The Adventurer's Consumer Guide: Goblin, Give me the Cow-o-Meter

Put your Let's Plays in here.
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Doesn't seem like there's much else here from what I can tell. Easy to come back if you disagree, of course. For now though:
>E

Capacious cave

This cave has exits to the west and northwest.
A goblin woman is standing here. She is wearing a medallion, and carrying a purse. You are not quite sure, but with her long ears, sharp yellow teeth, and big feet you think she is pretty cute by goblin standards.
> _

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Let's talk to her. If she doesn't like us we'll have our goblin buddy talk to her.

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>TALK GOBLIN
"Hey, what are you doing here?" you ask.
"I work here. I'm a guard."
"What's it like?"
"Kind of lonely. I wish there were some other goblins around."
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>what are you guarding?

> goblin, talk goblin woman

I don't think the goblin sidekick came with us when we teleported. He was operating the lever. Seems like we will have to go search for him.

Oh, I had for some reason assumed the hole down was the only way. Hmm. Well, sword in handle plan can be tested later.

> read medallion
> nw (expecting to get blocked by the guard but should check)

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also obviously use cow o meter on guard

Standing order to use it on every new encounter.

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> call for goblin sidekick
> search cave

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>ASK GOBLIN WHAT SHE IS GUARDING
I didn't understand that sentence.
I tried a few permutations, and exactly none of them gave anything. Kinda thinking asking about specific things isn't possible here.
>GOBLIN, TALK TO GOBLIN
"Yeah, right!"

>READ MEDALLION
It contains no writing.
The medallion does do something, but it's related to a thing we haven't done at all yet.
>NW
The female goblin blocks your path. "You can't go in here," she says.

>POINT COW-O-METER AT GOBLIN
According to the cow-o-meter, the female goblin has seen 51 and a half cows.
...I'm curious about that half a cow. Where'd the other half go?

Heck, which half?
>SEARCH
In this game you can't examine things. Instead use either "look" to see descriptions of the things in the room you are in, or "inventory" to see descriptions of what you are carrying. You also can't use "look inside", "look under", "look behind", "look <direction>" or "search". But you can use "read".
Updated map:

Image

> _

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Guess we'll move on elsewhere for now, then. We've two places that we haven't so much as looked at yet. I think the sensible one to go to first is the one that isn't going to definitely kill us.
>W

>DOWN
You jump down the hole. You land in a pile of hay. You get up.

>SW

>NW

>NW

Large cave

This cave has exits to the northwest and southeast.
A huge black safe stands here, closed. Due to the unevenness of the cave floor, there is a gap between the safe and the floor, big enough for somebody to crawl down into.
A shoal of small fish crawls around on the floor. They look creepy. Their skins are white and look almost transparent. Their eyes are also white and don't have pupils.

The goblin comes running after you.

The sword starts shaking like crazy.

You have a hard time holding on to the sword, and you have to struggle to keep from slashing yourself.
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>drop sword
>save game
>look fish
>look safe
>send goblin into gap

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Those fish look like axolotl. If so they should be harmless. Maybe whatever is in that safe is the danger, and it's not keeping us out, but rather keeping something in?

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>DROP SWORD
Dropped.

>SAVE
Ok.
File saved as LP3.glksave
>TAKE FISH
You manage to catch a sluggish fish.

>TAKE FISH
(the shoal of fish)
You manage to catch a fat fish.

>OPEN SAFE
You try some random combinations, but the safe remains locked.
Still can't look at/examine specific objects, areas, people or what have you. This is close enough, at least.

...No, there's no real way of knowing here that you need to take two fish. Or that it'll give you two different fish. What you need a second one for is very dumb and not obvious or intuitive at all. I'm taking the opportunity to grab it now to save time.
>GOBLIN, DOWN
"After you boss."
Oh and of course:
>POINT COW-O-METER AT FISH
(the shoal of fish)
Instead of doing things to the shoal of fish, try catching a fish and do things to it.

>POINT COW-O-METER AT SLUGGISH FISH
According to the cow-o-meter, the sluggish fish has never seen a cow.

>POINT COW-O-METER AT FAT FISH
According to the cow-o-meter, the fat fish has never seen a cow.
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> put fish in gap

If that won't work

> enter gap

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>PUT FISH IN GAP
Which do you mean, the shoal of fish, the fat fish or the sluggish fish?

>PUT FAT FISH IN GAP
No need to mess around with the gap, just enter it.

>DOWN

A tight room

This is a tight tiny room formed between the safe and the uneven floor. You can barely move. Unfortunately the safe seems to be just as solid on the underside. The only way out is up.

The goblin crawls in with you. Your bodies are pushed together. "This is uncomfortable," the goblin mutters.
There is something we can do here, but it's not the most obvious thing. That's basically thanks to everything we've done before now, though.

Updated map:



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Well clearly a goal for later is to take our new fish friends to see a cow.

Also has an extra room appeared on the map? I thought the fish and safe were directly after the Hoverist, not another room away.

>knock on safe

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...Oh, yeah, that extra "?" shouldn't be there; most likely an overlay error. I'll remove on the next update, definitely.

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>KNOCK ON SAFE
You hammer on the safe, but it is pretty solid.
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The sword thought we were in danger in this room. The fish haven't done anything and we now have two of them in our pockets. The game is telling us to do things to the fish. I get the feeling we're missing something that's probably really obvious :downs: but I can't see anything useful in our inventory unless we shoot the safe with our crossbow or something, and if we do that I wouldn't be surprised if the bolt ricochets and kills us. I guess we could use the staff to remove the extra fish but how would that help. We could also kill a fish if we manage to use the sword without shredding ourselves, or tell the goblin to do it, but I don't see how that helps either.

If what we're meant to do isn't obvious because of what we've done before... was it something to do with the gremlin, maybe?

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> use staff on safe (for want of a better idea)

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Sorry about delay. Got rather distracted by Other Things for a bit there...
>SHOOT SAFE
You pull the trigger. The arrow magically returns to the crossbow and the crossbow is loaded again. Huh? That happened fast. The arrow did not even have time to leave the crossbow entirely! In fact, it barely moved!

>HIT SAFE WITH ARROW
You hack away at the safe, but it is pretty solid.

>GOBLIN, HIT SAFE WITH STAFF
"That's not alive, boss."
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