Who is Gwent? Let's Play the entire Witcher series blind!

Put your Let's Plays in here.
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Episode 16: "Okay but I'm not cheating on Triss"

In retrospect, the number of sex scenes was drastically reduced between Witchers 1 and 2. At the very least, I only found the one sex scene with Ves in Witcher 2, whereas I had a lot of collectible cards to censor in Witcher 1. At this point, I don't know which way Witcher 3 will lean on this.

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Episode 17: "Did I die from that?"

Spoiler alert: No, I didn't die from it.

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Episode 18: "This looks bad"

After the... 'understated' meeting of Yennefer earlier in the game, I probably should have been expecting this likewise tepid reaction in the first meeting with Triss.

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Episode 19: "I literally don't know where to find Triss"

I do find Triss in a later episode, eventually. Sort of.

Which segues into the topic of backlog. It turns out that I want to play Witcher 3 because it's a good and compelling game, and even with editing afterward, I am building up a lot of unpublished videos. Great for my Patreon patrons with early access, not great for my memory. I am going to do my best to publish videos on a regular schedule going forward (leaning toward Sunday/Tuesday/Friday).

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Episode 20: "Hello, cat"

It can be so hard for me to do the simplest things. Like read the names of cities, or find people who are marked with icons on the map.

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Episode 21: "Just witcher business"

If there's one thing that's easier in video games than in real life, it's placating children.

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Episode 22: "Don't worry, I've got a horse"

Even denizens of The Witcher series are touching up their photos to look better than they actually do in real life.

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Episode 23: "What eats money?"

It's the moment I've been dreading. The moment when he appears. The source of all my woes.

Fucking Dandelion....

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Episode 24: "I like Dandelion even less now"

Today's episode combines the annoyance of chasing after Dandelion with the annoyance of horse racing. Only one of these activities has a tangible reward.

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Episode 25: "It'll never play on Broadway" :nws:

I'm sorry if I forgot to tag any episodes as NWS because it comes to mind now that I probably did. In any case, nonsense with Dandelion will dominate the main quest for a while and I hate it. Dandelion was fine as a side character in Witcher 1 but 2 and 3 have him as too much of a narcissistic asshole to be endearing.

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Episode 26: "Let me do the thing to the thing"

Just as an FYI to people, when I say things like the episode title above, substituting "thing" for whatever word I actually mean, it's because my brain cannot come up with the correct word in the moment. It is a genuine struggle.

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Episode 27: "Let's find a crafter"

I don't find a crafter :negative:

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Episode 28: "Buckets of ducats"

Look, if I'm going to pretend to turn Triss over to the bad guy, the bad guy could at least pretend to pay me.

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Episode 29: "Did I not suffer enough?"

My desire for a crafter leads me into Hattori's sidequest against my will.

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Episode 30: "Too soon!"

I don't know why, but for some reason I was just in a mood to yell things at characters in this episode.

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Episode 31: "We'll do it the fun way"

I was promised a casino, but all I got was the 'no' part of it.

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Episode 32: "That's very convenient"

It's pretty disheartening to have the things I look forward to doing end up so terrible.

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Episode 33: "No, you're crazy" :nws:

Trigger warning: This episode contains scenes of sexual violence, or perhaps more accurately "aftermath of heavily implied sexual violence" but still, tread carefully.

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Episode 34: "Can Dijkstra narrate my adventures?" :nws:

This video is NSFW for the much more wholesome sort of female nudity that doesn't usually require a trigger warning.

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