The agents of this thread are pretty fucking too: Let's Play Lobotomy Corporation

Put your Let's Plays in here.
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X-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?

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Episode 27: Army in Black + Flesh Idol

Music: trailer
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Image Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Army in Black and Flesh Idol! Let's start with Army in Black!

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Image Army in Black, or Army in Pink as it is also known, is a ZAYIN Abnormality which-

Image Wait. It produces 30 PE Boxes… and when you work it, it definitely gets a -6% Overload penalty each time!

Image It is a ZAYIN Abnormality.

Image It deals 7 to 9 White damage per failure! AND it has a Qliphoth Counter, right up there! There aren't any ZAYIN Abnormalities with one of those! You can't possibly expect me to believe that that thing is a ZAYIN Abnormality, right?!

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Image It is a ZAYIN Abnormality, which takes the form of a soldier inside of a pink heart.

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Image In place of its Attachment work, it has a unique work type-Protect.

Image Oh come on..!

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Image When selected, this creates a unique cursor which allows us to select an Agent. Isn't that interesting, Paul?

Image Well, sure Miss Hod, but what happens when you select one?

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Image The Army in Black breaches in a flurry of pink hearts!

Image It… breaches.

Image That's right!

Image ZAYIN Abnormalities can't breach! Everyone knows that! There's no way-

Image It is a ZAYIN Abnormality.

Image Seriously?!

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Image While breaching-

Image ZAYINS don't bre-he-heach…!

Image -Army in Black gives its target 20% additional defense, cutting the damage they take. In addition, all nearby units are healed for 12 HP and SP periodically. This healing cannot be prevented in any circumstances. This effect lasts for 2 minutes, or until the Agent enters an Abnormality's containment cell.

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Image After this is done, the Abnormality explodes and returns to containment!

Image Explodes! It's-

Image It is a ZAYIN Abnormality.

Image :catstare:

Image There are some considerations to make when performing this, however. Firstly, the Qliphoth Counter of Army in Black will be reduced by one. Secondly, Agents below level 3 should not be selected as the Protection target.

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Image Such Agents will be awed by the Abnormality, their eyes growing into pink hearts. While in this state the Army in Black's protection reduces all damage they would take by 60%, but the Agent will not move and cannot be controlled.

Image It instantly overwhelms weaker agents! It's-

Image It is a ZAYIN Abnormality.

Image :rant:

Image You seem unwell, Paul. Perhaps you should take a break.

Image I don't need a- ...Alright. So, Miss Hod, what else will change its Qliphoth Counter? On the breaching Abnormality.

Image The death of 5 employees will lower its counter by 1, so please ensure a careful and methodical workday. Additionally, it is possible to lower it through Repression work, or through Bad results.

Image That's way too much to keep track of for a-

Image It is a ZAYIN Abnormality.

Image :sigh: ...So, can it be brought back up?

Image Yes! Suppressing other Abnormalities will restore its counter by 1 each. A breaching Abnormality like Scarecrow is ideal for keeping it under control. As for what happens when its counter is drained…

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Image It turns to black, and vanishes.

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Image At this time, four Army in Blacks appear in the corridors of various departments.

Image ALEPH! You see?! I told you! I told you that it was-

Image It is a ZAYIN Abnormality.

Image :tizzy:

Image ...Paul?

Image Forget it! I'll be in my bunk! I know a stinkin' ZAYIN from an ALEPH… I can't take this crap anymore!

Image What?! Hey, Paul, wait!

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Image Um… W-well anyways! Any Agent who is below Level 3 that sees one of the Army in Black is immediately sent into a Murder-type panic!

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Image Hypnotic heart-eyes, Miss Hod! That sure doesn't sound like a good thing!

Image It's not, Paul! What's worse, any attempt to subude the Agent while the Abnormality is still in the room is futile. They'll just panic again immediately until it's been suppressed.

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Image Yowsers! I'm getting beaten like I should be, but it's not bringing me back to normal!

Image That's because of the presence of an Army in Black! Once they spawn, they each flutter towards the main room of their department. Once there, they explode-this deals White damage to everyone within the room and lowers all the Qliphoth Counters of the department's Abnormalities by 1.

Image And that's never good! So what's it look like?

Image Oh, um… I-it's just their regular explosion, but in black instead of pink!

Image So you couldn't even get footage of that? Wowsers, you're kind of terrible at this, huh Miss Hod?

Image I-I am not! I was focused on filming you, and… I couldn't...

Image You're right! I'm just being an ungrateful butt who can't appreciate how kind you are. I'm sorry, Miss Hod. You're the best.

Image A-anyways! This concludes our first Abnormality today. As for our second, Flesh Idol…

Image Oh! Let me try!

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Image Flesh Idol is a hum-dinger of a WAW Abnormality! It's a Tool, so it doesn't do much, but wowsers what it does do!

Image The Flesh Idol is a channeling-type Abnormality, which means an Agent must be sent in in order to pray to it.

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Image Oh man! It's dealing Black damage to Corvis!

Image It's not just Black damage, Paul! Every five seconds, the Abnormality will deal five damage in a random type-including Pale!

Image Be careful, Manager! It can add up quickly! But what does the Idol do?

Image That depends on how long the Agent prays. If it's under twenty seconds, they immediately die.

Image Zounds! That's no good!

Image It gets better Paul! From 21 to 45 seconds, each time the Idol tics it also heals all Agents in the facility by 5 HP. And from 46 to 90 seconds, it will heal 5 HP and SP as well!

Image That sounds great, Miss Hod! What happens after 90 seconds?

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Image Instant, painful death!

Image Yowchie ouchies, THAT isn't good!

Image Oh, that's not all!

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Image Additionally, every Abnormality in the entire facility has its Qliphoth Counter set to 0, instantly.

Image But THAT would mean-

Image A total and complete breach of all Abnormalities in the entire facility at once! Very good.

Image Remember Manager-don't ever let it hit 90 seconds! That's a surefire way to ruin a perfectly good day!

Image Well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for joining us! And remember…

Image Knowledge is just pain plus observation! Have a great day!


Music: Aspire
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Image Good evening, future Managers. I… do not have words to put forward to express my sorrow over the multiple failures of protocol you've just had to bear witness to. Unfortunately, I have been informed that we are running sorely low on tape, and thus a reshoot of the episode was simply not possible.

Image Ahem.

Image Well, anyways. Let's discuss Flesh Idol. It cannot do anything if it isn't touched, so it is no particular problem. If you must work with it, you need only count to five. Five tics of the damage, and you are free to have the Agent leave without issue. Now, Angela? Graphics.

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Image Army in Black is an… odd case. It does not seem like it, given its statistics, its gear, its actions, and its complexity. It has the danger of an ALEPH Abnormality, and it loving the lives of those worthless Clerks makes it rather problematic to keep for long periods of time.

Image However, our data does not tell lies. Its high damage is cut by higher-level armor at the same rate as One Sin or WellCheers. Additionally, training with it has proven useless-our Level 5 agents simply are too powerful to gain much from it. After much deliberation between the Sephirot and Angela, there was only one conclusion to come to:

Image It is a ZAYIN Abnormality.

Image As such, it is worthless for training. Given that the ability of its healing to overcome a breakdown of our regenerators is entirely theoretical, its gear is middling at best among ALEPHs-particularly the weapon, which requires a longer setup time than most… I could not blame a Manager for simply taking it, extracting its gear, and then returning to the past to avoid dealing with it.

Image I am not a fan of it, nor am I a fan of its flagrant flaunting of the rules which we have put forth to classify our Abnormalities.

Image Now, if you'll pardon me, there's urgent business to attend to-I must tend to this situation and determine if we shall require another new Paul.

Next time's featured Abnormality…
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New Guidelines

Army in Black
Flesh Idol

New Gear

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Requirements: Level 5, Prudence 5
*Not affected by Attack Speed, 2 second startup time before any attacks come out


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Requirements: Level 5, Fortitude 5

New Story

Army in Black (Part 1)
Army in Black (Part 2)

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X-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?

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Episode 28: Snow White's Apple + Clouded Monk

Music: trailer
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Image Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Snow White's Apple and Clouded Monk! We'll begin with the Apple, if that's okay with you Miss Hod!

Image Of course it is! I'm glad to see you're feeling better now, Paul.

Image Of course I am, Miss Hod! These Abnormalities make sense! That Army fellow just made my head all hurty!

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Image Snow White's Apple is a WAW-level abnormality, taking the form of an apple setting atop a princessly outfit.

Image It's very regal, and certainly conjures the image of its namesake!

Image Despite-or maybe because of-its regal bearing, it's a very temperamental Abnormality. Its Qliphoth Counter is only 1, and its Qliphoth Counter can be reduced by either a Normal or Bad work.

Image So it likes to breach just as much as Abnormalities like King of Greed, right?

Image That's right, Paul!

Image So what happens when she breaches?

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Image Upon breaching, Snow White's Apple moves to a random corridor in the facility, and begins to fill it with vines.

Image Oh! I know what those are! They're those funny videos of cats people post on the internet, right Miss Hod?

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Image Not that kind of vine, Paul! This is the normal kind. While she's growing these vines, she deals Black damage to all employees within them.

Image That's a lot less fun than cat videos and musical memery, Miss Hod!

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Image Employees who die due to this effect are also impaled upon vines, becoming part of the thicket.

Image Wowsers! And I thought every rose had its thorn! I guess apples do too, huh?

Image They sure do, Paul. She'll remain in a hallway until either it's full of vines, or a certain period of time has passed.

Image What happens then, Miss Hod?

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Image She disappears and reappears in another hallway, just like before.

Image Wait… is that Talow again? Hasn't he died like three times already?

Image Oh, Paul! I don't think you're in any position to think too hard about how many times someone dies, right?

Image Haha, I guess you're right Miss Hod! I've only bitten the big one about sixty or seventy times now, after all!

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Image The Apple will continue its pattern like so, until she's suppressed. Despite her only targeting one hallway at a time, however, it's vital that it be handled as quickly as possible.

Image Because she can kill so many clerks?

Image It's not that, Paul-its vines will stick around even after its suppressed.

Image Oh no! Does that mean more damage?

Image Thankfully, no. However, it does still slow down our employees who are trying to walk through it.

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Image Undulating underbrush, that looks like a big movement speed penalty, Miss Hod!

Image The vines are cleared out at the end of the day, but until then they'll remain a hazard that will slow our employees down as they go about their work.

Image Is there anything else to know, Miss Hod?

Image Not at all! Snow White's Apple is, thankfully, simple. Unlike our next featured Abnormality…

Image Oh boy! I smell a segue..!

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Image Clouded Monk, or Honored Monk, is a WAW Abnormality which takes the form of a monk. While in containment, it will heal 15 SP to any Agent who completes Insight work with it.

Image Wow! Between that and the 3 on its counter, it feels much nicer than Snow White's Apple!

Image I wouldn't be so sure of that, Paul. Like Apple, its counter can go down from Neutral or Bad work results-but also...

Image Also? Also is never good!

Image Every time ten employees die in the facility, its counter reduces itself by one! Additionally, should Yin ever enter the hallway its cell is in, its counter will reduce instantly to zero.

Image Wowsers! Seems like the old man's pretty temperamental after all! So what happens when he's provoked?

Image Oh, that much is easy to explain!

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Image It becomes a demon.

Image A demon?!

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Image A demon.

Image Cripes! That is creepy!

Image While in this form, the Monk has a few attacks it can select from.

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Image Primarily, it can attack employees with a swipe of its arms.

Image Hah! That only half killed me! You'll have to do better than that, you silly Abnormality!

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Image Don't you worry about that, Paul. It can also pause in order to charge energy for a moment. When this happens, it's important to be cautious.

Image Oh man, this is some sort of super attack, isn't it?

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Image Very perceptive! The Monk opens its mouth wide, and charges forward to the end of the hallway or room it's in.

Image And what happens if it hits someone?

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Image Yowie wowie! I'm a meal!

Image That's right! It eats the first thing it runs into. This heals it, as well as deals massive damage to the target. When it begins charging, it's vitally important for the Manager to move everyone in front of it either out of the room or behind the Abnormality.

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Image Luckily, it isn't a particularly difficult target for a capable Manager like the one here at Lobotomy Corporation's main branch! As long as he keeps all these tips in mind, no Clouded Monk will be able to stop the sunshine of progress!

Image You're right, Miss Hod! Hooray for the Manager! Hooray for progress!

Image Well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for joining us! And remember…

Image Knowledge is just pain plus observation! Have a great day!


Music: Aspire
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Image Good evening, future Managers. Should you be watching this in sequence, I am sure you have a number of questions. After all, a return to the standard formula after what seems to be a breach in the status quo is the sort of thing which would attract attention. What happened? Is Paul the same? It's a good question. Angela, the graphics.

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Image The Apple is a very serviceable Justice trainer, with an easy-to-underestimate E.G.O weapon. Don't sleep on it-particularly with the matching E.G.O Gift it becomes a very powerful weapon. I would recommend taking great precautions not to allow her to breach. I have suffered issues before with my system slowing down immensely as a result of her vines-while this did clear out when I ended the day, it made it seem as though the Agents were running and working through molasses even at 2x speed.

Image Overall, I would consider her a solid pick-if temperamental and in need of cautious care.

Image The Monk, on the other hand… the only statistic it can reliably train on without causing a high risk of QC loss is Insight-and since it recovers an Agent's SP after Insight work it is not particularly ideal for that either. So it cannot train.

Image Its gear is terrible at attacking enemies, and though its suit is acceptable defensively, I would not consider it particularly amazing. So it is not particularly worthwhile for gear.

Image Finally, it is a breach-prone Abnormality which aims to leave its cell when the facility is already in the middle of crisis and try and slash an Agent to death or swallow them whole. Thus, it is also not simple.

Image It receives a failing grade in all three factors which separate a desirable Abnormality from an undesirable. As such, I cannot ever recommend it. This Monk has become a being which not even it can comprehend, and in doing so it has become something it never wished to be.

Image ...There are times which I wonder if I myself am still what I wished to be. The concept of self is an interesting topic-memories and experiences formulate the base idea of a person. Indeed, a great number of mediums explore the idea of a person without their memories. Should they lose themselves, would they be something else? Are people's natures the same when their experiences are in absentia?

Image If two people possess the same face, same voice, same memories and same name… could they be said to be different people in the first place?

Image ...It's something I've thought much about, lately. But for now, this old man shall cease his ramblings.

Next time's featured Abnormality…
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New Guidelines

Snow White's Apple
Clouded Monk

New Gear

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Requirements: Temperance 3

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Requirements: Prudence 3

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Requirements: Level 3, Temperance 3
*Not affected by Attack Speed


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Requirements: Prudence 2, Temperance 2

New Story

Snow White's Apple
Clouded Monk (Part 1)
Clouded Monk (Part 2)
Clouded Monk (Part 3)
Clouded Monk (Part 4)

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Also as a heads-up, I'm getting my second vaccine shot today and might get knocked on my ass. If there's a delay, assume that would be why. :v:

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X-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?

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Episode 29: Express Train to Hell

Music: trailer
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Image Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Express Train to Hell!

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Image Express Train to Hell is a WAW-level Tool Abnormality, which takes the form of a ticket office with four lights on top of it.

Image Hey! One of them's already lit up!

Image That's because our introduction took more than thirty seconds. How about you get in there and see what happens when an Agent works with it?

Image Wha- no banter?

Image No time for that! Go!

Image Oh-uh, yes, Miss Hod!

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Image Hey! I got healed up a little bit!

Image That's because of the Express Train's effects. When accessed with one light, the Agent's SP and HP are healed by 40.

Image Wow! That's practically all of me! What happens at the other lights?

Image Well, at two lights, the Agent is healed for 80 HP and SP instead.

Image Wowsers! That's one and a half of me!

Image At three and four lights, the train heals for only 50 HP and SP, but does so to either the entire department or the entire facility, respectively. As a result, it's theoretically possible for the Manager to fine-tune visits to get the results that he would like, so long as he keeps in mind that-

CHOO CHOOOOOOOOOO

Image What's that noise?

Image Oh dear! H-has it been two and a half minutes already?

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Image Miss Hod! There's a portal on one end of the facility!

Image That means the Train's other ability has gone off. An entry and an exit portal appear, and between them...

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Image And the train runs between them! Wowsers!

Image This does clear off all of the lights of the Express Train's booth, meaning we also miss our chance to heal.

Image Well, at least it was a near miss! Say, Miss Hod! What was that about two and a half minutes?

Image Oh, yes! I haven't explained about the lights.

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Image Every thirty seconds, one light turns on. This means the full department healing is available every two minutes at best.

Image So that's two minutes… Meaning if another light would spawn while the Express Train's ticket booth is full, that's what causes the Train! Right, Miss Hod?

Image That's right, Paul! As a result, it's very important that the Manager keep it at the forefront of their mind. This is especially vital if the Manager is running things at double speed with their TT2 controls, since this lowers it from two and a half minutes to-

CHOO CHOOOOOOOOOO

Image One minute and fifteen seconds.

Image Everybody hit the deck!!

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Image It's aimed right at Training and Information this time!

Image Well curdle my caboose! That can't be good!

Image To the contrary! We're here to learn, and what better way is there than to look at its effects up close!

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Image Liquidating locomotives! They got flattened!

Image When it runs by, the Train will deal 100 Black damage to anything in its path, be it a breaching Abnormality or one of our employees.

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Image This damage is enough to be fatal to any clerks or new Agents, and even our crack team of veterans can be brought to the brink of death or insanity from a single hit, particularly if they're in Black-vulnerable or low level E.G.O gear.

Image Yowsers! Manager, make absolutely sure that you don't forget to work with it!

CHOO CHOOOOOOOOOO

Image Ahh!! W-well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for joining us! And remember-

Image Knowledgeisjustpainplusobservation! Take coveeeeeeer!!!


Music: Aspire
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Image ...I aspire to a certain level of eloquence in this series. It is important that we, as a company, be taken seriously by the business world-to that end, it is equally important that we not break certain taboos. We are men, not children, and thus we should be able to handle things in a manner befitting of men, rather than default to the playground anachronisms of babes.

Image The choice of words is the privilege of only the high-minded and well-educated. Of those who know the words which they have on hand and can use as tools to resolve the complex situation of conveying the feelings and observations which they have made. Today, these observations are complex.

Image This Abnormality is a worthless healer on a level all its own, either only healing an Agent who could simply wait in the main room for a few moments or else curing the entire facility at most once every two minutes in a manner which cannot be controlled. It isn't even a full heal.

Image Further it demands constant attention, gnawing at the back of your mind-forever. Two minutes at most, two-thirty and it goes off. Halve it if you intend to do things quickly. As a Manager we choose between our sanity slipping away to slow workdays or our sanity slipping away to constant work requests on the train.

Image Such an Abnormality is an Abnormality among Abnormalities. It is in a league wholly outside what I have previously had to convey, and completely beyond the pale when compared to anything else I have seen in my many days here. No other Abnormality requires such a commitment to its continued upkeep, draining so much attention for so negligible a payout. It doesn't even have gear.

Image Given that, I have thought long and hard about the best way to express my observations and feelings towards this Abnormality among Abnormalities, and I feel I have come to a conclusion. Bluntness is a form of eloquence, if used with precision and meaning. Thus:




Image Fuck Express Train to Hell. That is all.

Image Manager, shall we move on to the next day?

Image Absolutely not.

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Image We're going back before that thing can cause us any more troubles.

Image Of course, Manager.

Next time's featured Abnormality…
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New Guidelines/Story

Express Train to Hell

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I'm agreeing with Abel on this one, fuck Express Train To Hell. I'm bad enough with trying to micromanage as is, I don't need to be a babysitter for a train who'll go on a tantrum every minute/two and a half minutes that I don't check up on it :cripes:

// also, i'm back! finally got back into my account after a lot of frustration with captcha, and caught myself up on the thread! :toot:

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So Click-to-Die is joined by Click-to-Not-Die. I kind of want to see a blind run of this game with these random grenades like this. (I sure as hell don't want to play a blind run, though.)

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There's even more than one Click to Die, arguably...

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Image Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about… wait. Something seems off.

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Image ...oh no.

Image Miss Hod?

Image No time! Manager, we have a problem!

Image A problem? ...Ah. I see. Hokma assured me that this had been fixed.

Image What's going on?

Image :sigh: Try not to panic-but you're surrounded by the bodies of an Abnormality right now.

Image A what?!

Image The information pollution Abnormality, Joshua. From time to time it infects our systems, creating copies of itself when I attempt to hire uncustomized Agents. I had merely wanted some cheap extras…

Image This is really bad, isn't it?! Those things can propagate endlessly… unless we can wipe them all out at once, the facility's going to be full of them!

Image THAT can't be good! W-w-what do we do, Miss Hod?

Image U-um… just give me a second-!

Image ...The Abnormality we were doing today, which one was it?

Image We were planning to do the Abnormalities in lower Central Command today, sir, that pair who-

Image We'll do them tomorrow. Change out for Child of the Galaxy. You both can ad-lib, right?

Image ...Ah! I see! Yes, sir!

Image I don't really know what's going on… but okay! Game face, on! Good luck out there, stunt double!

X-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?

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Episode 30: Child of the Galaxy

Music: trailer
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Image Child of the Galaxy is a HE-level Abnormality, which takes the form of a sad boy with starlight hair and skin.

Image I tried using a cream to get my hair to look that nice once! It didn't work out.

Image Child of the Galaxy has a number of very useful abilities which we'll go over now. First, how about you work with him Paul?

Image I can do that, Miss Hod!

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Image Wow! He seems happy that I'm just here!

Image All work types regardless of level have the same success rate with the Child. Its ability activates upon the completion of any work with him.

Image Ability? Oh no, am I going to explode?

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Image Not at all! Child of the Galaxy simply has a present for you.

Image That doesn't preclude exploding, Miss Hod! I remember what happened with Laetitia.

Image That was entirely your fault, Paul.

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Image The present from Child of the Galaxy will show up on the Manager's monitor over the Agent's head. As long as they have it, it will also restore their HP and SP over time.

Image Wowsers! That's really nice! By how much?

Image That depends! The healing increases based on the Qliphoth Counter of Child of the Galaxy. This counter can be raised by having Agents with the gift work with him, at the rate of one per work. However, it does not go up when worked by Agents without a pebble.

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Image As a result, if we were to have this entire group of completely normal Agents work with Child of the Galaxy…

Image Its Qliphoth Counter should stay at 1, right?

Image An excellent guess, Paul! Let's see.

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Image Is this really going to work?

Image It has to. We don't have any other ideas.

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Image Aaand there we go! All of these Agents have now worked with Child of the Galaxy. Care to guess what its Qliphoth Counter is at?

Image I still think it's one, because none of them had the gift when going in!

Image Let's see!

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Image I was right, Miss Hod! It stayed at one!

Image There you have it! Manager, please keep in mind that the counter will never increase unless an Agent with the gift works with Child of the Galaxy.

Image So what do I win?

Image More research! What do you think will happen when an Agent with the gift works with another Abnormality?

Image I have no idea, but I sure am chompin' at the bit to find out!

Image Then let's have you work with Scorched Girl to see what happens!

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Image As you could clearly see, when starting a work with another Abnormality, the gift deals Red and White damage to the Agent-both entirely based on the Child's current Qliphoth Counter level. It then decreases the level by 1.

Image Yowie wowie, that's not what I noticed! I keeled over dead!

Image Ah, that's because the Child of the Galaxy's counter dropped to zero.

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Image When this happens, the Child of the Galaxy begins to cry. Moreover, every Agent with the Child's gift will immediately be killed, no matter where they are.

Image Wait, does that mean..?

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Image Yes. Every single Joshua dies at the same time.

Image We did it! We saved the day!! From… nothing in particular. Those poor, perfectly normal employees!

Image Yes. They were definitely not any sort of existential threat to the facility!

Image So, is that poor Abnormality going to cry forever?

Image Only until someone else works with him. This will automatically restore his counter to 1. As one final note, the death of any employee who holds a gift reduces the counter by 4-and with a maximum possible of 5, this means that one Agent dying usually means they all do.

Image It's a multi-hit combo chain reaction! Just like in my very trendy video puzzle games!

Image Well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for joining us! And remember…

Image Knowledge is just pain plus observation! Have a great day!


Music: Aspire
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Image Angela, get me those diagnostics immediately.

Image Good evening, future Managers. You've caught me in the middle of a situation, so I'll make this quick. Angela, the graphics.

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Image Child of the Galaxy is equally good across the board, and as such works for any form of training that a facility could need. However, its gift and the healing it grants means that it effectively trends towards being a Justice trainer as its Qliphoth Counter grows higher. This is because the healing it grants mid-work will offset the damage an Agent takes, lowering the pressure on our Agents and letting them relax.

Image Justice, of course, doesn't care about such things. As for its gear, it's nothing particularly amazing-the E.G.O gift being the standout for its constant HP regeneration. I weighed the idea of having one on every Agent in the facility, but decided against it due to the time involved in getting each of them to resonate with the Abnormality.

Image Overall, I would call it a solid pick for any facility. As far as HE Abnormalities go, it is one of the best there is. Now, if you'll pardon, there's work that must be done.


Image Angela? Report.

Image I have performed several system updates. As of my most recent check, I have confirmed the completion of suppression of information pollution Abnormality 'Joshua.'

Image This time, surely… I can only hope that these hiccups stop happening at some point in the future. I would rather my successors not have to deal with such a beast on top of everything else.

Image You continue to mention your successors, and have opted to create this series in lieu of pursuing the key to freedom. Do you have so little faith in yourself?

Image Hah! Don't pretend to care, Angela. Simply do your duty, as a machine.

Image ...Very well, Manager.

Next time's featured Abnormality…
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New Guidelines

Child of the Galaxy

New Gear

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Requirements: Level 2, Prudence 2

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Requirements: None

New Story

Child of the Galaxy (Part 1)
Child of the Galaxy (Part 2)

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This episode is also brought to you by my wife, who was kind enough to drag herself out of bed to drive my backup laptop over to my workplace when I discovered that my usual one wasn't charging anymore.

Thanks for the assist, dear! :buddy:

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“Don’t look away?” …is this Schadenfreude inside-out, like a Weeping Angel?

I don't get whatever the reference or joke behind Joshua is...

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I get the impression the army of Joshuas was cause by a bug in the game. :lobcorp:

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AweStriker wrote:
Mon Jun 14, 2021 5:24 pm
I get the impression the army of Joshuas was cause by a bug in the game. :lobcorp:
This is correct. It plagued the game through all of beta, and finally got ironed out just in time for the actual release-it was so persistent that the devs themselves dubbed Joshua an Abnormality in the patch notes linked in the post.

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Ahhhh, the next three will be fun. Two fairy tales and the opposite of that damn mechanical keyhole eye that you have to play keep-away with; personally, I find -57 and -58 some of my favorite abnos due to how they're foils of each other, both lore-wise and gameplay-wise. It's fun. ^^
Also the Joshua bug is really funny

User avatar
X-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?

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Episode 31: Red Wolf Heaven

Music: trailer
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Image Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today with a special two-in-one Abnormality episode!

Image We've been working very hard on it just for you! So without further ado, let's begin covering a famous pair of Abnormalities with…

Image Dun da-da duuuuun!

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Image Big and Will be Bad Wolf!

Image Big and Will be Bad Wolf, or Big and Might be Bad Wolf, is a WAW-level Abnormality which takes the form of a cartoonish wolf.

Image It seems really friendly! But even I remember the old stories with wolves in them! That's a facade, isn't it?

Image Good instincts, Paul! Good thing we have a volunteer to work with it today.

Image Gee golly! I really appreciate having a day off.

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Image Watson here will be aiming for a Bad result on any non-Instinct type work. Doing so will trigger the Wolf's special ability, in addition to lowering its counter by 1.

Image Gulp. Ability?

Image Exactly!

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Image For its ability, the Wolf swallows the Agent whole!

Image Lunching lupines, Miss Hod! It's just like in my speculative children's fiction books!

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Image While it's swallowed an Agent, the state of Big and Will be Bad Wolf changes.

Image Oh no! It's got a tummyache!

Image This tummyache will persist until an Agent gets a Good result with Instinct work. When this is done…

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Image The Agent will be freed.

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Image He sure looks like he's had a bad time, Miss Hod!

Image He probably did, Paul! Next, we'll show something significantly more interesting. There's a unique E.G.O gift associated with the Wolf.

Image Unique gift? Sounds fancy! How's it work?

Image Well, the first step is to get eaten by the Wolf again. This time, its Qliphoth Counter will lower all the way to zero.

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Image Woah! What was that?!

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Image That's Big and Will be Bad Wolf's breaching form. It takes this form when its counter is reduced to 0, and begins to roam the facility. As it does, it heads to the location of its blue moon symbol.

Image And the Agent's in their belly?

Image That's correct! They're eaten just before the breach.

Image Yowsers! So how do we get them out?!

Image We call in some assistance.

Image Oh, like the Rabbit Team, Miss Hod?

Image ...Not quite.

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Image Little Red Riding Hooded Mercenary is a WAW-level Abnormality which takes the form of a woman in a red hood. Each time an Abnormality escapes (aside Punishing Bird), her Qliphoth Counter decreases by 1.

Image So she wants to join in on the fun!

Image She does live for battle! In place of Attachment work, she has a special work type.

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Image The Request work type, when selected, brings up an interface that lets the Manager select an Abnormality to target.

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Image It looks like she charges for the help, though!

Image Well, she is a mercenary! She charges 40 energy per risk level of the Abnormality we ask her to face-from 80 for a TETH to 200 for an ALEPH.

Image But Miss Hod… we don't have 160 energy!

Image That's alright. All we have to do is wait.

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Image Wait?! Why are we waiting, Miss Hod?

Image The Wolf and Red really don't like each other. It's so powerful that if any Agent works with one, then works with the other, the second one will smell the first on them and their Qliphoth Counter will decrease by 1. In fact, just being injured by Red Riding Hooded Mercenary and entering the same hallway as the Wolf will reduce its counter by 1-and if she enters its hallway, then it will breach automatically.

Image So we're going to be able to get her to work for free?!

Image That's right! Like many other wolves, this one has a tendency to howl. And when it does, if it's where Little Red Riding Hooded Mercenary can hear, she'll instantly breach and hunt down her old enemy.

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Image There's the howl!

Image It deals White damage to all employees in the department, and now that Red's heard it she should be on the way!

Image Um… Miss Hod? We have a problem.

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Image She's not standing up?

Image That's uh, that's right Miss Hod. She's just staring at a pillar of fire-and we can't interact with her containment cell anymore-she won't accept any works at all!

Image What? That's not supposed to happen! Th-this isn't covered in our training materials!

Image I'm calling an audible-break her out through any means necessary. That should resolve the error.

Image Y-yes sir!

Image Umm, Miss Hod?

Image You see, Paul, this is a very rare error! It basically puts Red in a state of being both breached and not breached at the same time-and the key to fixing it is going to be our next Abnormality!

Image Another new one? But we were only doing the two-

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Image The Burrowing Heaven is a WAW-level Abnormality, taking the shape of an eyeball and flesh tree.

Image Oh! Eye see the plan here! Is Watson volunteering to work this one, too?

Image Well, he's still in the Wolf's belly, so…

Image Aww, phooey. I'll get right to it!

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Image When working with The Burrowing Heaven, the only rule that the Manager needs to keep in mind is to keep it somewhere on the screen.

Image So it's like an inverse-Schadenfreude, but way more traumatizing! But what happens when it escapes?

Image Upon escaping, it will instantly warp to somewhere offscreen and attack for high Black damage.

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Image Wowsers! Those clerks are trees now!

Image Every three seconds it's offscreen, it'll warp to another empty room which has employees in it-though it prefers Agents, and deal the same damage to them.

Image Then how do we stop it, Miss Hod?!

Image Luckily, that's the easy part.

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Image The Manager just has to look at it, and it won't be able to do anything. Our Agents can easily suppress it after that.

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Image Wowsers! The staff of Lobotomy Corporation sure is the elite few, way stronger and better than the outside! I sure am proud to be a member!

Image Ah, yes. Speaking of which…

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Image Yowie wowie! I'm a tree!

Image The Agent who is working with The Burrowing Heaven when it breaches is instantly killed. Please make sure to keep it in your sight, Manager!

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Image Well, this breach reduced her counter to just 1. We need one more before she'll get out, though!

Image Oh, that's no trouble at all! We'll just have Mr.Black work with Meat Lantern, and…

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Image There we go! When Red stands up like this, it means she's about to run out of the cell. When this happens, she'll pick a target to focus on.

Image How do we know who she's focused on, though?

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Image A targeting mark appears on her target. While berserk this target will always be the Wolf, and when berserked a fiery aura will form around her.

Image Oh! That was the pillar! Her berserk must have been… berzoken.

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Image Red will pursue her marked foe relentlessly. While she's being contracted normally, her attacks are perfectly safe to our Agents. However, when she is berzerked like this, she loses some of her precision.

Image That means that she'll hurt any Agents in the same room as the Wolf when she attacks-so look out for that shotgun! When she breaches normally, she'll also harm Agents in the same way-so look out!

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Image In addition to her shotgun, Red can also use her knife in melee, or throw it at an enemy. All attacks with this knife will make her next shotgun attack against the target deal additional damage-be very careful when fighting her, as she's an experienced mercenary.

Image Meanwhile, the Wolf only has its howl and its claws! Wowsers, it sure seems outmatched!

Image Well, there are a couple other tricks up its sleeve.

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Image The first is that its howl gains a second effect when it's below half health-indicated by the blue moon icon turning red. While in this state, the Wolf's howl also lowers the Qliphoth Counter of all Abnormalities in the department it's in by 1.

Image But that's Safety! That means…!

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Image Flummoxing fetuses! We've got a full scale mad baby situation!

Image It's important to subdue the Wolf quickly to avoid this kind of situation. Unfortunately, it has a second ability which complicates this as well.

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Image Holy smokes! It just turned into smoke, Miss Hod!

Image Whenever the Wolf loses 15% of its HP, it will turn to smoke and attempt to escape to another department's main room-noted by the blue or red wolf moon. Once it gets to the main room it will rest for a moment before resuming its attack. During this period, it's invulnerable to all attacks.

Image How unfair! What are we supposed to do then?

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Image It's as good a time as any to make sure that any threats it's let out are dealt with. Remember: Proactivity is productivity!

Image How insightful, Miss Hod! Now, how does all of this lead to an E.G.O gift?

Image Well, that's because there are two ways to save someone from the Wolf's stomach. The first is by Instinct work. And the second…

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Image Is to have Red defeat it! Please note that if Red meets Wolf and doesn't defeat it, she will become very angry over having her kill stolen and turn on our Agents instead.

Image Wow! She's like one of those guys who cares way too much about k/d ratio in my favorite shooty fun times game!

Image That's not wrong at all, Paul! Anyways, having an Agent be freed like this will grant it a second, unique E.G.O Gift. Let's have a look!

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Image Um… where is it, Miss Hod?

Image Sheep's Clothing is a unique E.G.O Gift, in that it doesn't show up properly on Agents!

Image What.

Image It certainly exists, but for some reason its wavelength doesn't allow it to be picked up within the known visible spectrum. We do have an artist's interpretation of it, however.

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Image Wowsers! That's adorable! But what happens to Red now that she's done fighting Wolf?

Image When breaching normally, or having her Wolf kill stolen, Red will rampage until she's put down. However, if her suppression is successful she will run back to her containment cell on her own and take a break. Please remember that the Wolf will breach if Red enters its hallway, so if her return trip will take her through its hallway it can lead to a never ending cycle of battle.

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Image Any Agents who she runs past will still try to attack her, so it is possible to suppress Red even while she's trying to return to her cell.

Image If she'd run by the Wolf, make sure you do just that! We don't want any more breaches!

Image Well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for joining us! And remember…

Image Knowledge is just pain plus observation! Have a great day!


Music: Aspire
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Image Good evening, future Managers. It seems we've unexpectedly had to do slightly more work today than planned. I do always say the key to proper management is reacting quickly to emergency situations. Angela, I trust you've prepared the graphics?

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Image I opted to split things up slightly, given how many Abnormalities we're speaking of today. Wolf is… interesting. Should it breach it's all but assured to cause problems, but its suit is powerful and its E.G.O Gift is the best one in its slot-by default, as it's the only one.

Image Given that, I would say it is worth taking should you be willing to deal with the risk-but know that if it does get out, your life will become much more difficult. It's amazing for training an Agent's Fortitude, however-even on a Normal or Bad result, it won't ever eat an Agent performing Instinct work. Do not bother going for the unique E.G.O Gift. It's not worth it in the slightest. Next.

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Image Red Riding Hooded Mercenary is best as a troubleshooter. For a reasonably priced amount of our energy gathered so far, she can distract attacks and attention away from our Agents-and she can defeat weaker Abnormalities by herself. However, her tendency to breach on her own can make her troublesome to keep while holding multiple of those Abnormalities who breach on Clerk death. Her suit is incredibly good, however, and her Gift is also in a rare slot-rivaled only by Forsaken Murderer, which gives a far weaker mask.

Image She is a passable Fortitude trainer, also responds well to Insight despite her Red damage, and if taken should be kept as far away from the Wolf as possible. No matter what, do not put them in the same corridor should you value your sanity.

Image Trust me on this.

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Image Lastly there's our unexpected guest, The Burrowing Heaven. It trains three stats very well-and one of them is Justice. So long as it's in a central location-Central is, fittingly, very good for this-and we're keeping the camera zoomed as far out as possible it will never give us trouble. Should it be forced to breach by a Meltdown or similar effect, it also won't cause problems so long as it's on the screen.

Image The suit is splendid against Black damage, and while its Red weakness is an issue, I find it to work well for dealing with hordes of Sweepers. Its weapon is also fairly damaging, so it's not to be underestimated.

Image Come to think of it, I believe I've seen Gebura use something like it to suppress an Abnormality once. Truly, a fearsome Sephirah. It's enough to almost forget that she's simply a machine. Well, regardless… for now, this old man shall cease his ramblings.

Image Manager, Hod is… you should see this, sir.

Image Ah… yes, I suppose I did suppress four Abnormalities today, didn't I?


Image Is it true, Tiffany…? All you wanted out of me was some Enkephalin?

:ghost: "But you lied."

Image What lies? I've never lied to you...

Next time's featured Abnormality…
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New Guidelines

Big and Might be Bad Wolf
Little Red Riding Hooded Mercenary
The Burrowing Heaven

New Gear

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Requirements: Level 3, Fortitude 3, Temperance 3
*Not affected by Attack Speed


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Requirements: Level 4, Fortitude 4

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Requirements: Level 3, Fortitude 3, Justice 3
*Not affected by Attack Speed


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Requirements: Level 4, Fortitude 3, Justice 3

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Requirements: Level 3

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Requirements: Fortitude 3

New Story

Big and Might be Bad Wolf
Little Red Riding Hooded Mercenary
The Burrowing Heaven

Bonus

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Tylana beats the crap out of Meat Lantern in melee. :allears:

User avatar
X-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?

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Episode 32: Void Dream

Music: trailer
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Image Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Void Dream!

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Image Void Dream is a TETH-level Abnormality which takes the shape of a sleeping sheep.

Image All it's missing is a fence to jump over!

Image While it is only a TETH Abnormality, like any Abnormality it can be dangerous if handled improperly. The most important thing to remember is to never send an Agent with a Temperance of 1 to work with it.

Image By gum, my Temperance is 1! Does that mean it's exhibition time?

Image It sure does, Paul! Void Dream's effect kicks in at the end of a work from any Temperance 1 Agent.

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Image Yowie wo… wait. I'm sleeping. Does that qualify for one?

Image Um… w-well, you are sleeping forever, and can't ever be woken up?

Image Good enough. Yowie wowie! To die, perchance to sleep!

Image Outside of this, its only other meaningful ability is its breach. Since its Qliphoth Counter only goes down on Bad work results, this is thankfully rare. However-

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Image We here at Lobotomy Corporation pride ourselves on thoroughness and attention to detail! So let's screw things up, for science!

Image With a lowest base success rate of 20%, and an observation bonus of 10% on top of that, it can be difficult to have a maxed out Agent trigger a breach from it at all.

Image Luckily we have Nea! Her level 3 Temperance is the perfect blend of incompetent and better than mine!

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Image When Void Dream does breach, it slowly flies through the facility. On its own, it is incapable of dealing any sort of damage.

Image But it definitely does something, right? What is it?

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Image Periodically, Void Dream will fire out a number of stars from itself. These stars will cause any Agents they impact against to fall asleep.

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Image Oh no! That looks just like my nap! Is it an instant-death dealing horrible monster in disguise after all?!

Image Not quite, Paul. Whenever an employee is put to sleep by one of these stars, it's a simple matter for the Manager to wake them back up by clicking on them several times.

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Image With a big yawn, the employee wakes up and gets back to work.

Image Aww man, why can't he just do that to me sleeping in the cell?

Image The sleeping suggestion is much stronger in person, so there's no known way to wake an Agent who has fallen prey to it.

Image Nefarious naptimes! How sad! So, how do we handle Void Dream while it's breaching?

Image We don't! Void Dream will return to containment on its own after a while, making it annoying but not dangerous. If it's attacked, however, there's a reaction.

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Image Wowsers! It transformed!

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Image That's right, Paul. In this form, Void Dream is capable of actually harming our valuable work staff.

Image Oh no! What does it do?

Image What all roosters do, Paul.

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Image Void Dream will crow, dealing White damage to all employees in the room. Additionally, any sleeping employees within that room will wake up.

Image That's good!

Image The employees will immediately panic from being woken up in this manner.

Image That's bad!

Image Fortunately, as a TETH Abnormality it is not nearly as resilient as other more dangerous Abnormalities.

Image That's good!

Image However, since its panic can happen instantly to any Agent of any level it is important to ensure no high powered agents are sleeping near it, as this would most likely lead to a situation of rapidly escalating danger.

Image That's bad!

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Image This concludes our basic overview of Void Dream's handling. Please keep this information in mind for smooth handling of this mostly risk free Abnormality.

Image And remember: if you handle it wrongly, it can quickly change from a peaceful sheep into a giant c-

Image Well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for joining us! And remember…

Image Knowledge is just pain plus observation! Have a great day!


Music: Aspire
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Image Good evening, future Managers. While I sincerely hope it does not show on my face, I'm filled with apprehension. Today, as well, I finished another mission for that Hod. Her fourth mission, as it were. And, like a predetermined path had been cleared, she'd announced a training session for our employees about the Abnormality known as Judgment Bird.

Image Announcing a training session for an Abnormality which we do not even have in our current facility, and so soon after a mission has been completed? I sense an ill omen upon the winds… or perhaps it's simply pattern recognition. Angela.

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Image All things considered, Void Dream is a very easy-to-handle Abnormality. Its Bad works are difficult to come by, and it doesn't have any sort of unusual breaching condition. Moreover, as a Black damage Abnormality with good Insight, Instinct, and Attachment rates it's quite capable of training any of the three.

Image Honestly, the only real strike against it is that it's a TETH. As such, neither its gear nor its training ability will ever be anything but lacking… were this exact Abnormality a HE or WAW it would be a must-pick. As it stands, it's merely a very safe option for any Manager who would prefer to avoid a challenging day.

Image Manager, I have received a report-there's been an incident.

Image And speaking of challenging days… Very well. What's happened?

Image Hod appears to have become unstable. I shall bring up the relevant security footage.

Image Yes, yes-you do as a machine ought to. My apologies to all of you, but for now this old man must cease his ramblings. It seems we're needed on stage.

Next time's featured Abnormality…
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New Guidelines

Void Dream

New Gear

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Requirements: None
*Not affected by Attack Speed


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Requirements: None

New Story

Void Dream (Part 1)
Void Dream (Part 2)
Void Dream (Part 3)

User avatar
X-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?

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Episode 33: Alriune + The Snow Queen

Music: trailer..?
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Image Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to… uh…

Image Oh, Paul. You're usually more professional than this. We're talking about Alriune today, right?

Image Y-yeah. That's what we're doing, Miss Hod… It's just that you look a little, um. Exploded.

Image Oh, that? No, no, there's nothing to worry about, Paul. We're just making a training video today-like we always do. I'm always so helpful, doing this and that for everyone!

Image Oh, um… Alright... then… Let's give it a shot, I guess!

Image There's no need for guessing! Let's all do our best today! Lights, camera, action!!

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Image Alriune is a WAW-level Abnormality which takes the form of a porcelain doll with flowers growing from it.

Image Oh, I had one of those growing up! Maybe this won't be so bad.

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Image Any work with Alriune must be done with an eye on getting a Normal work result. On either a Good or a Bad, the Alriune will be released-causing significant dangers for whichever one of our ungrateful Agents was too good to listen to the very careful and detailed training plan I prepared for all of you. On top of that-

Image Uh, Miss Hod? I think the video feed's being covered by your… angst?

Image Oh! I'm sorry, I must have gotten a little off topic. Now, where was I~?

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Image On a Good or Bad result, Alriune will breach. While I know that none of you pay attention to the things I say, please try to avoid situations like this one, okay?

Image I pay attention to what you say, Miss H-

Image Just like you paid attention when I said it was a ZAYIN Abnormality. I haven't forgotten, Paul.

Image That was-

Image Just read your lines like a good boy! I've had to work so hard to write them since Malkuth broke all those days ago!

Image I thought she was always broken...

Image Well? Your line?

Image Eheh… We'll all work hard to make sure nothing bad happens! But since it's too late now, let's see what Alriune does when it breaches!

Image That's a great idea, Paul!

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Image Upon breaching, Alriune will appear in a random hallway, and spend time there. As it does, three petals will grow over its back, like a tail.

Image What happens when they all grow in?

Image That depends entirely on the state of the corridor. If there are no employees within it, nothing.

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Image Alriune simply teleports harmlessly somewhere else, and repeats the process.

Image Flashstepping flowers! That doesn't seem so bad.

Image Oh, Paul. Paul, Paul, Paul. I knew you were a bit slow, but you're overlooking an obvious thing here.

Image Good thing we have the great and mighty Miss Hod to point it out, right? Everything would definitely be better if we were to just listen to you!

Image Exactly. If an employee is in the same corridor during the teleport, there's a reaction.

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Image As you can see, Agents who decided they knew better than to listen in training and want to stay in there to see 'how bad the cutie could possibly be' wind up taking significant White damage.

Image Wowsers! That's a lot of hurt! But since it's White damage, that means our Agents will only be-

Image Panicked? Why, you'd think so.

Image I-I was just saying that!

Image You took too long.

Image Well, maybe if you weren't releasing that sedative, I could-

Image Oh dear! This training video might need one more ungrateful, self-obsessed diva of an extra to show off Alriune's ability! Or maybe you'd prefer a trip to We Can Change Anything, since there's something you're finding wrong with my direction? I'm sure it can fix anything!

Image No problems here, ma'am!

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Image As I was saying, any employee who would panic from this attack is instead killed, as flowers sprout from their bodies. A fitting end for those people who couldn't be bothered to listen through a simple training exercise, or participate in standard therapy just to deal with their problems-and the only ones who did sit through it only did so for the drugs, the manipulative little-

Image Um… are you okay, Miss Hod? You don't seem so good.

Image I'm fine! I'm fine… Tiffany… Tiffany, you should have just let me help you! I'm not self-satisfied! I'm not smug! I'm just trying to help everyone! I'm a good person! A good person!!

Image Y-yes'm! You're a good person! Um, and that covers Alriune, right?

Image ...Ah! Oh, yes. Alriune will continue teleporting until suppressed. Simply keep its rules in mind and there's nothing else to worry about. While frustrating to deal with, it's a simple Abnormality to understand.

Image I see, I see! Very insightful as always, Miss Hod! And wowsers, look at the time! Well, that's all we have for you today. Thanks for joining us! And remember, knowledge is just-

Image Oh, no. We have much more pain to observe.

Image I'm sorry?

Image There's so much more to do! We're nowhere near through with our filming day!

Image I think this is enough…

Image You think wrong. The purpose of training is to make sure that you don't think the wrong things. So we need more training, until you can't think of anything wrong! And I know just the thing!

Image Umm… okay?!

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Image The Snow Queen is a HE-level Abnormality which takes the form of a witch made of ice.

Image Sounds c-cool, Miss Hod.

Image While she lacks a Qliphoth Counter, she does have a special ability which can activate on a Bad or Normal work result. Paul.

Image Ah! Y-yes, I'll demonstrate. But the sedative…

Image Since she deals White damage, I'll be more than happy to have your fellow Agents beat the sanity back into you, even if you screw it up a hundred times!

Image Yes… Miss Hod.

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Image Ouchies! I got poked through by something!

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Image That's a shard from The Snow Queen, meaning that you've received her first kiss.

Image Like that thing Queen of Hatred does?

Image Not at all like that. You'd know that if you ever read the training manuals I spent such painstaking hours making for you, of course-but it's fine! I'm a good person so I'll let you learn hands on. The first kiss is merely cosmetic. A second failure, however, will give a second kiss!

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Image Yowie wowie! I'm a popsicle, Miss Hod!

Image Yes! The second kiss traps the Agent inside a frozen hell, where they can't escape. They can't escape… Won't ever escape. There's no escape from them there, alone, with their thoughts, realizing that they're the worst-that nothing will ever undo their crimes. It's hellish, isn't it? A true hell just for the Agents of Lobotomy Corporation!

Image U...um… Yes?

Image Luckily for them-unlike some of us, they can get out! The third kiss is the lethal one, and that isn't administered until the end of the day.

Image Then how do I get out?

Image We send in some help, of course!

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Image The next person sent to work with the Abnormality is given a rose sword, to use to try and rescue their fellow Agent.

Image Wowsers! You really sent Miss Medea to come save me? She's a Training team legend!

Image Don't be silly. This is stock footage. I had someone else go bail you out. Since you don't listen, it can't be helped if you die, right? Right?!

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Image Once inside, the Agent and the Queen have a duel!

Image Miss Hod, your thoughts are doing the thing again…

Image The duel's outcome is unrelated to the work type selected, and the only thing that matters is the Agent's Fortitude level. At Level 5, the rescuing Agent cannot possibly fail, but below that the odds range from 10% to 80%. Should the Agent fail, both die.

Image Th-thank goodness that Nea has Level 5 Fortitude, then, huh?

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Image Once the work is done, if successful, both Agents can leave-and they get a special gift to commemorate the occasion.

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Image Hey! My cheek's all icy now!

Image This special E.G.O Gift provides the Agent with +6 HP and SP. Since it's a guaranteed gift for winning the duel, it's worth putting Agents at risk so long as you follow the guidelines that we've set forth. Tiffany… Tiffany, you knew you weren't supposed to take that much Enkephalin. Why would you take so much? Why did you kill yourself?! Tiffany…!

Image Um… so are we done now?

Image ...No. No we can't stop. Not yet. The Snow Queen has one more undocumented feature.

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Image For it, we'll need to use Elodie. Tiffany's old friend. They talked on my team-plenty. I bet about how to get more Enkephalin out of old Hod… even though she's trying to do her very best to make sure that everyone is alright, caring for each of them like none of the other Sephirot ever would!

Image U...um…! Miss Hod…?

Image But it's fine! I can demonstrate this-the unusual effect of an Agent with the Feather of Honor suit working in The Snow Queen's cell!

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Image She… Just burned up...

Image Isn't it interesting? The Feather suit realizes the temperature has dropped, and tries to turn up its heat to compensate… but that's too much for any Agent to take, so it just burns them alive insead! Cooked from the inside out! This was in the training materials I passed out in that meeting about the Firebird-but nobody came to that one, so of course no one would know about it. So we'll teach everyone through pain and observation. Pain and observation.

Image Um… Miss Hod… I really think you should take a moment to breathe.

Image But why? What purpose is there in that? I haven't done anything wrong. Tiffany died-she abused my kindness and she died. And Elodie was her friend, of course she was abusing it too. They both abused it, so they deserve this.

Image Really Miss Hod, you sh-should take a moment to-

Image And what did I do? I sent Tiffany her old friend! Now they can both talk to each other, wherever they are! Even though they both betrayed my trust, even though they got my counseling cancelled, I'm only thinking about them. I'm a good person! No matter what happens, I'm a good person!

Image M-Miss Hod..!

Image I'm a good person! Won't someone please recognize that?! Please, look at me! Look at all the good I've done, all the good I'm doing! Rely on me more! Put all your faith in me! And would it kill you to thank me while you're at it?! Every one of you is ungrateful! You don't deserve my kindness, and here I am providing it for you all every day, because I'm a good person!

Image Manager, please... help! I-I don't know what to do!

Image Everyone should praise and be thankful for me! Because I'm a good person!!!

Image Tch, I suppose you couldn't cut it after all.

Image Manager?! What do you mean?! I've done nothing wrong-! I'm..!

Image Nothing more than a broken machine. We've observed enough pain for the day, thank you.

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Music: Aspire
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Image Good evening, future Managers. I've… made a grave miscalculation. Throughout nearly four months of work, day after day, I've managed to put together a near-complete library of every Abnormality in the entire facility. However, with this latest twist… it's become clear that I cannot simply allow the present Hod to take the stage any longer. I've made a terrible mistake.

Image ...For the sake of those who don't wish to listen to an old man grumbling, I'll cover the Abnormalities now. Feel free to skip to the next episode after this, should you like. Angela.

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Image This blasted chia pet is not particularly dangerous to a powerful facility, but will run rampant over anything less than a crack team of Agents with good White resistance. Moreover, its tendency to teleport around will make it difficult to successfully suppress-as it will be difficult for Agents to damage it while it is warping around. As a result, even at its best it is frustrating. Still, it must be considered for the weapon-its crossbow is a very powerful White ranged weapon, and there are few things better for handling a panicked Agent.

Image My personal recommendation is to take this Abnormality and work on it to gain access to its powerful gear, and then once you are satisfied to rewind time and never think of it again.

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Image This Abnormality unsettles me. It brings up bad memories, clawing at my mind much like an Agent begging to be released from the cell of Nothing There. Since I can't put my finger on why, I'll discard that feeling and judge it fairly.

Image There is absolutely no reason to ever build a facility without The Snow Queen in it.

Image She is perfectly benign, and gives out a very powerful Gift without any random chance. Her weapon is powerful, quick, and slows enemies to make them vulnerable to other attackers. There's really almost nothing bad I can say about her-the only weak point is her suit's weakness to Red damage. Take her, put her in your facility, and reap the rewards. There is little reason not to. That is all there is to say.

Image Now then… since making the mistake of clearing a Dusk Ordeal after first reaching that unopenable door, I haven't since dared complete the missions of our Sephirot. Doing that cleared both Malkuth and Yesod from the field-leaving Angela with their duties. Unfortunately, Malkuth wrote the scripts. Neither Hod nor myself have quite the same touch as she does-but we've tried for the entirety of this season.

Image We had to. My mission was almost complete-and it was my own folly which brought a Dusk Ordeal upon us. Much the same way, my own error has now cost us Hod. I never meant for the Wolf and Red's interaction to spread so far… but I suppose this too was inevitable.

Image Tried as I might to rage against the machine I was trapped within, straining without rest to hold back the movement of the gears, the inexorable weight of this place has finally crushed my resistance. Things are once again moving forward. I cannot move them back, nor can Malkuth, Yesod, or Hod be fixed.

Image ...Two remain. Only two Abnormalities remain. I must see this through-for the sake of those who come after. For the sake of this project. For her.

Image All I need to do is what I've always done. There's no longer time for rambling. Now it falls to me to act.

Next time's featured Abnormality…
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New Guidelines

Alriune
The Snow Queen

New Gear

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Requirements: Prudence 3

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Requirements: Fortitude 3

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Requirements: None

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Requirements: Fortitude 2

New Story

Alriune
The Snow Queen

User avatar
X-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?

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Episode 34: Spider Bud

Music: trailer
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Image Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Spider Bud!

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Image ...Do you people really think this is going to work?

Image Aw, come on, Netzach! These educational videos work great!

Image Then why do I always have to clean up after your dead bodies?

Image Because we're learning! A little bit of effort now will save a lot down the line! It's win-win!

Image It's pointless, is what it is…

Image Come ooooon, you said you'd try it.

Image I said I'd show up.

Image Tiphereth shot us down, and Tiphereth is mysteriously busted again! There's nobody else I can turn to! Pleeeease? I'll be your best friend!

Image My best friend is dead.

Image Then there's an opening! :buddy:

Image …:sigh: Spider Bud is an Abnormality, I guess. It does stuff, and people die.

Image To be specific, it's a TETH-level Abnormality, taking the form of the mom of a lot of spiders.

Image If you work it wrong, it kills you, and then there's nothing anyone can do for you. That's just how things are.

Image So then, how do you work it wrong?

Image Mm… That's not really my department.

Image Oh… then what about its other special qualities?

Image You'd want Yesod for that.

Image Netzaaach!

Image ...Fine, fine. But we're going to need more people to show it off.

Image Oh boy! I finally get another posse!

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Image They're just a bunch of corpses in waiting…

Image They're a posse to help with learning! And they're all excited to do it!

Image Only 'cause they're jacked up on Enkephalin all the time…

Image So, what's first?

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Image The first thing is showing what happens when an Agent with a Prudence of 1 is assigned to work with Spider Bud. Like everything else, it's got rules.

Image And following them is what makes you get out alright!

Image It delays the inevitable, at any rate… Anyways, Agents with low Prudence will accidentally crush some of the spiders while doing their work.

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Image Angered arachnids! It cocooned 'em!

Image When angry, Spider Bud traps the agent inside of a cocoon. They're still alive, for a while, but we can't get them back. The babies wind up using them as food.

Image Um… is that really important to know?

Image Safety's job basically boils down to cleaning up corpses. It's fundamental to us.

Image Does it have any... other effects? Like a bonus to our energy output?

Image Dunno. Not really my concern.

Image Oh! Well, lookie what I found! It turns out it does have an effect. Each cocoon gives one more energy after each work with Spider Bud. Like with Bloodbath, this just adds to the quota, and doesn't count for the boxes used to get equipment!

Image So it's useless.

Image Our Manager is smart and brilliant, so I'm sure he knows how to take advantage of such a thing!

Image The Manager's useless, too. Let's just finish sating your bloodthirst so I can have a nap.

Image Um… You mean showing off the rest of the Abnormality's capabilities? Okay! Can do. The other effect occurs when an Agent is sent to do Insight work, regardless of their stats.

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Image When this happens, they clean away the room and harm some of the baby spiders-and this means they're going to be a cocoon too!

Image That's the only two effects. Are we done here?

Image Not quite! We need to see how many cocoons the cell can get up to!

Image :sigh:

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Image Three…

Image This is a headache. I'm skipping ahead a bit.

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Image Five! It can hold a maximum of five cocoons at once. But who were the other two bodies?

Image Oh, just another couple of Pauls I found.

Image Yowie wowie! I'm spider food?!

Image You know... it's creepy how well you react to watching yourself die over and over.

Image Don't be silly! They're just stunt doubles! Miss Hod and Mr. Manager told me so!

Image And they never lie to you.

Image …they… they would never!

Image They're all Pauls-had to fill out a pain in the ass form for each one. You've been watching yourself die countless times.

Image How… could that be possible..?

Image Because this place is hell. They just don't mention that in the orientation course.

Image But… why…? Why would they lie?

Image The higher-ups say whatever they want to keep everyone else working. That's how this place runs. I just don't care enough to pretend anymore.

Image :magical:

Image I'm out of here. If the Manager has any problem with it, tell him he can scrap me.

Image A-and remember! Knowledge is… pain… plus observation. H-have a… I-I need to think!


Music: Aspire
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Image Good evening, future Managers. Netzach was clearly a mistake, and honestly the less time he spends out of his drunken stupor, the better. I'd replace him, but…

Image That is not allowed.

Image As she said. For some reason, I can't. What I can do is what I've always done. Angela, the graphics.

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Image At its core, Spider Bud is a Fortitude trainer, and likely the best TETH for it due to its low standards of care. Its suit is a TETH version of Laetitia or Hornet-a good all-around piece of gear, capable of responding somewhat well to almost any threat.

Image It doesn't breach, it doesn't cause issues so long as Agents have a Prudence of 2 and you aren't a complete fool, and it is overwhelmingly safe. It does nothing, much the same as a certain Sephirah I could name.

Image Though, I suppose the both of them will also do what they can to ruin things, should they be provoked in a way they don't prefer. Hm. In that, they truly are alike. Still, I won't let anyone stop me. We've come too far. Angela.

Image I have already shown the graphics, Manager.

Image Not that. Assign Paul the maximum allowable amount of Enkephalin. If he's still not stable, assign it again.

Image Manager, that much is likely to-

Image I don't need a machine to tell me about the risks. If he dies, I'll print another one. I simply don't want to deal with explaining all of this to a fresh-faced recruit whose cohost is already beyond our reach.

Image There is always the option of attempting to suppress the Sephirah's core, Manager.

Image You saw what happened with Malkuth and Yesod. Even if I do get through the day, nothing changes. Don't waste any more of my time. Just do as you ought.

Image ...Yes, Manager.

Next time's featured Abnormality…
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New Guidelines

Spider Bud

New Gear

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Requirements: None

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Requirements: Fortitude 2

New Story

Spider Bud
Last edited by TeeQueue on Tue Jun 22, 2021 5:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

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We know this doesn’t end well (until it’s our turn) but it’s still got me worried for everyone involved.

I hope Gebura is the co-host for the next one. Sure, Chesed would probably be more cooperative, but Gebura would be more fun to read. Bonus points if she somehow manages to convince Paul to go apeshit on -70, or really anything else.

Hokma and Binah are presumably not options - Binah is highly disinclined to tell anyone anything ever because her two passions in life are metaphors and violence and she's not allowed to do violence, and if I'm reading him right this version of Hokma is more likely to attempt to pass the responsibility off to Talow.

Though, hmmm... both of those actually also sound kind of hilarious.

User avatar
X-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?

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Episode 35: Dream of a Black Swan

Music: trailer
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Image Hi! I'm Paul, coming to you live from the floor of our facility! Don't mind the stain next to me, I was just vomiting a bit of blood before work! Perfectly normal! I'm just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Dream of a Black Swan!

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Image Hahaha, no, I couldn't! That's always your job, Miss Hod! ...Oh, if you insist! Dream of a Black Swan is a WAW-level Abnormality that takes the form of a number of identical brothers!

Image It's seriously super! Just the best! Why, it's almost impossible to make them breach!

Image Oh, Miss Hod! I'm not that useless! I remember how it works just fine!

Image ...Alright, I will show you! While Dream of a Black Swan has a high Clipoff Counter, it drains in an unusual way, in that no stimule… stimuluh… no problem will make it go down by more than one!

Image Thanks, Miss Hod! I always remember it by just remembering that each brother is a Clipoff, and once a brother melts, they don't clip off anymore. You get it?

Image What do you mean, I seem off? I'm doing just fine! Who knew that a triple-maximized dose of Enkephalin could do so much? I almost don't remember anything at all right now!

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Image You're right, Miss Hod! I should get back to work. You viewers at home aren't paying to watch me ramble on and on by myself. So, Miss Hod, how are we going to lower this thing's counter to 0?

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Image Miss Hod, this thing is terrifying! I don't think I can hold out for very long! Just looking in its eyes reminds me… reminds me...

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Image OH GOD, WHAT AM I DOING?!

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Image this is it. this is what i've been experiencing time and again, dying countless deaths and feeling unfathomable fear. all is lost, all is doomed. i feel them. the pains of my forerunners. there is no hope in this place-

CRACK!!

Image ...Wait, what was I doing?

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Image Haha, wow! I sure am glad you guys beat those nasty thoughts out of my head, Miss Hod! No place for those in the workplace!

Image You're right, Miss Hod! Let's see!

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Image Careening counters! It's dropped to 4! But I don't see anything different in the cell… What happened?

Image ...Oh, it was because the result was bad! I see! But what do you mean by changes?

Image Oh, the ears! I wouldn't have noticed if you didn't say something, Miss Hod! Thank you! And since they've already melted, that means further Bad results won't do anything else, right?

Image ...Aha! I see! But why should we be worried about Normal results?

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Image Galloping goop! His legs just melted right off, Miss Hod! And there's a creepy smileboy behind him!

Image ...Yeah, I do get the idea, Miss Hod! So that means there's three more triggers to avoid before a breach occurs. But what happens if the counter is manually lowered like by Crimson Clowns or the Wolf?

Image Oooh! One changes, and it's picked at random! I see! You're so smart, Miss Hod! :allears:

Image ...Oh, but what's that? The next one is five employees panicking? Don't you worry about that, Miss Hod! That'll be easy!

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Image A l l I h a v e t o d o i s t h i n k.

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Image Hoho, sorry about that folks! We're back, after a not-inconsiderable amount of friendly White damage! It's okay though! I've taken my fourth and fifth doses of Enkephalin and have been assured that my kidneys shouldn't fail for at least another twelve minutes or so!

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Image After 5 panics in a single day, another brother's face melts, removing their mouth! That's gotta be really hard to live with, huh Miss Hod?

Image You're right! I guess I could get away with never talking again! But then, who would do these videos? And what would the fans think?

Image No… no, someone's definitely going to watch these! They have to! Uh-anyways! The last two conditions! One of them is to have three Abnormalities breach, right Miss Hod?

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Image Hahaha, you're right, we do have a specialist! It's funny because he's great at getting other people killed. :buddy:

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Image I see! So since the other requirement is five employees dying, we can let the butterflies handle the hard part before we suppress it! Brilliant!

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Image Jeepers creepers, what happened to their peepers?!

Image ...Ah! Ahaha! So when they died, the peepers went poppers! I see! That makes perfect sense! And now we've got only one clipper count left! And once that's drained, we'll get to see what happens when it breaches! Good work, Miss Hod! Let's just wait for Evil Kit to finish a work with Meat Lantern, and...

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Image We did not think this through, Miss Hod, I can barely see them at all! But they're still there-and it looks like the last one is missing their arms now? What happened?

Image ...Oh! I see! How silly of me!

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Image They called their big sister, the Black Swan! She does a couple of very problematic things! Do you want to say it, Miss Hod, or should I?

Image ...Okay! I'll guess! The first one is that any time she walks by the door of a containment cell, its counter goes down by 1! That means she can quickly make other Abnormalities come outside and dance with her!

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Image ...Haha, nice try Miss Hod! I did my homework on this one! While her umbrella is up like this, any attacks coming from in front of her are reflected back at the attacker! It doesn't deal direct damage, but our most dangerous Agents are now their own worst enemy!

Image Thanks, Miss Hod! Your approval is all I've ever wanted!

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Image Oh, I know this one too! It's a regular ol' whack with an umbrella! Red damage to anyone it hits, but nothing too major. Those are the only two attacks it has in this form.

Image Aha, I surprised you didn't I, Miss Hod? Yep! I already know the trick!

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Image Once the Black Swan has taken more than half of her health in damage, the beak closes around her head and she becomes more swanlike. In this form, she gets one more attack!

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Image The Swan can cry out, which will lower the counters of any nearby Abnormalities by 1. In addition, it seems to hit the Agents from her department for heavy White damage.

Image What do you mean how do I know, Miss Hod?

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Image I'm hearing it right now.

CRACK!!

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Image Hahaha, I'm back! No worries, everyone! It only took one more dose of Enkephalin this time, and I'm only tasting a little blood!

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Image That's right, Miss Hod! As long as we don't hit it from the front it's not a particularly dangerous Abnormality to face off with. How lucky!

Image ...Oh, I thought you would know what happened to the boys! You didn't seem that concerned, Miss Hod.

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Image See? They're all just fine. I'm really glad you always care so much for us. You'd… never…

Image ...Hey. Miss Hod? Can I ask you something?

Image ...Why did you lie to us?

Image I don't care if it's time for the end of the episode, Miss Hod! Answer me!

Image Of course you're hiding something! You cut to something else when you don't wanna answer! I noticed!

Image What are you talking about?! I don't need to calm down! I'm fine! I'm just... Fine…

Image ...Miss Hod? Where'd you go? Miss Hod?!

Image ...Mr. Manager… I don't… feel so good… :zombie:


Music: Aspire
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Image Good evening, future Managers. It seems our long path together has finally made its way to an end. There's only one more duty I hold. Angela.

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Image Dream of a Black Swan is a very safe Abnormality-so long as it isn't melting down it has no possible way of causing problems. The odds of all five of these very specific things happening in a single day is all but impossible-I've never heard of it accidentally breaching without being released by another Abnormality or simply having a Meltdown missed.

Image Its suit is very useful, having both good Red and Black resistance, and its weapon is defensive in nature-randomly deflecting attacks against the holder. That said, a word of caution:

Image Should the Punishing Bird attack someone holding the umbrella, the umbrella will likely reflect its attack back upon it. When this happens, the Bird will take it as an attack against it.

Image The odds of a second reflection happening in a row are very low. The Agent is all but dead in this case-keep them far away from the Bird if you wish to keep them alive.

Image ...and that is all. Hm. The moment of parting is supposed to be a bittersweet one, but all I am feeling is emptiness. I'm sure you'd like to know, dear viewer, what will happen to them. These characters you've grown so attached to over countless episodes. As tempting as it would be to leave it a mystery, there's very little point. We have established that I cannot fix Hod-and you yourself likely know what she's become far better than I would. You've spoken with her, after all.

Image Myself… I have a path to walk once more. I will approach the door, and see now if it will open to me. I believe we both know how that will turn out. It is not mine to open-this is the most I can do, even were I to spend another hundred years trying to accomplish more. As for Paul…

Image Let me make something clear, for those of you who have not yet spoken with our old friend: There is no retirement in this company. Paul will die, he will be recycled, and he will be reborn as though nothing had happened. His memories are not retained, and thus there was no meaning, and no emotion, in his suffering.

Image But… I do believe that when next I meet with Hokma, I'll ask him to let the template rest for a while. I'm sure we're all quite sick of his face by now.

Image So… to you, my future self, a toast. May you do what I could not. Fulfill her plan, and save this world. And, should you ever run into an issue not covered within these training videos, before you panic... try and remember:

Image Knowledge is simply pain plus observation.

Image For now, this old man shall cease his ramblings. Have a pleasant journey.

New Guidelines

Dream of a Black Swan

New Gear

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Requirements: Prudence 3
*Not affected by Attack Speed


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Requirements: Temperance 3

New Story

Dream of a Black Swan (Part 1)
Dream of a Black Swan (Part 2)

Wait, was that the last one left? Congratulations on full documentation! Though if you wanted to be super extra completionist with these, you could have Paul cover every other early abnormality that never got featured on the segment.

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I wouldn't do that to you guys. You've all waited long enough for the 100% ending, and because the next two days are my usual weekend you'll be waiting even longer already-it's time we bring the main story to its close.


And then two more bonus updates and I'll be done. Done-done, this time, not TQ-done.

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Will you be doing the sequel after this is all over and done with?

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I definitely will, though not immediately. Once I'm through proofreading and submitting the SA version to the archive, I'll hopefully have access to the full game script to work with. Watson hasn't come through for me yet and I'm definitely not about to do it without one.

This does lead to the question of if it'll be done well-they're two very different games with completely different styles of presentation, but I'll give it my best shot!

User avatar
I must say, how you wrote Paul going through Black Swan after...well, everything, kinda gave a vibe of It's All Just A Burning Memory, by The Caretaker. It feels sad, and somber, watching Paul slowly succumb to the Enkephalin doses and the madness as his existence in Lobcorp means nothing to the seperiath and manager. ... I might be over imagining things, idk. I really like Paul and am sad to see him go in such a way.
But, it is a part of the experience for an agent in Lobotomy Corporation-face the fear, build the future; even in death, you'll be a part of the company forever.

On a lighter note, congrats on 100% dissolution! :golfclap: Some of those abnos look like hell to get all their info for if you're going in blind.

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