is, however, able to retrieve her memory chip (a disc about the size of a coin) and can easily place it in any new body that Sam desires. Sam doesn't seem to be enthusiastic about what's in the shop, and says he'll have to think about it.

Sam's co-workers encourage him to come to a bar and meet some real women for a change. At the bar, we see that dating has turned into a very complex affair, with all consent negotiated by lawyers in advance. There's also a typical pre-screening of previous sexual encounters, recorded holographically. Sam goes home and instead prefers to listen to his own Cherry's recordings using her memory disc.

The repairman tells Sam that he knows of a 'tracker' who can find him a replacement Cherry body in 'Zone 7'; he tells Sam to meet the tracker out in the town of Glory Hole. He heads out to a seedy motel there and looks around for the tracker, "E. Johnson". He initially balks at the fact she's a woman. He doesn't want to sign up when she tells him that the robots are kept in the 'worst part of the zone' and that he'd need to come along with her. He heads to a local bar instead to hire "Six-Fingered Jake", the man who trained E., but when the trackers there end up nearly killing him, he comes back to her.

They take off in Johnson's souped-up Mustang, and have to force their way past some barricades to get into the wilderness. According to E., they're set up by people who just 'want a little action, they're bored'. She tells him that when they get to the robot 'graveyard' in the remains of 'Vegas City', they likely will only have a short time before the alarms go off. They take a break near a large canyon, and while scouting Johnson spies the vicious gang leader Lester, who controls Zone 7.

They take an alternate route to avoid him but find that they still have to cross a washed-out ravine guarded by some of Lester's men. One of them uses a large scrapyard magnet to pick up the car and move it into position to be shot by rocket launchers, but Johnson seems unperturbed and says this is the 'best way' to get across the river. Somehow all the gang's rockets miss very badly, while Johnson's return fire is very accurate. Treadwell mortally wounds the crane operator, who is able to still move the car over the river in an attempt to drop it in. Johnson ties a rope to the magnet so they don't end up being dropped, and are instead lowered into a giant pipe. Johnson again assures him this is her plan, although when they try to descend via a rope down the pipe, Treadwell slips and they both go sliding all the way down. At the bottom, they meet a man on a barge who is happy to see Johnson, and treats them to rattlesnake broiled in one of his many surplus toaster ovens. Yes, he's "Six-Fingered Jake" and no, none of this makes any sense.

Jake asks E. what she's doing out there. She mentions the job, and Sam describes how special his Cherry is, which causes Johnson to snipe at him over the fact that Cherry is just a robot.

The next night, they attempt to go down another 'tube' but the guards spot them. Johnson and Jake get into a firefight, and Sam is struck a blow to the head from behind and knocked out. Sam wakes up in bright daylight. He's wearing an unfamiliar pink shirt, and encounters an old girlfriend of his, Elaine, who says she's changed her name to Ginger. He's a bit confused, although when she mentions 'Lester' he starts to understand where he is.

Lester returns with a man named Skeet, and that night they have a barbecue. At the barbecue, Lester shoots Skeet in the head after forcing him to admit that he's a Tracker (because Lester hates Trackers), and then the group dances the Hokey Pokey.

Elaine Ginger tells Sam that there isn't really any escaping the place, and that Lester seems to like Sam, so he should probably stay. Sam decides to get out anyway, and then is completely surprised when Johnson appears to rescue him as well as recover her car. Treadwell sets fire to the camp's vehicles and the two get away into the night. Sam believes that the Cherry memory chip was lost with the rest of their gear, but Jake already gave E. the chip and she doesn't tell him.



Sam takes over the driving since Johnson is tired, but he crashes the car. When they get out, the sexual tension breaks and they start kissing. While making out on the car, Cherry's recording that is in Johnson's pocket is triggered. Sam is hurt when he realizes she'd concealed the truth. He says that Cherry never lied to him, to which Johnson replies acidly that she's not a machine. Some of Lester's men attack, and they fight them off, after which they decide to go to the Robot Graveyard and complete the job, with Sam insisting that is indeed what he wants.

They stop at "Snappy Tom's", a junkyard/gas station, to fix up the car, and Jake meets them there. Johnson finds a small airplane and works on it instead as it'll be faster. Tom and his girlfriend Randa get a radio call from Lester looking for Sam, and Randa gives up that he's with them. Tom and Randa shoot Jake before he can get away, while Johnson and Sam get on the plane and fly off. When Lester shows up, he's upset that Snappy failed him. Randa tells Lester where the two are headed, but he gets annoyed by her and shoots her in the head.

Johnson and Sam land in the ruins of Vegas and make their way down into the abandoned casino that houses the robot shells. They start searching through the racks of robot bodies as Lester shows up outside and starts searching. Sam finally finds a Cherry 2000 and puts the memory chip inside her. She is activated right about the time Lester sees them and starts firing. This leads to Cherry, still in 'housewife' mode and clueless about the gunfight, following them out under gunfire. Sam shoots Lester and he falls down a skylight, but claws his way out as the three get into the plane.

Once they start moving, they find that they're too heavy to take off. Johnson says she has finished her job, and jumps out, allowing the plane to take off. An elated Sam turns around and shouts, "We made it!" only to encounter a blank smile from Cherry. He sees Johnson on the ground struggling to hold off the gunfire from Lester and his gang, while Cherry simply taps him on the shoulder and repeats, "I love you".

Sam, realizing he can't leave E. behind, lands the plane and tells Cherry to go get him a Pepsi. She gets out of the plane, and he shouts at Johnson to get on board. When they take off again, Lester hooks the plane with a rope, but this only gets him dragged along where he slams into a giant showgirl statue and dies. Ginger and Cherry sit down together, while Sam and Johnson fly off into the sunset.



That plot description probably makes the film sound quite disjointed and a bit crazy, and it is that, but it manages to hold together with interesting characters that keep the plot moving along, at least in broad strokes. The world is stylized and often over-exaggerated, but well-detailed enough to be intriguing. The big logical gaps don't really help, since it doesn't seem to always be intentionally disorienting. It still has some decently entertaining parts.

Even though their actions or motivations can be a bit unclear, the characters are distinctive and in terms of dialogue, well-written. Each of the minor characters has color and the acting is uniformly good. In what is probably a deliberate tweak of the Road Warrior formula, Lester and his gang look like suburbanites, and dress in bright colors. They speak in terms of maintaining 'positivity' that make Lester's genuinely psychopathic behavior all the more shocking. Johnson is a bit scattershot. It's not clear how much false bravado she's supposed to have, given how contrived the plot progression is, and Sam Treadwell is bland enough that it's hard to imagine what she sees in him. She's played by Melanie Griffith, who really does an impressive job making the character work. You can feel just how lonely she is as a sort of societal outcast, and maybe she just finds Sam attractive from the start. It really doesn't help to have the plot kind of forcing them into each other to make a point about 'real' relationships, but it's not like the film is really trying to say anything particularly deep anyway.

I do like just how the details of the world make it nearly plausible. There are neat exchanges that flesh out the structure of the society. For instance, Sam shows E. a photo of Cherry, and she notes that Cherry's eyes are 'red dots' in the photo, thinking it's because she's a robot. Sam responds it's just the flash, and if he took a picture of her they'd look the same. The moment when Sam wakes up at Lester's compound is one when the disjointed logic works particularly well, since it feels dream-like, but also matches the aesthetic of Lester's gang once you learn about them.



On the other hand, the movie isn't quite well-paced. It takes until late in the movie to really be clear within each scene what each character is trying to do, and while that does mean it ends on a strong note, by then it's hard to know if things are really going to stay consistent or not. The parts where the plot just trips along to the next beat stick out a lot more when it seems they could have been re-shaped into something more cohesive if they'd only bothered to connect the dots in a sensible way.

There is of course the fairly obvious problem with the whole premise. The film has a man who simply refuses to deal with the emotional investment and vulnerability required for a real relationship, and literally objectifies women as pleasure robots. We never even see a suggestion that male husband androids exist, and the film has very little to say about this particular treatment of women. (It is interesting that Blade Runner 2049, a film with a few strange parallels to Cherry 2000 and made roughly in the year this one is set in, doesn't go much beyond it in this regard). It's additionally a problem that Treadwell barely has to do anything to form a relationship with Johnson other than notice that she's human. Ultimately, the message just boils down to 'robot love is fake love' but never really tackles the other issues that it could have gone after.

The movie does have problems but it's certainly not the worst we've seen in the genre. I think it deserves some credit for doing things differently, and it definitely does not feel derivative. It takes a while to really get going, and it's light entertainment, nothing too serious. Even if it doesn't feel like they fully fleshed out the sequence of events, it's not hard to see where it is headed. It has its fun moments if you can manage to overlook the flaws.


Connections to Roadwar 2000



It's worth noting that vehicular combat could actually have happened in Cherry 2000, since Lester's gang at one point rides out in ATVs to get to Vegas, but the cars never get into it. The combat is rather static on the whole. Even with as many explosions and fires as this movie has, the gunfight at the end is the only halfway-decent battle scene. The connections to Roadwar seem to fit more in with how the world got to its current state.

This is not a world that has seen any large calamity (though Treadwell does mention having been in 'the war'), yet it is also clearly one in decline. Some cities seem to be functioning, and technology has advanced, but there are also clear indications of serious problems. There is a news report that mentions unemployment is 'down to 40%', and it seems as if the broken economy may be tied up with resource shortages, since recycling is considered a necessary (though bizarrely unpleasant) duty. Outside of the cities, it's a wildland, except it seems as if the only real threats are gangs like Lester's, and maybe the harsh desert environment that necessitates the experience of the Trackers. Outside of the city, we can see that the scrap business is probably thriving, meaning that manufacturing capacity just isn't what it was.

It is a world that feels a bit like where Roadwar could be headed, if some more of the cities started to fall apart. Already the road gangs can attack people in lone cars or in groups, and ruling over large open spaces would make sense after a while, especially if they were seen as valuable for retrieving scrap. It'd actually be a neat expansion if you could have territory both in or outside of cities that gave you resources in the game, but again, it's more about the road gang fights than any other aspect.

Florida Man Defends His Homeland



The time had finally come to return home for Florida Man. He drove the gang over to his old house, a little ways outside of Tampa, in the town of Mango. Scouts were sent out to find out if anyone had taken control. Meanwhile, he showed the rest of the gang around his house. It wasn't in great shape, but none of them wanted to ask how much it had looked like that before he'd left.

Reports came back that it was mostly quiet in the town and people kept to themselves, there was one group that would occasionally disturb the peace. It was a mostly ex-military outfit, from the sound of it, run by a man Captain Nono who was maybe an actual Navy captain. The gang didn't always bother people, but when he wanted something, Nono would demand it and be ruthlessly intolerant to any sort of disagreement. He also was known to be quite aggressive if he caught wind of anyone else trying to gain power in his territory.

Florida Man figured that Captain Nono must have been the guy they'd seen in the road battle.



To fix up the cars after the fight, Florida Man took the gang over to a repair yard he knew. He glanced around at the place and said to the others, "Still looks kinda like it did. I wonder if old Sweeney--" and he stopped short as a white-haired man in a Florida Gators cap stepped out of the garage. "Hey! It's you!" shouted Florida Man with delight.

"Well, I'll be jiggered," said the man. "Hell, I figured you for dead."

Florida Man ran up to him and slapped his back. Then he shouted, "So good to see you, man! Hey, check it out, I got myself a whole road crew now. We're back in town and we're gonna clean it up right."

"Well, you'll probably have to deal with the Snowbirds," said Sweeney.

"Uh...people are still coming down from up north?" asked Florida Man.

Sweeney gave a grimace and continued, "Maybe they did. A lot of them probably. They ain't local, that's for sure. But what I'm talking about is a gang. Fully armed, almost military even. They came in at the start of the year, and they haven't left yet." He hefted a wrench in his hand. "Nobody's been able to stop them from doing whatever the hell they want. That Captain, too, he's a mean one."

He took a look around at the Gator Goons and nodded approvingly at Florida Man. "Well, looks you folks might have half a chance, now."



A few more of his old friends were impressed that he'd managed to form up a gang, and signed on to help oust the Captain and his Snowbirds.



As the gang commenced their search for the Snowbirds, they heard a shrill whistle in one of the surrounding houses, and then guns from all sides were fired on them. The sudden attack left dozens of the Gator Goons dead.



Sgt. Adams suggested they regroup in a safer region, possibly in a nearby city. Florida Man was reluctant to leave his hometown so soon, but gave his assent. Almost as soon as they'd left Tampa, though, they encountered another road gang. These had been assembled from former tour buses. Instead of tourists wielding cameras, they were filled with angry gangsters armed with rifles. It looked to be a difficult fight just to get out of the city.



The Gator Goons were ready for battle, though. They moved down the highway to engage the group of buses.



Somehow it seemed that the opposition wasn't really used to highway combat in their large vehicles. One of them was unable to even move past the wrecked cars right in front of it, before even coming under fire. It crashed into the back of it and stalled.



Florida Man spun the Gator Mobile back in front of one of the buses, baiting them to try and turn toward him. This seemingly distracted the bus right behind the one that had hit the car, and it smashed into the halted bus, crumpling it into a mass of metal.



"You're making this too easy!" shouted Florida Man as he swung past the bus and fired his gun back behind him.



The remaining enemy vehicles were now well-separated from each other, and were becoming surrounded.



It wasn't too difficult for them to take out the lead bus on the median strip.



That left the lone, damaged tour bus that had showed up late. It was being hit from three sides.



The fight was over, with the undergunned tour bus easily knocked out by the experienced fighters of the Gator Goons.



The gang was quite pleased to discover that the four wrecked buses had quite the stash of food supplies on board. Their food worries were over for the time being.



Without any more incidents of trouble they headed over to eastern Florida to assess the situation with the local gangs there. The first stop was north of Miami, which they found had been one of the landing sites on the south.



There was a group of people who'd been driven from their homes by the Invader forces. They wouldn't make good fighters, but Florida Man couldn't turn down fellow Floridians in their time of need.



To his chagrin, he discovered that all of the Miami area was under the thumb of the Invaders. He promised that when he'd cleaned up Tampa, he would have to come back here and secure this side of the state as well.



The recruitment trip hadn't been a big success so far, but they were able to get the vehicles all fixed up in Jupiter.



The Gator Goons then continued back up the eastern Florida coast until they got as far as Orlando. Many among them couldn't resist heading into the amusement parks there, since they knew they'd probably be able to get through the gates with little difficulty. Florida Man though it'd be a good place for them to let off some steam.



Unfortunately everything turned tragic after a few hours inside. Someone found that a few of the generators were still working, and got a handful of the rides up and running. But without the proper repairs, or anyone properly monitoring them to see the alarm indications, the place had turned into a death trap. Three dozen people died when one of the roller coaster tracks cracked and the car on it went crashing to the ground. Several more were killed elsewhere trying to swim in one of the artificial 'rivers' of another attraction when they got caught on unseen machinery and drowned.



The dejected gang sent out the usual scouts into Orlando the next morning to see who was in charge in the city. But before the scouts could even report back, the Invader force attacked!



The victory turned out to be the one bright spot in what had been an otherwise awful week. Cecile said, "Well at least now we can relax for a bit," but Florida Man said he still wanted to get back to Tampa sooner rather than later.



The fight with the Invaders had reduced their numbers a bit. A quick search of the town yielded a number of former gangs who'd never gained the power to deal with the well-equipped army forces. Sgt. Adams handed them some better guns and got to work on their training.




When they got back to Tampa, they went on the hunt for Captain Nono's gang, but all they ran into were already-looted gun shops. It seemed he was ensuring that no one could oppose him. Elpida told Florida Man the gang seemed to be in okay shape, but it might help if they could find some local mercenaries who knew more about the gang, and she'd see what could be done about it.



That afternoon, tragedy struck. "Come quick! Come quick!" were the shouts as they spotted Elpida stumbling back into camp. Her head was bloodied and there was a blood soaking through her clothes from another wound in her leg. Florida Man and Jack helped to lift her up into Harold's bus.

"They... found me," she whispered. She pulled out the pistol that she'd always kept in her pocket but rarely used. "I got... one, and they ran off," she continued. Then, her voice fading, she said, "Get the scientists back to Tacoma. End this fight..." and she passed out.

When Dr. Kassabian arrived, he only confirmed what they already knew. She'd lost too much blood to survive.

Florida Man told them to bury her in his own backyard. He said that once it was all over and he was able to come back home, he'd have something out there to remind him of how hard a fight it had been.



In one of Florida Man's old neighborhood markets, the usual patrols found a surprisingly large supply of food. It improved the somber mood slightly. Florida Man had a renewed feeling that he was in familiar territory and should know how to fight back. The rest of the day was quiet, with no more attacks. Perhaps Captain Nono was sending them a message to get out of town.



The next day, the attacks resumed and they were fired on by hidden gunmen. Some Gator Goons fired back, but shortly after the exchange, Sgt. Adams called out that the enemy had stopped shooting. When they went to investigate the houses where they had been hit from, no one could be found inside.



More attacks continued the entire day. There were suspicions that some among them had been betraying their movements to the Snowbirds. Florida Man made the decision to leave town once again before they took any more casualties. But he swore he'd be back.



Back in Orlando, the gang rebuilt its strength again, from the remnants of the smaller gangs that had sprung up when the Invaders had arrived. It took longer than expected since no one was able to recall all the details of the agreements that had been usually negotiated by Elpida.

Sgt. Adams approached Florida Man that day in a private meeting. "I've got some concerns, sir," he began. "It's almost December. It might be good weather here, but snow will be falling in the mountains before long. It'll be even tougher if we don't head back soon."

Florida Man said he wasn't ready to give up on his hometown yet. But he did feel willing to put it to the leadership of the gang as to what would be best.

Cecile said, "We don't need to fight here. At least not right now. The mission for the GUB is important, and if we help them we'll be closer to ending this whole thing. "

Dr. Kassabian remarked, "If we keep it up down here much longer, we might as well stay the winter. And I don't know if Washington, Trotier, and Mills will be happy with that."

"I think it's only fair for us to help you make your home safe," said Jack. "We can't let Elpida down. We shouldn't have to run."

Sgt. Adams responded, "Well, if we are going to stay, we really need to find a way to win this fight."

Florida Man said, "Yeah, I agree there. We're gonna go back to Tampa and beat them. We just have to find a way to battle them in a fair fight instead of all this running around. Let me think, I'll come up with a plan."



They came back to Tampa, only to find the same deserted shops and streets every time they sought out a confrontation with their rivals.



Once again, the Snowbirds always got the jump on them. The Gator Goons lost most of the their new members when they were attacked from behind in a patrol through the north end of downtown.



With the violence in the city mounting, there were actually some who wanted to stand up to the Snowbirds, and they voluntarily joined with the Gator Goons. Florida Man felt fortunate to see a few faces in the group that were familiar to him.



One young woman who'd just signed up told him she knew of one of the Snowbird hideouts. Sgt. Adams was wary of a trap, but the group followed her to the spot and kept a close lookout all the while. She took them to a doctor's office. Inside, the furniture had been placed to barricade most of the windows, there were spent ammo casings on the floor, and a fair amount of dried blood staining the examination rooms. It didn't look like it had been in use any time recently, though.

"Well, it could have been where they were. Can't really say, can we?" muttered Cecile.

Army Ranger Simms started nosing around at the back of one of the closets. At first Florida Man thought he'd sniffed some unusual medicine, but it turned out that that there was a small hole in the back panel. He poked his finger through and pulled back the full piece of wood. Behind it were stacked a pile of automatic rifles, and a sack full of grenades and ammo. The label on the bag read 'MACDILL AFB'.

"MacDill," noted Adams. "Dammit! These pieces of trash stole from us!"

"Or maybe they were part of it," commented Jack. "They've been using a lot of advanced tactics. Some of them must have army training."

"Air Force," corrected Adams. "I mean, maybe we don't know," he added, correcting himself.

Florida Man said, "Take the guns out of here and dump them, just to be sure. Tomorrow we can check out the base."



The next morning they went down to the south end of Tampa proper, where MacDill Air Force Base was. Before they could even get to the gates, they starting coming under gunfire.

"Well, it looks we found them!" shouted Cecile as she raced to get behind a road barricade for cover.

It was clear that the base might have been too well-defended for the Gator Goons to get inside. Florida Man called the gang to fall back; the Snowbirds did not pursue them and neither side took heavy losses. The gang had finally found the enemy base, but actually taking would be no easy matter.



Rumors of the Gator Goons actually going after the Snowbird stronghold proved to be a powerful aid to bring more locals to their side who resented the gang of outsiders ruling their town.



By this time the battle for Tampa had been raging for weeks, and between the recruitment and searching for enemy gangs, the gang had actually managed to start stocking its own supply cache at Florida Man's house in Mango with extra food, as even Harold's bus was full.



There didn't seem to be any way to approach the enemy base. The ground near the guard house was too easily defended, and the rest of it. The military's fencing surrounding the rest of it made entry at any other point a difficult matter.

Florida Man tried to bait the Snowbirds out into another confrontation, but this only led to further secret strikes on the gang, despite their best efforts to stay cautious.



With the violence in the streets growing ever more frequent, many of the citizens of Tampa were starting to flee the city. That also meant that some of the braver and well-armed inhabitants in the outlying towns gathered to Florida Man's banner.



After several days, the Gator Goons had swelled to over two hundred members. Florida Man contemplated how best to stage an attack. He met together with Sgt. Adams, Jack, and Cecile to figure it out. They came up with a two-part plan: First, they'd send some of their forces in sailboats, coming from the marina toward the eastern shore of the Snowbird base. They would put just two per boat, so that the number of ships would seem to much bigger and draw off much of the enemy force. Meanwhile the bulk of the gang would come in with a more direct attack. Initially Florida Man argued for an advance on land from the far side of the base, near the flat airstrip. Adams said they'd never make it in the open ground, and a concentrated push at the guardhouse would actually be the most likely way to succeed, especially with the distraction from the 'amphibious' forces.



Things started looking bad right from the start. None of the boats could easily get to the shore as the wind picked up right as they set out and slowed their approach. The on-shore enemy forces spotted them when they were still far off, and they were easy pickings. It had been hoped that even with the actual small number of people, spread Not a single crew managed to get to the beach, with some of them just abandoning the attempt in the face of heavy fire.

Nevertheless, the signal was given to go at the gates, as their estimates of the Snowbird's size meant that they could not have that many individuals to give so much fire toward the bay and to the front of the base. Florida Man yelled out the charge and the Gator Goons surged toward the guardhouse. It actually didn't take long before they'd taken it, with hardly any casualties. With the front gates, cleared, the advance to the main base began.

That's when it all went wrong. The group moved toward the buildings under sporadic rifle fire, and they could hear shouting that they hoped was confusion in the fight on the beach. Instead, though, their thoughts turned to terror as they saw first a large tow rope, and then, slowly wheeling into view on its end, an armored car, its four large wheels slowly rolling as the turret on top rotated a bit left and right. Leering at them from the back of the vehicle was Captain Nono himself. His mouth opened up and he let out a big laugh and then shouted down to the crew, "Let it rip, boys!"

From the turret the machine guns roared, and heavy .50-caliber rounds began smacking the ground all around the Gator Goons.

"They've got an M706!" cried Sgt. Adams. "We have to fall back to the guardhouse," he said breathlessly to Florida Man. Florida Man took a second to react, because he'd just realized where he knew the Captain from. It had been from an incident a while back he had hoped to put behind him. He wasn't too proud of the fact that he'd probably smashed into this Captain's big boat while being a bit too tipsy, but he was just mad at all the rich jerks who owned those big yachts anyway.

Adams was already seeking cover. Cecile grabbed Florida Man's arm and pulled him to the ground, and they started running back. The rest of the Gator Goons were already routing in disarray. Even the guardhouse could not be held, as when more of the forces reached there, Snowbirds coming from the beach starting engaging them on their left flank. The gang had to retreat entirely from the base. In the end, over a hundred people were lost in the fight.



The battle at the base had ended terribly, but there were still a lot of people in the city who were wanting to do something about the Snowbirds. Just the fact that the gang had been engaged in their own home base by somebody was proof of bravery. It was enough to get people's hopes up.



Things were quiet for the next two days. It seemed as if the Snowbirds might have been forced to hole up at the Air Force base. Florida Man still had no good plan for attacking the base, especially with the knowledge that they had some military-grade hardware still inside.



The peace was not to last. Indeed, the strikes on the Gator Goons only seemed to get worse. Adams protested that they no longer had any time to train new recruits, and they should probably head back to Orlando to plan their attack in a safe location. Florida Man said he did not want to retreat yet again. He added that leaving town again would only delay their trip back to the GUB.

This week's film: Prayer of the Rollerboys

Prayer of the Rollerboys (1990)

"The future's comin' anyhow. It's got you in its sights."



The film opens with shots of a man rollerblading around a skate park. Interspersed with this we see a young man on a television screen giving a speech in front of an American flag. He's talking about how this generation's parents caused "The Great Crash" due to their own greed. Another, younger kid is shown trying to sell some salvaged trash he pulled from a bin. The man on the screen goes on, stating that "alien races" have taken over the country while "we were locked in homeless camps". The rollerblader comes and pulls the younger kid away from the screen as the man makes his view clear: the "White Army" needs to take back the country, and all those listening should consider the Rollerboys their new family.

We find that the rollerblader, Griffin, is a pizza delivery truck driver, although he has to carry an assault rifle on his route. The younger kid, his brother Milton, rides along with him. Griffin comes to a house on fire with a man inside yelling for help, and smashes the van into the house to free him. The person inside runs off as the police arrive; Griff is initially suspected of being a drug dealer since it turns out the house was a 'mist house'.

Later, Griff and Milty (as they call each other) encounter the Rollerboys skating in formation in a parking garage. The gang's leader, Gary Lee, recognizes Griff, since they used to be neighbors as kids. He tells Griffin that he owes him one, since he saved a Rollerboy named Bullwinkle from the fire. Milton is impressed by the gang, but Griffin tells him to avoid them.

Griff is now stuck with a huge debt to the pizza shop owner for the damage to the van. Milton, however, shows up with a brand-new van donated by Gary Lee. Griff is upset, but the owner won't give it back. Griffin is now being thought of as one of the Rollerboys, with some locals thinking that he has access to the drug mist. Milton is increasingly being drawn into the group. Even when Griffin tells him the gang is a bunch of racists, Milton doesn't seem to believe it.

Later, two plainclothes policemen see Griffin rollerblading (though he's not wearing the trademark Rollerboy white coat) and they arrest him. The police officer who had seen him before at the fire, named Jaworski, interrogates him at the station. Griffin denies any connections to Gary Lee, simply saying that they simply used to know each other. Jaworksi gets worked up, and says that Milton is going to be sucked into the gang and eventually start using mist. He wants Griffin to infiltrate the gang, but for now, Griffin says he's staying out of the whole thing.

Then Griffin discovers one night that Milton has in fact started dealing mist on the street. The situation gets dangerous when the B-13's, a rival gang, do a drive-by on some of the Rollerboys, and then chase down Griffin. Bullwinkle shows up at the last second and saves his life. Milton encourages Griffin to leave with the gang, and seems sad when he won't join them. Griffin returns to Jaworski and agrees to get into the gang, as long as they can keep Milton safe if anything happens to himself. Jaworski wants him to join up and start reporting to him, and he also wants him to find out what the gang's frequent chant "Day of the Rope" means.

Griffin completes a trial of initiation into the gang by rollerblading through a high-security port and stealing a badge (which leaves two other hopefuls dead). He then attends a rally that night as a 'dragon' of the gang. He also starts participating in more gang activities, from shaking down his old workplace to passing out free food and comic books to young kids.

He also encounters a young woman named Casey (who had earlier tried to get some mist from him), and she reveals that she's actually an undercover cop herself. She gives him his new orders, to get access to the 'mist house' where they manufacture the drug. Gary Lee tells him that Casey's brother had been a Rollerboy, and his last wish was to be buried with his coat on.

It turns out that Gary Lee is as much of a businessman as he is a white supremacist. He shows off an old naval yard that he bought from the ailing US military, and he'll be looking to purchase a power plant soon. He then takes Griffin directly to the mist operation - a sealed trailer inside the naval yard. He plans to put Griffin in charge of the operation, and gives him a healthy advance in pay.



Griffin purchases an RV, but Speedbagger, a black man whose junkyard they'd been living in, has lost all respect for him and Griffin feels he has to move away. He then finds Milton inside the RV, wasted on mist. Griffin leaves to meet up with Casey, telling her he thinks he's done enough by locating the operation. However, since the trailer is rigged with large tank of acid to dissolve any evidence if raided, she says that he needs to be put on 'kitchen duty' to prevent that.

The gang attacks the B-13's, and when Bullwinkle discovers that Griffin has let some of them escape rather than shoot them, the tension between them grows worse. Milton gets caught failing a drug test (Gary Lee has a strict rule about not using mist), and instead of Griffin helping him out, Gary Lee slaps him and then hugs him.

Griffin tries to make some sort of peace with Speedbagger, but can't reveal his real intentions, and leaves dejected. Gary Lee meets with Griffin, saying he's heard rumors that his heart might not be in it. Later that day, the gang beats up on a man whose head is covered, and Griff joins in. Then it is revealed that the man is Speedbagger (Bullwinkle brought him in). Speedbagger ends up in the hospital. Milton is now eager to get away but thinks there's no escape from the Rollerboys.

Griffin goes to Casey and ends up spending the night with her. Bullwinkle shows up in the morning and starts to taunt him about Speedbagger. Unfortunately he then spots Casey's police badge lying in the open, and prepares to shoot them. Then the two plainclothes policemen (who are monitoring Casey) come in, and one of them shoots Bullwinkle in the head. Griffin says he wants to get out because it's too dangerous for him now.

Gary Lee comes to Griffin's RV tells him that he has to take over Bullwinkle's kitchen shift the next day. Griffin agrees, then he calls up Casey to let them know to run the raid (although the two policemen answer instead of her).

The next day, he gets locked inside the drug trailer with Bango, who seems to be the one mostly in charge of the drug operation. Bango reveals to him what 'the rope' is -- an additive to the drug that sterilizes the users. When the raid happens, he has to battle with Bango until the cops show up. But the first two through the door are the plainclothes cops, who plan to kill Griffin and take all the drug money for themselves. Casey comes in behind them and shoots them first.

As the police leave, Gary Lee shows up with Milton as his hostage. He wants to trade him for the drugs, but Jaworski snaps, "No deals!" Milton then turns on Gary Lee and a firefight breaks out. Gary Lee races out and Griffin has to chase him down. He ends up with Gary Lee at his mercy, and pulls a gun on him. Milton encourages him to finish off Gary Lee, but Griffin shows mercy (though he pistol whips him, since he sees that Gary Lee is reaching for a concealed knife).

Griffin and Milton (along with Casey and Speedbagger) take the RV and head toward Portland, Oregon. In prison, Gary Lee informs his accountant(?) that he wants to increase their investment in the Pacific Northwest, "because that's where he's headed". The film ends with Milton wondering if Gary Lee will be able to find them, and Speedbagger promising that they'll be fine.



The film only barely meets the standard of being a 'post-apocalyptic' film, especially since it gradually becomes nothing more than a gang-panic movie of the type that was common in the early 1990s. There is the set-up of an economically devastated USA, and the inclusion of Rollerblading as a futuristic mode of travel (to the extent that it's practically a sub-genre). There is of course the distressingly accurate concept of a gang of white supremacists gaining such a high degree of power; at the time it was something on the rise but not as openly tolerated as it is in the movie. It's more of an 'extrapolation to a dark future' than it is a proper science fiction story. It is also trying to be more relevant to its own time, with the obvious parallels to crack cocaine and gangs seemingly growing more powerful than law enforcement's ability to deal with them. It's not quite interesting enough in its portrayal of the future, and it's not well-made enough to pull off the dramatic themes that it seems to be swinging for.

There are a number of details that seem they should have been fixed with another pass at the script, or in the editing room. Mist, for instance, is initially shown to be taken through creepy fluorescent tubes into some sort of mask, but later on it's just tablets. You also have the vague 'day of the rope' plan which is presumably intended to target non-whites, but the drug-dealing side never shows that because it instead focuses on the shock of 13-year-olds dealing (and using) drugs. The futuristic world-building is at first a neat bit of flavor, such as when Milton has to deal with a paper map because the 'American-made' navigation system in the van is broken. Later these bits become absurd, such as Germany 'buying' Poland, or Harvard University being relocated brick-by-brick to Japan. Mostly they disappear entirely when the movie focuses on action in the last act. I will say that it does a decent job of not really calling attention to these details much. When we first see Casey, she's wearing a German Navy cap, suggestive of her association with the Rollerboys without being too obvious.



As much as it does to depict the characters believably and show how they fit into the world it has crafted, it doesn't deliver on what it seems to be going for. It is doing more than a sanitized after-school-special level of violence and danger, but it can't quite get the tone right. The film never navigates the dramatic impact of all these disturbing events very well. Jaworski's histrionics about gang life fall flat because he's mostly there to motivate the plot. We don't really see what he actually has to deal with day to day, and while it's suggested that the police force is weak, it's hard to tell if it's meant to be an aspect of the future society or a commentary on the police departments of its own time being poorly-equipped to handle large-scale gang violence. Milton's drug abuse is never all that believable either, as it seems primarily included as a spur to Griffin's story.

On the whole, the film is pretty competently made, most especially in the performances. Corey Haim as Griffin does a very good job as someone not inclined to violence but able to push himself to it (it's believable that he seems unwilling to kill but will fight or hurt someone if he feels it necessary). He has good chemistry with Chris Collet as Gary Lee; there's a feeling of real friendship that is nevertheless tinged with a certain amount of mistrust and resentment. There is a distinctive visual style to the film, although I'm not sure I like it -- most of the outdoor scenes have very obvious optical filtering. It seems to be there to indicate a 'future' with environmental degradation, even though the scenery never quite looks like anything other than the dingy parts of late 20th-century Los Angeles. My reaction to it may just be that I'm more used to seeing such tinting handled by computers as in modern films, and so it sticks out a bit more here.

Even if the film manages to feel like it got something right with its prediction of an economic collapse spurring an increase of white supremacy in America, it's still stuck with a 1990 attitude toward it. In particular, the main focus is almost never on the effect this could have on society as a whole, but primarily on how it affects these young white men. Speedbagger is the only positive non-white cast member, and even he is barely there except to show how Griffin feels about betraying him. The white supremacy isn't highlighted much outside of the rally scene, though I suppose we can't expect it to accurately have predicted just what it looks like when these views start to become disturbingly absorbed into mainstream American politics. But even with its commentary on gang culture, it doesn't seem to know where it is heading or if it made its point. Much like its own ambiguous ending, the film doesn't quite feel tense; it just feels confused.


Connections to Roadwar 2000



As I've said, the film isn't much of a post-apocalyptic one, but the dark future it portrays actually seems a bit in line with the version of events that resulted in the Roadwar 2000 world. We don't get anything of what the 'Great Crash' was (presumably it's meant to hint at the 1987 Black Monday crash), but it appears that some countries are still rather prosperous. In Roadwar we can presume the pandemic has spread but the societal collapse means little news of the outside world is known. The city of Prayer of the Rollerboys seems to still be at least partially functional, or maybe it's in a recovery state. There is one point when Gary Lee says he plans to "Buy back America" to a Japanese businessman (who responds "Who'd want it?"), and given the talk of 'previous generation', we can imagine that the movie is likely set at least a decade or two past the aforementioned crash. Probably once things have settled down in the post-pandemic society of Roadwar, such semi-functioning cities that are slowly being taken over by gangs might well be a common sight in that world as well.

There isn't much of a connection to the game in terms of the gangs, either. You do have a few gang battles, but the film (to its credit) does a decent job of hardly ever making the violence look pleasant. Most of the time you just end up seeing the victims being hit, even in the case of Rollerboys being gunned down by cops, it's not glorifying their death any more than it is making the action out to be exciting. That can be taken a bit too far, though, as when the attack on the B-13's is shown almost completely in slow-motion. Interestingly enough, it does seem to make the rollerblading look pretty cool, but that is mostly used for racing or just skating around the city. The foot combat in the game is too abstract to really allow for anything interesting in terms of mobility, and the vehicle combat is well beyond the level of speed or detail to include pedestrians; it is something that I occasionally wish could be mixed, but I can tolerate that including more and slower units would probably bog down the interface to an unacceptable level.

Florida Man Has to Fight to be Free



Tampa was becoming a war zone. Many people had fled the downtown core. Some of the citizens were no longer interested in joining either side. When the gang tried to recruit them, one of them said, "We're just waiting to watch the whole place burn."



Of course, there were many others remaining in the city. Some found themselves trapped, with no means to leave. The best they could do was hope for the fighting to stop. In amongst them were some ragged individuals who looked like they'd been through hell. They were clearly starving, and desperate to survive, they agreed to join up with the gang.



A gaunt man with thinning black hair on his head and an untrimmed mustache threw in the comment, "Sure we'll do anything for some food. But can't you guys work out your problems?"

When he heard the voice, Florida Man said, "Hey, you sound familiar..." He walked over and squinted at the scruffy man and then cried, "Wait, Blas? Is it really you?"

Florida Man stuck out his hand and ran it along the rough skin of the other man's shoulder. His smile broadened and he gave him a hug, which caused the other man to smile awkwardly.

"Come with us, man!" said Florida Man, and with a twisted smile, the man nodded his head.

Blas, or Mr. Alvarez as he came to be known to the others, proved to be a capable recruiter, since he knew the area well. He was also able to bring in some troops who were more comfortable speaking Spanish than English. Even if he didn't strike the others as the most skilled negotiator, and wasn't about to fill Elpida's shoes, he had a relaxed attitude about him that put people at ease. He made them hopeful about the Gator Goons' mission to overthrow the Snowbirds. The numbers in the gang began to grow steadily.



The Snowbirds still seemed to know just where to hit them. Many grew suspicious of the newer arrivals to the gang, and Blas came under suspicion as well since he was doing most of the recruiting. Though with the casualty rate they were seeing, turnover in the gang was so high it was hard for anyone to tell who could really be trusted.



But it was Blas's observations that revealed one of the normal patrol routes that the Snowbirds had been using around the city. For once, the Gator Goons got the jump on them. It was a small victory, but a victory none the less.



As the month of December rolled on, Sgt. Adams and some of the rank and file members began to grow impatient. Trotier and Washington complained that they'd expected to be taken to the lab by now, not stuck at the end of the country farthest from it. They didn't see much point in staying in Tampa when the Gator Goons had the means to travel. Adams complained that the journey was only going to get tougher the deeper into winter they delayed their start. He suggested that at the very least, they get out of the conflict zone in Tampa and make a final decision as to where to go next.

Florida Man finally agreed that proper planning would be easier to do back in Orlando. He figured new members recruited there would be less likely to have loyalty to the Snowbirds. As much as it pained him to leave Tampa once more, the Gator Goons drove back to their temporary headquarters in one of the city's many abandoned hotels.

They held their meeting on the couches and armchairs of the hotel's ground floor lobby. After two hours, no agreement could be found. Florida Man was hoping that the group would stick with him to free Tampa, but he knew they couldn't just stay there if the gang started to tear itself apart with dissension. Yet no one was quite willing to start a mutiny. Even Adams remained respectful, as much as a argued in favor of leaving. Florida Man felt they were waiting on him to make the decision.

He decided to take a walk up to the upper floors to clear his head. While meandering down the hallways, he heard an unusual sound from one of the distant rooms. The faint sound of music could be heard, as of someone strumming a guitar for a bit and singing snippets of some unknown song.

The room was crammed not just with keyboards, guitars, and drums all around, but mixing consoles and amplifiers as well. A man with shaggy, sandy hair was seated on a barstool in the middle of it all. He appeared to have crafted some sort of studio.

"Oh, hey there," said the man. He lay the guitar in his hands down on the floor next to him.

Florida Man looked him over and had a glint of recognition. "Hey, aren't you-?"

"Yeah, sure," the man replied, his sad eyes taking on a bright twinkle.

"Well, uh, it's sure great to meet you, Mr., uh-"

"Tom is fine."

"What are you doing stuck up in here, Tom?" wondered Florida Man.

"Well, this was the only place nearby that had power. And I figured I could play up here without bothering too many people. Kind of a nice view out the balcony, too. Sure would be nice to have a few others around. I wouldn't mind having some of my old band with me now. A keyboard player'd be especially nice," he mused, looking around the studio.

"I always imagined you'd somehow still be around whenever the world collapsed," mused Florida Man.

"I suppose. There wasn't anywhere else I was going to go. Just got lucky this time," responded Tom with a grim expression. "It'd be nice if we could still be out on the road performing songs. I don't know what else I'm quite as good at as that, and it's hard to know if this world can handle that now."

He lit a cigarette and then cocked an eye at Florida Man. "So what are you guys up to? Looking to have some fun at the old park? Better be careful if you head in there. I heard some folks had a rough go of it in there."

Florida Man responded, "Yeah, uh, I know."

Tom chuckled. "Was that you? Oh, wow, man, I'm sorry. Guess you learned your lesson." He took a pull on the cigarette.

Florida Man said, "Anyway, we're planning... stuff. See, we got a problem over in Tampa. There's this gang there, the Snowbirds they call them, and they're ruining the town. That's my home, you know."

"Sounds rough, man. But what are you planning? Gonna run them out? Someone else'll probably come in after them to ruin it no matter what. That's just how it's been going."

Florida Man dropped his voice a bit. "Well, see, me and my crew, we got a plan. We kind of have—" he lowered to a whisper "— the government on our side."

"Yeah?" asked Tom.

"Well, we might have a shot to end this thing for good. Or at least make it better."

"I don't know. Not sure if whatever government is left is really gonna help you. But if you feel like the right thing to do is go take your town back, you do it." He paused for a moment and took a good look at Florida Man. "Don't just do it for whoever you happen to think is in charge."

Florida Man took a step to the side. "Yeah. Definitely." He suddenly stood up straight as he noticed Tom's cigarette had burned down to almost nothing. "So we'll just be down below. We won't bother you. Gotta plan out our next steps."

"Well, you do what you gotta do. I'm gonna be up here playing, maybe hit the drums for a bit. Good luck with the planning, I guess."

When he returned to the group, he had a new-found determination. Everyone in the room stopped talking when he came in, and their eyes turned to him. They could sense his confidence and knew that what he said would decide the matter.

All he said was, "I won't back down."

The Gator Goons headed back to Tampa one last time.



Most of the stores had been looted, some even multiple times, but they continued to check them thoroughly. Removing the guns from the local shops in Tampa was more about making sure no one else had access to them than obtaining more for their own side.

Cecile had a laugh when she discovered that one of the stores had a big stack of inflatable pool toys, including some bright green plastic alligators. She excitedly cried, "Hey, let's take some of these!" and filled up a bag.

Florida Man examined one of the toys. "Inflatable Gators? Like for a swimming pool? Sure, I guess we could use a few mascots." A moment later, he turned back toward Cecile. "Hold on, I just got an idea. Yeah, we're taking the Gators."



Once they got back to Florida Man's house, he gathered the gang leadership together to inform them of his new plan. He made sure the doors were locked so nobody outside of the group could tell.

"What I have in mind, what's been kicking around in my head ever since Cecile found this batch of toy gators—"

Cecile interrupted, "Can we call them inflata-gators?"

He smiled slightly and then continued. "We take the inflata-gators, and we use Beer Can Island."

"Beer Can Island?" asked Adams.

"It's out in the middle of the bay," said Blas. "But it's still pretty far from MacDill. You'd need a boat," he said to Florida Man.

"Well, that's where the gators come in," said Florida Man. "With an inflatable gator, it'd be possible to swim the whole way."

Jack said, "We'd be sitting gators out there on the way to MacDill though. We'd have to keep our guns out of the water, and they'd see us coming from too far off. I don't see how we can make any sort of attack, especially with that big-ass military vehicle they've got."

Adams interjected, "Well they probably only have one of those and it didn't look like it's mobile. We can handle the M706 with an attack from multiple sides. We'd need more numbers for that. Failing that we would need some light anti-tank weapons; one of those would take it out right quick."

Florida Man said, "Or, what we just need is a way to distract them." He turned to Jack. "See, we aren't going to be attacking from the gators. What they're for is to get just one or two people on shore, inside the base. They wouldn't be armed except for knives and wire cutters. The idea is to go in and sneak over to the fence by the airfield. You cut a hole in it. And actually I was thinking you would be good for that, Jack."

Jack responded, "Okay, that sounds risky, but I might be up for it. I just want to know how a hole in the fence helps us?"

"Well, the next morning, we start with a fake attack back at the front gate. As soon as they roll over their armored car, we crash in from the side, through the broken fence. That's something they wouldn't expect, seeing as how they don't know there's a hole in it yet. Sgt. Adams, I'd have to be at the head of the fake attack so the Snowbirds will buy it. I would hope you can lead in the charge through the fence."

Adams said, "We'd have a lot of ground to cover. I think I can do it, but you'd have to give me the best squads. And make sure that you all don't actually try to push from the front gate. You will get wiped out for sure."

"You can take your pick of the forces. The front-gate group will stay close to the cars, so we should be safe."

Jack questioned, "This Beer Can Island, if it's far off from the base like Blas says, would we really need to take the gators there? How about if we let a ship just kind of float in on the tide? They might be alerted, but they might see those bright green gators out there just as easily."

Adams said, "Okay, I like it. What I think I like best here is that we can maintain a high level of secrecy on Jack's mission. Nobody outside of us and the ones going will need to know about it. If we go down and let a few boats loose, and then drop some of the, uh, inflata-gators in the water later, all any spies will know is that we're up to something. They'll figure a new strike by sea or something. By the time we're in attack position, it'll be too late for them to warn the enemy." Then he looked around the room and commented, "We just have to keep a lid on it. We do it right, maybe we'll be on the road to Tacoma by Christmas."

"Then it'll have to be us who go down to the marina and send off Jack," said Cecile. "I want to be there for that. And send out more inflata-gators later," she beamed.



In the late afternoon, as the sun was heading downward toward the Gulf of Mexico, a few stray boats slipped listlessly in on the tide and toward the south end of Tampa. One of them got beached on a tiny dot of sand in the middle of the bay. Inside that one hid Jack and two trusted companions. One of the other boats floated close by MacDill and the Gator Goons could hear the Snowbirds taking potshots at it. The one on the island ended up ignored.

A few hours past midnight, the men inside the boat crept out on to the island. A feeble half-moon was shining through the thin cloud layer overhead. The men inflated their gators and started the mile-long swim to shore. At the same time, another fifty inflated gators were released farther out in the harbor from a smaller boat captained by Cecile. She tossed them gently in the water with a whispered, "Get to shore, my pretty little inflata-gators!"

As dawn was breaking, Florida Man led the rest of the gang to the south end of Tampa, out to the main entrance of the Snowbird base at MacDill. The vehicles were parked a little ways out of the gate, to mask that one third of their force had already embarked toward the west end of the base.

"I hope they made it," Cecile whispered to Florida Man as she climbed down from the truck.

"If not, this is going to be a much harder fight than we thought."

It did not take long before the Snowbirds sounded the alarm when the Gator Goons approached. Florida Man led the charge, and opened fire even before they were at any sort of range they might be expected to really hit the enemy. He could still see Captain Nono marching out from the rear of the base. He gave hard look at Florida Man, then glanced around suspiciously. While waving to one crew to come near, he started giving orders to a man next to him. He pointed briefly to his right, and the man took off with two other soldiers... toward the beach, on the east side of the base.

This did not go unnoticed by Cecile. "They're worried about the inflata-gators!" she almost yelled.

The other crew that Captain Nono called over ran off toward a large building, and a short while later the dreaded M706 rolled out into view. Florida Man noticed that they'd even positioned it to cover a little farther back than he'd hoped, but it was angled more as if expecting to deal with threats from the beach than from the airfield side.

"C'mon Jack, now, I hope you got them in!" he cried out as he ran for cover near the entry guardhouse. He continued to fire his rifle in the direction of the Captain, but paused a bit longer between shots as he prayed to hear the noise of an attack from the enemy's flank.

Nothing could be heard so far. The .50-calibre guns once again roared over the battlefield, and more of the Gator Goons ran for cover where they could. Suddenly they heard shots coming from one of the near buildings, a bit to their right but much closer than expected. It wasn't close enough

Captain Nono directed fire straight down the roadway; he wasn't hitting anyone, but it reinforced the notion that the pathway to retreat was cut off. He let out a roar and laughed as he fired another burst. "What'll it be, now?" he shouted. "Your little gator stunt didn't do anything to impress me! Toys are no match for real weapons!"

A rapid burst of gunfire into the building behind him interrupted his taunting. More shouting followed, and some of the Snowbirds could be seen fleeing into the lane behind the M706 before being cut down by shots from the side again. Captain Nono whipped his head around and shouted at his crew to start wheeling him back, but he already had a look of panic on his face.

"It's them!" cried out Cecile. Florida Man rushed around the side of the guardhouse as the commotion increased. He ordered Cecile to focus fire on the nearby building; with Nono still trying to reposition, they could probably be handled without difficulty. All the while, they could hear the approaching blasts of fire from the west side of the base growing more frequent and louder.

The battle lasted only about five more minutes. Captain Nono had been shot through the stomach and was leaning heavily on the side of the M706 when Florida Man approached. He saw Florida Man, and then saw Blas standing next to him, and gave a look of disgust. "Ugh. Figures..." he muttered, his consciousness fading. He staggered, bent over and seemed about to fall. But he stood back up with a pistol in his hand, and waved it tremulously in Florida Man's direction. A shot rang out. Captain Nono's head slapped against the vehicle.

Florida Man turned in the direction of the gunshot. It was Jack.

"Where'd you get a gun, man? I thought you came over without one," said Florida Man, grinning gratefully.

"We procured it on the base," responded Jack. "We saw Adams come through right on time and started our own firefight from the rear. Really confused the hell out of those Snowbirds!"

Sgt. Adams himself had now come over with his own squad. He was grimed with sweat but smiling. "We'll do a sweep of the base, but I think they're going to give up now."

Florida Man asked "Hey, what took you so long? I thought we were going to get hung out to dry at the gate."

Adams said, "We didn't go firing off as soon as we could once we got inside the fence. You have to wait for the right moment. I could see your position and went to the right place to trap that Commando." He gave Florida Man a slap on the back and continued, "You did a good job making the distraction, sir. It takes guts to hold down your position in the face of that kind of firepower."




With the ruthless control that the Snowbirds had held over the city lifted, more residents were willing to come out and help. One woman in particular said that she'd heard about the Goons stunt with the toy gators on the beach, and suggested that using real gators in combat might have been more effective. Florida Man said he kind of liked the idea, and might have to consider it the next time.

Mr. Alvarez brought many on board to create a new Gator Goon-led city government. Florida Man came over to talk to him after the city council was established. "By the way, Blas, what was that about in the fight? You know, the Snowbird guy said something to you when he died. Like he knew you."

Blas looked down, then off into the distance. "That guy, Captain Nono? He once came to me, early on. When the Snowbirds were first gaining power. I told him no, back then. He must have remembered my face." He paused a bit, and somewhat hesitantly, added, "I was thinking for a while, back when it was so tough, that maybe I should have joined up with him." He grasped Florida Man's shoulder and smiled warmly. "But I think it's so much better that we met up. Let's go out and have some adventures, all right?"




They stopped briefly in Orlando. Florida Man said he wanted "to go see someone," but when he checked the hotel, Tom was not to be found.




Jacksonville was luckily not under the control of the Invaders or any other gang. A few local groups were vying for power there. Florida Man expected that when they got wind of his exploits in Tampa, they'd be sure to give the Gator Goons the respect they deserved.



Indeed, news had gotten around. Some of the local gang members decided to join up.

Florida Man said he wasn't interested in trying to do more in the town. Sgt. Adams said he was relieved that he wasn't going to try to take over "the whole damn state single-handedly". Harold commented that he was going to be glad to finally get out of Florida.



Jacksonville was left behind in a hurry. Florida Man took the Gator Mobile and led the gang off northward into Georgia as fast as they could, desperately hoping to make it back to the GUB before the winter weather made it even harder to get over the mountains.


This week's film: The Warriors

The Warriors (1979)

"Warriors, come out to pla-a-ay..."



Synopsis
(original cut, see below for note on the director's cut)

The film opens with nine members of a New York street gang, The Warriors, on their way to a city-wide conclave of gangs set up by a man named Cyrus, the president of the largest gang in the city. They have to travel to the Bronx, far away from their own territory in Coney Island, and cannot bring weapons. They come wearing their own 'colors', maroon leather vests with the name 'Warriors' emblazoned on the back. As they ride the subway to the meeting, we also see a few other gangs in their own distinctive outfits making their way to the Bronx.

At the meeting, Cyrus declares that if they were to all band together instead of fighting each other, they could run the city. Unfortunately just as the crowd is cheering in support of his plan, he is shot by one of the gangs that secretly brought in a gun. Chaos erupts and the police (who were monitoring the crowd) start to move in.

The man who fired the gun points the finger at the Warriors, claiming that they were responsible for shooting Cyrus. The leader of the Warriors' delegation, Cleon, denies it, but is grabbed by many in the crowd and apparently beaten to death. The rest of the Warriors flee to a nearby cemetery to regroup. With Cleon gone, Swan assumes command of the eight remaining Warriors (over the initial objection of another man, Ajax) and they head to find the subway home.

We then see that the Gramercy Riffs, Cyrus's gang, are demanding that the Warriors be caught — alive or 'wasted'. The message goes out via a local DJ who plays "Nowhere to Run" dedicated to the Warriors. A large number of gangs start to gear up to come for them, as it's clear the truce is over. This also includes the Rogues (the ones who actually shot Cyrus), who are hoping to kill the Warriors rather than let them be taken alive.



As the Warriors get close to the train station, Swan pauses for a moment. They then spot the passing bus of the Turnbull A.C.'s, a skinhead gang. With the train approaching, they have to make a break for it. They get on board just in front of the Turnbull A.C.'s and start their journey home.

They aren't able to get far before a fire blocks the train tracks, and they're forced to go on foot. A short while later, they spot some gang members that they identify as the Orphans, who are considered so far down they weren't even invited to the meeting. The Warriors negotiate with them and are about to pass peacefully, when a woman comes out of her building and berates the Orphan leader for letting them go without a fight. The Orphans leave and the Warriors start to head for the next subway station, with the woman, Mercy, taunting them.

As the Warriors head for the station, Mercy cautiously follows them. They turn the tables on her and imply they might rape her, but then the Orphans return ready to fight. Swan improvises a Molotov cocktail to create a distraction and they make a break for the train. Mercy also ends up on the train with them. At the next stop, they notice the train seems to be held on the platform without moving. The spot a policeman outside the train and realize they have to get out. The group gets split up; three of them get on another train and ride off, one gets into a fight with a cop and ends up thrown in front of a moving train, and the other four (including Swan) make it safely outside the station.

Swan's group immediately encounters another gang, the Baseball Furies, who have brightly painted faces, wear baseball uniforms and wield wooden bats. Two of the Warriors get separated, including Ajax, who defeats one of the Furies, and then eventually the Warriors beat down the rest.

On the way out of the park they pass a lone woman sitting on a park bench. Despite the insistence of the others not to waste time, Ajax says he wants to go after her. When Ajax attempts to assault her, she turns the tables on him and handcuffs him to the bench. She signals to police officers and Ajax is arrested. Two of the others head back to check on him but take off when they witness the arrest. Swan continues ahead.

The other three that had made it on the train get to the next subway station, and expect they'll have to wait a while for the others. They spot a group of women and follow them back to their place, and they seem to think it's a good chance for them to get some action. The women mention that they've actually heard of 'the Warriors'; when asked where their 'men' are, they say they're away up at the Bronx meeting.

Swan heads into the next station alone, where he encounters Mercy. They are about to get on a train when a police officer sees them and gives chase. They run into the tunnel to get away. There's a brief argument between them as Swan disapproves of her (presumed) promiscuity, and she defends her decision to get what she wants while she can. They kiss, but Swan breaks it off.



Back with the other three, the group of women say that they're the 'Lizzies' and for a while, the Warriors get to relax. But then one of the Lizzies locks the door, and says she knows exactly what the Warriors did to Cyrus. They all brandish weapons, including guns. The Warriors improbably escape with only one of them getting mildly injured. They are now aware that all the gangs in the city are after them for the death of Cyrus.

As Swan and Mercy head out of the tunnel into the next station, they spot a few roller-skating men in overalls tailing them. Just as they start to get worried, the rest of the Warrior group returns. They all head into the bathroom to hide and the enemy gang (the Punks) follows them in. The Warriors are hiding in the stalls, and a full-on fight breaks out with even Mercy joining in.

With the punks defeated, the Warriors are finally together and on the train heading to Coney Island. They're exhausted and nearly falling asleep as they contemplate Cyrus's dream of a unified gang controlling the city. As they get back to their home territory, the sun is coming up over the city.

As they head into the safety of Coney Island, the Rogues show up driving slowly behind them. The Warriors get away from the vehicle and arm themselves. The Rogues' leader, Luther, taunts them to come out. They decide to confront him out on the beach. The Rogues approach and Swan asks Luther why he killed Cyrus, and he replies he "likes doing things like that". Swan challenges him to single combat. He draws his gun and as he's firing, Swan throws a knife into his hand, causing the shot to go wild.

The Riffs have now shown up, but a witness to the crime revealed the true culprit to them already. The Warriors are allowed to go free as Luther and the Rogues are swallowed up by a crowd of Riffs. Over the radio, the DJ apologizes and plays Joe Walsh's "In the City" as the closing credits roll.



This film is well known for being an adaptation (by way of a book that provided the modern-day gangland setting) of an ancient adventure story, the Anabasis by Xenophon. The Anabasis relates the ordeal of a group of Greek soldiers trying to make their way home from Persia after their leader is killed. There are several nods to the source in the character names and a few lines, but even without knowing the connection, the film works perfectly well^*. The time-tested plot allows The Warriors to have a solid if simple story. What makes the movie work is how well it builds the world in which this story operates.

It's very much a cult film -- the kind that might not have broad appeal, but has something some fans really love. While filmed and set in real-life locations around New York City, the film isn't particularly tied to reality. While there is a fair amount of detail to the characters, they can be difficult to distinguish on first viewing, as they aren't the focus of the story and can easily be missed. It's a film that does reward multiple watches well, as all the parts are consistent even if difficult to take in initially. It is constructed with a particular style that if it works for you, you can have an enjoyable thrill ride through a dangerous city in a world that's crazy enough to make a certain sort of sense.

Something it really handles excellently is a near-perfect sense of progression. The geography of the Warriors' route makes sense as they move through enemy territory and in and out of each subway station; there's always a sense of how far they've come and how far they need to go. This is done not just by faithfully adhering to proper New York City geography, but in the lighting and scene construction, as well as the performance of the actors. With each new gang they encounter, they gain a bit more in power - they start out unarmed and fleeing, then fight the Baseball Furies with just their fists, but later have enough weapons (obtained from their defeated opponents) that they can counterattack the Punks. As the night wears on, they are also growing more fatigued, and the danger never lets up. Even when they have nearly made it to safety, they are faced with one final test, at a moment when you know they are least likely to have the stamina for a big battle. All of the editing and pacing of the movie works in this direction as well.



For as much as the plot is timeless, some elements of the film are stuck in the era it was made. This is particularly noticeable with the treatment of women. For one, violence to women is seen as a completely acceptable part of life for these young men -- the objections to Ajax's intended dalliance with the woman in the park appear to be more along the lines of not wasting time than on the basis of any moral objection to what he might do to her. That scene is even heightened when for a brief moment it's not clear if even after she's caught him that she'll be able to properly restrain him. The character of Mercy certainly seems to be largely attracted to the Warriors, and Swan in particular, on the basis of wanting a sexual encounter with someone who might be perceived as more 'powerful' than the Orphans in her own neighborhood, or at least just different. The one all-female gang, The Lizzies, resort to what would be considered a more feminine technique of seduction and deception instead of direct combat to try to defeat them (and when they do bring out weapons, they are sadly ludicrously incompetent at using them).

All of this is done with enough of a realistic bent that it does feel more like it's trying to depict things as they are instead of making statements about them. While the violence is casual it is rarely brutal; each fight is there to advance the plot or show off a character, not necessarily to depict or comment on the violence itself. Race relations are present but again hardly important — some gangs are all one race or another, but most (including the Warriors) are a mix reflecting the diversity of New York itself. Also of note is that the Lizzies are clearly coded as a lesbian gang, yet the film does not take any clear moral stance against them either, which stands out as progressive for its time. To be sure, they are being deceptive about their sexuality, but that would seem to be because they are antagonists, no worse or better than any of the other gangs standing in the way of the heroic Warriors. Even after Swan has denigrated Mercy for her sexual choices, he later upholds her dignity in a confrontation with a group of middle-class prom dates, in a wordless scene of exquisite visual storytelling.

The film manages to provide those occasional nuggets that flesh out the characters without losing focus on the primary story it is telling. It's that balance that gives an insight into these lives that seem to really exist that make it a classic. The adventure plot moves energetically, with a constant tension. There may not be a lot of thematic depth to it, especially since the universe it's in is so detached from our own, but it is all well-crafted and engaging. It is always aware of what the characters are doing and how they might react to the events around them, so that even when this gang is being attacked by men in Yankees' pinstripes and bizarre face paint who never speak, you don't question the stakes. For those who are able to get into the space of the world, it makes for an unforgettable experience.

*The director's cut has a 'comic book' framing device (derived partly from the novel) that more clearly makes the connection to Xenophon. It is also widely disliked by fans of the original since it breaks a bit of the naturalistic feel. I don't think it's a terrible version, but most of the additions are unnecessary and I'd agree with the assessment that the original is better. The director's cut is unfortunately the only HD version currently available.

Connections to Roadwar 2000



This is another 'near future' setting that is largely indistinguishable from some of the more run-down parts of the present. New York City did not seem to be all that far from being ruled by street gangs in the 1970s, and in fact there had actually been a conclave of multiple gangs not unlike the one portrayed (although it was spurred by the death of a prominent figure and was aiming more for peace and unity than consolidating power). Here, there is no widespread downfall of society, and the police are actually maintaining control fairly well, with the city mostly existing just fine, aside from the fact that it's not at all safe to be out alone at night. It is not really a post-apocalyptic genre film, just a grim future one.

On the other hand, it is also one in which the street gangs are all split into factions that don't just have their own uniform, but distinctive choice of fighting style or weapons. This aspect clearly has a major impact on the game. The themed gangs of Roadwar feel like they could easily fit in with the world of The Warriors (Furies seem likely to be a tribute to the Baseball Furies if only in name), especially as each of them has their own general territory on the North American map that meshes with the gang name. While the Roadwar plot is a bit more complex than just trying to get to home turf, there is the similar feeling of a lone gang having to deal with a wide variety of antagonists who mostly out to get them.

It's worth noting that The Warriors itself was made into a highly-regarded video game (another one I haven't played), which really seems a natural fit for it. As mentioned, there's a progression to the plot that I think fits perfectly into a game. Having the various opponents be so clearly distinguishable would make for an easy way to mark increasing difficulty as well. It's no surprise that Roadwar was drawing on those elements when creating its own big world of gangs, and I feel the movie has been influential almost more on games than on any movies that followed after it.

Florida Man Gets Lit on Christmas


The gang made good time to Atlanta. It was mid-December, but the weather had stayed clear in Georgia. Stocks of food and fuel were high, so they didn't need to take any breaks along the way to gather more supplies.


The several scientists and the top gang leadership met to decide on the best route back to the GUB. Dr. Mills suggested sticking to a southerly route for as long as possible, to avoid any potential slowdowns due to snow in the Midwest. Dr. Washington agreed, although he warned they would need to be prepared for roving mutant bands if they passed close to Houston.

Florida Man figured staying south was the better option. He hadn't liked spending a cold winter in New York all that much.


The group thus made time as best they could, speeding through Alabama with hardly a stop along the way.


On December 24th, hardly a week after leaving Tampa, they arrived in New Orleans.

Blas showed up with a bottle of whiskey in his hand and called to Florida Man, "Someone came up to me and handed me this and told me it was 'Mardi Gras'. Now I wasn't so sure on that, but it is Christmas now, right? I think the crew deserves a moment to actually celebrate all the hard work!

"Look, I know you've had some [URL=https://globalnews.ca/news/6372801/flor ... stmas-eve/]bad experiences with Christmas[URL], but don't you think we deserve to celebrate? I mean, you especially deserve a party. You took back Tampa, pal! You've got all these people to follow you! Whether it's Christmas or Mardi Gras or whatever, have some fun!"

Florida Man couldn't help but agree with that idea. The holiday party was on.



As Sgt. Adams entered the hotel lobby that the Gator Goons were using for the night, the party was in full swing. The reception desk had been turned into a makeshift bar, with tinsel slung around it to make it even more festive. Partiers were running all around the room, shouting and laughing. The hotel furniture had been overturned to clear space for a dance floor in the middle, although he couldn't tell if any music was actually playing over the din of drunken conversations.

In the middle of it was Florida Man, lit up in the strangest fashion possible. He was covered with multicolored Christmas tree lights that twinkled and flashed randomly. They were wrapped around his arms, made a few haphazard loops around his body, and then looped into a tighter crown that stuck to his head, with the rest draped on his neck like a scarf made of wires.

"Hey, Adams!" shouted Florida Man. "Come on, join the party!"

"What the hell, man!" he shouted. Adams was livid. "What in God's name is going on?" He walked swiftly over and stared down the drunken man before him.

"Check it out!" replied Florida Man, rustling the dangling lights in a way that made them seem to blink even more. "Harold hooked this up for me!" He pointed to a car battery to which the holiday lights had been wired up. He picked up the battery and twirled around in front of Sgt. Adams.

"You're right here, keeping this -- party going?" sputtered Adams. "When we've still got two thousand miles to go to get our people safe? When we're already behind schedule? How can we get to Tacoma if you're wasting time like this? Drunk off your ass!"

Florida Man threw his hands up as if there was nothing he could do. "Come on... it's Christmas! Or Mardi Gras, whenever they have it here. This is New Orleans! We just needed a chance to relax. Tomorrow, yeah, we'll be all ready to go."

"Whatever," responded the sergeant. "You're just lucky we don't really have to clean this place up in the morning. Go on, have your fun." He stormed out of the room without waiting for any reply.

Blas came tumbling over to Florida Man, and muttered, "Hey, sorry if this is ruining your plan or something."

Florida Man replied hazily, "Naw, it's okay."

Blas looked unsteadily at the man. "I mean, I am sorry. I'm sorry," he repeated. As Florida Man met his gaze he continued, "I got a confession to make."

Florida Man chuckled and said, "Oh, what'd you do now?"

"No, it's serious. I can't hold it any more. Back in Tampa, you know..." he trailed off and took a step back. "I mean, with the Captain and all, his gang..."

Florida Man commented, "You helped us out, you know. You knew his patrols, and we got him good!" The Christmas lights continued to blink colorfully around his neck as he smiled a broad smile.

Blas went on, "Yeah, but about that... he was, well, also, I told him some stuff too. He was paying me, you know, and, well, some of the times we got attacked..."

"Oh, uh..." was all Florida Man could manage. He struggled briefly to fully comprehend what had happened, but in his current state, wasn't quite able to pull it off. He clapped his hand on the man's shoulder. "Look, Blas, in the end, you know, you sided with us. That's what counts, right? It's what you did in the end. We wouldn't have taken Tampa without you." Then he shouted to the room, "We wouldn't have taken Tampa without any of you!"

A slightly confused cheer went up from some of the partiers. Florida Man waved his arms and the lights twinkled to the crowd. A few more "Whooo-hoos" went up amongst them. Florida Man turned back around. "So, you know, don't worry about it," he finished.

"I guess. Had to get it off my chest. Sorry again about the party," commented Blas and wandered out of the hotel.



The next day, Blas was nowhere to be found. Florida Man spent half the day passed out while Cecile and Jack ventured out to search for those who'd gone missing. It proved to be a nigh-impossible task, as even those who were found protested strongly that they should be allowed to have their own Christmas however they liked, without having to be deal with the gang if they wanted to be alone.



Recruitment of new members to replace those who'd gone missing proved to be tough with the untrusting locals, and Alvarez's departure only made it worse. Wandering mutant attacks reduced the gang's numbers even further. They seemed to be under a curse in the city.



The day after Christmas, they were able bring back some of those who had gone off to celebrate before, but many were still missing.



Precious time had been lost as well. As they prepared to depart the city the next morning, Adams approached Florida Man while he was checking over the Gatormobile's engine.

"Sir, I have a few things to say if you've got some time."

"Sure, man, go ahead," the gang's leader replied. He dropped the hood and walked around the car to check the tires and trim.

"You came through with the battle in Tampa. We beat them, it was a good plan, maybe a little risky, but it worked, and I respect that. I do." He paused again and cleared his throat.

"What I can't get with is that your whole campaign there held us back. For far too long. And then, when we might have needed "

"Hey, I think the men needed a break," responded Florida Man. "We all did, really. And it was Christmas!"

"But the time for celebration should come when complete our mission. Christmas I get, a little moment to relax, but we have to push on. And if you can't see it, well, I have to say I can't, well I can't deal with that, sir. We're going to be heading up through the Rockies again, I expect. When we got to Colorado, I'll be heading back in. Maybe they can find a replacement. Or maybe someone at the GUB can be assigned."

Florida Man stared blankly at his car and said, "Yeah, okay. I get it, Sergeant."

Adams continued, "I mean, the outfit's in pretty good shape, now. We've probably got food and fuel to make it, but the weather is only going to make things harder now. You'll probably be able to to get over the Rockies. It won't be easy. Either way, I won't be going with you."

"I can count on you until we get there, right?"

"Absolutely, sir," replied Adams. "That's practically half the trip right there, and I will be with you."

As he walked away, Florida Man said brightly, "Hey, Adams, if you change your mind be sure to let me know, right?"

Adams stopped mid-step and turned his head to look back. He smiled slightly and nodded, saying, "Sure thing, I will." Then he flipped his face forward and walked briskly toward the trucks.



The exuberant pace that they'd maintained out of Florida and through to Louisiana had slackened. They arrived in Beaumont, Texas, on December 28. A scouting team discovered that the Invaders had come there as well, and Florida Man wondered if it had happened before or after they nuked Houston.



Beaumont was a town that seemed to be largely depopulated, most obviously because residents had fled in the wake of the destruction of Houston. While supplies were somewhat easy to find amongst the abandoned buildings, actual people were few and far between. Florida Man had been hoping to gather a few more members to keep the gang's numbers up for any road battles they might face on the long road to Tacoma. After searching for a while, they discovered an encampment out along a bayou to the city's southwest.

They were welcomed by the leader of the group, a man in a Texas-sized white hat and fancy brown leather boots.

"Hi, folks, I'm George Walker, most people here call me 'Jorge'. Where do you all come from?"

Florida Man introduced himself and explained that they were trying to help the country make it through this tough time. Mr. Walker said he wouldn't mind trying to help the country out himself. He told them most of those camped there were refugees from Houston. He himself had come from Austin, and had gathered the survivors as he passed through the city once he heard about the bombs. After they'd made it to Beaumont, though, he hadn't been sure of how to continue onward. He figured they'd be happy to join up with the Gator Goons, and he was willing to convince others to join the cause.



On Dr. Washington and Walker's advice, they split off the highway and on to the backroads to make it through Texas. Walker said the terrain should be flat and easy to pass through, even at this time of year. "Shouldn't take more than a few weeks to get those scientists safe," he pledged.



It actually proved to be a winning idea; they made it to Waco with no mutant attacks. In the city they were able to replenish food stocks and check that the vehicles were all still in good condition.

As the vehicles were being checked on, Jack brought up a question to the leadership.

"So I've been wondering," he began. "On the roads now, we haven't had much trouble. It's like the gangs aren't out there. Or do you think they know who we are and stay away now?"

Adams suggested, "The onset of colder weather likely kept a lot of them staying near their home base instead of roaming the highways." With a pointed look at Florida Man he added, "Most of them have likely been stocking up to be secure for a few weeks in this weather."

Walker added, "Yeah, that sounds about right. I seen some of them local gangs -- you know, like the Hot Rod Lincolns -- putting their cars up in garages. They aren't putting them out on the roads right now. But they aren't the only game in town. There's bad guys out there still. Maybe a few desperate nomads still on the prowl, so you'd best not let up. Keep an eye out for them on every road."



The long slow drive out of the Dallas area into northern Texas was uneventful. It did seem as though the road gangs were less willing to come out in force during the chilly weather. As the road climbed gently into higher elevations, the wind grew colder.

It's practically impossible for me to catch using my current capture method, but every time we move, there is a message that flashes at the bottom indicating that we're being slowed by winter weather.



Before long, they came into Lubbock. It had been raining lightly for most of that day, and it was already threatening to turn to snow. A few of the locals jumped at the chance to leave the dreary and desolate town, which had been faring ever worse under the thumb of the Invaders.



That night, however, an aggressive group of mutants struck at them. The gang fought well, and many of the new recruits fought them off bravely.

"Seems unusual, them coming so far from Houston," commented Florida Man after the attack.

Dr. Mills answered, "It's been a while since that strike. They could well be migrating, now. We would expect them to start wandering, given their tendency to violence. They are searching for larger targets."



On the road out north of Lubbock, Cecile came to Florida Man and reminded him that it was New Year's Eve. She asked, "You up for any celebrating? They got a little bonfire going outside"

"I was going to maybe do something bigger, but after what happened at Christmas, maybe we have to keep it low-key. Adams isn't too happy that we lost a day there in New Orleans," responded a subdued Florida Man.

"You really think he's going to leave us?"

"I don't know. I imagine so, though. He probably wants to get back to the real military folk. We're just playing at army to him, I bet."

"Hey, don't sell yourself short. You did good work in Florida, you yourself said he told you so. And don't forget, the government chose you," she added with a smile. "Anyway, we ought to at least commemorate the end of the year. We've got a lot to look back on, and a lot to look forward to, right?"

"Alright, I won't miss out on at least a little celebration. Come on, Army Ranger Simms."

The dog barked and followed them out into the brisk night air.



As they passed through Amarillo, the business leaders were once again cold. Even before the gang had stopped in the town, a cadre of men met with them to demand a payment of their resources. It seemed more like the town management was trying to rob from them rather than stop any looting from happening at this point.



They didn't see much reason to stick around after being threatened. They didn't want to pay the 'tax', and even if they might have won the fight, there wasn't much benefit to be gained by it. Florida Man took the Gator Goons out of town as soon as possible.



When the road reached the Rocky Mountain foothills, Walker advised them to avoid heading into Albuquerque, and instead take a shortcut up the road to Las Vegas, New Mexico. Florida Man was all too happy to avoid any possible alien encounters, so he took the side route. It didn't end up saving that much time, but it was a bit shorter distance for them, and there was a lower risk of attack on the less-travelled roads.



Not long after crossing the Colorado border, Dr. Washington came to Florida Man one morning with a worried look on his face. "We've got trouble. The radiation levels are going up."

"Radiation levels? What do you mean?" wondered Florida Man.

Dr. Washington said, "I've got a Geiger counter that still works. I take a reading every day, just to check on fallout. Cause we don't know when some new mutant strain might show up. We have to be prepared for another attack from the lost ones. But ever since we came up that road it's been getting higher, and it's a lot higher today. "

Cecile asked, "So, is that like what happened down near Lubbock? Maybe the mutants are moving up into the hills too, spreading out their territory once they took out the easy pickings."

"This is different," the doctor intoned. "I'm talking about environmental radiation levels. They're going up. It's too high now for it to occur naturally, and something like this wouldn't come about just from residual presence of the infected. It's a sign of something I wouldn't expect, unless..."

"Unless what?" asked Jack, who'd been hanging at the edge of the conversation.

"Well, I'd say it's like we're headed toward something bigger. Another source of radiation, I mean. Maybe another bomb site."

"We came south through here before, though, and didn't notice anything on the way," responded Jack. "I'm sure Adams would have heard if they'd dropped a bomb somewhere around here. I bet that bunker has all sorts of detection equipment."

"Keep on tracking it, Doc," said Florida Man. "Let us know if it gets worse. And we'll put out extra guards for the mutants, I suppose."



As they headed northward, the readings only came in stronger. There had been a few more mutant assaults as well, although nothing that they couldn't handle easily. It was becoming clear that something was unusual, and they were headed toward the source of it. When they reached Fountain, a few miles south of Colorado Springs, Dr. Washington informed them that they shouldn't take the whole group any closer, or they'd be at risk for radiation sickness. Florida Man gathered a small scout team, taking Sgt. Adams along since he knew the region best. Cecile couldn't be dissuaded from volunteering to come along as well.

Colorado Springs itself had been laid waste. Most of the buildings in the city had been blasted into rubble. A light snow was continually coming down as they approached, and it softened the sense of the bomb's devastation. The roads were silent and devoid of any signs of life; even wild animals had not yet moved into the remains. The white shroud of snow that covered the town made the whole place seem long dead.

"Oh...god," whispered Cecile as they came into view of the local airport. While the shells of the buildings stayed standing, the tangled wreckage of the airplanes were littered across all the runways. The blast had thrown them all out and ripped the pieces off such that no intact airframes were discernible, just fragments and shreds of metal all heaped together.

Florida Man went over to Adams, who was staring in disbelief at a fallen street sign off to the left. With a strained voice he asked the sergeant, "So, uh, we should head to your base now? They should be safe in there... right?"

Adams's response showed little emotion. "Yes. They'll be all right, I imagine. That bunker's so deep it could take a 20-Megaton blast landing on top of it and still be fine." He paused, looking down the street again. "If they had the doors closed up. Which they should've; there hasn't been a need to open it in a while." He studied Florida Man's face for a second, and his expression darkened. "But they'll be locked up tight in there, now. Especially when they know mutants are coming. They can live sealed up at least another four months, maybe five or six if they have to. I don't know if they will open up for anyone for a while."

"But they have to let you in, right? You're one of them, I mean, that's your original unit, right?"

"Sure, but if this war has escalated, all bets are off. They're going to be locked down tight. We got a job to do down there, you know. How do we know this hasn't started happening elsewhere? Chicago, Houston, now here... you know these aren't just isolated attacks. The enemy's got more of these bombs, and who knows what their plan is. Maybe they thought they could actually knock out NORAD. Hah!" He cracked the briefest of smiles, and then turned serious again.

"Down in the mountain, they need to monitor all that, figure out what's really happening. But they won't be letting anyone caught outside back in. Not now. With this mutant virus, it's too much of a risk, I bet."

"If I could get in touch with them somehow, maybe I would. If only to deliver what information we can. See, after the plague hit, we didn't lose a lot. Our satellites are still up there. We've got a few other bases still staffed. But now we're losing a lot of connections. The network is fading as the power grid keeps falling down. There are pockets of the Internet still up, and that helps, but it's less reliable than we'd hoped. A lot of information is still being gathered, but there's no way to pass it on. We end up having to rely on ... well, people like you." This last comment was made not so much with disgust as with an air of exhaustion.

"So, we move on, then," said Florida Man, almost as a question.

"Yes, indeed. I don't think we ought to try and break through all this right now. Whole place is probably cooking and we're probably getting an unsafe exposure just being near it. We have to move. Let's head to Denver. And hope to God they haven't dropped one on the GUB site yet."



In Denver, many refugees fearing another nuclear strike were willing to join the gang, if only for the prospect of getting away from the radiation and further threats of the mutated disease.



Indeed, the mutant attacks began to come that very night.



There was no time to pause. Denver had not been destroyed, but it was in no way a refuge for them. The Gator Goons couldn't afford to stop for winter with a mutant virus chasing behind them. It became imperative to push through the Rockies come what may.

Heavy snows blocked their progress in and around the tunnels and passes west of Denver. It took over two days to make just 100 miles.



Every night came the constant threat of roving mutant bands, who were either immune to the cold or so insensate that they did not feel it destroying their bodies.



The route was a bit easier to travel as they passed into Utah, but nearly 40 people had perished in the course of the struggle through the mountains and the nightly battles with the mutants.



In Utah, Harold led them to an out-of-the way bus station that hadn't been ravaged by any local gangs. There they found some safety and a repair facility to keep the vehicles running for the next leg of their trip. Food caches, however, were getting harder to come by.



The Gator Goons spent a couple of days in Salt Lake City scrounging for more supplies. Some were in favor of waiting out the winter there, as the snow was only piling up higher, and there were still hundreds of miles of mountainous territory between them and the GUB.



Thinking of Sgt. Adams' concerns about the GUB, Florida Man made the call that they should push on as soon as they could. He didn't want to just be sitting around fending off mutants and wondering if there would even be a safe lab to get the scientists back to come Spring.



Fortunately, the roads out of Utah and into Idaho were much clearer. The weather was intensely cold, but little new snow fell over the next several days.



Boise didn't seem to be offering much in the way of food to loot, yet Florida Man was feeling optimistic. He gave the order to keep pressing onward; he was sure that it would only take a few days to get through the lower-elevation passes of the western Rockies.



But he was unaware of just how treacherous the mountain roads could be in wintertime. Icy patches caused skids off the road for the bigger vehicles, and extreme caution was needed when descending some of the steeper grades. It took another several days to make it down into the plateau of eastern Oregon, and by then the gang was nearly out of food. They took a detour off the highway to see if any farms could be found with winter stocks.



But they had no such luck. The only thing of interest they discovered was a cache of fuel and usable tires at an abandoned gas station. Frustrated and starving, someone dumped all the gas onto the tires and lit a match. The flames grew bright and before long the whole building was set ablaze. The luckless Gator Goon crew that remained loyal stood around, grateful for the slight bit of warmth it gave off as they tried not to breathe the acrid smoke that formed a black tower up into the sky.



There was no food anywhere for the group, and there was still one more mountain range to get through. Many were losing hope, with small groups breaking off to find some small farmhouse to take over. A handful of people were dying from the severe cold and malnutrition every day. There was no choice but to desperately drive up the winding roads again and hope that something better awaited them in Portland.


This week's film: Wheels of Fire

Wheels of Fire (1985)

"The strong survive; the weak fall by the wayside."



The movie opens with 'Trace', our (anti-)hero of the dark future. He drives an all-black car and wears a black leather outfit, but he has an American accent instead of an Australian one, and his car is a modified Ford Mustang. He meets up with his sister Arlie and her boyfriend Bo. Trace doesn't seem to like Bo. Bo then loses Arlie's car in a fighting match when a ringer is substituted and beats him. Then Trace jumps in for Bo. He wins the keys back, seemingly, although a riot breaks out and they have to make a run for it back to their cars.

We then get right away into a car chase with a bit of gunfire exchanged (it resembles the relatively subdued combat of the original Mad Max more than the sequel). Trace leads most of the pursuers off in one direction to let Arlie and Bo escape. They all get away safely and meet up down the road.

There's hardly a break in the action before Trace spots a gang led by 'Scourge' heading their way. Over Trace's objections, Arlie and Bo split off to go another direction; they agree to meet up in a day. This doesn't seem to faze Scourge, who just splits up his own forces to get both of them.



Trace seemingly gets cornered by the gang, but he turns the tables by blasting them with a roof-mounted flamethrower, and escapes to safety.

Arlie and Bo don't think they were followed, so they stop the car and decide to have sex (not shown on-screen). Unfortunately, they are caught. Although we did not see the sex scene earlier, we still get the first scene of a topless woman in peril as Scourge's lieutenant prepares to rape Arlie; however, Scourge shows up and fires off his pistol to stop it.

Bo, meanwhile, wanting only to save himself, begs to join Scourge's gang. Scourge allows this as long as he passes 'initiation'. Scourge then takes off with Arlie and most of the gang, leaving a few left to handle Bo. The 'initiation' begins with Bo nearly being raped himself, before they decide against it and just drag him around behind a car. Trace arrives and kills off Bo's torturers with gunfire. Bo begs to be killed and even though he doesn't look that beat-up, Trace obliges him with hardly a second thought.

Trace encounters a woman named Stinger who is single-handedly fighting off a highway gang, and he comes to her aid. She's not particularly grateful for the help, and they start out fairly hostile to each other. However, since Stinger's car was destroyed and she is apparently looking for Scourge as well, they form an uneasy alliance and she rides along with him.

We then see a young woman and her grandfather in a truck, being pursued by more of Scourge's men. Their old vehicle isn't suited for speed or fighting, so they pull over before the gang arrives. 'Grandpa' does his best to hold them off, buying time as the woman runs away. The gang captures and then brutally slashes Grandpa with a sword in the middle of the desert.

That night, Stinger refuses to sleep in Trace's car. She wanders off instead, back toward the highway. There she discovers the wreckage of Grandpa's car (with his body returned to it). Before she can return to the camp she is shockingly grabbed by a chalk-white hand that thrusts up from below and drags her into the sand. Below ground, she is taken to a holding pen where she encounters the young woman from the truck; her name is Spike. Spike is apparently psychic, which helpfully allows her to know that these are 'sandmen', and moreover that they capture unwary travelers and eat them.

In the morning, Trace follows Stinger's tracks when he finds her gone, and grows a bit suspicious near the sand. When he gets pulled down, he is ready for it and manages to overpower the sandmen, and goes on to free Stinger and Spike. They all take off together.

Farther up the road, they find the remains of an 'Ownership' convoy that Scourge ambushed. There is one survivor among them, a diminutive man who speaks no English. Thanks to Spike's telepathy, they're able to discover that his name is Mutt, and he's a True Believer who was escorting the Ownership convoy to the Believers' outpost. He asks to be taken back to the outpost.

They do go there, and meet the leader of the True Believers, a cheerful man named Whiz. Whiz is very proud of the rocket ship that is under construction at the camp. The True Believers want to leave things behind and head to 'Paradise', which Whiz says is a new planet discovered 'just before the war' that is only 20 million miles away from Earth. Spike senses genuine 'good vibes' from them and is happy to be among them.

At the outpost, Trace talks to the Ownership ambassador, a man he knows (it's implied that Trace used to work for the Ownership). The ambassador says the Ownership is trying to help 'developing nations', but Trace derides the idea that they're actually trying to help, and questions whether the True Believers should even be considered a 'nation' at all.

Trace then gets into an argument with Stinger over whether the Ownership is really helpful or not. He says that they eventually exploit those they initially claim to help, which is why he stopped working for them. He also accuses Spike of being 'used' by them as well, since she's a mercenary who contracted with them to kill Scourge. The argument ends with the two rolling around and suddenly kissing, followed by a love scene (again not shown outside of a few shots of them embracing, superimposed on the evening sky).

I haven't wanted to mention it, but every few minutes, we get a scene with Arlie. She is tormented in various ways (often with her chest bare); Scourge eventually hands her over to the gang. Even if little violence is actually shown, it's still rather unpleasant since it seems to be there just to keep the audience excited.



Trace leaves Spike and Stinger at the True Believer camp and drives off. Almost as soon as he departs, Scourge shows up and attacks the camp. He murders Whiz and destroys the rocket, and the outpost is left in ruins.

Trace spots the smoke from a ways away and returns. Spike takes the knife from one of the fallen men and is seemingly ready to fight back. Stinger says they need to make an all-out attack on Scourge's fortress. Then Trace spots Arlie's necklace on a dead gang member. He has Spike use her powers with the necklace and she's able to reveal that Arlie's being held at Scourge's fortress. Trace immediately drives off on his own instead of agreeing to help with the attack.

At Scourge's fortress, Trace is devastated to see that Arlie is so desperate for food she's willing to offer her body to the men. He takes her with him, but is forced to start fighting for his life when some gang members spot him. He isn't able to fight them all off, and ends up being taken prisoner.

Trace is taken before Scourge, who states that he doesn't really have any plan for dealing with the Ownership attack. He just has to fight them, he says, because they want to destroy his 'lifestyle'. He doesn't seem too invested in killing Trace either, since he allows his henchmen to take Trace away while he goes to prepare his defenses.

As Trace is hauled off, he spots Arlie, who managed to escape in the commotion. When he sees she's about to be recaptured, he breaks away from his captors, grabs a gun, and saves her by shooting all the gang members around him.

Trace surmises that Scourge has placed explosives as a trap for the Ownership army when they get there. He decides that they should try and foil his plans. It doesn't go all that well since they're just two against the whole gang. Arlie is mortally wounded, but with her dying breath she manages to blow the explosives, just before the Ownership arrives. The Ownership army is able to attack with full force, and Scourge's gang is defeated.

Scourge and some of his men race off in cars. Trace pursues them in his own car. He drives off below them and forces one car to crash, then runs his own car off the road from above, crushing Scourge. No, it's not clear how he went from below them to above.

Spike informs Stinger that they've won, but she was mortally wounded in the battle and does not live for long. Later, the survivors seem to be rebuilding at the outpost (not necessarily the rocket ship, though). Trace tells Mutt to take good care of Spike as he drives off into the wasteland.



From the start, it's apparent that this is little more than one of a number of Mad Max clones. It's banking on the audience being familiar with the genre so that it doesn't have to do much work to establish its world. On the one hand, that feels cheap and lazy, but on the other hand, it does allow for a somewhat efficient approach to an action movie, by skipping exposition that these characters probably wouldn't be that interested in sharing. Then again,Mad Max itself didn't spend too much time on dialogue and still constructed its world excellently.

The derivative nature of the film actually doesn't hurt it as much as the other low-budget aspects of the film-making. The editing is rather sloppy, the camera is frequently moving needlessly, and the acting, while mostly competent, is largely uninspired. The action scenes ought to be the main draw but come across as perfunctory, since they rarely serve any narrative purpose; one imagines the script just reaching a point where it says "then they fight/give chase/run around screaming". Especially during the action scenes, there's only minimal care put in to the consistency of how each scene connects to those around it. Since much of the dialogue is recorded later, a lot of interactions have less of an impact than they could have if the actors felt more present. And then, of course, there's the sexual exploitation.

I've mostly shied away from the post-apocalyptic films that fall into the exploitation category, and I've also tried not to include low-budget imitations of Mad Max. I eventually decided that I could at least show off one example that fits those definitions. This film was produced and directed by Cirio Santiago, a director from the Philippines who made many many films over a long career. He actually made at least four more post-apocalyptic action movies, some with Roger Corman co-producing, and probably any of them would have fit the bill here.

The thing I did find odd is just how unnecessary and wedged-in most of the partial nudity and sexual torture scenes in this film are. As I alluded to, they get interspersed with the rest of the plot, but since they're set away from the main action, they often feel like interruptions. To be cynical, they are probably parceled out in such a way to provide just enough satisfaction to the members of the audience who came expecting to see those scenes. The one decent thing about them is that even if they're unpleasant they are never particularly graphic, especially with respect to the implied violence.

Technical problems aside, the film would actually be okay if it discarded its derivative and trashy elements. I'd say the underlying plot is even a passable post-apocalyptic story. Hardly anything about it would need changing if most or all of the scenes portraying Arlie's degradation were cut. The plot moves at a decent enough pace that we know the stakes and don't need to show how terrible the gang is every few minutes. Trace is actually portrayed sufficiently well that he could easily handle looking a bit less like Max Rockatansky, too. He'd still be a rugged antihero, but his motivation is consistent and his minimal character growth is believable without needing to borrow anything from an iconic character.



There are a few bright spots in the middle of it all that kept me watching. The veiled political comparison of the Ownership to the USA is somewhat interesting, especially considering that 'Scourge' is portrayed by a Filipino actor. The film seems genuinely ambivalent about the Ownership -- recognizing their power to maintain stability while also being uncertain about the tradeoff that might represent -- in a way that mirrors the Philippines' own complex attitude toward the influence of the United States.

In fact, there's moral complexity in most of the characters, since they are compromised in slightly interesting ways. Aside from his attitude towards women, Scourge manages to be a villain you don't really admire but don't find despicable. He just seems to know no other way to live, and somewhat realistically, barely even cares what happens to Trace and Arlie. Stinger -- who admittedly has very little characterization -- genuinely seems to only care about getting into the action, regardless of any moral value to the fight. Arlie and Bo are two people we are ostensibly supposed to root for, and yet they are almost sadistically gleeful when they push a helpless enemy car off a cliff. Trace is shown on-screen personally killing more people than likely anyone else, and he really seems to enjoy it at times. While some of this could be chalked up to a sloppiness in the production that's more focused on the action, there is enough attention paid to the moments that flesh out the characters that I feel some of their complexity is intentional.

I also think that Spike is a stand-out character. She actually has the strongest character arc (though that's still not much of one) and is the least morally compromised, or at the very least she seems to understand the consequences of her choices. Near the end she even gets a fight scene showing that she is quite adept physically as well as mentally. She's also not inexplicably falling for the male hero like Stinger is, and unlike some of the women she's not really sexualized. Although I think that might be because she's supposed to read as much younger, even though the actor is roughly the same age as the rest of the cast.

This film has a few things that almost push it past the point of being a mere imitator, but it still falls well short of being good. What it really lacks is the energy and vibrance of Mad Max, or even that of any other action movies it wants to be like. The presence of the exploitation scenes likely make it not worth watching, even if they are easily ignored. It does do a few things in its own way, and one gets the sense that with more effort put into the production, it could have been an entertaining and even respectable post-apocalyptic film.

Connections to Roadwar



Given that most of it is borrowing from Mad Max, there isn't much new that this film illustrates. The one parallel that can be drawn (and one of the film's better features) is that the Ownership isn't some group of interchangeable authoritarians, but seems to consist of actual humans, many of whom aren't that different from the rest of those in the wasteland. The ability in Roadwar for the player's gang to take control of local cities, which in a way serves the needs of what governmental power remains, is something that could inspire some reflection on the nature of authority. The 'empire' that develops in the game is bringing some peace to the cities and eventually a new hope for coming out of the collapse, but accomplishing that goal is done by seizing power from someone else. As often as not there is bloodshed involved, and with rather similar characters on both sides; it may only be their eventual goals that differ.

Florida Man Meets His Maker



Of the 135 people that had started out from Salt Lake City, over 100 had been lost in attacks, abandoned the gang, or died of starvation, sickness, or cold in the crossing. As they neared Portland and the promise of secure food sources, they stopped for a moment along the Columbia River. A small raft was constructed and a few bodies of the fallen were lain on top of it. The rest of the gang pushed it out into the river, and several members fired off their guns in salute. Florida Man watched with tears in his eyes as the raft slowly floated away.

"Well, I guess we made it," muttered Adams with a sigh.
"Not sure if it really was worth it, you know," Florida Man said glumly.
"Don't be so hard on yourself," added Cecile. "You're doing a good job with this group. And you're saving your country."
"Speaking of which, I think it's time you got us into the GUB," broke in Dr. Trotier. "It was a high price to pay, making this crossing in winter." He stared off at the boat, now a dot on the broad river. "Surprising just how hard it really is now that things have... changed."
"But we'll be making it better," chimed in Dr. Mills next to him.
"Well, you'll sure be happier to get in that lab than staying out on the road with me," commented Florida Man as he headed into the Gator Mobile.



Near Portland they discovered a farm cooperative that was willing to trade with them, and they got as much food as they could. For the first time in weeks, everyone went to bed with full stomachs.



The next day, they crossed over the Columbia River on the road back up to the GUB. A fair number of people from Oregon were even willing to come along with the gang, so they now had just about enough to fill out the vehicles if a fight became necessary.



Just outside of Tacoma, the gang hit another stroke of luck when they found an abandoned high school with a large supply of dried and canned food stored up in the cafeteria. There was a bus repair facility on the campus as well.



The GUB, thankfully, was intact. The people there had so far only heard rumors of the bombing of Colorado Springs and were sorry to hear the news.

The research of Trotier, Mills, and Washington was quickly loaded into the databases at the laboratory and all the doctors got to work right away on it. With more than just one researcher, they expected rapid progress. The GUB director said he was very grateful for Florida Man's perseverance in making it to the site even in winter.



Florida Man considered the successful exploits of the Gator Goons, and looked at where they hadn't ventured yet. California seemed the next logical choice, as anywhere else would likely be unreachable before the spring thaw.



Even getting through the state of Washington in late January proved difficult, as a snowstorm came in that delayed their movement southward.

[This was a lucky catch of the 'bad weather' message, which pops up on every move in the winter when you're far enough north. ]



Upon return to Portland, they ensured that the city leaders would set aside a reserve of food and other supplies for them, just in case the gang was in trouble again.



A little south of the Portland and Salem area, they discovered that the Invaders were attempting to make a grab for control of central Oregon. While the Gator Goons' numbers had swelled back to a more respectable size, Florida Man decided to pass on engaging with this enemy at the time. He could only hope that the gang's stronghold in Salem would hold out, and instead headed straight on to California.



Getting over the snowy mountains in southern Oregon proved to be trickier than expected in winter, which resulted in a longer, roundabout route southward. By the time they had reached the Sacramento Valley in California, the vehicles were almost out of fuel, and there didn't seem to be many places to stock up.



To make things worse, a wave of mutants struck them that night, claiming more than a dozen victims.

After the attack, Jack asked Florida Man, "What do you make of these mutants showing up here? Another city got bombed nearby?"

"I don't know, man," the gang's leader replied. "We just have to keep fighting them off."

"Kind of wish we still had Dr. Washington's Geiger counter with us. Wouldn't be surprised if they had nuked San Francisco as well."



California's state capital turned out to be under the thumb of the Invaders. Florida Man was nervous just hanging out in the city. But with no fuel left, the gang was forced to stick around for a day searching every last corner for enough gas to get them going.



Eventually they located some barrels of it on an abandoned farm outside of the city. It was just enough to get the vehicles out and away from Sacramento. They headed westward, and after crossing over into the Napa Valley, decided to make a stop to look for more fuel.

"We're in Napa?" asked Dr. Kassabian when they stopped. "This is Wine Country! I was out here about eight years back. They got a lot of good wine. Hopefully there's some still around."

"So, doc? If they got a lot of it, think we could use it for fuel or something? I know alcohol burns real good," said Florida Man. "Of course, I know that's not the only thing we'll be doing with the wine. Hell, I bet we could sell it off to people if we had enough of it."

Adams spoke up. "Now, I'm not in favor of letting the troops have some time here, but we need really need to find some gas. And if it's not here, we need to move on."

Jack added, "Yeah, I don't think it's worth it to try and run the cars on wine or something. We should just enjoy it!"

Harold interjected, "Where we really ought to go is L.A. That place is practically paved over. Cars everywhere, and there must still be a lot of gas that's still good. Or at the very least someone will have brought some in from the oilfields."



The search for 'fuel' was a bit of a bust. On the other hand, it was a more pleasant spot to be stuck. The weather had definitely been improving; clouds often gathered and it rained sometimes, but temperatures were warm. This gave them a moment to relax and enjoy the wine. Unfortunately, a lot of the new recruits saw no point in sticking with the gang once they discovered how nice the region was.



Eventually they did discover a little more fuel; enough to get them to San Francisco, at least, and maybe beyond.



They crossed into the city from the north by passing through a misty fog. Luckily for them the Golden Gate Bridge was still standing, although they noted that the paint was peeling and it was unclear for how long the bridge would remain usable if neglected.

The city itself showed more activity than they'd seen in a while. Rival gangs held sway in various quarters of the town, and clashed when trespassing on each other's territory, which seemed to happen frequently.



The Gator Goons were at their temporary base in a block of ruined old houses near the beach when a disheveled woman arrived asking to speak urgently with Florida Man. She passed on that she had met Myron Smidlapp a while ago, when he was traveling east and she was going west. Then she added that she hoped he had fared better than her, since coming out to San Francisco had turned out to be a 'great mistake'. Florida Man offered to let her ride along, but she said she was sick of traveling across the country, and maybe she'd be heading up north along the coast somewhere.



Instead of any useful supplies such as fuel or even food, the most plentifully available thing in the city was more guns. It almost seemed as if feeding the constant violence was a better business for some than trying to stop it, or helping the few scared residents rebuild.

Florida Man was worried that if they stayed for too long, they'd become targets themselves, or possibly lose members who wanted to get in on the local action. He had had enough of fighting over cities. He ordered the gang to head out.



They made their way southward from San Francisco on a highway that was fairly clogged with wrecked cars. It was slow going, but they encountered no threatening gangs on the way. A few dozen miles south of the city Harold pulled alongside the Gatormobile and honked his horn. He pointed off the highway and called out, "Hey look, it's SSI!"

"Who the heck is that?" asked Florida Man. "Some government office, like the GUB?"

"No," replied the old bus driver, "but I think you should check it out."

Florida Man signalled the gang to take the exit and they circled around toward the building. Jack pulled up near the Gator Mobile and shouted, "Rengstorff Avenue? What's here, buddy? You hear of a spot for fuel?"

"Naw, just that Harold said there was something here to check out," responded Florida Man.

The cars stopped out front of a office building with a plain wooden roof and brick columns near the entrance. The sign near the door read 'Strategic Simulations, Inc.'

Florida Man got out of the Gatormobile and Jack and Cecile hopped out to go with him. Army Ranger Simms started barking loudly, and Florida Man patted him to calm him down. Then he looked over at Harold, who gave him a half-hearted wave to go in the building.

"I guess we'll just check this out," he said as he stepped to the front door and pressed the intercom button. The receptionist indicated that only Florida Man was allowed inside, for 'security reasons'. "We can't let everyone see this," she commented. Florida Man told Army Ranger Simms to stay with Jack and hesitantly went inside.



Florida Man followed the curious figure up the stairs and was led to the man's computer.



When Mr. Johnson first presented the computer screen to him, Florida Man was confused. "What the heck is this you're showing me? You've been tracking us or something? Looks like you've got all the details of the gang on that machine!"

Mr. Johnson chuckled. "Well, let's just say that you are, in a way, both here," he said, gesturing to the room around them, "and in here, in the world of the electron and the switch." He tapped the computer monitor lightly.

"Not sure what you mean, man," responded a still-perplexed Florida Man.

"Well, look, I saw the food trouble you were having up in Oregon—"

"I knew it! You are tracking us! Are you with the GUB or what?"

"Don't worry about it much," drawled Mr. Johnson. "All you need to know is that we can help you out. Fix things up a bit. Even give you some new skilled leaders."

"Help us out? You've got trained people here?"



"Something like that. Now for one, you could use a better doctor."

"I don't know, Kassabian has been alright."

"Trust me, you need it. Anyway, you'll like the new one way better. Should keep your guys alive longer."



"Well, how about a new politician? Getting a better recruiter ought to help?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Walker's all right, but he's sure not as good as Elpida was."

"Well, I can't, I mean I'm not going to bring her back, but we can hook you up with someone just as good, maybe better." He typed for a bit into the computer, then waited a moment. "And a drill sergeant... hmm, you want someone new to train your men?"

"Well, I think Sgt. Adams is doing a fine job with all the men and women we got," responded Florida Man nervously. "Plus I don't really want to just kick him out now, he can't go back to Colorado."

"Well, you wouldn't have to worry about that so much. Anyway, how's about we soup up your vehicles?"



"We can improve top speed..." said Johnson, typing a bit more, and then moved down a few lines at a time to enter more numbers.



"...give them more acceleration..." he continued, his fingers speeding over the keys.



"...and even more armor."

"Uh, that's cool, but how long is it gonna take? We just got a scoop on someone we're looking for in, uh, you know, somewhere, but we want to get there pretty dang quick. We could use some extra fuel, though. Whatever you got in your garage."

"Well, it's just about done, reloading now. Oh! you wanted fuel, well, too late about that, sorry."

"Just about done? What do you—"



"—mean?"

Florida Man suddenly found himself standing in front the SSI building again. Cecile stared at him. "Well, aren't you going to go inside?"

He jerked his head toward her and muttered, "What?"

"Come on, go check it out! We're waiting."

Florida Man protested, "I just went inside! They had this computer there, said they were going to do a bunch of stuff for us, and then something happened and I was back out here."

She gave him a somewhat concerned look. "No, you haven't set foot in there. We were all wondering why you stopped. It was kind of weird."

Jack interjected, "She's right, you didn't go in there."

Florida Man responded, "But I met this guy, Mr. Johnson? He said they could do stuff for us, like, he said we'd get a new doctor, and Walker would be gone, but I told him Adams had to stay..."

"Walker? George Walker? He is gone... don't you remember? He left, and Mr. Griffin showed up."

"Wait... where's the doc? Did another one just 'show up' too?"

"Dr. Tranh? She has been with us since... I guess since yesterday? I feel like she must have been with us longer. I know Dr. Kassabian went back to the Mayo, but I don't recall when that was, really. Or maybe he just stayed in Napa at the hospital there? Was that when she showed up?"

Jack responded warily, "Yeah, could be... I'm not sure myself."

Army Ranger Simms sat on the ground and cocked his head to the side. He gave out a high, confused howl.

By this time, Florida Man had made his way back to the Gator Mobile. Immediately he sensed something was different and ordered one of the soldiers inside to pop the hood. When he opened it up and saw an even bigger engine had somehow been put in he let out a shocked, "Ha!"

"I knew it! They were aliens, I tell you! They must've been to do all this!"

"To do all what?"

"You know, soup up the cars. Don't it look nice, now." He stroked the upgraded engine lovingly and then dropped the hood. Then he looked around at the rest of the Gator Goons' vehicles. "I bet they fixed up all of them!"

He called over at the bus. "Harold, Harold, just how did you know these guys? What did you have them do?"

Harold had been absent-mindedly swiping flies off the windshield of his bus. He simply responded, "I don't think they've done anything. It all looks okay to me."

"Oh, come on, you see it, right? Even your bus looks like it'll run better now."

"Maybe there were some aliens, and they probed you and wiped your memories or something. You sure you didn't just save a few extra bottles of that wine in Napa?"

Florida Man sighed and said, "Well, it all looks nice anyway. Let's just get out of here." He gave a suspicious look at the SSI building and climbed into the Gatormobile.



The gang made a stop a little farther south, in San Jose. They found the town to be relatively safe and secure, thanks to a local militia that had control of the city center. The militia made regular patrols of the surrounding streets and kept an orderly, if somewhat sterile, peace.

Florida Man learned that their political recruiter was named Lionel Griffin, an Oakland native who had been a lawyer before everything 'went crazy', as he put it. He started talking around and managed to bring in a fair number of new members before they left town.



Continuing south from the S. F. Bay Area, the highway led them toward the coast. In Monterey, they stopped at the old army base overlooking the seaside community. Initially the guards were suspicious, until Sgt. Adams had a chat with them. He was able to convince them that the Gator Goons were legitimately serving the cause of finding a cure.

They even got a few recruits for the gang from among the soldiers stationed there. More importantly, they were told that someone had been waiting for an outfit like theirs. After a few minutes, a stocky white man in his forties strolled out of one of the buildings. He was wearing a bright yellow Hawaiian shirt and short pants. He introduced himself as Donny Dade.

"I've been doing some research here. The virus hit here pretty hard at first, but it didn't stick around as long. And there have been hardly any of that new strain I heard of. Honestly, there hasn't been that much to do. Got some surfing in now and then even," he smiled faintly.

"We aim to take you back to the GUB," announced Florida Man. "But we might explore a bit more of the state first. Can we get down to Southern California from here?"

"It'd sure be nice to see the coastline," added Cecile.

Dade responded, "Well, I heard Highway 1 is blocked. Probably a landslide or something. I wouldn't try it."

"Any other roads that head to L.A.?" questioned Cecile.

"What do you wanna go there for anyway?" asked Dade. "You got someone else to pick up? Dr. Washington down there?"

"Actually, no, we already got him. But what we really need is fuel. It's been pretty hard to come by."

Dade grimaced and responded, "Well, that's something you might well find there. If anyone's figured out how to still get gas pumping in this situation, it'll be L.A. They got enough cars to fill up the whole desert down there.

"You got enough to make it all the way? You're probably better off avoiding the coast if not. Head down the Valley, that's where the main highway goes. I wouldn't trust 101 to have any along the way either, and like I said, Highway 1 is closed."



Leaving the coast behind, they headed inland over the roads that were still open, and ended up in Stockton. The city had a certain amount of calm, but that seemed to be only because it was a stronghold for the Mafia.



They managed to stay clear of the mobsters in the city, and at a local high school, found a large cache of food as well as a place to fix up their vehicles. Lionel was out every day pulling in more recruits, and the gang's numbers were way up. Fuel, however, was still nearly impossible to come by. Florida Man said they needed to keep heading south.



As they headed down the Central Valley, they discovered the small town of Modesto, another populated oasis that seemed mostly crime-free. A number of admirers came to check out the Gatormobile, and Florida Man proudly cruised around the town all day.



Further south, they came to the larger city of Fresno. Luckily, there were still a few places willing to sell them some gasoline. It was only just enough to get them out of the city. Nevertheless, Florida Man was eager to move on, as the scouts had reported that the Invaders controlled this town as well. Even with a higher number of gang members, most of them were untested and he was concerned about how well they might perform in a real fight.



The gang stayed on the road from Fresno until they reached the next sizable town, Visalia. Despite rumors that it, too, was under the sway of the Invader army, the town seemed relatively quiet, and the gang stopped for the day to search for more fuel.

"We've got to cross over some more mountains to get to Los Angeles. I don't think we'll make it at this rate unless we can get more gas."

At that point, Harold stepped in with a thoughtful look on his face. "You know what, if I remember, I think I've seen oil wells down along this stretch of freeway somewhere. That's gonna be where they produce it around here. Maybe we can get it at the source."



Unfortunately a small group of Invaders attacked that night, leaving four dead. The Gator Goons left town early, before more reinforcements could catch them. They headed out in the direction Harold suggested might lead to an oilfield.

By mid-afternoon, they spotted some abandoned oil pumps on a broad, dusty plain. It was an encouraging sign, and the gang sped up to see if they could find any that might still be working. As they did, they saw a small cloud of dust rising up and moving quickly across the fields in their direction. It could only be a rival gang, or perhaps guardians of the wells.



Florida Man signalled the gang to hold up and have their guns at the ready. The opposing vehicles approached in a tight formation, and then skidded sideways into a stop in perfect synchronization, almost as if wanting to line up their cars for show. They had a 1969 Mustang convertible and a 1970 Dodge Dart with a supercharger, with two Harleys with sidecars next to them. Both cars and cycles were painted a deep black, with elaborate designs in a skeletal white depicting grinning skulls with a swirling vaporous trail around them. The cars also were decked out all over with perfectly polished chrome, including prominent shiny metal skulls as hood ornaments and on the helmets of the bikers.

The motorcycles began to slowly circle around the cars in a figure-eight pattern. The riders were all dressed in black leather, and on the back of each jacket could be seen yet another death's head, with the world 'Skulls' in flowing script above it.



Someone in the mustang fired off their rifle in the air, and the battle began as both sides accelerated toward each other. The enemy cars stayed in a tight formation, with each motorcycle acting as a 'wingman' to the custom car near it. Florida Man trusted in the Gatormobile to outperform them and gunned the engine so he was at the lead of the Goons' side.



All four enemy vehicles converged on him as the rest of the Goons started to pull closer from behind to provide fire support.



They skillfully dodged barrages of fire from the Mack truck and Jack's van. Gunshots from the Gatormobile managed to hit one of them, though.

"Looks like these folks aren't just about polishing their cars, they can actually drive," shouted Florida Man.

"You're giving them a good show too, man!" shouted back Griffin from the top of the Freightliner truck, where he'd taken up a position to view the battle.



One of the motorcycles took a fatal hit to the driver and skidded straight into Jack's van. The Mustang then tried to cut him off from the other side. Instead, he slammed on the brakes and pulled off a surprise sharp turn to avoid them.



While Florida Man tangled with the Mustang, the Hyundai got up alongside the other motorcycle and blasted it.



The Dart smacked the Ford's rear bumper. Jack slammed the gas pedal and the wheels kicked up dirt as he pulled away.



The Skulls circled away from the trucks with speed and precision, leading to a battle that was mostly them against Jack and Florida Man.



The Hyundai ended up nearly colliding head-on with the convertible. As they swerved past each other, a Gator Goon leapt down from the top of the car and into the open rear seat. Two more followed after, and a melee ensued for control of the vehicle.



It was a bloody battle, with only one lone Goon victorious in the end. She slowed the convertible to a stop, and then smashed off the chrome skull on its hood.



Before long, the final car was hemmed in by the other vehicles, and its owners surrendered. Florida Man considered keeping it as a prize, given how nice it was, but he knew it would be too fragile in a real fight. It had barely survived the encounter with them.



With the fight over, the Gator Goons were in for a sad surprise. It seemed there wasn't actually any gas in the field to fight over.



They searched for another day across the dead oilfield with no luck. It was not surprising when another detachment of Skulls arrived. They were now facing two classic Camaros and a 1970s Buick Gran Sport, all covered in polished chrome and death-themed black paint jobs.



This group seemed more aggressive; possibly because they'd heard of what happened to their gang brothers and sisters the previous day.



The Gator Goons polished them off easily, though, and yet another pile of chrome skulls was taken as trophies.

Using 'quick combat' with a gang like this that has all small vehicles is an easy win at this point. We have enough extra mass (structure bonus) that none of our cars are in danger, although there will be a bit more damage than if this had been a full tactical fight.



While they'd found a moderate amount of fuel in their two fights with the Skulls, Florida Man was sure there had to be some around, even if the local gang wasn't defending the tanks themselves.



At long last, they found a working oil well, and drained as much fuel as they could. The Gator Goons were ready to roll out again.



Donnie Dade approached the gang leadership as they prepared to head out the next morning. "So, why are you still planning to head to L.A.? I figure you got enough gas to make it up to the GUB, right?"

Florida Man answered, "Well, it's not certain that we'll be driving up there so soon."

"Why not? Don't we need to get back on the job?" asked the scientist.

Jack intervened, "It is still January. Coming down through Oregon was a trial. We can head back up through that mess, but then we'd have to head back down again. And we'd still have to go clear across the country to also find this Dr. Smidlapp."

Griffin asked, "So just where is Smidlapp at, anyway?"

Cecile replied, "We don't know. Maybe in the Southeast."

Adams said, "Where we just were for like, two months. We didn't run into him, so he might not even be there."

Florida Man responded, "That's not totally true. We never went up to Carolina. A lot of places he could be hiding out."

Griffin then said, "Well, it sounds to me like you ought to be heading somewhere in that direction. 'Cause you gotta find this guy and bring him in, right? And you know what?" He pointed up to the east, where a dark line of hills rose up into a haze of snow-capped mountains. "You can't get there from here. Those mountains are way too high. We got to head to L.A. first anyway if we're gonna get to Carolina. Unless you want to head back north."

Cecilia responded, "The man's got a point."

Florida Man gave the order for the cars to start up, and the gang went southward down the highway.


This week's film: A Boy and His Dog

A Boy and His Dog (1987)

"All you can think about is going back up there and about your dog!"



The scene is set with disturbing succinctness by a title card telling us, "World War 4 lasted five days". It is now 2024, seemingly some years after that war. The world is for the most part a blasted wasteland, with a few people trying their best to survive in the crumbling remains of civilization. Our titular boy, 'Vic', is a teenager who travels around with 'Blood', his dog. Blood and Vic can communicate psychically, and it seems Blood's detection abilities range a bit beyond what might be expected for a normal dog as well.

Vic uses Blood not just to warn of danger, but to seek out women that he can then take advantage of. Women are very scarce in his world, and though the opening scene almost looks like Vic about to rescue someone, it is made clear that Vic has no actual concern beyond using them for pleasure. Blood is somewhat educated and a sort of father figure to Vic. While he isn't that concerned with teaching Vic any morality, he does make him learn a bit of history about the world (this, of course, functions as exposition for the audience). Blood has also heard of a place known as 'over the hill', a promised land where farming is still possible; he wants Vic to take him there some day. In the meantime, Vic stays concerned with finding food and a woman, and Blood is there to help him with that.

The pair stake out a gang trying to dig up something in the wasteland. When the leader of the gang descends into the hole, Vic makes a bold move and steels a bag of canned food off the truck. There is a brief scene of three mysterious men (shown only from the knees down) who are possibly observing Vic for some sort of suitability, and they decide to 'put out the cheese'.

With their ill-gotten supply of food, Vic and Blood decide to splurge and go see a 'movie'. The movie theater is ramshackle outdoor screen and mostly shows amateur pornography from before the world fell apart. Blood tells Vic that there's actually a girl present at the theater. They trail her afterwards to a mostly-buried building (it turns out to be a high school). Vic is afraid to go in as he says it's where the 'screamers' are, but Blood tells him that it is clear at the moment.

Vic gets inside, and spies the girl changing her clothes in a locker room. He rushes in to capture her at gunpoint. He's slightly taken aback when he realizes she is cleaner and prettier than the women he usually finds roaming the wilderness. She tells him her name is 'Quilla June Holmes', and that she came from Oklahoma 'before the war'. Before he can proceed any further, Blood arrives in the room and tells of a 'roverpak', in other words a gang, that's about to arrive.

To deal with the larger gang, Blood creates a distraction by making them think that there are 'screamers' in the area. Many of them flee, and Vic fights the rest off with a little help from Quilla June. Blood ends up injured in a fight with another dog. The three end up having to stay in the building because actual 'screamers' show up. These are apparently some sort of glowing green mutants, described with some details but never shown on-screen.

Vic and Quilla June end up having sex in the building, though it doesn't seem as if Vic has forced himself on her. She seems naive about the world and wants Vic to go with her back to the 'downunder', which he has no inclination towards doing. He does want to them to stay together, as he seems a bit more emotionally attached than he expected.

Blood and Vic have an argument, as Blood doesn't want Vic to waste any more time obsessing over sex. When Vic returns to speak with Quilla June after the argument, she knocks him unconscious and runs off. Although Blood has a broken leg, Vic is more interested in chasing after Quilla June. It seems she left some sort of passcard behind with her that would probably allow access to the downunder. Blood tells him it's an obvious trap and he's an idiot to go inside, but he knows Vic will have his way. They have an emotional goodbye as Blood promises to try and wait for him.



Vic is captured almost immediately when he arrives in the downunder. He wakes up to being scrubbed clean in a bathtub and it turns out he's in 'Topeka', a fully-functioning underground town that is modeled on the USA circa 1910. The town is run by a three-person 'Committee' who congratulate Quilla June on completing her mission. She wants to be put on the Committee as promised, but they tell her to wait until there's an opening, and instead plan for her to be a 'recipient' and married off to a man of their choosing.

The city leader informs Vic that they're having trouble with their birth rate, and need to use men from the surface to impregnate their women. They tell him they need him, as he's a 'special kind of man'. Vic is of course overjoyed at the opportunity, until it turns out to be all handled by an artificial insemination contraption (and that he'll be killed when they have gathered enough from him, in about 48 hours).

Quilla June shows up for the mock wedding that the 'recipients' of Vic's sperm participate in. Upset at being snubbed, she rescues Vic. She wants him to help her eliminate the Committee and take over the town. They fight their way to the storage area where his guns are. Vic simply wants to leave, and Quilla June gets angry that he isn't going to help her fight the Committee, since she thinks the downunder would be fine place to be if they could run things.

The Committee reacts somewhat calmly to the breakout; they simply call for a special meeting at which they sentence those in rebellion to 'the Farm, immediately'. Then they call for an android 'Michael' who handles the killing for them. The android starts to murder some of the others who were supporting Quilla June's rebellion. When this happens, Quilla June becomes desperate to escape. Vic doesn't start fighting back until the android actually comes for him, though he is eventually able to take down the android.

The two escape to the surface. When they get there, Vic finds that Blood is barely alive. He is still injured, and now starving to death. He tells Vic that he won't be able to go on. Quilla June tells Vic they're too late to save him, and that if she loves him, she'll go with him too.

In the next scene, only Vic and Blood are present. Blood, having just eaten, thanks Vic for what he's done. When they leave the campsite, Blood remarks that Quilla June had "marvelous judgment, if not particularly good taste". The two laugh uproariously at the pun.




This is a movie that seems like it should be better than it is. The source story is short but evocative; it's a tale of a world in breakdown, both moral and physical, and the ways in which humans might react to this situation. Both the story and the movie do a good job of suggesting the ways in which this society is constructed without over-explaining. The movie, though, never really establishes its themes well, and often does a poor job at advancing the narrative, leading to a somewhat aimless affair that feels like pointless effort.

One of the biggest failings of the movie is that while it's good to be subtle and make implications to fill in the backstory of the world, that does not work as well with respect to telling the actual story. There are times when it's not really clear why something has happened that advances the plot, giving it a sort of piecemeal sequence where few things causally relate to each other. Each of them just kind of happens.

If the sense of the characters or the individual scenes were stronger, that might be okay, and sometimes they are pretty decent. Most of the early interactions with Vic and Blood are good. Quilla June's plans for her revolution are good as well, and represents a good improvement to her character from the short story. That is countervailed by a number of scenes that don't add anything either to the narrative or to characterization. There's some confusion over how Quilla June feels about Vic, and there's at least an implication that she only seeks to use him and all her emotions are a front. One poorly done scene that sticks out to me is when Vic goes to Topeka for the first time. Over two minutes of screen time is just him climbing down ladders and through steam tunnels. The only thing this conveys is that the downunder takes a while to get to, and that they have a working power plant, which does not need anything like that amount of time devoted to it.



Other scenes just don't quite have enough context to make sense. There are moments where, if you've read the book, you understand the reference, but even that doesn't add much knowledge to what's happening in the story. For example, Quilla June shows up for the 'wedding' ceremony without her parents and is questioned about it. In the story, this is because she has killed them (she's actually looking to escape with Vic due to her treatment by her parents), but in the film's context, it's a wasted moment, since her next action is to start to fight back in order to help Vic; there was little need to start the scene that way.

Occasionally there are tiny bits that are great. There's a moment in Topeka where Vic encounters a young dog that resembles Blood, and he's a bit horrified to discover that it is on a leash. Little mention or reaction by those around him occurs at that moment, yet it all makes perfect sense. But there's a later callback to this scene is rather strange, and it's another example of the film stumbling where it should have just skipped past the moment. The dog gets scheduled for execution by the Committee since he supposedly 'spoke' with Vic in the park. It's probably meant to be a funny scene (the Committee members interrogating a dead-silent dog), but since it was also implied that Blood and Vic are specially bonded in a way that only lets them communicate with each other, it makes no sense in the film's context.

As hard as I've been on the film, I don't think it is terrible, just flawed. It does actually look really good, and a number of visual presentations without dialogue work well, such as the group digging in the hole, or the initial disorienting shots of Topeka. This is actually one of the few films that could lay claim to being an influence on the Mad Max films (George Miller reportedly told Harlan Ellison that he had ripped it off for Mad Max 2), and indeed this one film could be considered as establishing the post-apocalyptic genre of the period I've been covering. Also, Don Johnson's work as Vic is absolutely outstanding. He completely sells the idea that he's actually talking with a dog that's considerably smarter than he is; you never feel like it's just an actor working with a trained animal. Indeed, most of the characterization and the acting performances are rather good. It's a shame they aren't put to use in a better story.

The film never quite comes across as having any well-developed themes. There is a vague political allegory at work here, but it's a very hazy one. The youth movement of the late 1960s seemed to just peter out as the older generation silently ignored them. An attempt by women to push for more of a voice in government also fizzled out as the ERA failed, and maybe that could be blamed on a lack of support from men or the fading energy of the counterculture that might have pushed harder for it to succeed. You can kind of see how that comes out in the film, but it never really ends up working since the film doesn't tell its own story well, nor does this feel like either a satire or an interesting commentary about the real-world situation it parallels. For the time spent on this theme, it's not advancing the story. The theme doesn't work well in context, either. The society of the downunder is already rather bizarre compared to the hard-scrabble world that Vic comes from, so his reaction to it doesn't seem to correspond with anything. Outside of suggesting that some segment of society might well revert to ultra-conservative nationalism in the wake of complete destruction of their country, there isn't a whole lot to be drawn from it.



As a final comment, and since it fits in with my feeling that the film doesn't manage to convey its themes or story well, the final line was an infamous alteration from the text of the story. Harlan Ellison famously hated it, most especially since he saw that some viewers really loved the line, and he himself would get flak for it and have to explain that he did not write it. Indeed, while there is the same implied killing of Quilla June to save Blood's life in the story, his original last line is Vic recalling that she had asked him if he knew what love is, and he thinks, "Sure I know. A boy loves his dog." It's fully consistent with his character and reflects on why he made the choice he did, even if the reader is still meant to be shocked by his actions. In the film, it's a punchline, only there to make a shocking joke. It barely fits with Blood's character (he is cynical, crass and given to wisecracks, but rarely so callous) and doesn't leave the audience with any hint of how to react to the film.

For being possibly the first film about a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and one that set the tone of a devastated world (visually if not always in other ways), it deserves some consideration. It really is influential in ways that aren't obvious now. I do not think it has undeserved success or that it should not have been borrowed from. The elements that were borrowed are pretty good and deserve imitation (though notably, few films take anything from Topeka). Even if I don't think it holds together all that well, there's no denying that this has been a very influential work. Its importance to the whole genre is why I included it on the list.

Connections to Roadwar 2000



There isn't too much here that directly fits into the game. This world is slightly more degraded than most of the PA worlds under discussion, as no vehicles are functioning. The underground city echoes the GUB in that it's been safe from whatever happened to the above-ground world, but in no way is trying to help out the citizens that remain on the surface. Probably the most recognizable element is the ever-present threat of 'mutants' that attack at night and are apparently dangerous to be in contact with (though it's implied in the movie that they are radioactive).

Of course, while this game isn't the one that was heavily influenced by the movie, another well-known series was, of course: Fallout. While Fallout's retro-futurism aesthetic is wildly different than the tone here, a fair amount of the world's set-up seem to line up — a world slowly recovering after nuclear war, some number of survivors who develop their own bizarre culture in the safe underground, dangerous mutants, and of course, a dog that can help out at times (in the film, Vic even calls Blood "dogmeat" at one moment). These aren't mere coincidences, and it's a testament to the better aspects of the movie — it easily sketches the outline of a world so profoundly changed from our own, yet somehow recognizable in parts.

Florida Man Goes South


With their eventual destination in mind, the gang left Visalia and passed into Bakersfield at the southern end of the valley. Rumor had it the Invaders had made a base as a way to scout out anyone heading southward to Los Angeles. Florida Man decided that rather than head directly south, they'd go westward to the coast and avoid any ambushes in the mountains.


The detour did not gain them much of an advantage, as Santa Barbara was also controlled by the Invaders. The Gator Goons had to keep an eye out; sadly for them, they had no time to enjoy the beaches.


All of Ventura county was Invader territory. Florida Man was getting nervous, but no attacks came. Local reports said that after the initial battle for control things had quieted down, to the point that even a decent-sized gang was able to pass unnoticed, and the Invaders hardly ever interfered with day-to-day life out here.


Harold led them to a bus depot in Thousand Oaks, where they found just a small amount of fuel. More usefully, however, they were able to stop for a few hours and fix the minor damage to the vehicles from the recent battles with the Skulls.


Still worried about the Invader activity, Florida Man drove the gang into Los Angeles proper as the evening was coming on. Surprisingly, there was a lot of activity on the streets. People were milling around on the corners freely, and it was almost as if the place were unaffected by the disaster that had hit the rest of the country.


Scouts discovered that the Invaders had, in fact, taken over, but didn't seem to be as ruthless here as in other locales. The citizens of the city did not seem to mind their control and just went about with their lives. Dade said he'd heard the virus had not hit the region as harshly, which might account for the relatively calm reaction of the populace to the current situation.


As they journeyed southward, they discovered that in Anaheim, there were hand-made ads and posters proclaiming that 'the theme park you always loved' was still open.


Not all the attractions were running, but those that were had been maintained with care.

"It sure is good to see that some places are still just about how they were before, huh?" commented Griffin to Florida Man as they watched the rest of the gang ride around in little boats.

"Yeah, I'm happy to see things are kept up here," he responded, adding, "It's not like this back in Florida. We got in, but nobody was running the place. I guess you gotta maintain these machines."

Cecile walked over to the bench where the two men were sitting. She was holding a cone of chocolate ice cream in her hand. "It's so great to see this place!" she beamed. "It's like being in another world. Why can't we go back and fix things up in Florida? I bet it could look like this, too!"

Florida Man said, "Oh man, I'd love to! Hmm, it's a lot bigger out there, though. We'd need a lot of people willing to work the place over to get it up and running. And right now I'm not sure how popular it would be to go back there, so far from where we have to get the scientists."

Cecile replied, "Well, they don't have all the rides open here, either. But what they got is pretty special. Maybe we could get just part of it running there, a bit at a time. Anyway, you want some ice cream? I can go get you a cone. They got lemonade, and hot dogs, too!"


As the gang passed down through Orange County and southward towards the Mexican border, they found most of the communities had allowed the Invaders to maintain their loose control. San Diego was the first place where they heard reports of resistance. After crossing the border, they found the headquarters of the mostly-American resistance group in Tijuana. Without widespread support for their resistance movement, however, most of them had to focus more on simply surviving in the hot climate.


Griffin spoke with a number of dissatisfied young men and women who had little interest in raiding into the American territory and wanted out. They could tell that there wasn't much hope of a better life if they stayed in Tijuana, and joined up with the Gator Goons.


Then they traveled eastward on the Mexican highway. They found most of the small towns had been abandoned, long since ruined by either the Invaders or roving gangs. Mexicali was the first town of any size that had a semblance of order. Many of the Mexicans that had fled from the Tijuana area had ended up here, and the local city officials had established a small city-state of their own with strict rules about property, taxation, and tolerance toward gang membership. The Gator Goons were not particularly welcome there, and left in a hurry.


Rather than venture any farther into the desert of Sonora, the gang turned back northward, although not as far back as into Los Angeles itself.

In Riverside, they found that the mob in Southern California had apparently been severely weakened as the Invaders gradually took over the region. They had managed to consolidate their power in this one city, but did not dare to push any farther west than Pomona, and had to be content with ruling the Inland Empire.


A fair number of the mobsters in Riverside had fled from Las Vegas as well. From what they said, it seemed as though they had left Las Vegas open for anyone to rule. When the Gator Goons arrived, they found to their surprise that most of the casinos were still operating in some capacity, almost bustling, although the prizes awarded tended to be vouchers for commodities rather than direct cash.


Florida Man figured it would be a good way to spend the afternoon in the town before they headed through Arizona, so he let the gang loose to try their luck. Upon entry, they were informed that they would need to stake some of their supplies as payment for the 'chips', but might well win them back at the end. Most of them had mixed results, but there were two big winners in the group. They were told to redeem their winnings at a location down the 'strip'.


When they arrived at the end of the strip, they found that one of the hotels there had its old sign torn down, and over the entrance was a sign painted in red and black letters, proclaiming it as the "First Church of Satan". A smaller sign near the entrance read, "Redeem Jackpot Here" and had an arrow pointing to the doorway.

Florida Man and a few others accompanied the winners inside, as he was very curious to know just what the 'jackpot' might actually be.

Sgt. Adams eyed the back wall of the lobby, which had a gigantic pentagram with a goat's head emblazoned in the middle of it. He remarked, "Looks like they finally decided to take the name 'Sin City' literally. Huh."

"Welcome to the Church of Satan. Are you jackpot winners, or looking to become members today?" said a chipper young woman in a neat business suit.

Florida Man responded, "Uh, so you folks really worship the devil here?"

The woman chuckled. "You mean the guy with the horns, red suit, a pitchfork? Master of evil? The one all the god-fearing religious folk blame when they do something wrong? No, that's not what we're about. What we represent is an opposition to all that -- nonsense. We're about taking control of our own life, and making our own choices free of delusion. So, would you like to become members?"

Florida Man pointed to the two who had won the prize and explained that they would just like to take the winnings, or at least see what the prize was.


The jackpots entitled them to a huge quantity of fuel, which represented remarkable resources for the Satanists, but at this point was hardly needed by the gang. Florida Man told them to save what they could and distribute the rest to the locals. He himself had been given a coffee mug that had "Viva LAS VEGAS" written on it in big red letters as a gift from the church.


Other winnings were traded more fruitfully at a full-service mall, with food and auto repair being the top priorities. They had been lucky, and the city appeared to be thriving somehow. Nonetheless, Florida Man said he still felt a little creeped out about the way the town was being run, so he moved the gang onward into Arizona. Fortunately enough, those who were running Vegas had apparently been able to keep Hoover Dam in operation. That included the highway across it, so they were able to drive almost straight out of the city to get away.


By the time they got about halfway through the state, they realized that here in the desert, too, the Invaders were on the rise.


Things weren't much better a little to the south in Tucson.

Florida Man called a meeting of the gang's leadership that afternoon up on the hills overlooking the city.

"I think we ought to head down into Mexico. Like the real Mexico, now."

"What for?" asked Jack.

Florida Man scratched his head. "Well, from what I hear, that's where the... Invaders really got their start. They say the first landings were there."

"You do know they were talking about amphibious landings, right?" interjected Sgt. Adams.

"So you think we should, what, take them on directly? You think we can find out where their headquarters are?" wondered Cecile.

"I don't know, is that going to get us anywhere?" questioned Dr. Tranh.

Florida Man went on. "Seems to me everywhere we go now, they're only getting stronger. You look at LA, they took over the whole place. And it felt like half of Texas, too. Clear up into the north of the country. And it's a big country, you know. 'Course, I'm sure they got ways of moving around the map faster than we can.

"Well what I'm saying is, I think we ought to do something about it. I'm not saying we go down and find their leader or main base or whatever. But even if we get all these scientists back to the GUB, well, then what? We get a cure, but we still have to deal with them. And hell, I think they'd probably thank us if we can figure out what the Invader plan is. So... call it a scout mission. We head down, find out the truth, and probably, we get out. Nobody's around who really knows what is going on, and we can tell 'em."

"It's not the worst idea, but it sounds dangerous. You sure you wanna risk it?" asked Griffin.

"We've been through... tough fights before. We've got supplies, I think we can make it," Jack said.

In the end, they all agreed to make an excursion southward.


While they noted a few small gangs patrolling on the American side of the border, no one seemed to mind as they crossed into Mexico. Crossing the desert went smoothly, and they encountered no trouble all the way down to Hermosillo.

The city had seemingly been left in ruins as the Invaders swept northward. Local reports suggested that the Invaders maintained only a nominal presence there to scan the desert. Many residents had fled already. Some were attempting to rebuild, but a fair number more were looking for any chance to get out. It did not take much convincing for Griffin, even with his broken Spanish, to sign up more Gator Goons.


The night after they left Hermosillo and the Sonoran desert behind, the gang was attacked by a band of mutants. Although it seemed to be an isolated group, few of the veteran gang members wanted to take chances. There had been little news out of Mexico after the invasions had begun. Everyone was on high alert for possible nuke sites, and antitoxin was used immediately after the fight to prevent the spread of the virus.


Fortunately, no more mutant attacks were coming. The roads remained largely devoid of activity, and most of the small towns seemed abandoned as well.


As they passed through the state of Sinaloa, though, they were met by a road gang. There was a Chevy Corsa wagon reinforced with armor plates and guard bars, and two large black limousines that in another time might have been used for parades. They were marked with 'PFP' in block white letters on the side. Those driving were wearing drab gray police uniforms and sporting submachineguns and heavy pistols.


The Goons spread out as usual, with the Gatormobile taking the lead on the left side.


The enemy zeroed in on Florida Man's car with military precision.


Rather than zip past and behind them, Florida Man went for a flashier trick, drifting into a nearly 90-degree turn at almost 100 miles an hour.


One of the limos tried to get into boarding range, but suppressing fire from the Gator Goons caused the men on the roof to hit the deck after three were shot down.


The Gatormobile then sped across the middle of the highway as all the vehicles drew into close range.


Well-aimed bursts of fire from the trucks and Harold's bus knocked out first one limo, and then the other. Only the Corsa remained as a threat.


As the lead limo went down, return fire from the station wagon claimed one kill in the Ford van.


The Stellar zoomed around to block the car's escape. With the rest of their outfit defeated and no hope of escape, the Corsa turned to ram the Mack truck.


A full barrage finished them off before it could make contact.

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"Woo-woo! That was amazing!" shouted Griffin to Florida Man as the last car screeched to a halt. "You really showed those Federales!"

"You liked that, huh?" responded Florida Man, grinning. "Shame these guys couldn't have helped us though. I bet they know something about the Invaders."

"Doesn't look like there's a whole lot here," called out Jack as he inspected the back of the defeated gang's vehicles. "Some food, but no fuel or ammo. I bet that's why they were so desperate to fight. They just had to hope to get something from us."


Continuing down the highway, they discovered only more of the same. No large towns had remained. They also noted signs that many had been bombed or been battlegrounds once the Invaders had arrived. Florida Man began to wonder if they would discover anything here at all. Food supplies were still okay, but if they kept pushing southward, there was no way of knowing if they'd find any where they could obtain more. Not only that, but some people had complaining of soreness and fatigue lately. It seemed even if it wasn't summer yet, the long days of travel through the empty desert and destroyed towns were getting to the crew.


A small crazed group of Cannibals in two mid-size cars attacked them on the desolate road, but they were no match for the experienced gang. However, the Gator Goon's vehicles had been through several fights now, and were sorely in need of repair.

On a roadside stop that night, Florida Man went with Army Ranger Simms a ways off from the group for a short walk. Things quickly took a turn when a coyote burst out of the bushes and came after them. Florida Man realized he didn't have his gun with him. Army Ranger Simms growled, and then fiercely jumped to protect him as the coyote refused to back off. Florida Man took the only thing he had at hand — the Las Vegas coffee mug — and swung it at the coyote. It connected much more solidly than he expected, and the wild animal crumpled to the ground limply.

"Whew! You okay, boy?" he said, patting Army Ranger Simms' side and looking over the panting dog for any serious injuries. "You saved my life. Yeah, I really do think so." He looked down again at the broken shards of the mug and the coyote's lifeless corpse. "Dang. Smashed my new mug."

After he mentioned the incident to the rest of the gang, Dr. Tranh seemed worried that the coyote might have been suffering from some disease that made him act so aggressively. She warned the group that they should be especially careful of any strange behavior in the wildlife, and not to get too close to any animals on the roads.


Fortunately, the gang found just what they needed in Durango, the first settlement in a long stretch that seemed to show signs of life. It was clearly under the control of the Invaders, though, so the gang moved on as soon as the repairs were completed.

Note that the map has stopped scrolling at this point, as we no longer appear in the center but near the edge. You cannot travel any farther south than this.


Many of those who'd been feeling ill previously now complained of difficulty breathing. Some of the cases were quite serious. Two members had died by the time they reached Torreón. Florida Man ordered a general halt to allow for treatment.

That evening, he called a meeting to discuss the matter with the medical professionals.

He opened with the question, "What do you think this is? Some new form of the virus they cooked up down here and let loose?"

Dr. Tranh replied, "It doesn't seem like it. It's more like something that otherwise would have been treated if... all this hadn't happened. You can expect disease outbreaks when there's no longer good sources of clean food, water, and not many doctors available. Maybe Dr. Dade knows more."

Florida Man turned to him. "Well, what do you think, Donnie?"

Dr. Dade answered, "My guess is, she's probably right. Look, you know I can't tell you much more than you've already seen from the effects of this disease. You gotta get me a microscope, I'd need a full laboratory... I could tell you a ton about this if I could just tear it apart in detail."

He still agreed to help with the treatment of the patients, and they did the best they could. Scouts found an abandoned medical clinic that allowed some room to place the patients that needed rest, and a few sterile supplies as well as medication.


There was hardly any way to stop the unknown malady, though. It ripped through them with a fury, killing more than a third of the group.


While Dr. Tranh assured the group afterward that the sickness was unlikely to kill more of them now that it had spread through the gang, it was little comfort for those who had lost so many of their close friends and compatriots.


Practically every city and town in Mexico looked to be under control of the Invaders, and reports were that they were even stronger further south near Mexico City.


The strange disease had heavily sapped the morale of the gang, not to mention depleting their numbers significantly in a hostile land where new recruits were few and far between.

Florida Man had to admit that to press onwards into Mexico would only be foolish at this point. They had indeed scouted a large portion of the country's territory and found only more Invaders as they headed southward. The Gator Goons turned back toward US territory.


When they reached the border, they encountered a group of doctors who said they were 'monitoring' groups crossing the border to prevent the spread of the mutant virus strain. The gang traded for more antitoxin just in case they needed it in Texas. Florida Man asked if they'd heard reports of the disease that had hit the gang so hard down in Mexico. The doctors said there some unconfirmed reports of a new disease in the southwest US or Mexico. All they had gathered so far was that the antitoxin did not work on it, so it was unlikely to be a newer mutant strain.

This sickness is a random event that I'm fairly sure only ever happens in Mexico. It's not totally clear what it's supposed to be, and it seems to be a one-time event. The 'survivors made stronger' probably doesn't actually have any mechanical effect, although maybe you are less likely to get infection from mutant attacks; it's pretty hard to say.


After they arrived back in the US, Dr. Dade approached the gang leadership. "I hope you're done with all this foreign tourism. Maybe we could make some real progress now? As I recall you still have two more of our original team to track down, assuming they're all still alive."

"Well, we do still want to look for Dr. Smidlapp, so we'll be heading to the Southeast," replied Florida Man.

"I would say we do need to get our numbers up. We lost a lot of good soldiers down there, not just from fighting," said Sgt. Adams. "We need to train more recruits, or we won't survive another tough battle."

"He's right," said Jack. "We should go east, but get some more fighters. We don't know who or what to expect."

"A lot of places know our name, now," added Cecile. "Do you think we're getting a reputation?"

"Well, I think it's a good one," said Florida Man. "But, Dr. Dade, you know, we do have to take it a bit slow. That trip hurt us a lot."

"Well, it wasn't my bright idea to go down there," grumbled Dade before storming off.


While most of the larger cities in Oklahoma had been maintained with order and peace by the local militia groups, some had decided to go rogue and prey on those travelling the highways. The Gator Goons made short work of one of them. It netted them substantial food, some of which they donated back to the city, since they figured a lot of it had been stolen from them, and Florida Man wanted to stay on their good side.


After the heavy blow from the disease in Mexico, the gang decided to rebuild in Texas. With mutant numbers rising after the destruction of Houston, Griffin figured it could be a good place to pick up more people hoping to escape. Florida Man agreed, since he didn't want to be stuck in a fight with nobody available to crew the guns.


A trip into Austin proved very unsuccessful, though. Either the locals had had enough of outsiders, or were too much under the thumb of the Invaders to want to support the Gator Goons.


Sporadic mutant attacks continued to stymie the recruiting efforts, and after passing through San Antonio, the gang was down to fewer than 50 members.

Florida Man took Griffin aside for a private meeting. Florida Man said "Griffin, we really need to keep the group strong. I'm counting on you to convince those folks to join us. Right now it seems to be going poorly. So what's up?"

"I know, I know," he replied. "Look, it's tough!"

"I'm worried about having so few people. Dr. Dade is gonna be screaming if we don't get him back 'home'. But it's not safe to travel out on the highways without enough people in the cars. One big gang finds us, we'd be toast!"

"Problem is, no one here wants to leave. I guess they got it okay. Everyone says they Invaders haven't come out here in a while, and they got a firm control of their own territory here. Say, you ever think of just finding a city to settle down in? I bet there's some big old place where it's peaceful, where nobody at all is going to bother you. Or at least if they did, you'd have the guns to fight them off."

"Hmm, I guess that wouldn't be so bad, would it?" Florida Man replied with a faint smile. "But, you know, I kind of like moving around right now. But I hope you can convince them. Tell them we found a way to help the country. That ought to bring more recruits."

"Yeah, I suppose so. You really think this whole 'government mission' is for real? Like, they're actually going to help people?"

"I do. Now I won't be the one to find the cure, but just wait till you see what they got going in their lab. They'll do it, and we'll bring them there safe and sound. I really think it's gonna work!" He walked away smiling as he looked out over the broad bushy fields that stretched off to the south.


It seemed that large sections of the eastern half of the state had been taken over by the invading army and remained that way. The places that weren't yet captured by the Invaders stayed suspect of outsiders, especially once they heard about recruiting efforts. Almost no city was safe to stay in for very long.


Mutant attacks in the area continued to rise, as the roving feral bands seemed to have shifted southward from Houston with the wind.


Brownsville, a moderately-sized town at the southmost tip of Texas, was one of the few holdouts in the state. Small groups had united to fend off the Invaders, and the enemy army had seemingly left it behind. But with their common enemy gone, the coalition that had fought them off had dissolved into arguments over who would actually run the city. Griffin was able to convince a number of them to discard the dispute over their city and sign up with the Gator Goons instead.


In the nearby McAllen-Pharr region, the mafia had taken the role as the primary gang following the departure of the Invaders. They did not take kindly to having any of their members poached, and most of them were unwilling to leave the 'family' anyway.


Florida Man led the group out into the countryside to scour the farmlands for more food and supplies. Guns were plentiful, but at this point they had no need for any more.


A return trip through San Antonio and then northward brought in a few more new members, but mutant attacks kept the ranks from really growing. They were losing almost as many as they gained each day.


It was not until reaching Oklahoma that they were able to sign up significantly more. Here many residents were sick of the relatively restrictive lifestyle the Reborners encouraged and the militia enforced, and signed up in search of adventure and excitement.


Another of the rogue militia units in the state attacked them on the road eastward, but they, too, were easily eliminated.


St. Louis brought in a few more recruits. Florida Man congratulated Griffin on doing a good job in the city.


But it wasn't long before the word got out about the Gator Goons. They were told to 'consider leaving the state soon' by the officious locals, who had been trying to set up strict new laws to create a city-state out of the metropolitan area.


They followed the highway along the Mississippi River southward until they reached Memphis. They found it under control of a group that had split from the 'Volunteer Guard'. Instead of the relative order they had encountered some months ago in Nashville, Memphis was a chaotic city. The well-armed militia would exercise their power to suit their needs but otherwise had no care for the citizens or the slowly-crumbling state of the town.


That night, a group of the rogue Volunteer Guards who ruled the town came to the Gator Goon camp. Three men, their guns held loosely at their sides, marched forward.

One of the barked out, "By order of Major Travis DeChurch, Commandant of the City of Memphis, you squatters are hereby ordered to remove yourself from the premises! That means you get out of here, and get out of town now!"

Cecile, who'd been keeping charge of the watch at that time, replied back, "Just who are you to go around kicking people out of town? We came here peacefully, and bothered no one. Some people even traded us food for fuel, and they sure didn't seem unhappy!"

The man replied, "We're the only law around here. What we say goes, and we say you die!" They swung their guns up suddenly and opened fire. A few Goons went down in the initial spray of bullets but the guards at the camp took out the treacherous envoys. A brief firefight ensued as a few more of the Memphis soldiers that had stayed back traded fire. It did not take long before the alarm was raised and the whole camp

An extra guard was put out in case of another assault, and few in the camp slept well, but the rest of the night was uneventful.


In the morning, a small crowd of citizens had gathered at the riverside park where the Gator Goons had spent the night. Their intentions appeared to be peaceful, though.

"You did it," a gruff-looking man said. "You got rid of every one of them!"

"Uh, we just fought of the first folks who attacked us," replied a still-sleepy Florida Man.

"Was that really all there was of them?" asked Cecile.

"They're gone, whatever you did," replied the man.

"You gave us our freedom back!" shouted out a woman in the crowd.

Florida Man, still a bit confused, looked out over the assembly. All their eyes were on him. "So what are you going to do now? Who's going to run the town?"

A clean-cut younger man spoke up. "I hear some other cities have the real Volunteers in charge. You guys with them?"

The first man shouted him down, saying "You think these guys are with the Volunteers? Hell, do they look like Tenesseans?"

A woman standing between them both retorted, "They won the battle, whoever they are. They're gonna get to decide what happens."

"And how do you know they'll be any better?" responded the man angrily.

"We need to vote in a mayor!" yelled out another person in the crowd.

"Look, someone's gotta decide how things are going to be run from now on, or we won't get anywhere," shouted the younger man who'd spoken up earlier.

Florida Man again looked out at the crowd of people. "If you all don't mind, I guess that'll be us for now," he said.

This week's film: Land of Doom

Land of Doom (1985)

"I don't need your help! --We all need help these days."



There is an opening narration that mentions a 'Final War', and that the world is now largely unfit for life. As always, everyday life is a desperate struggle to exist. The narrator says she's unsure if she can survive the madness, especially because there is one man who is determined to destroy all good people.

What follows are scenes of violent combat in the streets of a city on fire, mingled with multiple sexual assaults and murders. We see our narrator, Harmony, nervously navigating her way around this wanton destruction (although we don't know her name yet and it's not made explicit who she even is).

Harmony finds her way to a cave with a wounded man inside it. He gives his name as Anderson and says he's been stuck there for two days. She stays suspicious of him and even a bit brusque. He shoots a snake in the cave and this softens their relationship; she tosses him a bit of food. In the morning she announces that she's leaving. He wants to tag along but she insists that she always goes it alone. Eventually, though, she relents and allows him to come, as long he can keep up.

The two spot a line of armored vehicles, mostly motorcycles, heading along a road. The road gang members are all outfitted in studded black leather and look dangerous. Anderson says it's an 'attack group' headed for the next village.

There's another scene at what's clearly the villain's lair. One man arrives on a motorbike and reports that they lost nine men trying to get Anderson. The leader explodes with rage and tells them to make sure they get him, no matter what it takes. As he departs, the underling mumbles that one of these days he's going to take down the leader.

Harmony and Anderson continue onward. Anderson makes the mistake of touching Harmony, which causes her to immediately lash out and pull her crossbow on him. Right as that happens one of the Raiders shows up and holds them at gunpoint. His name is Demister and he seems to be giddy over the prospect of bringing in Anderson. Harmony tries to go for a knife and Demister stops her; he asks Anderson if she's his "woman". She insists she's nobody's "woman" and the giggling gangster threatens her and calls her a slut.

Demister ties Anderson to a tree so that he can assault Harmony without interference. Anderson kicks him before he's fully restrained, and Harmony tries to run off. Demister pins her to the ground, forcibly kisses her, and then threatens her with a knife. He is briefly distracted by Anderson, which gives Harmony time to grab a rock and pounds him in the head. It only takes a few hits to kill the man.

Harmony tells Anderson "you got me into this" and starts to head off. She is going to leave him tied up, figuring that he will get himself free eventually, but not in time to catch up with her. Anderson pleads with her that he's not associated with the gangsters. He says he actually tried to get people organized to have a better life, but they gave up and are now ruled by a man called Slater. He promises her that he does know of a place where life is better, and that he can take her there on Demister's bike (she doesn't seem to know how to operate it). She says she can handle herself, but eventually agrees to have him take her to this supposed promised land.

The ride for a while, but the bike runs out of alcohol and they have to get off. They spot a group of hooded villagers waving a red flag, and Harmony simply says, "plague". They see smoke at a nearby building and since they need food, Anderson suggests they should at least try and ask for help. Harmony remains extremely suspect, pointing out the dangers and that nobody gives food out for free.

It turns out to be a lone man, who nearly shoots them on sight with his rifle. He takes them into his hut cautiously. Once inside, Harmony asks to use the 'outhouse' and the man allows her to leave. She heads into a lower building and finds what seems to be regular butchered meat, but as she looks deeper into the cave is show to actually be human carcasses. Another man shows up and tries to attack her; she fights him off and locks him into the meat room.

She heads back to the man's hut and he presents them with food. She's unable to speak openly with Anderson and instead kicks him under the table every time he tries to take a bite. Finally taking the hint (maybe), he asks the man what kind of meat it is; he says it is 'deer meat'. Harmony throws her bowl in the man's face and they both overpower him.

They tie up the man and steal what preserved vegetables they can. Harmony warns that they need to move before others arrive; Anderson still seems to be unsure about her claim that the food was human meat. The man wakes up and taunts them as they're about to leave. Harmony wants to kill him, but Anderson says that's what the 'Raiders' would do.

Outside the hut, they have a discussion about when it is ethical to kill, when Harmony suddenly senses that two men are approaching. We then see two of the cannibals following their tracks. Harmony dispatches one of them on her own, and they get away.

They are then attacked by several plague victims. Harmony kills the one who comes after here, and ends up having to rescue Anderson when three of them jump on him at once. Harmony looks at the dead men and worries that they, too, will get the plague someday. Anderson says if they were going to get it, they'd probably have already had it by now. He touches her to calm her, and she reacts violently. She then reveals that she can't stand being touched, as every men she's ever met has tried to kill her, or... and she trails off. Anderson replies, "Rape you?" and when she turns away with a fearful face he continues, "I haven't." So they both have some growing to do. (To be fair, the actors put effort and emotion into this scene and sell it reasonably well.)

That night, while they sleep by the fire, Anderson rolls over close to Harmony. She pulls her knife in sudden fear, but he rolls away a moment later.



In the morning, they witness another attack on a village. Anderson spots the man we earlier saw reporting the failure to catch him, and he calls him "Purvis, one of Slater's prime maniacs". The Raiders fight their way into the village with a surprising number of explosions. There are also a few more brief shots of sexual assault. Anderson says they need to steal a bike, and there's nothing they can do to help the village. Harmony's upset, but it's not clear if she's bothered by the violence to the villagers or the extreme danger of running right into an ongoing battle.

Anderson hacks a guy to death to steal his bike (apparently that's not something Raiders would do), and they ride off together. The Raiders notice the bike being stolen, of course. Purvis spots that it's Anderson and sends more of his bikes after them.

As Purvis's bikers gain on them, they spy several more ahead of them on the road. Harmony realizes[?] that the bike's too heavy with her on it and she hops off, telling Anderson to continue onward. She doesn't really explain why and he is confused. She goes to hide behind a rock because maybe she's preparing an ambush.

There's a comic relief[??] scene where one biker rides up too high on a rock and falls off his bike. Then the biker punches another to take his bike and then ends up going off a cliff because he wasn't paying attention. Another gangster menaces Harmony. She gets on the ground and starts to pose seductively, distracting the man long enough for her to toss sand into his face and knock him off the cliff.

Anderson has to stop to refuel his bike. When he does he is held up by Purvis. Harmony sneaks up behind Purvis without him noticing. Anderson tells Purvis he's not coming with him and to 'look behind him'. Purvis thinks it's a trick until Harmony speaks up. It is a trick though, since she only had a stick, but she does pull Purvis's gun from his belt. They leave Purvis with a snake crawling across his boots, and ride off together.

Next, they rescue a man who's been run up on a rock by a bunch of wild dogs. Anderson fires off his gun to drive off the dogs. The man speaks somewhat strangely, calling them 'lord and lady'. He gives his name as 'Orland' and reveals his puppy, 'Guinevere'. They let him follow for a bit on his bicycle, but eventually leave him behind.

Just after that, they run into an ambush. Both are swiftly grabbed by Slater's men. Orland spots them being taken and rides off (initially shown abandoning his puppy, though he later has it with him*).

Harmony and Anderson are taken before Slater. Slater orders his men to take Harmony and 'clean her up'. She responds by spitting in his face and momentarily breaking free. Purvis is also there, cursing them since he hates snakes.

Orland has trailed the two back to Slater's compound. He falls into an underground passage, and is beset by tiny hooded people, though apparently not plague victims.

Chained up in the prison, Harmony and Anderson have a chat about their situation. Anderson says that Harmony humiliated Slater, and also that Purvis is seeking to make a bid to rule the gang himself. He hopes to use that against them. Harmony also accepts that she made the choices that brought her this far; she's no longer blaming Anderson. He apologizes to her and says he didn't want her to get hurt. She is touched to know that someone actually cares about her.

Anderson tries to goad Purvis into rebelling, but to no avail. The two are brought before Slater. Anderson argues with him, and Slater declares that the people who built the 'old world' are also the ones who destroyed it, so only might makes right. He has Harmony chained up to the wall, and implies he is about to publicly rape her and let the rest of his men join in. Even the four women who surround his throne laugh at his jokes about it, and the crowd gets excited.



Orland pops up with a flamethrower. He kicks... something** off a table into the fire which explodes, and most of the assembly runs around in a panic. Anderson and Slater wrestle on the ground. Anderson chops off some of Slater's fingers with an axe. Slater runs off; Orland and Anderson defend themselves from other gang members with guns; Anderson frees Harmony and they all run off through the passage Orland entered from.

Purvis now leads the charge to get them, and chases them into the passage. The tiny hooded people are in there. The hooded people get agitated as they realize the Raiders are coming into their cave. All of them exit via a cave mouth that's right above part of the Raider camp, so they aren't particularly safe yet. Orland blows up a large number of fuel barrels in the camp. There's a massive explosion and they run off from the camp.

They see Purvis exiting the cave but he doesn't notice them initially. Harmony opens fire, but only wings him. Orland finds an armored pickup truck and they get it running, as Purvis and his men board their bikes. There's a moderate-speed chase down the road. Then Orland's tiny friends cause a rockfall that halts Purvis, at least momentarily. Instead of driving off, they decide to blow up their truck on a bridge.

Purvis screams after them. While still in sight of the burning bridge, Orland says he's going to stay behind and live with his new friends (it's apparently really easy to get to them, even though they were just on the other side of the bridge).

Harmony and Anderson finally kiss. Meanwhile, Orland spots Slater's metal-gloved hand clawing its way up the hill. He runs back to the other two, Anderson says, "Oh shit, here we go again" and they all start running.

*[The bizarre details that sometimes actually do mean something have made this shot really bother me. It is very clearly shown that he leaves Guinevere behind. Was it to fix continuity in a later scene? Was it plot-relevant? Is this the key to understanding the whole movie? I don't know, and cannot figure it out.]

**[After capturing the images for this update, I realized that the thing he kicks is apparently an oil lamp. When Slater is preparing to bring the prisoners before him, one of his female attendants can be seen opening it up and lighting it. But since it otherwise looks just like a sphere of colored glass, unless you happen to have caught that tiny clue during the villain's monologue, you'd be just as confused as I was. That's just perfectly emblematic of how perversely information-dense yet uncommunicative the film is.]



It's often hard to summarize movies that are not well-made, and that's certainly the case here. However, it's hard to say exactly The plot isn't really convoluted. It's just full of incident with almost no meaning. To include only relevant details would make the summary all too short and maybe present the film as better than it is; I wanted to add enough to demonstrate the way it proceeds but hopefully that summary was not overlong.

Since so many of the plot elements go nowhere (and the film is so full of them), it's also a bit hard to pick up on them, as they might only be indicated by a very brief line. I had to watch this multiple times to figure out that some parts that seemed to happen for no reason actually are explained in moments that are very easily missed. For example, Harmony's single line 'plague' to indicate they need to stay away from the red flag-carrying villagers is easily lost, since also in that scene she seems initially puzzled by their presence, and they consider asking them for water as well. So much of the plot also proceeds in a way where events simply happen one after the other, and even when the explanation exists, it's too briefly shown and almost perfunctory.

That brings me to the main problem I have with Harmony's character, since this film billed itself as having a strong female lead character, and certainly seems to want to position her as such. She seemingly makes her own choices, but as often as not they feel like plot contrivances. The events are also too often defined by men. Her actions with respect to Anderson are important for protecting him (and herself), but since the antagonist is pitted against him and not her, it feels more like she's just supporting him instead of doing her own thing. Her character also seems much more simply 'suspicious of men' than 'self-sufficient'. She is strong-willed, to be sure, but doesn't actually seem 'self-sufficient' except in a few moments. Anderson has to explain so many events about the other characters, and even if it makes some sense, it still ends up making her rely on him for guidance too often. There are details that flesh out her ability to survive, but they are some of those blink-and-you-miss-it moments, or only minorly affect events. The world of the film is decidedly defined by men, and to some extent, so is she. And while there is some subtlety to that point of view, I'm unsure if the movie is equipped to explore it.



One could make the case that it at least fits the mold of other films of its vintage, and is clearly more progressive than, say, what was produced forty years prior to it. Anderson takes the role that would more traditionally be exclusive to the female lead, as he is the one shown to be more empathetic and concerned about people, and more often in need of being rescued. It's not a simple inversion, either, since he he's playing a masculine but sensitive guy, and she isn't merely a laconic action hero. Her character development is fairly good, although it is sort of strange how the film nearly slips into romantic comedy towards the middle and ending, considering the grim setting it establishes.

I kind of feel like this may have started out as a decent story, but there were a lot of misfires along the way. I think at some point it was trying to have something to say. It just undercuts itself often, since frequently what happens isn't related to what the characters have said or done, or what was established narratively, except in a very broad sense. If somehow it presented itself with more clarity or consistency, it would have been fine. The acting is about the only part that works well, and it demonstrates that they could have produced what was needed, if only it wasn't buried in the extraneous plot details. Of particular note is Daniel Radell, who plays both Demister and Slater with such distinction between them that I had to double check to be sure it really was the same actor (Slater wears a partial mask to obscure the dual role).

This was one of the few of the more obscure films on my list that I'd seen before I started this series. I knew it wasn't good, but I had figured it was sort of middling fare for the era. On the scale of what I have covered, though, it's pretty far down. Contrasted with another generic post-apocalyptic story, such as Wheels of Fire, about the best I can say is that this is less objectionable. Even then, there are those scenes of sexual assault tossed in here. They don't seem put in to necessarily be exploitative, but instead to establish the threat that Harmony faces. Yet they could easily have been removed since Deborah Rennard, who plays her, does that capably enough on her own. Her trauma feels real. In the end the scenes of unnamed people being victimized do start to seem exploitative simply by being unneeded.

I wouldn't even say the film's a worthwhile failure, as it's virtues are too few. It took multiple viewings to even see some of the detail that actually exists but is buried in the too-dense plot. If it were trimmed down and reworked it, well, the characters might be of some interest, but it's still not adding anything original to the genre.


Connections to Roadwar 2000



There's not a whole lot here that could be considered original, but it does tick some of the same boxes the game does. It is interesting that this is one of the few films in which the disease victims are not crazed 'mutants', and actually operate more like people suffering in a deadly plague. They generally stay away from others, but some could attack when desperate. You don't really see the ordinary sufferers of the plague in the game, if only because so many are assumed to have died.

The road gang, even if it is inspired by Mad Max as much as any of these movies were, has a certain character to it that could be like one in the game. The movie's world doesn't seem expansive enough to imply any other groups like it, however, or that other pockets of life exist. The modification of ordinary vehicles for use in battle also feels pretty similar to how cars end up being used in the game, and this is one of the few films that at least considers resource scarcity in terms of how fuel and food are constant requirements. Although as with many of the details in the film, they don't really contribute to the story and are both easily missed and ignorable.

Roadwar 2000 looks similar to Death Road to Canada. Have anyone played the Dead Road to Canada? What are your reviews on it?GBWhatsApp APK

Florida Man Goes to Washington


It took a day or two for the Gator Goons to set up a new city government in Memphis. The new council would restrict the level of access to firearms for the policing force to avoid what had occurred previously. Anyone in the community was allowed to register as emergency militia members, eligible to keep their own weapons but required to fight for the defense of the city if a larger threat arrived.


There was a shock in the night when the night watch raised the alarm and the whole gang woke up to fight. After initial fears that the former militia that had run the town had come back in strength, the attack was determined to be nothing more than mutants. Yet it was unexpectedly strong, given that no reports of nuclear attacks in the area had reached them.

Florida Man called a meeting to discuss fears about the apparent increase in mutant attacks outside of the previous zones they'd been near.

Cecilia wondered aloud, "Maybe they traveled down from Chicago on derelict river boats?"

"Mutants on boats!" exclaimed Florida Man. He turned to Dade. "What do you think, Donnie? Should we be worried about more of these guys coming our way?"

"I don't know that stuff," he replied. "I study the virus itself. We tried to figure out how it was mutating in the wild. You want epidemiology, talk to Dr. Washington."

Dr. Tranh intervened. "I think we will see more of these attacks, no matter what. Small groups will show up here and there as the mutant variation spreads. Though if we do see a lot of them around, you'll know you're probably close to a bomb site. Or whatever it is that triggers the mutation."

Sgt. Adams concluded, "We just need to stay on task and on our guard. We're getting close to finding all of these scientists, now. Smidlapp next, then the last two."


They were still not free from those who'd broken off from the Tennessee Volunteer Guard. Another splinter group made an attack on them near Nashville. It was easily defeated, but the conflict suggested that the state was teetering on the brink of outright chaos.


The gang skirted northward of Atlanta to head into the Carolinas. Supply levels were still okay and they didn't need to risk any additional encounters with the bigger gangs in the city.

In Greenville, a citizen militia group had established control. The leaders said they'd heard the rumors of people in Tennessee and Florida banding together to maintain order and fend off the Invaders, and figured they ought to give it a shot as well. So far it seemed to be working for them, as the moderate-sized town was quiet and clean.

With the militia's assistance, a search party was sent out for Dr. Smidlapp, but there was no sign of him.


When Florida Man revealed that the Gator Goons had in fact been the ones who won control of Tampa, many impressed locals joined up. They were welcomed despite their lack of training.


Invaders held sway in many other parts of Carolina, but the Goons fought them off capably.


As they continued up through North Carolina, word came to them that Dr. Smidlapp might be hiding out somewhere on the outskirts of Greensboro. The rumors ultimately led them to a small brick-faced house with boarded-up windows. It did not look occupied, but a knock on the door eventually produced a response when Florida Man called out, "Dr. Smidlapp? Dr. Smidlapp, we have news from the GUB."

"Yeah, I am Dr. Smidlapp," said the tired-voiced but youthful man who answered the front door. He had light brown hair and gold-rimmed glasses. He was wearing a dingy lab coat that had dark stains all over it, looking as if he hadn't taken it off in weeks.

"Myron? Myron! it's sure good to see you!" cried out Donnie Dade, rushing forward. "They're bringing us in. Finally, after all this mess."

The young doctor looked bewildered. "Dr. Dade, how the heck did you make it out here? I thought you were out West somewhere."

"I was, I was in California. I wasn't sure this crew would make it all the way to you, but if they can get me here, and find you, they can get us back to Tacoma. How'd you make out with the virus?"

"I had to run away." He kicked futilely at the air as in irritation. "It was all set up in Chapel Hill. I had it nice there. Yeah, they still had some of the labs working after the blackouts. But the invading forces took over the campus, chased us off. Here — I have no almost no equipment, nothing to do. I can only hope they didn't destroy my specimens." He gave them a beseeching look. "You think you guys can get me back in? They might still be where I left them."


With the possibility of recovering more valuable research data for the GUB, the Gator Goons headed east, and Florida Man ordered a raid on the university. Dr. Smidlapp guided them to his lab, but it turned out to have been mostly ransacked. He did find that a small portion of the samples he'd gathered were undamaged, so it was not a complete loss.

While they were out raiding, Griffin was able to do some recruitment in Raleigh, and the size of the gang rose to a healthy number once again.


The group decided to head north before turning back westward. They passed through Virginia and discovered that most of the towns were under control of the Invaders. The enemy presence did not seem to be too strong, as the cities were also fairly quiet.

Florida Man didn't want to deal with too many of the Invaders all at once. He worried that they might be planning to strike back at some point, once news spread to them about the Gator Goons attacking Chapel Hill. He led the gang toward the coast. Virginia Beach turned out to also be under Invader control, so the gang went even farther out to cross the mouth of the Chesapeake.

The bridge was clear, but once they passed through the tunnel section, they found that a blockade had been set at the far exit. They needed to fight their way out. It was hardly a fair fight, however, given how well-armored the Gator Goon vehicles were. The opposing guards were well-armed but few in number. The battle did not last long.

Nevertheless, it led to worries that eliminating the tunnel guard would cause more of the Invaders to chase after them, or set up an ambush somewhere up in Maryland. The gang pulled off the highway and halted just a little ways north of the bridge. They set up camp on the shoreline facing the Chesapeake Bay, in order to keep an eye out on activity across the water.

There were no signs of the enemy coming after them that day, and the crew took the time to relax in the mild spring surf. The beaches had long since been abandoned by any visitors, and the gang was mostly able to unwind after the tense conflicts of the previous few days.

That night, Cecile wandered over to find Florida Man sifting at the embers of a dying fire. He muttered up at her, "I'd relight it, but Jack was yelling at me about having too much light. Anyway, I've been about ready to turn in. Had a couple beers, starting to feel tired."

"Yeah, I've had a few myself." She stood staring at the glowing fire. Then she leaned a little to one side and plopped down on the sand. "You ever wonder what you're going to do when this is finished?"

"Finished? You mean when this disease is gone? Or the Invaders beaten?" He dropped his hands and looked intently at the sand between his feet. "I don't know if we can get that far. I just keep my car going, and it's been doing all right so far. Dang shame we have to fight them off all the time."

"Yeah, but we're on a mission. We have something to do, somewhere to go."

"Oh, you mean when we get all the scientists back? I don't know, just keep fighting our way across the countryside I guess." He tilted his head toward her. "You got some idea of a plan? Where do you wanna go when it's done?"

"I don't know, maybe just back home. Or find a new home, in some other city." She reflected for a second, and added, "Cities ain't what they used to be, though."

"Nothing's what it used to be. I don't know." He coughed, and then stared out across the water. "I sometimes wonder if this is really worth it. We've lost so many people. They all fight for the gang, but is the gang that important? Are these goons going to do it? Do they even need me around?"

She leaned over closer to him. Her eyes glistened in the fading firelight. "You've done so much. You know you might be the one to save your country. That could save the world, really. If they don't stop this virus..." she turned toward him. "It was a brave thing you did, bringing us all together. You've stayed strong through all of this. And I think it was only you who could have done all this. Only you could have dragged us across this country, saved your hometown. Everywhere you go, people look up to you. You are the one who gave them hope."

Her head was nearly on his shoulder now, and then he shifted his arm up to pull her in tightly. He pulled her in close as the embers grew dim.

"That's a nice thing to say. You really think it's true?"

"I know it is. I know that you can make it through this, and... I wouldn't mind staying around with you after it all."

"Cecile—" In the next moment her lips were on his, and then their bodies touched and were entangled on the dark sand.


Morning the next day was calm and quiet, with a gentle breeze blowing in off the ocean. The gang made a late start leaving the beach. They drove up along the shoreline and entered Washington from the east.

It didn't take long for them to find out the city was controlled by the Invaders. Scouts sent to the governmental centers discovered that Capitol Hill was completely occupied by enemy forces. There was no sign of a functioning federal government.

Other scouts, however, reported that at least some of the politicians who had run the country were still convening, but in secret due to the presence of the Invaders.


The next day the gang's leadership met with someone they'd heard was a member of Congress from Florida, since word had reached the secret government of the Floridian origins of the Gator Goons. They went to a non-descript abandoned hotel out along the riverside. The guards in the lobby, all disguised as squatters, checked around to ensure that nobody had followed the gang members. Then they took them via the stairs to a room on one of the upper floors.

Inside the room was a diminutive, broad-shouldered woman in a plum-colored pantsuit. She graciously shook the gang leader's hand. "So you're from Florida, are you?" she said in a soft, yet confident tone. "My name is Carrie Meek, and I'm one of your representatives in Congress. Well I have to tell you, we're doing what we can, but you know, what we can do right now, it isn't much. This country's going through a lot. But you tell me what you need, and I will listen. And if there's anything -- anything at all we can do, we will help you."

Florida Man looked her over and asked, "Say, uh, aren't you related to some baseball player?"

The woman smiled only slightly before responding. "You're thinking of your senator. I am Carrie Meek. You got that? That guy, well, he is a white man, his name's Connie Mack, and yes his grandfather was a baseball manager. But that, sir, that is not me."

Her smile was swiftly replaced with a look of consternation. She continued, "I also have to say that I really don't know where he is. The senators, they were all safe in another location. And then, well, we can't say for sure what happened to them. These invaders came in and attacked, and they probably were safe from that. We sure were. Then again a lot of people have been sick, too. All I know is, they haven't been in communication with us. Congress has not been officially in session, you know. We just do what we can."

The gang explained their mission for the GUB, and how they needed to collect the top-level scientists who had been working around the country. Representative Meek told them she thought there might be someone who could assist them. She suggested that the group should head downstairs, where a simple lunch was being prepared in the hotel's kitchen.

After they had finished their meal, Meek returned with a tall, white-haired man with a high forehead and large, wire-rimmed spectacles.

Meek introduced him, saying, "Folks, I'd like you to meet Jim Bacchus. Now, he's no longer a congressman but he was here in town when everything happened. Since then he's been doing a lot to help out. He's agreed to travel with you guys."

Bacchus shook Florida Man's hand, saying, "I understand you're from Tampa. You know I used to represent the 11th district, back when I first came to Congress."

Florida Man responded, "Yep, I am from Tampa. Got stuck up in New York when it all started. But I got back there, and took the town back! Say, you want to go down and rule Tampa now?"

Bacchus nervously replied, "Not really what I was looking to do at the moment. But do you need some help with your mission? I understand you could use a man like me out there. I've been helping back with the House for a while but wouldn't mind getting out and seeing how the country is faring."

"Yeah, well, I guess we do need someone to talk to the folks now and then. Always a need for more recruits, and I'm not always good at getting people on my side. I do okay, though!" he chuckled. "Now, Griffin, he's all right, he's my kind of guy. But sometimes, you know, we could use someone a little more professional. Like..." he trailed off for a second. "Well, what I'm saying is, I bet you could help us. We're always looking to get people to join up with us, and not just to fight like some of those other gangs. We are actually out here on a mission. We're saving the country!" He smiled broadly as he concluded.

Bacchus responded, "Yes, Representative Meek divulged some of that information. I wouldn't mind hearing the story from those it's happened to. If you can give me a few hours to prepare, I'll be packed and ready to head out, wherever you need me."

As they were leaving the building, Florida Man whispered to Jack, "Hey, I think that guy used to be on TV!"


They departed Washington in the direction of Baltimore, and were attacked by a small group with quality weaponry. Bacchus informed them that in the aftermath of the city's fight against the Invaders, some military units had simply broken off on their own; they would attack anyone and everyone, claiming them all to be enemies of America.

He also told them they should get past Baltimore quickly, as he'd heard rumors that it was controlled by, in his words, "an actual devil-worshipping anarchist cult, and I for one am not eager to find out if those rumors are true".


Nonetheless, the gang needed to get the vehicles fixed up following their battle on the road. They were fortunate to find a repair facility in Towson. They heeded Mr. Bacchus's advice and sped out of the state as soon as possible.


They were able to breathe easier upon reaching Delaware. It seemed the Navy had taken control of most of the larger cities there. The military control was harsh, but it provided an island of relative stability.

As they traveled farther up the coast, and Jim Bacchus got to know more about the gang, he also learned about the number of cities that they had taken control of. He was fascinated at the stories of how different parts of the country had broken up into their own local gang empires, and wondered if the Gator Goons were really able to maintain control even when they had no proper communication network to the cities where they'd installed a government.

Bacchus added that he thought the gang should establish a stronger political presence in at least one city, and use it as a model for others to follow, even if they were not affiliated with the Gator Goons. He suggested New York as a starting point, and perhaps Griffin would do well to start the initiative.

Griffin merely responded, "Mayor of New York City? Whoo-hooo!"

Bacchus further suggested to Griffin that he should do his best to not just keep New York a functioning city, but work on restoring connections to the broader region, and even communication with the outside world as well.

You can never actually have two politicians at once, nor do you need to appoint leaders of cities. What I've done here is something in line with how the game works, though: a politician should only be replaced by an equal or better one, since the better politician will supposedly talk the lesser one out of a job. (It's not entirely clear if this is always true, or if it just has a greater chance of happening, but in my limited experience it seems like you never get a worse politician if you are offered one).


Griffin departed the group for New York, and the Gator Goons set off westward to make the long trip across the country back to the GUB. They sped quickly through Pennsylvania, only stopping to get info on the strength of the gangs that used to run the region, and to get small amounts of food or fuel. Most of the members were battle veterans now, and they had just enough people to survive a big fight if it came to it.


They entered Ohio on a pleasant spring day.


Many gangs had banded together in eastern and central Ohio to halt the spread of the Invaders' influence. The Gator Goons had gained enough respect to be left alone by the gangs now. They were able to move through the towns freely, as long as they didn't threaten any of the locals.


Small bands of cannibals were still crazy enough to try and take on the Goons; it never ended well for them.


As they neared the blasted ruins of Chicago, some more people joined up. Mr. Bacchus barely needed to convince them, as they were eager to escape from the radioactive region.


There were also unavoidable mobs of infected mutants in the area. The gang had to deal with them all the way up through Wisconsin.


On their trip through Milwaukee the second time, the gang earned more respect from the Badgers. Perhaps it was the more impressive set of armored vehicles they were now driving, or perhaps it was Mr. Bacchus's smooth talk that hinted at the Gator Goons importance to the security of the whole country without revealing their mission. Probably it was a mix of both. In the end, the Wisconsinites actually fixed up the cars and sent them on their way with a hot meal.


Not everyone could be placated or impressed so easily. The more belligerent groups of the Badgers were displeased with the warm welcome the gang had received, and gave chase all the way into Minnesota. The battle was brief, however, and the Gator Goons took minimal losses.

Jim Bacchus commented afterward, "You know, you're doing a fine job dealing with all this craziness. I had no idea it had gotten quite this bad out here. "

"Yeah, these guys weren't much," Florida Man responded. "But to tell the truth, I am kind of worried about those Muthuhtruckers out there." He gestured down the highway and the wide prairie to the west.

"Oh, uh, nasty folk out there? Is it even worse farther west, more chaotic?" questioned Bacchus.

Cecile chimed in, "Muthuhtruckers. They're a gang. Literal mothers driving trucks. And pretty well-organized and well-armed."

"And they are some of the meanest motherfuckers this side of the Rockies," added Harold.

Bacchus wondered, "So, what's your plan? Any way around them? Go north, or south?"

"What if we went up into Canada?" suggested Cecile. "We can cross the flat country, get over the Rockies, and then head south through Vancouver. It's warming up now, so the roads should be okay."

Florida Man replied, "Heh, that might be worth a shot. They might recognize me in Winnipeg, though. Guess as long as I stick to men's clothes I should be all right."

Cecile looked at him wonderingly but he walked away before she could inquire further. She turned to Bacchus, who looked utterly puzzled as well, and commented, "With him I've learned it's best not to ask questions sometimes."


While in the end nobody recognized him in the city, the Gator Goons did not want to spend too much time in Winnipeg, as it was controlled by the Mafia.


Nevertheless, they remained nervous about setting out across western Canada without ensuring the vehicles were in good shape. Harold led them to an old bus depot he said he had once visited when, as he commented cryptically, "I took a bunch of college kids from North Dakota on a joyride to Canada."


As they moved through Canada, they heard more reports from locals that gave them a clearer picture. It seemed the mountain routes were rarely traveled west of Calgary, and by now were totally unmaintained. They could get as far as the Rockies without a problem, but it'd be chancy to go any farther on the Canadian highway with big rigs and a bus.

They headed southward and planned a new route across the northern United States.


The spring was mild, and while some roads were indeed starting to wear away from a lack of maintenance, it was possible to find a route acros the northern prairie. None of the road gangs molested them along the way. Florida Man wasn't sure if this was a good sign or not.


In fact it wasn't until they were well into Montana that they had a hostile encounter. It was a handful of beat-up cars, filled with Cannibals desperate for any sort of food after the cold winter.


Cecile led the Mack truck into the fray, and it practically won the fight on its own, taking out two of the hostile vehicles without getting a scratch.


Crack shots fired from the Gatormobile finished off the despicable man-eaters.


They were safely through the mountains and into eastern Washington by mid-May. There was still a bit of snow on the roads, but nothing that really impeded their progress.

A check was made on their food cache from the year before, when they'd first passed through the city. Luckily, most of it was still well-preserved. They stashed a bit more, just in case they needed it again in rougher weather.


Judging that the Invader presence would remain light, the Gator Goons dallied a bit longer in Spokane. They dug through some of the abandoned structures of the city. A hidden bunker in a high school basement turned out to have a huge stockpile of food, more than double their own small cache. They excitedly loaded up the trucks. There was enough to keep the gang going even for some time after their stop at the GUB.


They reached Seattle a day later. Some slightly-experienced soldiers of fortune joined up when they stopped in the city. Mr. Bacchus was getting the hang of selling the gang as 'serving the country and helping others out' without quite revealing what their true mission was.


The next day they furthered that secret mission with another visit to the GUB.
As usual, they were challenged with another question by the men at the gate.

"Tell me! How many cronies are there?" barked one of the guards.

"Cronies?" questioned Mr. Bacchus under his breath.

"It's just what we call the top-level staff who help us out," replied Cecile quietly. "You know, doctors, drill sergeants, or, uh... politicians. We have had a number of them."

Florida Man scratched his chin. "Um... give me a moment. That's a tough question. I've been here before, several times... don't you remember me?"

The guard's expression barely changed, and only seemed to get more unpleasant.

Florida Man replied, "Hard to remember, so much has happened. Well, I think we first had Harper Stevens to help us. Or was it Dr. Balthazar? Anyway, they did different things. Stevens was our politician, and he decided to stay in Canada. Turns out he's running the whole country now. And it is a separate country, I found that out," he said, glancing at Cecile.

He went on. "After he left Elpida was with us. She was a real good talker, really smart. Dr. Balthazar left us and we got Dr. Kassabian. At that Mayo Clinic, somewhere in Wisconsin I think."

"Mayo Clinic's in Minnesota," responded the guard impassively. "You have an answer? Just the doctor and politician?"

"No, we had Sergeant Adams, too. Cannot forget about him! Boy, those three were with us a long time. But they got Elpida, in Tampa. Those damn Snowbirds. My old buddy Blas showed up for a bit, but that didn't work out so well. So we got George Walker. He was okay, nice guy, you know, but not quite as good at keeping us together as Elpida was. Then somewhere out in California, they did something, some, uh, computer guy, I think he's working with them, and we got Griffin and a new doctor, Trini? No, Tranh! And that's about it."

"You done?" asked the guard.

"Uh, wait, no! One more politician -- they sure do go fast, don't they? This guy, you know I call him 'the Millionaire', he's a real Senator or some such. Bacchus. Jim Bacchus. He's still with us now. So what is that, ten all round, right? Is it 'ten'?"

"You know, we just needed to know how many kinds you could have," responded the guard in a more relaxed tone.

"Oh! So the doctor, drill sergeant, and politician, huh? That's, uh..."

"It's okay, you can come on in." The guards opened the gate and the gang leadership and scientists entered the tunnel.


Dade greeted the other scientists at the GUB with genuine enthusiasm. "Finally, we can do some real work!" he commented.


Dr. Smidlapp, as well, was ready to work. He added the samples of the virus he'd brought to the collection at the lab.


With the scientists safely returned, Director Herrell called the group aside and led them into an elevator. He inserted a keycard into a slot on the door panel, then put his thumbprint on a scanning pad. A small light above all of the floor selection buttons lit up, and a few seconds later the elevator began its journey upward.

On the way up, Florida Man asked, "By the way, do you know what happened in Colorado Springs?"

Herrell shook his head and replied, "We don't know. They went dark a few months back, just before Christmas. Maybe someone infiltrated them..." he trailed off. Then he asked, "How did you know about it? Did you go there?"

Florida Man nodded his head. "They set off a bomb in the town. Whole place was destroyed. We were there. I guess if you haven't heard anything it might have gotten the rest of them, too."

Adams interjected, "No, I think they were sealed up. And I can't imagine someone using a nuclear device if they already had someone on the inside. We know the enemy's already been using nukes. They were trying to break them. Or see if the bunker really can stand up to a blast."

Herrell said, "You're probably right. You likely have more knowledge than we do about the situation. All we can hope is that they are safe in there. Maybe we'll get news from them soon. I would have expected some message by now, though. I hope to God no one tries to do that here."

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. They had ascended to a room that was nearly on the surface. It had one high window through which the pale gray light of the outside sky shone down.

"This is our only connection that goes all the way up," commented Herrell. It's a secret exit in case the main entrance is compromised, but it also allows contact with the surface if we have to seal the lab."

Florida Man asked, "So what are we doing up here? You worried about a nuke hitting here, and wanted us to know how to get in?"

The GUB director shook as head, and then led them over to a workbench in the middle of the room. "We've been using the place as a workshop for a while now," he said. The bench was strewn with wires, electronic components, and half-open cases with circuit boards in them. Test equipment covered with little dials and tiny screens was stacked on shelves above the bench.

Director Herrold tapped one of the devices on the bench. It was a beige plastic box about the size of a brick. It had a stubby antenna sticking out one side. There was a circle of LEDs on the top. In the center of them was a painted-on compass rose, and each LED had a label next to it corresponding to one of the compass points. Herrold spoke, "This is something we've been holding back for a while. We couldn't risk having it fall into the wrong hands."

"What's it do?" wondered Florida Man.

"It's a radiolocator. Top secret. You see, each of the scientists, when going into the field, was given a transmitter beacon. The beacons they have can transmit on long distances with very low-power — they come with a miniaturized solar panel and can last for years. Only a few places had the devices that could detect the signal those generate. We had one such detector at the school above-ground, but it got smashed by looters. So we had to build a new one from its parts."

"You telling me you had something that could have helped us find those people... and you didn't let us use it?" exclaimed Cecile.

"And you left it out in the open?" added Adams.

"The transmitter uses a digitally scrambled signal; only we can detect it. It also needs to be used above ground. We couldn't risk having this fall into enemy hands, or given away to the wrong people. When it was attacked, we had a team up right away to deal with them, but it did get damaged. We had to do a lot of work to fix it, you know." He turned to Florida Man. "You've proven yourselves, now. We can trust you with it to finish the job."

"But there's two scientists left. How do we select the frequency of the one we're trying to locate?" asked Adams.

"Well, for, uh, security reasons, it only locks on to one signal at a time. Once you locate one of them, he can turn off his transmitter and it'll automatically switch."

"Okay, man, let's see it in action! Where's the next one we gotta get?" asked Florida Man.

"We try not to turn it on too much," the director responded. "So far we've only been able to test it with the beacons of the people you brought in already, tested out in locations around the state. I'd still have to go up higher to pick up the signal of the ones in the field." He cleared his throat and continued, "Even though this is a receiver, there's still a chance that just operating something like this could be picked up by the enemy. We're scientists here, not exactly radio engineers."

He paused a moment as his typically stolid expression nearly cracked, and then added, "We did the best we could. Let me run you through how it works, though."

In other versions, or at least the C64 version, you could actually switch the radio between the two signals. That's not the only apparent change in the Amiga version that I was unaware of, though, as will become clear in the next update.


Florida Man assembled the gang for an inspection in Portland. He had Adams assess the quality of the forces.


In the middle of the assembly they received a harsh reminder that this city was not under their control. A barrage of gunfire from one of the high buildings of the city rained down on the lined-up gang members. Several were lost just standing there, and no trace of the enemy could be found afterwards.


Another attack came the next day as the gang continued the search for supplies. This time, at least, the Gator Goons were able to fight back. After the fight Bacchus urged them to head out of town and stick to their final mission rather than continue trying to face off with the Invaders. Florida Man agreed that it wasn't worth it to stay, and the gang drove southward.


They were able to find some new recruits to replace losses in Salem and Eugene, where the local government that the Gator Goons installed had inspired many to dream of joining the fabled gang itself.


Cecile suggested to Florida Man that this might also be a safe location to try out the radiolocator.

"All right folks, let's take a look at this thing," called out Florida Man. He opened the trunk of the Gatormobile and removed the book-sized object from it. He then closed the trunk lid and set the locator device on top of it.

Jack wandered over. "What's going on?" he questioned.

Cecile responded, "He's about to test the device! The scientist-finder."

Adams, who'd been eyeing the scene with moderate interest, called out, "Hold on, we probably ought to be on higher alert." He began to motion to some of the guards and ordered a few gang members to open one of the trucks and bring out more weapons.

By now Harold had joined the crowd around the car and absent-mindedly added, "Yeah that might be a good idea."

Florida Man looked around a moment, and then said, "You know what..." and he plucked the device from the back of his car. He then moved away from the vehicle to a nearby rock and placed the radiolocator on it. "You never know what'll happen," he commented nervously.

Dr. Tranh had noticed the commotion and walked over as well. "Just how powerful is that radio, anyway?" she asked.

"Hey, Adams, you ready?" asked Florida Man. Then he hit the rocker switch on the front. After a few seconds, the device grew warm, and the ring of eight amber LEDs all blinked twice. Then a single one of them turned on. The light shifted from one indicator to the next, showing that it was in a search pattern. It cycled slowly around once, twice, and on the third time the light started moving back the other way. It wavered back and forth between the LEDs on the right side until a single one stayed on steadily, the one right next to a stenciled-on 'E'.

Ravagers (1979)

"It seems to me that hiding in fear is not the answer. There may be something better out there."



The opening informs us that after some past 'disasters', nothing seemed to grow again. The oceans are barren, no crops on the land survive, and no children are born. There's been a breakdown in society as the world slowly dies. As the narrator tells it, some people gathered together in caves or secret places to work together. Others rove the land, hunting and killing, and they are called 'Ravagers'.

We see a man, Falk, scouting through a ruined city for old canned food. He returns home, but unknown to him, a gang has followed him. He talks with Miriam, his wife or maybe daughter (the actors are 15 years apart, and he treats her very patronizingly) about needing to move on soon. She has hopes of seeing fish in the ocean, and imagines there must be some place where there is children. Falk asserts that the seas are poisoned and no fish could be there.

They are suddenly attacked by the gang, and flee up to a tower at a ruined steel mill. However, some of the gang members are already there. Falk is knocked off the tower into a pit of water, and Miriam is kidnapped. When he awakens, he heads to their former home, only to find her dead.

Bent on revenge, Falk finds the Ravager camp and stabs one of the men in the neck. He seems genuinely horrified at this act and flees into the wilderness. The leader of the Ravagers (who remains unnamed and only credited as 'Ravager Leader') swears to find him, and sends out his gang into the storm.

Falk wanders the wasteland for a while, scavenging for food and hiding out in wrecked houses for shelter. During this time, he has a flashback in which he recalls Miriam speaking of a place on the beach called 'Genesis'. He then meets up with a man who's been blinded, who says he used to be a lawyer, and he was 'thrown out' of the tribe he was with since they didn't have enough. Falk convinces him to take him back to the tribe. They arrive at a large cave near a cliff, and the people above throw rocks down at the pair while Falk tries to shout at them to listen. The man who led him there is killed, and Falk runs off.



Next he finds some rusted old rockets and enters what looks to be a relatively undamaged old space facility. On the inside, an elderly man in a US Army uniform shoots some warning shots at him, and then comes forward to talk. He identifies himself as 'Master Sergeant Kramer' and despite being the sole occupant of the building, he quotes the orders he has been given to treat any trespassers as looters. He refuses to listen to Falk's appeal that the government doesn't exist anymore and only survival matters. Just before the man is about to execute him, Falk rushes him, knocks him out, and takes his gun. After this incident, the Sergeant (who is never referred to by any other name again) starts treating him as his superior and referring to him as 'Major'.

Treated to meal of C rations, Falk insists he's not a Major. He does ask for help learning to shoot one of the numerous guns at hand, and the Sergeant obliges. He then tells Falk he knows where there's a settlement of people, and Falk surmises it must be a 'Flocker' camp.

When the Sergeant takes him there, he finds that it's a large settlement of people living inside a cave. The people seem pretty happy, as they're playing bluegrass music, dancing, and willing to share their food with him.

One man in the crowd stares at a dancing woman for a while, and then rushes to fondle her. She lights him on fire as an act of self-defense. The crowd seem nonplussed while this is happening; they mostly just shout at the two, although after the woman escapes they start to kick the man. Falk approaches the woman. He tells her he got separated from his people, and offers her some tobacco. They go to her chambers; she negotiates with him for half his tobacco, and it seems like he knows exactly the sort of deal he is making.

The woman (whose name is Faina) overhears him speaking of Genesis in his sleep, and asks him to take her with him. He doesn't want to be burdened by her, though. He gives her the remainder of his tobacco and prepares to take off. The Sergeant is outside playing the piano and spots Falk leaving. He follows after him and catches up in some burned-out woods, and then proceeds to warns him about the Ravagers. Then the Sergeant starts shooting into the darkness, shouting that "they're out there". Falk then discovers that someone actually is there — it's Faina, who has been following them for over a day.

The three continue onward through the ruined land. Faina tells Falk she cannot return to her people because "once you leave, you can't go back — they kill you". He tells her he doesn't want her dead, just "gone".

The Ravagers find someone from the Flocker settlement (it turns out to be a man who gave Falk some food for free) and torture him to death.

After the trio arrives at a somewhat nicer large house, Faina seems upset that Falk doesn't like her and won't let her sleep in his room. She puts on a dress that she found in the house. He gets upset and wants her to take the dress off. Then he jumps up and shoves her against the wall, saying there's no room in his life for anyone. She tells him a story of how, when her older sister died, she inflicted pain on Faina to make her not be ashamed. I guess it's supposed to show that she's willing to put up with suffering [and abuse, though the film is ill-equipped to handle that topic well].

The Ravagers then show up at the house. Falk shoots one dead and escapes while the Sergeant stays behind to hold off the others. Falk has a moment of regret about leaving the Sergeant behind, but it doesn't last long.

The Ravager Leader peers through binoculars while inside the house, and then this cuts to him doing the same outside, in a sandy area. They let the Sergeant loose, apparently in order to track him (despite the fact that he hardly knows better than they do where Falk has gone).



Nearing the ocean, Falk and Faina finds a group of people looking well-fed and wearing new clothing, like people "used to look" as Falk comments. He holds them at gunpoint. Faina asks if they're from Genesis. They are somewhat noncommittal, and proceed to get into their boat. Falk maybe forces them to take him to wherever they're going (they don't quite seem to be impressed by his gun, though to be fair this is actually a decent confusingly tense moment). Just as they're leaving, the Sergeant catches up with them and gets on the boat. From a distance, we see that the Ravagers have their eyes on him.

The boat takes off and heads around toward a small harbor, and it turns out they are heading to a large ship that forms a secure settlement of people. When they climb up on the ship, the people eye the new arrivals curiously, but don't seem to question or bother them.

Inside, Falk discovers the ship is run by 'Rann' and that they have supplies on nearby ships to last for 50 years. The generator also works and they seemingly have a lot of diesel fuel. Falk notes that he hasn't seen electric lights since he was a kid.

The leader of the boat crew that Falk ran into (whose name is Brown) says he heard the girl mention 'Genesis' and demands to know if Falk knows where it is. Brown then shows them a group of people being held prisoner for wanting to leave the ship. He tells them that Rann won't let anyone leave, and it seems as though he wants to revolt if Falk can lead them to Genesis.

Briefly, we see that the Ravagers have tracked them to the boat.



Falk finally meets Rann when they all have a meal together. Falk says the group reminds him of the Flockers, but Rann insists that his group is distinct from Flockers. Falk draws some comparisons to the Flockers (he says both groups hide from the world and fear strangers, despite the second thing being the exact opposite of his own experience). When served a fish that another person mentions was caught just that day, he realizes the seas are not poisoned, and makes a speech about the land possibly recovering. Rann disagrees and thinks it is not worth taking a chance when they have such a decent situation on board the ship; Falk feels that they are dooming themselves eventually if they don't plan for the future.

Rann makes it clear that they won't be allowed to leave. He then declares that one of their society's rules is that a good-looking unattached woman is a threat to the community, and that Faina must choose someone to be with. She chooses Falk, and Rann declares them to be married. (This is at least suitably tense and creepy, as Rann gives strong cult leader vibes.)

The crew begins to celebrate the new couple, though Falk stays out of the festivities. Brown comes to Falk again and makes plain that he does want him to lead a rebellion to escape the ship. Outside the ship, we see the Ravagers overpower the guards on the boarding ladders. Just then the Sergeant relates how the Ravagers cut him loose, which immediately alarms both Falk and Rann. Seconds later, actual alarms ring out on the ship, because the Ravagers have boarded.

Rann is killed in the fight that ensues, though before he dies he fires off a flare gun starts a fire in the fuel canisters. Many of the rest on board flee the ship. Falk encounters the Ravager leader and gets in a fistfight while the ship starts exploding. An explosion knocks Falk off into the water. The Ravager Leader is still trapped on-board, and he dies in a fireball.

Falk and the others wash up on the beach. They all seem to be looking to him for guidance. He looks at them and says, "Genesis? I guess we're it."



I have to say I was rather disappointed in this one. I'd been kind of saving it as it seemed to promise a different sort of post-apocalyptic story, one that was possibly more grounded, and considered the motivation that various groups might have for their actions. Unfortunately it's a mediocre film that only barely scratches the surface of those ideas, and fails to deliver satisfactorily in any other way.

The film suffers largely from the fact that it's trying to touch on the the themes of these various groups but also be a 'chase' movie. The Ravagers are always on the tail of the protagonist, which means that any sort of meaningful discussion is typically interrupted in the middle by an encounter with them (or cuts back to show them making progress, with almost no dialogue). The action, while competently-directed, isn't that thrilling, and the stakes of the chase hardly ever change. The Ravagers themselves aren't characterized very well either. The unnamed Leader barely speaks; the best impression of him we get is a roughly 30-second long scene in which he just seems unable to derive pleasure from life. None of the others have any character to them. Several times they discover remnants of the characters' presence that really only make sense to the audience, and wouldn't be of much interest to this group who never witnessed what happened. At best, they're a force of nature that will eventually bring an end of the story. Whatever philosophy of life they represent is only conveyed by those speaking about them.

The movie is not wholly lacking in some interesting details, though. The actual nature of what happened is never made explicit, and is instead related in bits and pieces. The Sergeant has a vague memory of digging a mass grave back when the military existed. Falk finds some old newspapers — they talk of oncoming threats to world peace and people fleeing the cities in fear, but of course none that record the event itself. I did like that Falk never really gets comfortable with violence, even when he engages in it, and the reaction to his ineffectual attempts to threaten people with guns are almost humorous at times. Additionally, this is not a blasted desert environment that many of these films opt for. Instead, it looks more or less like the eastern United States (outside of the bits that look like California) as they progress from a city through wooded wilderness down to the ocean. Even the gradual hints making it clear that the world is recovering are nice touches.

None of those are quite enough to salvage the film. It doesn't get dramatic enough nor is it exciting enough. There is also the rather off-putting and pervasive misogyny that I've alluded to in the summary. To some extent this is meant to showcase Falk's own 'growth' and, if you want to be very charitable, the moral depravity of the dying world. It still feels pretty regressive. It doesn't do a good job contrasting the ways people live in the post-apocalyptic world it sets up (I could venture a guess that the source book is maybe better, since the set-up of the 'tribes' seems fairly solid). The action and overall plot is fairly tepid, and aside from the moderately realistic feel and unusual setting (for the genre), there isn't much reason to watch it.

Connection to Roadwar 2000



The poster for this suggests a ruined cityscape, and a lot more urban combat than the film has in it. There isn't much actual combat except for the Ravagers chasing after Falk, and even the final battle for the ship isn't involved, since it turns into a flight from a burning ship rather quickly. Along with that, the city environment is left early on, and the rest of the time is spent in woods, or caves, or rural houses, until finally reaching the ship and the beach in the last act. The setting, about 50 years after the disaster, is one where cars no longer are usable, so road war combat isn't even possible. Guns still exist (and are fired off with some regularity), although a fair amount of the fighting is just hand-to-hand. So some part of the game isn't reflected here. On the other hand, the world of the film is a collapsed United States, and given that the game allows ranging all over North America, the film maybe reflects the world of the game a bit better than most. Of course, one can imagine the world of Roadwar 2000 looking like a wasteland, but in context, only a handful of cities have had nuclear devices go off, and the majority of the collapse has come about due to the virus, not from anything more destructive to the environment. While the communities in Ravagers are clearly shrunk down from the original population of the country, the general feeling that the landscape still looks mostly the same is what I imagine for the game, and try to convey.