Hurtin' for a Pnurtin' - Let's Play MLB 07: The Show

[CirclMastr]

Hello and welcome to this Let's Play of MLB 07: The Show. It is a baseball game for PS2 and is based on the 2007 season. It has someone from the Mets on the cover, so you know it's good!

Ah, but what is baseball, you might ask? For that, I heartily suggest reading the Let's Play of The Closer by TheMcD. He talks about baseball while following the adventures of one specific baseball player, Bobson Dugnutt, in his quest to win the World Series.

Ah, but why LP a baseball game from 2007? Because MLB 07: The Show featured the debut of a brand new game mode, called Road to the Show. In this mode, we can create a custom player and play an entire season - nay, an entire career! - strictly from the perspective of that player. Like The Closer, we will be only control one baseball player, on both offense and defense. He will go from a rookie in the minors to a major league all-star, maybe! Hopefully! Someday!

While I am allegedly proficient at this video game, I know less about baseball than other people. Fortunately, I will bring other people along, to helpfully fill the gaps in my knowledge with knowledge of their own. Or at least jokes at my expense.

Episode 1 - Spring Training part 1 featuring TheMcD and Danaru
Episode 2 - Spring Training part 2 featuring TheMcD and Danaru
Episode 3 - Spring Training part 3 featuring TheMcD and Danaru
Episode 4 - Spring Training part 4 featuring TheMcD and Danaru
Episode 5 - April 2007 part 1 featuring DiscountCleric and Miz Kriss
Episode 6 - April 2007 part 2 featuring DiscountCleric and Miz Kriss
Episode 7 - April 2007 part 3 featuring DiscountCleric and Miz Kriss
Episode 8 - April 2007 part 4 featuring DiscountCleric, FairGame, and PolarMic
Episode 9 - April 2007 part 5 featuring DiscountCleric, FairGame, and PolarMic
Episode 10 - April 2007 part 6 featuring DiscountCleric, FairGame, and PolarMic
Episode 11 - April 2007 part 7 featuring DiscountCleric, FairGame, and PolarMic
Episode 12 - May 2007 featuring TheMcD and Danaru
Episode 13 - June 2007 featuring TheMcD and Danaru
Episode 14 - July 2007 featuring TheMcD and Danaru
Episode 15 - August 2007 featuring TheMcD and Danaru
Episode 16 - April 2008 featuring bunnyofdoom and Mistywave
Episode 17 - May 2008 featuring bunnyofdoom and Mistywave
Episode 18 - June 2008 featuring bunnyofdoom, Mistywave, and Miz Kriss
Episode 19 - July 2008 featuring bunnyofdoom, Mistywave, and Miz Kriss
Episode 20 - August 2008 featuring DiscountCleric and Miz Kriss
Episode 21 - Spring Training 2009 featuring DiscountCleric and Miz Kriss
Episode 22 - April 2009 featuring DiscountCleric and Miz Kriss
Episode 23 - Spring Training with Turgid Pnurtis featuring DiscountCleric, habeasdorkus, and Miz Kriss
Episode 24 - April 2007 featuring HulkaMatt and PolarMic
Episode 25 - May 2007 featuring HulkaMatt, Miz Kriss, and PolarMic
Episode 26 - June 2007 featuring HulkaMatt, Miz Kriss, and PolarMic
Episode 27 - July 2007 featuring DiscountCleric and Miz Kriss
Episode 28 - August 2007 featuring habeasdorkus and Miz Kriss
Episode 29 - April 2008 featuring habeasdorkus and Miz Kriss
Episode 30 - May 2008 featuring habeasdorkus and Miz Kriss
Episode 31 - June 2008 featuring Danaru, DiscountCleric, and Miz Kriss
Episode 32 - July 2008 featuring Miz Kriss
Episode 33 - August 2008 featuring Miz Kriss
Episode 34 - September 2008 featuring Danaru, habeasdorkus, and Miz Kriss
Episode 35 - April 2009 featuring bunnyofdoom, Danaru, habeasdorkus, and Miz Kriss
Episode 36 - May 2009 featuring bunnyofdoom, Danaru, habeasdorkus, and Miz Kriss
Episode 37 - June 2009 featuring bunnyofdoom, Danaru, habeasdorkus, and Miz Kriss
Episode 38 - July 2009 featuring bunnyofdoom, HulkaMatt, Danaru, Miz Kriss, and The_Goog
Episode 39 - August 2009 featuring bunnyofdoom, Mistywave, Danaru, Miz Kriss, and The_Goog
Episode 40 - September 2009 featuring bunnyofdoom, Mistywave, HulkaMatt, Danaru, Miz Kriss, and The_Goog
Episode 41 - April 2010 featuring bunnyofdoom, Mistywave, Danaru, Miz Kriss, and The_Goog

[CirclMastr]

Now we all know what the most important thing about baseball is, but what's the second most important thing? Statistics and records! They are so important that they've even been codified into video games, in the form of achievements! Listed below are some key achievements for Flaccid J. Pnurtis to earn, but feel free to post suggestions for new achievements to add to the list!

• UNLOCKED - Get called up to The Show (AKA the majors)
• Become a starter in The Show
• Become a starting designated hitter in The Show
• Go an entire game in the field with no fielding opportunities
• Bunt in a run (without a sacrifice bunt)
• Hit at least 3 foul balls in the same at-bat
• Get thrown out on the basepaths three times in a game
• Complete game without making contact with the ball (only walks or called third strikes)
• Hit a home run off a knuckleball pitcher
• Hit a home run off a knuckleball
• Fuck the DH: Hit a home run as a pitcher
• Hit a grand slam
• Hit the cycle
• Steal home plate
• The Flaccid Special: Get picked off
• Score a run by stealing every base in the same inning
• UNLOCKED - Heat Arm: Throw a pitch clocked at 100mph or greater
• Now That's a Spicy Meatball!: Throw a pitch right in the middle of the strike zone, but still get a strike
• Deceiver: Throw nothing but balls at a batter and get them to strike out
• UNLOCKED - Strike out the side: come in & get 3 straight strikeouts
• Master of Illusion: Throw nothing but balls for an entire inning, and get three strikeouts
• Immaculate Inning: strike out the side on 3 pitches each
• Pnurtis Family Special: leg out a "sacrifice" bunt (reaching on an error counts)
• Why Did I Bother: one pitch appearance
• Can I Sit Down Now? aka Grumpy Joe's, Gotta Go!: three outs on three total pitches
• Walk It Off: walk in the game-winning run
• Fireman: When you're brought in with less than 2 outs and runners in scoring position, get out of the inning without surrendering any runs
• Gasoline on the fire: When you're brought in with your team down less than 2 runs, surrender at least 3 runs
• The Farnsworth Special: Come into a game, blow a save, and get the win
• The Three True Outcomes: Have nothing but strikeouts, dingers, and walks for an entire episode
• Reverse TOOTBLAN: Pick off a runner at any base
• Eagle Eye: Successfully prevent 2 stolen bases in one game
• Delay Tactics: Repeatedly throw the ball back and forth to the second baseman until you are ejected from the game
• Get a double play on a fly out
• Meet all contract goals
• Smash Mouth Reference: Make it to the All-Star game
• Win the All-Star game
• Going Postal: Make it to the postseason
• The Postman Always Delivers: Win a game in the postseason
• Win the World Series
• The Postman Always Rings Twice: Win the World Series twice
• Win the Most Valuable Player award
• Defeat Kevin Youkilis
• Bangin On A Trash Can: Bean Carlos Beltran
• Break the single-season record for home runs
• Break the single-season record for hits
• Break the single-season record for stolen bases
• Break the all-time record for home runs
• Break the all-time record for hits
• Break the all-time record for stolen bases
• Become the highest paid player in baseball

A Pnurtis-sized shoutout to onewordalllowercase in the YouTube comments for scanning in their copy of Flaccid J. Pnurtis's rookie card:


Pnurtis-sized thanks to oldskool for eavesdropping on Flaccid and Turgid's holiday reunion:

[CirclMastr]

Episode 1 - Spring Training part 1 featuring TheMcD and Danaru

The LP has to start with the creation of a custom character, and boy do my guests have creativity. Now this trundling abomination will haunt the Toronto Blue Jays for all time! Or at least for the duration of spring training.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 2 - Spring Training part 2 featuring TheMcD and Danaru

The worst thing about Pnurtis is that he's somehow NOT the worst player on the Toronto Blue Jays.

[Wakkerdis]

Do you know if the quality of the manager has any effect on how the team performs or who they trade? Like they might just trade you away because they're stupid and don't like having to pronounce your name, or is it all stats-based, or random?

[CirclMastr]

In casual play, I've honestly never encountered a trade while in Road to the Show mode. Even when I have a record-breaking all-star, all I've seen is just more/better contracts being offered when the current one expires.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 3 - Spring Training part 3 featuring TheMcD and Danaru

I'm not going to sugar-coat this (because then Pnurtis would eat it) but his performance isn't entirely terrible in this episode.

The Blue Jays as a whole? That's a different story....

[CirclMastr]

Y'all might want to take a gander at the second post.

[Hurrock]

I love this series so far, and especially the career highlights where F. Pnurtis watches someone else play baseball.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 4 - Spring Training part 4 featuring TheMcD and Danaru

Please enjoy the final part of spring training, as clearly Flaccid J. Pnurtis needs no further training.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 5 - April 2007 part 1 featuring DiscountCleric and MizKriss

Flaccid J. Pnurtis starts what will surely be a long and illustrious career.

And hey, speaking of his career, the second post has been updated with some achievements for Pnurtis to work toward! If you have any suggestions for achievements to add to that list, post them here. But also, I want to commemorate said achievements in some form. If you have any suggestions for something I personally or the thread generally should do to celebrate the unlocking of an achievement, post them here as well!

[Wakkerdis]

I just realized that Pnurtis's card is a shot in front of the ROUS sign. (At other times you could see on screen that it seems to be ''Rat And Termite Specialists' or maybe 'Rid and Terminate Specialists' which means they're contract killers. Either way I don't know why they are giant.)

So how likely is it to get to the Majors in one season of this game? Do we need to get our abilities to a certain level to advance, or just perform well enough?

[CirclMastr]

Episode 6 - April 2007 part 2 featuring DiscountCleric and MizKriss

Flaccid Pnurtis, despite everything including himself, is not doing poorly. It's hard to say he's doing well, but it's something.

The list of achievements has been updated. Also I'm going to specify ahead of time that he has to be called up to the majors to do any of these achievements. Minor league baseball isn't an achievement, it's the MVP (Minimum Viable Product). Could you imagine creating a custom player so bad that he gets zero offers after spring training?

[CirclMastr]

Episode 7 - April 2007 part 3 featuring DiscountCleric and MizKriss

Thus ends another recording session. We're doing about one week per session, how many weeks are in a baseball season...

At the rate the game makes you participate you're pretty much playing Pnurtis' career in real-time.

Oh god

[CirclMastr]

Episode 8 - April 2007 part 4 featuring DiscountCleric, FairGame, and PolarMic

If you think my obligation to post videos and/or grind levels is bad, wait until you hear about pro sports labor disputes! We need some drama to contrast the levity of Flaccid J. Pnurtis, after all.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 9 - April 2007 part 5 featuring DiscountCleric, FairGame, and PolarMic

There is discussion about moving Flaccid J. Pnurtis to the catcher position, but catchers do very little and don't nearly fail so dramatically or comedically.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 10 - April 2007 part 6 featuring DiscountCleric, FairGame, and PolarMic

Flaccid J. Pnurtis, in an effort to do even less work during a baseball game, has discovered that you don't actually have to swing the bat if you bunt.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 11 - April 2007 part 7 featuring DiscountCleric, FairGame, and PolarMic

This is the last episode of April 2007, I promise.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 12 - May 2007 featuring TheMcD and Danaru

Yes, the entire month is in one episode. Things get crazy.

[CirclMastr]

We unlocked an achievement! Thanks to whatever random number goddess is in charge of MLB 07 The Show, Pnurtis got called up to the majors. I literally can't remember who suggested it, but we're going to celebrate achievements with some variety of baked good. So, for our first achievement, let's celebrate with...

Official Flaccid J. Pnurtis Choco-chip Cookies™


Take one stick of room temperature unsalted butter, and 2 cups of the sugar of your choice (I go with half a cup of white sugar plus one and a half cups of brown sugar). Throw it in the bowl of a stand mixer and mix with the paddle attachment until combined. Or use your arm muscles if you don't have a stand mixer. Pnurtis has no arm muscles though, so they won't be Official if you do that.


Beat in two cold eggs, one at a time.


In a separate bowl, you want 11.5 ounces of all-purpose flour (yes, go by weight, not volume), half a teaspoon of baking soda, a healthy pinch of kosher salt, and three-quarters of a teaspoon of cinnamon. Yes, we're flavoring the cookies themselves with cinnamon instead of vanilla extract. It's good! Anyway, whisk that all together until it's homogenous like this. You want that cinnamon well dispersed.


Slowly beat the dry stuff into the wet stuff. I usually do two additions, so half the flour mixture, beat until combined, then the other half, beat until that's combined. Adding it all at once is asking for a flour explosion in your face, but you also don't want to overmix the cookie dough.


These wouldn't be choco-chip cookies without choco-chips, of course. Weigh out a pound of choco-chips (any less would be unacceptable to Flaccid J. Pnurtis) and stir those in until they're well dispersed. Still be careful about overmixing though.

At this stage, you want to cover the dough and throw it in the fridge for a couple hours, up to overnight. I didn't because I was kind of pressed for time when I was making these, but you absolutely should not skip this step!


Roll out portions as chonky as Pnurtis himself, preferably by weight. Or use an ice cream scoop to get nice big chonkers. Plop 'em on a baking sheet with parchment paper, and put them in a preheated 350 degree oven until done. Time can vary based on local conditions, so keep an eye on them. For reference, mine took twenty minutes.


Remove to racks to cool while still on the parchment paper, and let them cool for at least 5-10 minutes. Again, I didn't refrigerate the dough, so they ran into each other a bit, but if you fridge your dough like you're supposed to, they will hold a rounded Pnurtis shape better. Do as I say, not as I do!

There you go! Now you too can enjoy Official Flaccid J. Pnurtis Choco-chip Cookies™ from the comfort of your own home!

[CirclMastr]

Episode 13 - June 2007 featuring TheMcD and Danaru

I'm a little upset Pnurtis is still playing in the majors. How is he supposed to get training points if all he does is pinch-run (and tootblan)?

[Wakkerdis]

I guess it might happen for replacing injured players, but is it ever common for someone to get called up in such circumstances and then end up staying on the team, even as a bench player?

[CirclMastr]

In my previous experience with the game, which admittedly is getting called up as pinch hitter rather than this weird pinch runner thing, you usually get sent back down in a couple weeks. We'll see how long this lasts.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 14 - July 2007 featuring TheMcD and Danaru

I'm not sure what the best part of this episode is, but despite talking about Frankfurter-by-the-Foot, that is not something I will recreate at home.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 15 - August 2007 featuring TheMcD and Danaru

So hey, it turns out that the RTX 3000-series is still impossible to find. Nvidia, hook me up with a sponsorship! I will say great things about your products if you give me a 3080!

[CirclMastr]

Episode 16 - April 2008 featuring bunnyofdoom and Mistywave

Somehow, Flaccid J. Pnurtis's prospects have gone down. Now if only his weight could do the same...

[Wakkerdis]

I think you should add an achievement for "Fulfill all provisions of your contract", although maybe that will depend on what your future contracts looks like.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 17 - May 2008 featuring bunnyofdoom and Mistywave

Pnurtis finally gets an opportunity to start! But it's in the AAA club, not the majors. Apropos, the joke player on the joke team turns in a joke of a performance.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 18 - June 2008 featuring bunnyofdoom, Mistywave, and MizKriss

This may be Flaccid J. Pnurtis's worst month to date.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 19 - July 2008 featuring bunnyofdoom, Mistywave, and MizKriss

Here's Pnurtis's stat line for the 2008 season, as of the end of this video:

[CirclMastr]

Episode 20 - August 2008 featuring DiscountCleric and MizKriss

It's the last episode of the 2008 season. What will become of Pnurtis? Will he anyone want to pick him up? Does anyone have that much upper body strength?

[Wakkerdis]

Clearly no catcher wants to feel the hurt of a full Pnurtin'.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 21 - Spring Training 2009 featuring DiscountCleric and MizKriss

Flaccid Pnurtis doesn't get a contract offer during the offseason, so it's back to spring training for him. Surely he can impress a team enough to get picked up, right?

[CirclMastr]

Episode 22 - April 2009 featuring DiscountCleric and MizKriss

Is this the end of Flaccid J. Pnurtis? Is this the end of this LP? You'll just have to tune in and find out!

[CirclMastr]

Episode 23 - Spring Training with Turgid Pnurtis featuring DiscountCleric, habeasdorkus, and MizKriss

Witness the (spring training) debut of Flaccid J. Pnurtis's twin brother, Turgid K. Pnurtis! Naturally Flaccid Pnurtis got all the recessive genes, while Turgid got the dominant genes.

Since Turgid Pnurtis is a closing pitcher, I think we're going to need some new achievements for him to earn. Or we can just make him become a good hitter for some reason. Could you imagine a team signing a closer and making him the starting DH? That would be wild.

[Wakkerdis]

So it was time for Flaccid to give up for the sake of the LP, but would it actually have been possible to attempt the second year of Spring Training? It seemed your 'skills' rating was still higher than some players and I'd guess the only reason you lost was because you failed to meet any goals (including one that apparently disappeared, when you were supposed to get a run in and it just didn't fail you or credit you since the runner decided to hold up).

[CirclMastr]

So it was time for Flaccid to give up for the sake of the LP, but would it actually have been possible to attempt the second year of Spring Training? It seemed your 'skills' rating was still higher than some players and I'd guess the only reason you lost was because you failed to meet any goals (including one that apparently disappeared, when you were supposed to get a run in and it just didn't fail you or credit you since the runner decided to hold up).

Episode 21 was exactly that, a second year of Spring Training in 2009. Theoretically I could have just tried spring training after spring training, but that would probably not make for good viewing.

Honestly the reason Flaccid failed was probably due to simulating so many games. My in-game performance was obviously much better than his stats would suggest (and the CPU probably wasn't stealing nearly as many bases as I was) so the simulation was not indicative of gameplay. So he didn't accomplish many contract goals, didn't get many training points, and was generally just aging out.

[CirclMastr]

Episode 24 - April 2007 featuring HulkaMatt and PolarMic

Who could have predicted that the co-owner of the Multiple Tag Team Champions Burnt Doritos would be able to give useful advice about baseball?

[CirclMastr]

Episode 25 - May 2007 featuring HulkaMatt, MizKriss, and PolarMic

I am 99.9% sure this will link to the correct episode.

It turns out that all Pnurtis needs to succeed to a pitching coach. It's a good thing HulkaMatt is here to help! And he'll never miss an episode, depriving me of much-needed guidance, right? Right?

[CirclMastr]

Episode 26 - June 2007 featuring HulkaMatt, MizKriss, and PolarMic

Turgid Pnurtis is in the big show! Or on the big show! I don't know the correct nomenclature. The point is, the opportunity for achievements has arrived, so I had better start working on more recipes.